narutothoughts

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ok but if wolves are dangerous predators then why am i so soft hm

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Crying laughing bc kakashi’s instincts are probably caught up in a horny feedback loop that’s like “Need Mate! —> Court mate —> Mate not acknowledging interest! —> COURT HARDER” all the way until it has gone so far past courtship it’s basically sexual harassment (except Naruto is just completely unaware)

Thank god kakashi is hokage bc the shinobi HR department would have killed him for all the complaints they’ve gotten

KakaNaru headcanons (ABO edition)

I have so been slacking on posting lately SO

-I like to imagine that Naruto is a beta. I feel like that's the truest to his canon character. In a lotta ways, he simply doesn't give a fuck, and to him, people are all people. Him being a beta, not able to detect scents and thus not really giving a damn about people's biology, makes total sense to me.

-In contrast, I feel like Kakashi is definitely an alpha, but one who's kind of repressed and has never had any real interest in anyone. Until like, uh... Now.

-Kakashi is like the alpha of all alphas. He's hot, he's strong, he's capable, he's healthy, and he's generally kind. He's a catch. He smells great, big hands, abs for days. People are going to want that cookie.

-I feel like Naruto hits about 19-20 and starts shadowing Kakashi to learn more about being Hokage, and it kind of starts then. Everything else was a whirlwind of Naruto being off with Jiraiya, and then Sasuke, and Pein, and the Akatsuki, and the War. Kakashi finally gets to really know Naruto and be known in return, and it sets off a trigger. Flips a switch, if you will.

-It starts slow— betas have very mild scents, if they have one at all. They don't detect the pheromones of other sub genders. So when Kakashi's interest starts to hesitantly peek it's head out, Naruto doesn't notice.

-He also doesn't notice when Kakashi starts violently scenting him either, but that happens a bit later.

-At first, Kakashi 100% tried to talk himself out of it and failed. He just helplessly fell into this gradual obsession that soon transformed into primal want as his feelings deepened. He literally cannot stop himself. He's tried, he's failed, and Naruto has no fucking clue.

-Kakashi could realistically have anyone in the village— especially any omega— but no. Doesn't even spare them a glance. Instead he gets stuck on this complete moron who doesn't even have a scent, let alone the means to scent anyone else

-It's super atypical for an alpha to have any attraction towards a beta, and nearly unheard of for it to be this strong. Biology just naturally drives them to reproduce with their opposites— omegas. Count on Kakashi to deny the odds.

-Being a Hatake, he's got a souped up nose. Everyone has a unique smell by default, underneath all the hormones. Naruto's isn't necessarily a pheromone scent, but it does exist. And Kakashi can't get enough.

-Kakashi sees a few people flirt with Naruto and subtly scents him before he can stop himself, folding to the territorial anxiety that tries to attack him. But once he realizes Naruto has no way of noticing Kakashi scented him, he starts... abusing the privilege. Without telling Naruto what he's doing.

-Naruto reeks of Kakashi's scent before long. It's like a giant cloud, telling anyone and everyone who can pick up on it to back off. Peripherally, witnesses are both fascinated and horrified.

-Naruto is too oblivious to give a fuck. He's studying to become the next Hokage. Is it weird that Kakashi has begun rubbing his wrists on him and finding more and more ways to be in physical contact with him? Sure, maybe, but he's also never had a steady healthy relationship in his life. Maybe this is normal.

-Naruto also hasn't spent a lot of quality time with alphas, and he knows Kakashi is one. He kinda chalks it up to normal secondary gender behavior and goes about his day.

-Kakashi escalates to scenting Naruto's apartment too and it becomes this beacon in the village every alpha and omega avoids because it's so suffocating. Unfortunately, Naruto lives smack dab in the middle of a very busy area, one that is quickly and inconveniently vacated once Kakashi claims it as his "territory"

-Naruto when he notices half the shops on his street have closed, he has no neighbors anymore, and his walk home is quieter: 👁️👁️

-Kakashi has spent his entire life toning his scent down. Now, it billows out like a damn chimney every time he so much as glances at Naruto. He wants him BAD and he CANNOT control it. He isn't even sure he wants to. Naruto can't smell it, so why bother? He's been through too much shit to feel shame.

-(Jumpcut to Kurama, who can smell it and is just like "what the hell 🧍")

-Sakura and Shikamaru stand by as horrified witnesses to what's unfolding. They're both betas too but they're also not blind, Kakashi is like the least subtle person on planet earth. He's not even trying to hide it.

-Kakashi spending all his free time following Naruto around, blatantly growling at anyone he perceives as a threat, bringing Naruto food, bringing him nesting items (betas don't even nest, dawg), cleaning his apartment, scenting his clothes, making Naruto wear his.

-Naruto still wouldn't catch on either.

-Alternatively, Kurama manned up and explained it and Naruto just shrugged it off

-"Oh yeah well, he probably has a reason, Kurama. I'm sure he'd like bring it up or something if it was serious, believe it."

-Like the reason is he wants you carnally, bro

-Idk the idea of minding his own business loving life beta!Naruto combined with about to go insane and about to drive the village insane because he wants Naruto so bad alpha!Kakashi is just so fucking funny to me

-The comedic potential is through the roof. EVERYONE would know. Except Naruto. Everyone would be wondering why Naruto. Kakashi has his pick of the damn town and this is who his kinda dormant instincts landed on and came out full force for

-Kakashi letting himself be a full on, hormone driven, obnoxious, territorial, aggressive alpha for the first time all for one (read: a singular) beta dumbass who literally does not perceive his actions as out of the ordinary or special

-An omega would croon at the posturing. Naruto doesn't even see it (it's maddening and it just makes Kakashi want him more let's be real)

-But anyway YAY I don't write or even read a lot of ABO but this sounded hilarious to me 10/10 would write

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I can deal with any flavor of Omegaverse you throw at me but i refuse to read “omega prime” shit. My one line

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Kknr au where Naruto tries to hide something (book or scroll or document) from kakashi and when he asks what it is Naruto just blurts out “ITS PORN” so he’ll back off

But it’s kakashi so he is

1) interested in his bf reading erotica or looking at dirty pics without him

2) aware it’s absolutely not now that Naruto said it was

3) intent on fucking with Naruto always

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Modern Kknr au where Naruto accidentally becomes a cult leader (except not rly) and kakashi, depressed son of a bitch that needs to be given purpose in life, shows up at his front door like pls pls pls make me one of ur wives 🙏

Meanwhile Naruto is like???? Because he kinda just had a lot of land he inherited. And one of his friends asked if he could move in with him so he was like lol sure. And then someone else asked to move in so he was like yeah ok. And so on until he has like 2,000 besties living on his property in a village thing where he’s just kinda like a weirdly fair landlord that gives good advice

But Naruto takes one look at the wet mess at his doorstep and is like how about you become my only wife *monogamous eyebrow wiggle* and kakashi’s like !!!!

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"Your love language is what you were deprived of as a child" actually no you're allowed to want, prefer and like things without everything tracing back to some dormant unprocessed trauma. You can just say you want to bounce on it without having to explain how as a child you always wanted - but never got - a trampoline.

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If they arent close enough that every new person they meet doesn’t take one look at how they move around each other and think they’re fucking nasty what’s even the point

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I want ANBU Naruto to be sworn in during kakashi’s rule bc I neeeeeeed his oaths to be some gay shit so bad.

Some “I will follow my Kage wherever he leads, be it the battlefield or the road of peace. I will gladly serve in whatever capacity is asked of me, to the very best of my abilities, until my heart no longer beats. I am yours to command and your will is my own” type shit

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Apocalypse kknr au where kakashi gets turned into to a zombie and Naruto—fundamentally unwell—just keeps him on a leash and hunts people for him to eat.

They were into pet play before everything went to shit, so it’s not even like Naruto had to get a new collar and muzzle for this.

Kakashi will always be his good boy, zombie or not.

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modern au where sasuke and naruto are both on a reality tv show where they compete for an engagement to some rich lady (and a shit ton of money)

The entire time they say the most vile awful no good dirty rotten things about each other, both to each others faces and in the confessionals. If there has ever been drama on a tv show, it’s on this one and they’re the ones bringing it allll

But of course they’re also fan favorites and too intimidating for anyone else to get into it with, so they both make it to the finale.

Naruto ultimately wins bc sasuke was the only one he was a bitch to while sasuke was a bitch to everyone and their grandmothers.

But at the end of the tv show, they have a one yr later segment that shows Naruto and sasuke living in a huge house together (prize and divorce $$) with a pet fox and two cats.

There’s an interview portion where they’re like lmao yeah I told him he was hot on day one so we planned all the fights and drama out so we could make sure we made it to the end together and got the most money for our time. We were fucking the whole time too.

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Sasuke kicked out of the Naruto polycule by popular vote

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Yesterday I was scrolling Tumblr and saw this cute little art by @sanska (it's linked below)

And it made me want to draw baby Tobirama with his first ever snow leopard (they found him and are adopting him until he is old enough to sign a contract) he was sneaking out of the compound again and so they had to take him home with them.

So anyway this little art is for you @sanska ❤️ hope you like it

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Me reading a Naruto fic with major character death tags: shit, why are we killing all our gays

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Au where Naruto and Yamato are both omegas and share their heats together and Alpha kakashi—suddenly interested in both of them—is slowly driven insane by thoughts of what they do together. Their mixed smell proving they did all of it and more does NOT help his self control.

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Absolutely inspired by the kakashi thing I just reblogged and just,,,

Kakashi that isn’t actually well liked by his peers

Kakashi that comes off as standoffish and rude and too much all at once

Kakashi who is skilled enough to get away with it all

Kakashi who is resented for the allowances made for him bc of his skill

Kakashi who is still thought of as his fathers son—the man who started the war with a failed mission

Kakashi who is thought to be so against his fathers actions that when presented with his teams life vs the mission, he actively killed Rin to prove he was different. Actively let obito die.

Kakashi who can read porn in public and arrive late, but is still a bit of that shitty little kid that recited the shinobi rule book

Kakashi who’s seen as strict and militant.

Kakashi who gets judgement for what he teaches his team and how he treats them

Kakashi who knows his team is thought of as different. Other. For being trained by him. And not necessarily in a good way.

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naruto / gaara based on Naruto finding gaara’s hair (fur) particularly attractive bc the fox part of his brain is like !!!healthy coat!!!!!