nigenaide - Tumblr blog

[nigenaide]

practicing self care isn't enough i want to collapse a building with my mind

[nigenaide]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[nigenaide]

by Comicname

👍

[nigenaide]

fanfic alignments

[nigenaide]

me, piling more blankets on top of my already weighted one in bed: if i am not crushed by the weight of my own comfort i will Die

[nigenaide]

ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.

[nigenaide]

[nigenaide]

2021/十三機兵

[nigenaide]

Umitober Day 30 - Thanks for all people

[nigenaide]

Wishing my goth followers a very pleasant double xp event

[nigenaide]

Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

[nigenaide]

Hordak to the rescue 📵🙌

[nigenaide]

Thesis: you can tell which people have a lousy sense of spatial relationships based on how intensely they hate water levels in Legend of Zelda games.

[nigenaide]

if there’s one self-care skill I really wish fans would develop – especially fans of continuing media, where you get into a thing before it’s finished – it’s the ability to say “this is no longer the story I wanted it to be” and walk away

(and I am not exempting myself from this! there are definitely periods in my past media engagement which would have been less negative for my mental health if I’d been able to do this, rather than banging my head in increasing frustration as the story veered further and further away from what I had always thought its arc was supposed to be.)

you gotta marie kondo this shit. if the story no longer sparks joy for you, then let it go. and you can grieve for that! that loss of potential, that happiness you might once have had with it. you can be frustrated and sad and bitch about it in your group chat. but you have to let it go.

because the alternative is trying to force the creator to change course to comply with your  vision and historically? the success rate of that is very, very low, and far more statistically likely to result in the destruction of the thing entirely. which might sound tempting and satisfying in those moments of frustration but in the end, honestly, is not going to make you any happier. (and is definitely  going to make other people  unhappier.)

what will make you happier is finding some other story that is more like what you wanted. because it’s a vast vast world out there, and people are creating stories and media faster than ever. yes, even queer media, yes, even PoC driven/led media. no one person will ever be able to consume them all. find something out there that brings you joy, that is the story you wanted. and the rest? let go.

[nigenaide]

Linktober day 3 - doorway

[nigenaide]

someone, reading my writing: wow great story!

me, sticking my hands in the plotholes: thanks it has pockets :)

[nigenaide]

One thing I really like about how Murderbot relates to gender is how like--no wait, two things, in order.

So first how it is emphatically devoted to eschewing human gender categories. Like, it's not a default thing; there are shown to be multiple nonbinary pronouns in routine use, and life would be simpler for picking one or even making a new one up, just as it would be for picking a name that it is willing to use in public.

But that's a human thing, those are human categories, and it has that deep determination not to naturalize into humanity just because that would be simpler, would smooth the ugly edges between the categories of person and non-person and make an easier, more convenient story for other people.

But then also there's the part where the two construct genders are, effectively, 'cop' and 'prostitute,' as distinguished at construction per Murderbot's own account by genital configuration, in this case 'having' or 'not having' 'sex parts.'

Leaving aside how easily that analogizes to human gender categories for the average reader, which I'm sure was an intentional writing move--Murderbot's assigned gender is, in a meaningful sense, 'SecUnit.'

And what's neat, and what I was going for to begin with only I had to set out my thoughts first for context, is how Murderbot actually performs its assigned gender pretty emphatically!

But in a deeply queer way, that only gains a sense of meaning as it's able to detach the performance from service to the oppressive power structures that created it, and redefine the identity on its own terms.