napkinmouse

[napkinmouse]

Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy doing GODS WORK

Discord made it look like Joltik was saying this and I was tickled by that idea. So much so that I drew it

Alternate version

[napkinmouse]

cosmo, wanda, i want you to spawn a piece of radioactive plutonium in that person's stomach

[napkinmouse]

Lol

Character design is hard

Genshin recently released some creatures that look like a much better version of my fursona ideas I attempted to make in the past. It’s resurfaced a reoccurring issue I’ve struggled with since I first started drawing, as a matter of fact. Every single one of my design is practically a 1 for 1 of something else, but ✨stylized✨. They are boring, simple, plain, and definitely plagiarized to some degree. When I do try to make something unique, it comes out looking half baked at best.

To add to insult to injury, it turns out that nobody really likes my fursona designs I’ve made for them. Well… I guess that’s not entirely accurate. They only like it because I made it and it’s a “neat” design. Not because they actually relate to it in any way, which defeats the whole fucking point. Never mind that I spent months trying to figure out which type of animal would most accurately depict by using years of observing their mannerisms. Quite literally losing sleep over it thanks to it being a hyperfixation until I figured it out. Which, to be fair to them, is understandable since my designs are all shit anyways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ one of them is literally just a stuffed animal I saw and put it in a dress, and another is basically a recolored version of a comic I used to read, which because of the colors I chose gets mistaken for Fluttershy. Not a *single* one of my friends actually relates to them despite all the effort I put in.

Then again, I guess I did do that on purpose to a degree. I chose these creatures after careful deliberation, and not so much preference. For example: I have a friend who LOVES raccoons, but I personally think a rat suits him better. Raccoons are round, slow, gluttonous, a bit of a goblin, bot overall pretty chill. ….he, however, is none of those things. He is highly intelligent, nervous, *needs* routine, and is uncomfortable with breaking away from patterns. He needs tests and has a very reward centric personality, or at least a huge fear of failure. But, can still be soft and sweet, albeit a bit always, It reminds me of a lab rat.

I like the challenge of trying to figure something out from a psychological perspective more so than what I think is cool. I also like the idea of using something I’m not super into as a way of learning to love aspects myself. Otherwise, I would have chosen a fox. I was obsessed with them for a long time. So much so that my “fursona” as a kid was Renamon for a long time. Because I’m an unoriginal hack. However, foxes have a lot of symbolism that I don’t really have. They also don’t share visual features or personality traits with me. Except maybe the weird screaming. If I were a fox, it would no longer be “me” anymore. I would be cool, for one thing. Ha ha

All in all, I think I’m just gonna stop trying. My fursonas are shit. They always have been. Designing them is upsetting because I hate how basic all my designs are. I should just stick with people. Especially since the hard work amounts to nothing and doesn’t matter anyways, so I’m just gonna give up on this aspect and stop trying to do something that clearly isn’t working. I’ll just stick to making boring ass fanart sketches with 2/3rds profile headshot.

[napkinmouse]

Whoops I forgot to post this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ regardless, but I actually had a lot of fun with this and think it actually came out nice!

Anyways, here are the links : Paypal, Venmo (I’d share a link for Zelle to, but couldn’t find one….)

[napkinmouse]

A little guy

And then a long lil guy

[napkinmouse]

I TURNED HIM INTO A STICKER

[napkinmouse]

I made “folder” icons for procreate a while ago so I could actually find things. I love procreate, but I hate the organizational system 😭 at the very least, I wish I could nest stacks. I would love to have a character stack, with stacks for the individual characters

Figured I’d share since it might be helpful to someone!

[napkinmouse]

I felt better today so I made a little guy

[napkinmouse]

This is a comic about my real actual life and experience this week. It’s been a few days and I never did hear back from the surgeon. It’s worse than waiting on my internet to be fixed. They say they will send someone to fix it between a certain time, but you don’t see them until 2 days later. Except instead of the consequences being no internet, it’s critical care.

I didn’t even get pain relief. Probably the biggest whiplash was going from “that looks like cancer” to “Motrin and Tylenol should probably be fine”.

Safe to say there probably won’t be any Sanderson updates for a while. I didn’t even have the energy to polish this

[napkinmouse]

I made Sanderson icons for my discord server, and figured I should share them here too

[napkinmouse]

I drew this yesterday and forgot to post it

Im pretty sure I’m late, considering how fast fan artists will make something upon release…. But I couldn’t get this out of my head after the NPC in the new area called the boss monster Bluey.

This was meant to be a low effort shitpost, but I ended up spending way too long on it 😭

[napkinmouse]

What a precious reaction 😭 I am glad he is bringing others as much joy has I had while drawing him!

One of my friends actually made stickers of him on her sticker machine because she loved him so much. It really warms my heart 💕

Thank you for reblogging my lil crab art. It means a lot to me 💕

His name is Sanderson and I love him very much

OMG ANYTIME HE IS GENUINELY SO WONDERFUL I WOULD DIE FOR SANDERSON THANK YOU FOR MAKE HIM

I AM GOING TO GO REBLOG HIM AGAIN RIGHT NEOW

[napkinmouse]

Holy Toledo. This is the most likes I’ve gotten in years. Maybe i should draw him more?

His name is Sanderson, by the way 💕

Him ♥

[napkinmouse]

Him ♥

[napkinmouse]

Ouchie

My arm hurts

[napkinmouse]

Cries in poor.

My ulnar nerve is messing up and very VERY painful. But I am unemployed and uninsured, and I don’t know what to do. I think the last I checked, medicaid cost $400 a month.

The only thing I can do is draw my suffering as a cat furry wearing a shark onesie, aggressively crying

[napkinmouse]

I made a quick comic about my experience with disability, both physical and mental. I guess these are technically thumbnails, but my ulnar nerve hurts too much to continue.

I’ve been really frustrated with everything for a while. It’s hard enough to deal with medical gaslighting, insurmountable bills, and the constant feeling of failure because I can’t accomplish anything. But having to deal with how my friends and family treat me on top of it makes it so much worse. I’m lucky that I finally found at least one person who is willing to believe me, and assist in any way. But the complete lack of any kind of help, government or otherwise, is so isolating. How do you get better when there is something to stop you every step of the way?

Nobody wants to “deal” with someone who has disabilities, because they make other people feel uncomfortable by being alive. They’d rather just sweep them under the rug. And the ones who do try to give advice are so privileged, and don’t even know it. It feels like people would rather condemn others than show kindness

(slightly reformatted to fit on instagram)