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[my-practiceblog]

If I could start over part 3

Haven’t done this in a while, but I’m feeling it again. I’m mostly going to skip through high school, but a few things I’d like to mention- join BBYO earlier and do CLTC in 2011, ILTC in 2012 is not something I’d like to change. Having started the animal rights club is something I should keep, but I wish I joined something else too, maybe an entrepreneur club or something about investing (and as I mentioned in a previous post, definitely tennis). I also could have tried harder in school and taken at least one more AP class (but keep the two I did take).

Now I’d like to fast forward to college. Most likely I would keep the college I went to the same, since that’s where all of the close friends I’ve made are from. However, if I could have gone to a way better college instead maybe I should (but only if I wouldn’t have to take out loans). But I’m going to do this with the assumption that I went to the same college because while a different college could have been better for me, I was very happy at my college so I wouldn’t want to risk it being worse unless it’s a risk that really seems worth it (for example a full ride to Duke). My sorority is the same where I could have been happier in another, but most of my friends today are from my sorority, so I’m not going to risk losing those friendships.

There still is a lot I would want to change about college. First is my major- going back I would have applied to school as a business major. Also maybe add a minor in health and wellness. I probably wouldn’t have joined the equestrian team. I would have joined the hula hoop club my freshman year so I could eventually be part of the performance troop (just because I think that would have been cool). If I did get good enough I would have liked to compete for my sorority at Miss Aphrodite with that as my talent. I would have also liked to join maybe both an entrepreneurial club and an investing club. While living on campus I should have taken advantage of the classes at the gym, going almost every day (at least every day I could) to build a routine, with the goal being to become a group fitness instructor.

Living situations and friends are more difficult ones. I definitely would have liked to change my living situation for everything after my freshman year (keeping the locations the same probably, sophomore year I’d have been okay living in the same community I did freshman year though) but I’m not sure about my freshman year. I had such a great time and I loved my floor and building and was best friends with my roommate, but now I don’t speak to a single one of them. But at the time it was great (until my roommate said she didn’t want to live with me again the following year). I do wish I put a lot more into the friendships that lasted post college, but at the same time some of the friendships that didn’t last were still great for me at the time and as upset as I was when we stopped being friends I don’t know if my college experience would have been as good if it wasn’t for them. So that part is unclear.

Class wise- I should have taken Italian multiple semesters in a row instead of having a gap. I believe I was happy with all of the English classes I took. I would not have taken sociology or Econ. If I studied abroad it would have been junior year instead of senior year. I would have been fine with the same program (or another one that was not through my school do everything would be pass fail) but I should have taken an Italian class instead of the event experiential learning class. The scholarship/work study I should have kept though. I should have been a part time student my final year if I had enough credits.

I wish I had internships either in Manhattan or in another city over the summer. These internships should have been either sales, business, social media, or PR.

Okay still to be continued eventually, but there you go for now!

[my-practiceblog]

If I could start all over pt 2

I had posted a while back on if I started back at age 12 knowing everything I know now, what changes I would make.  That was a long post, but I have a lot more to add, and this probably will not be my last post on the topic either.  This post will focus on money.

Currently we’re still at middle/high school.  I turned 12 in 2007.  As we all know, the recession came in 2008.  I did not have much money at the time, obviously, but I did have some from money my grandpa left me when he died, as well as small savings from allowance, babysitting, birthdays, etc.  After the recession hit I would invest everything I had, leaving myself maybe $100 in savings (I’d be a kid, what do I really need more than that for) in a mix of index funds and FAANG companies.  I would continue babysitting, and attempt to get a job as a lifeguard once I am old enough, and continue putting money into stocks.  As I got a bit older until I graduated college I would leave myself more money in savings for things like eating out and other activities with my friends.  

I would take all my money out of investments the summer of 2019.  I would reinvest everything March 2020.  I would take it all out again fall 2021.  I would slowly reinvest it, putting a bit in each week into Index funds starting September 2022.

I currently have both a Roth IRA and two 401ks (once with my current, one with my former employer).  I believe I started my Roth IRA in 2018 (and have maxed it out each year since), but I actually started working in 2017.  I should have started, and maxed out my Roth IRA in 2017 (even if that means taking money out of my other investments to fund my IRA).  I did, and continue to put a large chunk of my paycheck into my 401k, but I wish I put in even more.  Going back I would get as close to maxing out my 401k as I could without it impacting my spending.  I don’t want to have to lower my standard of living to save more, especially since my standard of living wasn't all that high when I first graduated, but pretty much anything outside of my spending + maybe $200 a month in savings should go to my 401k until it is maxed out  (at least until 2020).  Dependent of how much money I am making in this “new life” if may be much easier for me to max out my 401k, or have way more than $200 leftover for savings, but this is just given that I end up in the same jobs I had, and the content creation career (that I will talk about in my next post) does not go anywhere.

I was very hesitant to spend money when I was in college.  I knew my money was finite, because I didn’t have a job (outside of the summer and a few small paid things throughout the year) so I was always nervous to deplete it.  However, I didn’t realize my entire lifesavings to age 22 I would easily be able to double in just a few paychecks once I got my first real job (or if everything went right with this redo, way sooner than that).  Going back I would have been more willing to spend on fun things with my friends, especially since my parents covered all of my necessities. I wouldn’t want to go overboard or anything, but at least going out to eat with my friends whenever they asked.  Once I get my first job and am earning a real paycheck I would figure out an actual spending plan.

I bought a condo in the winter of 2021.  While ideally if I started over I would have way more money/options, no matter what I still would buy this same condo exactly when I did.  The only change I would make is putting in an offer sooner and maybe for $5000 less than what I bought it for.  Currently I share this apartment with a roommate.  If I do end up at my same job with my same salary I would want to keep that the same, only putting stricter cleaning rules in to place when she first moved in.  But she’s moving out this summer and while she’s lived here she has traveled a ton and I have regularly had the apartment to myself which has been great, especially since living with her hasn’t had any big issues.  However, if I had much more money I would still want to have bought this apartment with the interest rate I got it for, but instead I would not live here and rent the whole apartment out.  I would live either in the city or somewhere warm, but I will get into that in a future post I’m sure.

Not going to get into it, but I would also warn my dad against his former partner, and encourage him to break up that partnership as soon as possible (at least by my sophomore year).  If that were the case certain things I paid for my parents probably would have instead, and other things they would not have struggled with.

Okay that’s it on this one, I’m sure money will come up more down the line, but here are all the big things.

[my-practiceblog]

[my-practiceblog]

I’m in a bad mood and the past 24 hours have just sucked and I need to vent.

First I got ghosted from a guy I was supposed to go on a date with (an hour before we were supposed to go)

Then booking flights for a trip with my friend turned very tense when we couldn’t come to agreements on what we wanted and we couldn’t come up with a resolution last night that would make both of us happy.

This morning I found out a guy who’s been on my team for almost half a year less than me got a promotion that I was rejected for because my VP thinks I have “nervous energy”.

Then my coworker who is actually a good friend of mine stole what’s probably going to be a huge deal from me.

Literally nothing is going my way and I really need a drink so let’s hope I don’t get ghosted by the date I have planned tonight too (though my last 7/7 dates canceled or ghosted, so odds really aren’t in my favor right now).

[my-practiceblog]

If I could start all over

This is going to be a long one.  And it has no practical purpose, just getting my thoughts out.  I saw a post on Facebook a while back that asked if you would choose $1 million now, or start your life over at 12 years old, knowing all that you do now.  The obvious choice, assuming you’re trying to build your best life and don’t mind reliving all those years, is of course to go back to 12.  Now middle school/high school was not the best tie for me, but reading this I just keep thinking about what I would and wouldn’t change if I went back.  There are some things, like my camp, that I enjoyed, but looking back didn’t have any sort of positive impact on my life, where replacing it with something else could have.  There are other things, like where I went to school, that while I am sure there are schools out there that would have been better for me, but I don’t think I’d be willing to risk my friendships and experiences I had there without getting a glimpse of what things would look like if I replaced them.

So I am going to go into all that I can think of, what I would and would not change.  I am going to think of this in a way that I have all the knowledge I have today (and hopefully also the confidence and social skills, because those were highly lacking before college), but still feel the age that I am so that I can have friends and relationships with people my own age without it being weird.  

Let’s see what’s first.  I think 7th grade, the only big thing I would have liked to change was my friendships.  Currently, I speak to no one I went to high school with.  And I am perfectly fine with that.  However, I think if I had some better friends when I was in middle school/high school it would have been a much more enjoyable experience for me.  I think the only friend I definitely should have dropped at that time was this girl Sarah.  We had been friends I think since fourth grade (maybe earlier?) and in real life our friendship ended within a year of graduating from college.  But I am pretty sure it was as early as 7th grade that she stopped being a good friend towards me, and I think ending that sooner would have been very good for me.  Then there are a bunch of girls that I was friendly with, who I think could have been actual friends of mine, even if those friendships still wouldn’t have lasted past graduation.

The next thing I would work on at that time would be hobbies.  I’d like to take up a hobby that could somehow monetarily benefit me at this point, maybe ceramics?  I feel like that’s something that I would enjoy, and after enough years of doing it I would be able to sell pieces that I made.  Or maybe photography.  Graduation shots and likewise could bring in some nice money.  I also wish I started dance lessons (would have been much better prepared for TikTok) and improved my swimming skills so that I could become a lifeguard when I turned 16.  Currently I try swimming laps for exercise, but according to my mom, no one who watched me swim would ever guess I grew up with a pool.  Oops.  But I think being a lifeguard is a fun summer job for a kid, that also pays well, so if I started developing my skills when I was 12 I would be more than prepared for the lifeguard exam at 16.  Maybe even prior to that I would get my scuba license (apparently something you only have to be 10 for a junior license, and 15 for a real license) which is something I’m looking into getting now, but have not found the time.

Last thing I think I’d focus on starting in 7th grade (or 8th, depending on timing of seasons, but I could at least start developing some skills in 7th) is joining school sports.  It looks like all of the sports I wish I did may have been in the fall, but the number one sport I wish I joined was tennis.  Again, something I’m looking into now, but I need to find time and someone to teach me.  I also don’t want to have to pay someone to teach me.  So many things I wish I learned when my parents were willing to pay for them, haha.  But I think it’s a great skill to have because it’s a good workout, it’s social (if you play doubles, or casually against a friend) and it’s the perfect sport for when I am someday a country club wife.  The next sport I wish I did was volleyball.  I remember I tried the first day of try outs and the coach said we would get bruises and I was just like ABSOLUTELY not.  And then years later I told my mom that I was mad at her for not forcing me to continue.  I just think it would have been a fun team to be apart of.  Also, I could have used volleyball skills both social in college at the sand volleyball court we had outside my dorm, and now in one of the social leagues they have in the city.  Besides those two, maybe in the other season I would have tried track and field or lacrosse, but honestly I probably would have hated both, so probably not worth it.

Adding on to the sports section, there was one sport that I did for a season, and would 100% change.  It was 8th or 9th grade I was on the JV softball team, and I would have never done it if I knew how it was going to turn out.  This was not long after I got my braces off, and I was really bad.  Not only did I hate it, but once during practice I was having a catch and missed.  It hit me in the mouth, and slightly shifted my teeth that I had just spent years, and my parents spent so much money to finally get perfect.  So yes, joining that sport was a mistake, and not one I would make again.

Also not sports related, but just wanted to add this in.  I did a school play in 8th grade, and that was actually a very good experience for me.  I am not sure whether the sports I would be doing would overlap with the play, but even if it did I definitely want to do both.  That play is one of the only things I remember from back then that I specifically would not want to change.

Anyway, this post is getting so long, and I have much more to add, but I feel like I can end part one here.  I feel like these things are mostly ongoing until I graduate from high school, while the rest of my things might be more specific, at specific times.

[my-practiceblog]

The Girl Who Owned a City

I went to school in a college town, where that town would not have survived without my school.  To paint a bit of a picture I technically went to school in one town, that had some off campus housing next door to campus, and big chain stores/restaurants (Target, Walmart, Chipotle, Starbucks, etc) all down the highway the campus was located on.  Then we had a downtown area ten minutes away, which technically was a different town.  This is where the majority of students moved to off campus housing their junior year, and also where all the the partying (at frats and off campus houses) and bars (we had one main block that held all of our bars) were located.  My freshman year there were two main restaurants downtown, and three big downtown student apartment complexes.  By the time I graduated there were more good restaurants downtown than I can think of, and at least five (maybe six?) apartment complexes.  My school was growing, and downtown just kept growing and improving along with it.  

There was one alum who basically owned half of downtown.  From what I can think of at the time of my graduation I am pretty sure he owned three bars and the building a fourth was located inside (out of the seven bars on that one street), a hotel, and two restaurants.  The staff of the bars (and probably his other businesses, but I only knew people who worked at the bars) were basically entirely college students.  It always seemed so smart to me that he would open so much in our town, because with the college students there would always be demand.  The more revenue he makes from his businesses the more capital he has to open new businesses, and as long as he is smart in opening things that college students want, his wealth can just keep growing.  

I don’t know why it happened to be while I was in school that there was such a boom in downtown offerings.  However, since we were so under utilized for so long, I know that there must be other big college towns that are in a similar boat to the one we were.  The boat where for a birthday dinner you only had two spots to choose from, and on parent’s weekend they had to drive you out of town because for any sort of special weekend or event there was no way you could get a reservation at one of those two spots.  Since learning about the alum who helped transform my college town, I would love to participate in doing that to another college town.  At least once I accrue enough money that I have the ability to get started.  

I’m just as shocked as you that this post didn’t include a list.  Expect a follow up post soon with a list of the businesses I think every college town needs at least one of, and as long as it is opened by a school with a decently sized population it would practically be guaranteed success.  And since I normally have an ask at the end of my posts, for this one it will be to let me know if you do/did attend a school that didn’t offer enough off campus activities for students and you feel like the town could use a revamp.

[my-practiceblog]

Where I want to go next

As I mentioned in my last post I’ve thought about moving.  Obviously I don’t know what will be going on by the time my lease ends in January.  But right now I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have a job, and I have a fair amount of savings without much responsibility.  I honestly love my apartment and Manhattan, but I hate the cold and have always wanted to at the very least try living somewhere warm.  All my friends and immediate family are here, and the ease in which I can see everyone is definitely a big thing to give up.  But my friends will still be my friends no matter where I live.  I’m young and likely the longer I wait the harder it will be to leave.  Assuming I have no additional attachments by the time ends (a boyfriend I don’t want to leave, a job I love, etc) I think it may be the time for me to take the leap.  However, if I’m going to leave it has to be worth it, and hit all of the must haves I’m listing below.  I am thinking Miami because it’s the only place I know that fits the bill, but would love to hear about any other suggestions that meet my requirements.

1. Somewhere fairly easy to get to from New York (so likely sticking to the east coast).

2. Somewhere warm year round.  Ideally where I could go swimming in January comfortably, but at the very least where every freaks out if it gets below 50 degrees during the day in the middle of winter.

3. A place with a very high young professional population.  I want to be surrounded by people my own age like I am now.

4. A city with lots to do.  Bars, restaurants, activities, at least decent night life.  I don’t want to get bored.

5. I want to live by the water.  Ideally within a fifteen minute drive of nice beaches on the ocean.  I could potentially be okay with a bay or something else of the sort.

6. Ideally some place less expensive than Manhattan, but at the very least not more expensive (though not sure that there really are places in this country more expensive).  I’d really like to build up my savings which is not so easy to do living in the city.  But I could pay similar to what I do now if that’s the way I can really get everything I want.

7. Not in the “Bible Belt”.  I’m Jewish and an atheist and don’t want to have to feel uncomfortable where I live because of either of those things.

8. Some place fairy easy to get around.  I hate driving and love not having a car in the city.  Unfortunately, I understand that I would need a car almost anywhere else I go, but if there are places with really good public transportation, or walkability, that would be great.

9. I am going to need a job, so should go somewhere with good job prospects.

10. I would like to get into anther long term relationship, so I guess a place good for dating?  I feel like any place that fit’s the bill of the above would probably be fine because I assume people everywhere are looking for relationships, but I don’t know, I’m sure some cities are bad for that still.

So, I guess that’s my list.  The last few aren’t necessarily must haves, but this is a pretty laid out description of exactly what I am looking for.  If you have any suggestions of cities you think hit the mark, let me know!  And if you live somewhere you think I would like to live please talk to me so I can ask you questions!!  Specifically would love to talk to people who live or lived in Miami, but also open to other places!  Okay, thank you for reading, and thanks for your help <3

[my-practiceblog]

Reasons to be glad it’s over

I know I planned a while ago to start this blog but life has been weird and it never happened.  But anyway, I finally have a reason to do my first post, so it’s happening!  Towards the beginning of quarantine my boyfriend and I broke up.  It’s sucked because I’m stuck at my parents house and have nothing going on in my life to distract me, and can’t meet someone new, so it’s just pretty hard to really get over him.  On top of that I still think he’s a really good guy so I can’t hate him, and also struggle when my friends are trying to be supportive by saying he sucked but, despite some issues, I don’t think that he did.  However, I listened to a podcast the other day that suggested writing out every little thing you don’t like about your ex or things they did that annoy you and if you focus on these things it’ll be easier to get over them.  Also a good thing to look back at when quarantine ends and I’m able to see him again but will need to stay strong and this list will remind me why.  It’s also my personal feelings so it’s different than my friends saying things about him because this is accurate to the way that I feel which is the only thing that matters in this situation.  So, here we go.

1. He took FOREVER to pick a movie when we were together.  And even if I gave him an option he thought was good he always needed more options to see if there was something better.  It would waste so much time and it was super annoying.  Also I feel like in the end most of the movie we watched together weren’t even great.

2. Off of that note he also would never want to watch rom-coms with me.  I think we watched one the entire time we were together, and that was at the very beginning of our relationship.  Even though I’d always want to.

3. He had a cat.  I’m not a cat person and will never be a cat person.  My roommate has a cat and I already don’t like living with her and was never going to want to live with another cat.  Especially like forever.  If we moved in together and got married I’d be stuck with that cat till it died.  I just want dogs...

4. When we first met me lived in an apartment with his sister which I thought was weird.  He also didn’t tell me this until the first time I stayed over (she was away) and saw girl’s products in his bathroom and questioned him about it.

5. I didn’t like his new apartment.  It was a better location but it was a fifth floor walk up and tiny and he had to get rid of things from his old apartment because he couldn’t even fit everything and it was really loud.  

6. More on his apartment- he didn’t have a side table or coffee table or anything besides his desk and his kitchen counter.  Like when we watched TV I’d have to either hold my water/food or put it on the floor.  Where it also wasn’t safe from his cat.  When I went to sleep I Iiterally had to leave my water on top of the fridge.  He turns 30 in a month, he should not have been living like this.

7. For this tiny apartment he was paying way more than he did before so on top of living in a place that was very whatever he also couldn’t go out or spend as much.

8. Also once he moved he always wanted me to go to him when I liked my apartment better

9. He became less thoughtful the longer we were dating even though to begin with his thoughtfulness was what I liked most about him.

10. He put very little effort into both Valentines Day and my birthday.  And my birthday is my favorite day which he knew.  

11. He never told me he loved me.  And we were together just about 10 months.

12. He never invited me to meet his parents.  They lived in a different city, but even when him mom visited for a weekend he didn’t ask me to meet her.  And I have to guess a mom wants to meet her son’s girlfriend, so he must have said no.

13. In all of our time together I heard him refer to me as his girlfriend exactly once.  There’s no argument that’s what I was, but he never said it outlaid (in front of me at least) which was not a great feeling.

14. He never talked about a future with me (main reason we actually broke up).  The closest was him being upset when I said I didn’t want to keep living in the city for more than a few years,  but that was about it.

15. He would get really annoying when he was drunk.  And he was an awful dancer.  To an embarrassing level.

16. He never wanted to go on double dates with my friends.  I brought it up a bunch but he always seemed weird about it so we never made it happen.  He’d go with me to my friends parties, but that was about it, even though I went out with his friend’s (both as a double/triple date type thing and also me being the only girl with them) but outside the parties he’d never hang out with me and my friends.

17. Sex was eh.

18. He read really weird books.

19. He had MS.  And didn’t tell me until corona happened.  You’d think it’s something you’d share with your girlfriend sooner than that?

20. I had to bring up the “what are we” talk because after three and a half months he never did even though we were talking every single day and going out a few times and week and had met each other’s friends.

21. Before we were official I had a pool party at my parent’s house and he wouldn’t come because he didn’t want to meet my parents yet even though like yes I’d obviously introduce them (which every person who comes to my house meets my parents) but I was inviting him to my party, not to meet my parents, it’s not a big deal.

22. His parents knew about me, which I know because he said his mom was giving him suggestions on what to bring when he did eventually meet them, but apparently even by that point he hadn’t even shown either of them a picture of me?  Like how am I supposed to take that.

23. The one vacation we went on he brought two laptops.  TWO.  On vacation.  Who does that?

24. He was way less social than me.  That’s obviously fine but I want a guy who is going to push me in a social way, not the opposite.

25. Just another comment back on his apartment.  When he was looking he told me he was hoping for a place he could stay in more long term (more than a year long lease).  But he wasn’t looking for a place I could ever live with him.  So basically, at least the way it made me feel, I wasn’t even being considered for his long term.

26. On my birthday he was very drunk and made a comment about how much he cared about me.  And how he thought it was more than I cared about him.  It was weird first of all because that’s basically the most he spoke about his feelings towards me when it was just a drunken comment at a bar, but also I have no idea what it meant. Because when I asked him if he ever thought about a future with me, less than a month later, he didn’t really have an answer.  And if he cared about me that much that would never be the case.

26. Not exactly about him but I’d hear my friends and my brother talk about their relationships and how there wasn’t doubt and they were basically obsessed with each other.  And it just was never what we had.  And was never how we felt about each other.

Okay I think this list is long enough and I got at least all of the main points out there.  Honestly, he was a good guy, and he treated me well, but for the long term I see why it wasn’t going to last.  I don’t know that he ever intended it to.  Which sucks.  But I don’t hate him.  But it also is good that we’re over.  And now I can come back from the quarantine and do what’s best for me.  Meet new guys, find someone who is a fit for me and who I have with whatever it was we were missing.  Or maybe I can move somewhere new and warm.  Because I am single and now all the possibilities are open.  

Alright, enough for my first post.  If you have any thought, comments, questions, feedback, literally anything, please send it my way.  And thank you for reading, hopefully I’ll have some brighter things to post about soon and I can keep improving. <3 <3

[my-practiceblog]

So I decided to start a blog

I recently have a lot of free time and want to try some new things.  I’ve always enjoyed writing my thoughts down, but I would never consider myself a good writer.  I figured it was something I could work on and see how it goes.  I recently saw that girl from my high school quit her job and now is living abroad doing blogging in addition to remote work handling social media for some small businesses.  I thought that was pretty awesome and just wanted to see how the writing part would go for me.

This blog is going to be neither organized nor focused.  I’m going to try to write as often as possible, but it will just be whatever topic is on my mind, or about my day.  If I end up liking it I may actually try to turn it into something, and that will be where the focus comes in.  For now though I am just exploring, and I guess we’ll see what happens.  Feel free to message me any questions/comments/suggestions/whatever you want.  I look forward to getting started on this!