neondisgrace

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I received a phone call today from the police in NM. They found my grandmother's mummified remains in her home. Trying to process while trying to distract myself.

I love her so much.

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Oh Tumblr. How I've missed you. The Void hasn't taken me.

Yet.

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Do you ever just feel like you're done? Just... done. Done caring. Done feeling. Done.

A pit in my stomach is made better by scratches on my arm. God I'm a waste.

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I want to be heard, not hurt.

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I'm going to feel pretty at some point, right?

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Staying up late and hiding in another room and crying is normal, right?

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Mmmmmm insomnia. I want to sleep, but I'm strangely afraid too. On one level I know it's from the nightmares I've been having, and on another I have this strange fear that I'm going to be attacked in my sleep.

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"But, the same moon, you see, found us two/The pouring rain is gently wrapping it/In this world there is only one place which can't be replaced/Only you! You're my only home, under the same sky." - Leah Dizon "Under the Same Sky"

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I live for these days: Cold temps, RAIN, a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea.

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"The tide is high but I'm holdin' on/I'm gonna be your number one/I'm not the kinda girl who gives up just like that, oh no" - Blondie

I don't give up because I never even try 🤷‍♀️

[neondisgrace]

If Hara is a "whore"

Then so am I.

[neondisgrace]

That moment when you realize that you spend the waking hours of the day counting the minutes until you can go to sleep and escape the world.