namelessadoptee

[namelessadoptee]

I will try

I know how few and far between my posts have been. I also know anything I say without actions are just words. However, I have a lot to say. I also know we aren’t here for a long time and anything that we do, we must do for the experience be it good or bad, for the benefit of others, for our own growth as beings and because life. I may not be the best at being consistent with posts at all, but I…

[namelessadoptee]

Her Birthday

I recently started trauma therapy. A long time coming, but at least I started it. * in a different post I will talk more on that* So, being me and finally finding another therapist *(after losing mine of 11 years)*… one who not only makes me feel safe, heard, understood but also just gets it. The flood gates open in very ADD ways or she is a Jedi and these are the traumas she is looking…

[namelessadoptee]

It has been a while…

I want to quickly say, I had no intention of abandoning this blog. Abandoning my journey as an adult who has met and had communication with their biological relations and been raised in a family where, I was the middle child and the only adopted one. Where the atmosphere was extremely toxic on both sides of the fence. Neither in my family life or in the “excitement” of meeting or knowing your…

[namelessadoptee]

Learning to cope... Again.

Learning to cope… Again.

Life is hell… I was taking out my fear and turning it into rage… Anyone in my way was… Well, for a borderline, they were in my way. Normally I can control it but circumstances had me out of control. Finally, one insomniac night after raging. Up all alone. I just wanted to get it out. I needed to. Normally I would first start with a sketch but I needed this to have no boundaries because my…

[namelessadoptee]

I love a man so afraid to give up anything that he consumes me and doesn't even know it...

[namelessadoptee]

Plutonium

I wanted him to see me, so I made myself glow as bright as plutonium.

I think the glow if my luminescence worked for a time. The excitement. The attention.

But, like all radioactive material... It's unstable. And there is just so much time you can be around it until you find yourself... sick, needing to abandon it.

I think I must of been plutonium for my whole life... Because I find myself have being abandoned, from the moment I was born

Except I was always someone's glow, just for a while.

3.22.21

B.

[namelessadoptee]

Serious in Progress: Pt 1

I have always had a knack for drawing human anatomy… Except it was organs. In art class in college (WHICH I AM VEHEMTLY AGAINST BECAUSE GRADING ART IS WRONG) I was never able to draw a human. I once tried to draw my old best friend and ended up drawing solid snake from the video game even before I knew about that game. I do have one other attempt at the human body but it has an abstract twist…

[namelessadoptee]

Insomniac Sunrise

My subjects. (It sounds better in my head because I have conducted legal experiments for my BA.)

[namelessadoptee]

BABY BLUES IN MACRORONI

I got it from my birth momma.

[namelessadoptee]

I have heard that drawing a hand is quite difficult. I have never attempted unless I had actually traced my hand first... Since I started this new sketchbook and actually tried to capture an iris... I have begun to challenge myself more and more. I have a knack for anatomy drawing... But only organs. This is all new to me. So this is attempt 1 of a hand. Not really shaded. It is a drawing of my hand, my tattoo, and my scars. #drawingofahand #anatomydrawing #sketchesofbodyparts #sketchbookdrawing #sketchbook #pencildrawing #pencilandpaper #smudging #smudge #practicingdrawing #firstattempt #stilllifesketch #teachingmyselftodraw #drawing https://www.instagram.com/p/CMXk67zhASw/?igshid=z8qdpslxb6uy

[namelessadoptee]

Took a picture of my ear... I felt that the old ways of just going with it were probably not ideal. I have always been terrible at sill lives (portraits) I once tried to draw my old best friend and ended up drawing solid snake even before I knew what that video game character looked like...the earrings though... Well, the industrial is one I've wanted forever. The others I felt added something. #sketchbook #sketchbookdrawing #pencildrawing #pencilsketch #anatomydrawing #sketchofanear #teachingmyselftodraw #smudging #smudge #tinysketchbook #artistsoninstagram #art #newartseries https://www.instagram.com/p/CMXkQXchdvD/?igshid=x1xig38psy2z

[namelessadoptee]

Inspired by lips with triangular peaks... I confess I have that type #sketchbook #sketchbookdrawing #pencildrawing #pencilsketch #anatomydrawing #sketchoflips #teachingmyselftodraw #smudging #smudge #tinysketchbook #artistsoninstagram #art #newartseries https://www.instagram.com/p/CMXi6AKhq7h/?igshid=2sta4g0pcvrk

[namelessadoptee]

Inspired by the macro photos of my eye. #sketchbook #sketchbookdrawing #pencildrawing #pencilsketch #anatomydrawing #sketchofeye #teachingmyselftodraw #smudging #smudge #tinysketchbook #artistsoninstagram #art #newartseries https://www.instagram.com/p/CMXii-7BFOf/?igshid=28f01srnsgww

[namelessadoptee]

#photography #anglesandcompositions #abstractphotography #photographer #digitalphotography #sunrisephotography #insomniaphotography #nophotoshop #fuckphotoshop #fuckphotoediting #allnaturalphotography #uneditedphotography https://www.instagram.com/p/CMXQRFoBDyh/?igshid=e5imn7uph6m2

[namelessadoptee]

Sunrise insomnia #sunrisephotography #abstractphotography #abstractart #onlyafilter #nophotoshop #fuckphotoshop #photography #digitalphotography #anglesandcompositions https://www.instagram.com/p/CMXQAB1hz7i/?igshid=1v39v17h799cy

[namelessadoptee]

25 to 30: The Birthday of an Adoptee

It’s weird to have had this duality about my birthday my whole life. I have always been so excited about a month before up until two weeks after. Well, the whole a week before and a week after birthday celebration thing lasted into my teens but as an Adoptee, birthdays themselves have this sort of duality to them one I never pieced together even though I was experiencing it my whole life. Before…

[namelessadoptee]

Macro shots of my baby blues. #macrophotography #macrolens #macroeyeshot #macroeyes #photography #digitalphotography #playingwithamacrolens #babyblues #blueeyes #photoshoot #instaphotography https://www.instagram.com/p/CMWvCJrh4U5/?igshid=1uk06v15arkqq