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nagajb · 6 years

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Take My Breath Away

Klance Haunted House AU

I work seasonally at a haunted house. Everything in this story is based off of things that have happened to me or my coworkers. (4k words)

October: the greatest month of the year. One could tell it was near, what with the trees exploding into color, the cool breezes chasing off the last of the late-summer warmth, the promise of hot drinks, cheap candy, and pumpkin-everything drifting in with it. Keith loves October. He stamps his boots into the ground as he walks, the crunching of leaves drowning out his heavy steps, filling him with that strange feeling of glee that the feeling of dead leaves underfoot gives an autumn soul.

It was definitely the best time of the year.

“Keith!” a voice shouts, and he looks up from the brown leaves underfoot to see Shiro standing about a hundred feet down the road, waving his arm. “Come on, you’re late! We need you in costume!”

He picks up the pace, heading to meet Shiro at the big shed that functions as a sort of dressing room. A few of his coworkers are already standing around outside, dressed in various costumes, holding masks, waiting for makeup, or scarfing down a quick dinner before the night began. Allura was always very strict about workers not leaving the house until their shift was over, so no one would see various goblins and ghouls lounging around, having a cigarette or waiting in line for the Port-a-Potty. Wouldn’t want to ruin the magic.

As he jogged inside, he was quickly confronted by Coran, who was, as per usual, flinging costumes around. “Keith! You’re late! Sign in, get dressed, Shay’s waiting for you at makeup!”

Keith nods, quickly clocking in and grabbing his costume bag from Coran. He moves to the back, letting a few more of his late coworkers into the dressing room. Keith, as well as all the other workers milling about, are dressed all in black, from his long-sleeved turtleneck to his leggings and boots. He tugs open his bag, pulling out his long cloak, detached collar, tie, and gloves. Vampire.

Each worker played different parts, and they liked to switch them up sometimes, to give a little variety. Vampire was one of Keith’s favorite. The vampire room was located on an exit, which meant he could leave quickly if something bad happened. Also, security walked through often, which meant he didn’t have to deal with too many drunks or creeps. He didn’t have to wear a mask, either, which was his favorite thing. The latex was uncomfortable, he always felt suffocated, his hair got stuck to his face, and it got very warm in there. Breathing into hot, sealed latex for three hours was something a person had to live with.

He quickly tugged his costume on, popping in the collar, adjusting the cape, and then sweeping out towards the makeup booth.

“You’re late, Kogane!” Axca shouts as he jogs by her, and he shoots her the finger. She’s already in hair and makeup, face painted white and clad in a long, red dress. She’s a zombified Queen of Hearts, bright red wig balanced meticulously over her dark purple hair, and a set of cards stuck in her chest with a comical amount of fake blood. Keith takes a moment to admire the costumes: Coran works very hard on them, and Allura drops tons of funds to make sure he has the best fabric, materials, and props to make them incredible. And its sort of funny to watch a zombified Queen of Hearts sharing a Redbull with a ghost in a prom dress splattered with blood.

Working at a haunted house is funny like that; not that Keith was ever very scared of them in the first place. But something about seeing a mad doctor playing Candy Crush, or watching a ghoulish scarecrow dance the macarena with a minotaur really takes the fear factor away from the job. And once you spend three hours in a room decorated to look like a haunted bathroom, you get a little bored with the bloody reflections appearing in the electric, cracked mirror.

The makeup tent is set up a little way from the dressing rooms, and he sees Shiro standing outside. He waves, and Shiro waves back, beckoning him to hurry. “Why’re you so late?” he asks, ushering Keith inside.

“Lost track of time.” “Well, you’re up. Shay’s been fretting, so apologize.”

Upsetting Shay is probably the worst thing a human being could do. Shay, extremely tall, ripped, with short brown hair and dark skin, is probably the sweetest human being on the face of the earth. She always wore some sort of wild makeup; dark greens and grays all over her face, huge piercings, and her muscled arms were covered in tattoos. And she was very good at her job. She could turn anyone into something truly terrifying. Shay was standing by a chair cleaning brushes when Keith and Shiro walked in. “Keith! Thank goodness, sit down,” she says, dropping her brushes and flitting over to her cabinet, pulling out face paints and prosthetics.

“Sorry I’m so late, lost track of time,” he says quickly, dropping into a chair as Shay begins pouring white onto her pallet.

“It’s fine, honey. You’re an easy client,” she says, pushing his bangs back with a headband. She picks up a sponge and begins dabbing the white cream over his already pale face. “You’re our best vampire client. It’s not too far off from how you normally look.”

“Thanks,” he says sarcastically. Shay smiles and starts putting a dark shadow over his eyes.

“Shiro!” a voice calls from outside the tent, and then Allura is sweeping into the room. Allura is very kind, a wonderful person really, and a great boss. However, she is also the most terrifying person Keith has ever met. Especially when stressed, and she is certainly stressed now. Keith can tell by the way her white hair frizzes up out of its messy bun, her face is flushed, and she’s breathing as if she’s been running. She has three different pens stuck in her hair, and she’s holding her clipboard and walkie talky in a death grip. “Shiro, we need to do a quick security check. Are you ready?” she asks, walking quickly to the taller man. The white-haired man nods and moves out of the tent, raising his own walkie talky to alert the rest of security.

Security was something Allura took very seriously and was part of what made her such a good boss. They had had lots of problems in the past with drunks or druggies coming through, or people punching workers out of fear, or big groups of guys coming in and groping some of the female scarers. Now, Shiro, a formidable ex-soldier with intimidating height and muscle, as well as a group of volunteers from local biker gangs patrolled every fifteen minutes, just to make sure everyone was doing all right. It made Keith feel much better when he was stuck in a room alone without an easy exit.

With Shiro gone, Allura turns on Shay. “Makeup nearly done?” she asks, voice high.

“This is my last one,” Shay says, reaching for spirit gum to attach Keith’s fangs. The worst part of the vampire costume. They made his voice sound funny.

“Great. Keith, you’re late, places in ten.”

“Right on.” Allura sweeps out as quickly as she came.

“For someone who loves her job, Allura sure does stress about it,” Keith says to Shay as she readies a fang.

“Tip your head back, open your mouth.” He does. “She likes to stress. Some people are like that. And you know she wants to make her father proud.”

Keith knows. He remembers visiting the house when he was younger, remembers Alfor carrying a tiny Allura on his shoulders as he cheerfully greeted the crowd of people waiting to enter. This was her father’s dream, and now it was hers.

“Any plans tonight?” Keith asks, wincing at how his teeth catch on his lip and limit his voice. Shay smiles.

“My boyfriend is coming, I’m going to show him around. I’ll introduce you two later, he’s working until eight or so.” Keith knew of Shay’s boyfriend, she loved to gush about him any chance she got. He was a chef, and Keith had never met him, but Shay was happy, and so he was happy for her.

“Okay honey, you’re done. Go get in line or Allura will have us both in trouble.”

He thanks her and hurries out of the tent. Everyone is lining up. They’re numbered, with 20-40 in the front, including the Children of the Corn, the haunted locker room, the cannibals, and the cult room. He moves into that group, standing behind a tall man in a blood-spattered jumpsuit and clown mask, holding a bucket.

“Hey, late guy,” a voice behind him says. He turns and is confronted by a tiny girl in a scaly suit, holding a mask in one clawed hand, and a club in the other.

“Hey, Pidge,” he responds.

“We’re neighbors today,” the girl says, reaching to push her glasses up her nose. He recognizes the reflex, as usually, Pidge wears thick, round glasses. However, they fog up under the latex, and she, as well as all the other glasses-wearers among them, are forced to wear contacts. She wrinkles her nose up when her fingers don’t brush the thick frames.

Keith likes Pidge. She’s a few years younger than him, a college freshman, and she only works seasonally to make some extra cash. Also, he’s pretty sure fifty percent of her joy in life is messing with teenagers. It’s what she does best. But he likes to work with her. It gets lonely, standing around for hours, waiting for groups to come through to scare. The haunted mansions room, where Keith’s vampire would be, was connected to the hallway Pidge would be prowling. She was always the gremlin, which she resented, because it was because she was the only one small enough to fit the job. However, she put up with it, because she was allowed to drop out of the ceiling in front of passerby’s, and she always got a big scream out of it.

Their conversation is stopped by Allura passing by and counting them off. When she reaches the front, Shiro by her side, she pulls out her bullhorn, and calls to them, “Places!”

They begin filing in, one group led through the back by Shiro, the other led around the front by Adam, Shiro’s fiancé and head of staging. The two brush hands and smile as they pass each other, prompting Keith and Pidge to fake vomit, and Matt, the tech guy, to wolf whistle. Adam flips them all off, and they head inside.

The cannibals are dropped off first, all in dark makeup and covered in fake blood. Next is the Witches Brew room, where Nyma, a tall blonde currently obscured in nasty prosthetics and a huge cloak, salutes the crew as she takes her place. Next is Keith’s room, where he and Pidge split off from the group.

The Haunted Mansion is very dark. Adam does an incredible job with settings. Each room is darkened, with completely black corners and well-placed walls to give workers a place to hide. The Mansion contains a fake fire place that flickers the only light in the room. The walls are covered in mechanical portraits, courtesy of Matt, and they move and change, to draw the attention of guests. A huge red velvet chair sits in the corner, where Keith will spend most of the night. From it, he can see people entering, but they rarely see him. He gets in position.

As his eyes adjust to the darkness, he sees Pidge getting into position as well. There’s a tiny panel in the corner of his room, where she can crawl up into the ceiling. Above is a trap door, which one would only be able to see if they were looking for it.

They sit around for a couple minutes, Keith pulling out his phone to check the time and then his email, Pidge setting up the trap door. Finally, a flashlight shining into the room alerts him of the final security check.

“All good in here?” Shiro asks, shining the light around. Keith gives him a thumbs up, and Pidge gives a muffled “Yep!” from the ceiling.

“Right on, sending the first group in five minutes.”

All in all, Keith has an easy job.

They open doors at 7 and stay open until midnight. At 10, he gets a break and makeup refresh. They send in groups every minute or so, and there’s a consistent flow of customers for usually his entire shift.

There’s no heavy lifting, or customer service, or cash registers. Just him, making sure everyone who comes through his room is terrified when they leave.

The only rule that Allura is very strict on is no touching. They’d had incidents in the past with scarers getting too excited and grabbing customers, and there’d always been a scandal following. Allura was strict with her policy, and if word got out that someone had touched someone in her haunted house, they were fired immediately. She didn’t have time for scandals, she said.

However, it was a pretty easy rule to follow. Most people were so scared that they kept their distance or let him know immediately if he was getting to close.

The only other issue that ever came up was children. Keith had been going to haunted houses since he was five years old, and he’d never really been scared of them. However, he realized pretty quickly that that wasn’t a normal kid thing. Little kids were terrified of him. He hated it when they cried, and he especially hated the parents who scared them on purpose to get a laugh out of it. If he saw someone crying, he usually backed off, let them pass, waved to them to let them know it wasn’t real. Pidge liked to do a little dance for them, to make them giggle at her before moving on.

By far his favorite people to scare were dudes. They were often told to focus their energy on scaring teenage girls, who Allura said, “screamed the loudest and at the highest pitch, and make people outside excited to go in”. And she was right, the girls were the loudest, definitely loud enough for people waiting in line to hear. But in his experience, the teenage girls weren’t scared, so to say. They liked to be scared, they giggled and shoved each other and shrieked delightedly when he jumped out at them. They came to be scared, and thouroughly enjoyed themselves. No, there wasn’t much of a challenge in them. Instead, Keith focused his attention on the guys. Usually, they were trying to play it cool, to impress their friends, to come out and talk about how lame and not scary at all it had been. But Keith knew how they screeched in terror and huddled together when he popped out and hissed. He thought of it as his part in ridding the world of its toxic masculinity. Did that make him a hero? Maybe. He wouldn’t say.

He heard Pidge drop to the floor with a thump and a growl, and heard a large shriek go up. Girls. He slipped into his corner, tugging at his hair, which was getting long, and which Shay had tied back for him with a black ribbon. He hoped he hadn’t smudged his makeup, and wondered what time it was, and then the girls were walking in.

They walked in a tight group, laughing off Pidge’s scare, shrieking and pointing at the moving pictures on the wall. The girl that had been pushed to the front was peeking through her fingers, giggling uncontrollably, repeating over and over, “Is there someone in her? Oh my god, is someone in here?”

He lets them look around, and then move towards the door to the next room, before he swoops in. Rising quickly, he growls and hisses, jumping towards them. They scream with delight. “Oh my god, a vampire!” “Dude, that’s so cool!” “Ugh, I KNEW there was someone in here!” five female voices all screech at once, and then they’re running out the door.

“Hey,” Pidge says, popping into his room, tugging her mask off and fixing her hair. “It’s getting hot in here.”

“You’re in luck, Shiro should be coming through with water soon,” he says, pulling out his phone to check.

“Good. God, latex is the worst thing to ever happen to me.”

Keith opens his mouth to make a snarky comment when a loud shriek booms through the room. “Jesus!” Pidge curses, jumping at the unusually loud voice. “Was that a scarer or a customer?”

“Better get in position, there’s must be another group coming,” Keith says, adjusting his collar and fiddling with his hair again.

Pidge nods and wrestles her mask back on, cursing. “It’s getting a little wet in here,” she says, voice muffled by the latex.

“Gross.” “Shut up, Mr. Perfect Vampire.”

Pidge begins crawling up through the paneling when another shriek comes through, closer now. “God, that has to be a customer! No one is that loud.”

“Must be a big group.”

They wait ten seconds, and then the voice comes through again, slightly muffled, but definitely hearable through the thin walls.

“… JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH HELL BELOW ME FUCK!” it screams this time. Pidge stifles a laugh.

“Is that a guy?” she says incredulously.

“… OH JUST FUCK ME WITH A CHAINSAW OH JESUS FUCK!”

Pidge laughs again. “We got a screamer! Bet I can make him cry,” she says, crawling through and closing the door behind her.

“Hunk, buddy, pal, light of my life, why on HOLY FUCKER MOTHER EARTH! Are we doing this?”

They’re very close now, and Keith can tell by the cackles of laughter and inhuman shrieking that they’re going through the Deadly Circus room. Always a fan favorite. And Keith’s sign that the customers were coming soon.

“SCARY CLOWN SCARY CLOWN SWEET JESUS HELL FUCK!” Yep. Definitely clowns. He hears the floor squeak and knows they’re in Pidge’s hallway. He slides back into position.

“Okay. Empty hallway. They’re giving us a break. You know, I’m cool with that. That’s just- AHHH TINY EVIL GREMLIN!” the man’s voice screams, and the thump on the floor tells him Pidge has gone in for the kill. He hears her inhuman hiss, and a loud growl, and the man screams. He has barely a second to prepare when a man is booking it into his room.

He lurches to a stop in the entry way. “Hunk, come on, I’m scared, come hold my hand,” he says, shouting behind him. Keith peers through the darkness and is able to make out the shape of a tall man reaching out his hand, and an even taller, though far less lanky man coming behind him. The second man is laughing, which makes Keith think that one must be the Hunk the other is referring to.

“Damn, Lance. I thought you could handle this!” Hunk laughs, taking the man’s hand.

“You told me your sweet, lovely, angel girlfriend worked here! I thought it was for kids!”

“It is for kids, you’re just a wimp.”

“Hey now, I said I’d come to keep you company, and this is the thanks I get?”

As the bicker, Keith decides it’s as good a time as any to make an entrance. He stands without either of them noticing and slips behind them as they walk towards the door.

“Well, at least there’s no one here, just these creepy pictures,” the other man, who Keith assumes is Lance, says.

While he looks at them, Keith takes his opportunity, sliding up beside him, and whispering right into his ear, “Hello.”

Lance screeches, whirling around, lifting his hand up. Keith ducks, knowing by now that some people’s response to fear is a hard slap to the face. He raises his arms to deflect the blow, but it never comes. Instead, the man says, in a very high-pitched voice, full of absolute terror, “HIGH FIVE?”

Keith looks up, and sees the man is hunched down, one hand raised, eyes peering at him through the darkness. He looks terrified, but the response, the waiting hand, and the wide blue eyes staring at him catch Keith off guard. Before he can even think about it, he high fives the terrified man.

“Oh!” the man says. “I didn’t think you’d do it.” He blinks up at Keith, who stares dumbfounded back. Who responds to fear with a high five? Wasn’t this the guy shrieking through the entire house?

“Can I have a hug?” the man asks hesitantly. Keith blinks again. Hunk laughs, nearly doubling over.

“Lance! Seriously?”

Lance looks Keith in the eye and stretches out his arms. Without thinking, Keith stretches his arms out too, and is about to hug the other man, before getting his head back. He wasn’t supposed to touch clients, he could get fired, a high five was pushing it with Allura. Quickly, at the last second before they connected, Keith threw up his hands and backed away.

“Aw! Come on, man!” Lance complains. He doesn’t look so scared anymore, in fact, he looks like he’s about to laugh.

Keith bows his head, face burning, desperately trying to stay somewhat in character after that embarrassing display.

“Let’s go, dude,” Hunk says, laughing, tugging Lance away from Keith. As they walk out the door, he hears Lance say, “Well, I almost got a hug out of this!”

“What the hell was that!” a voice cackles above him, and he sees Pidge peering down at him from the ceiling.

“Shut up, he… surprised me,” Keith says. There’s a scream next door, and Pidge quickly pops the trap door closed, and Keith gets in position. No time to dwell on a mistake, he thinks to himself. Just move on.

The rest of his shift is pretty uneventful. He gets shoved by some guy walking through with his girlfriend, which sours his mood for a little while. But a little girl dressed as a princess comes through and giggles and touches his head with her little scepter when he bows dramatically for her. He gets lots of good scares in, absolutely terrifies a man walking through with his little boy, causes a group of teenagers to nearly faint when he pops up behind them to open the door. All in all, a regular day at work.

He’s turned in his costume and Shay is helping him take off his makeup when things get interesting. Pidge has been teasing him for his little run in with Lance and Hunk, telling the story to anyone who would listen. She’s telling Romelle now, as the blonde helps Coran readjust costumes. He watches her laugh with a disgruntled frown. Shay is finally wiping the white from his face when two men enter the tent.

“Hi baby!” she says, lighting up and running over to one, leaving Keith to finish wiping at his face. He’s so focused on removing the last of his troublesome makeup and fiddling with his dark hair that he doesn’t pay any attention to the newcomers until he hears Shay calling his name.

“Keith, this is my boyfriend Hunk!” she says, and Keith’s head shoots up. Hunk, who Keith can now see in the dingy light of the makeup tent, is tall and muscled, with shaggy, dark brown hair held back by an orange bandana. He’s smiling, hand outstretched for Keith to shake, and he does.

“It’s nice to meet you!” the man says happily. “The house was super cool. You guys do an awesome job.”

Keith can’t help but smile at the praise. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I did. My friend didn’t so much, though. He was the one screaming like a baby the entire time.”

“Hey!” an indignant voice behind them says. Hunk steps aside, grinning, and his companion steps forward. Lance.

“The name’s Lance,” he says smoothly, reaching his hand out and taking Keith’s. “And you are?”

“Uh,” Keith says dumbly.

In the light, Lance is… different. He’s tall and lanky, like Keith had seen before, but his skin is a smooth brown, his hair a little wavy, and his smiling face is spattered with freckles. And Keith… Keith is a weak man.

“Lance, will you stop flirting with everyone? I swear,” Hunk says with a laugh, turning to Shay, “he tried hitting on a vampire that scared the living shit out of him.”

“Really?” Shay says, raising an eyebrow at Keith. So, Hunk and Lance didn’t recognize him. It wasn’t easy, under all his makeup, in full costume, and in the dark, but he let out a sigh of relief all the same. But Shay, she knew.

“In my defense, he was a very pretty vampire!” Lance says defensively. “I love a man who can really take my breath away.”

Hunk laughs again, and Shay joins in, wiggling her eyebrows at Keith. He blushes and looks at the floor.

“Well, anyway,” Hunk says finally, “we better go. It’s late, and we’re meeting my parents for breakfast tomorrow.” He throws his arm around Shay’s shoulders, and she beams up at him. Keith smiles approvingly to himself. “Ready to go, Lance?” Lance nods, then shoots another grin at Keith. “I’ll see you around, then. Maybe I’ll come back another time.”

“Think you can make it through without crying?” Keith blurts out, instantly regretting the words. But Lance just laughs.

“Hey, it takes a big man to admit to being scared!” he protests, laughing.

“It does,” Keith responds. “I look forward to seeing you again.”

Lance blinks, then blushes, then shoots finger guns in Keith’s direction. “Right. Yes. See you!”

And then the three are leaving the tent, Hunk and Shay laughing at Lance, while he shoved them out the door.

And Keith is left in the tent, smiling.

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