nobutwhydoievenneedaurl

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

Being a DM is so hard I wanna show my party my campaign so bad but it‘s not finished yet and I don‘t wanna gatekeep any longer!! Also I have grown extremely attached to my NPCs that will literally never appear again after this campaign but they are everything to me right now.

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

not to hate BUT straight girlies will listen to hozier and think „ah yes. this is something a man can give me.“ like..?? be honest with yourself darling and look at your boyfriend. and then tell me again that he will ever treat you in a way that would even remotely compare to the way hozier sings about women.

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

best part about the minecraft movie was the gay thing Steve and Garett had going on by far

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

Eurylochos turning against Odysseus has the flavour of a shepherd‘s dog turning against his master. He bites because there has been too much blood, too much loss, too many sheep sacrificed to wolves by a man he once followed blindly.

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

On normal days my house is just a house. On other days the bricks around me are bones, the wood that surrounds me is the flesh, and I am but a little creature that has crawled into the guts of a living thing, surrounded by stiff meat and electrical blood pumping through veins of every colour, I am digested and defeated and totally demolished but I let it, because it is my home. Even though I never made it, I never built it, it‘s mine, I inhabit it like the maggot that reigns king over its fleshy land, that makes what was once a lump of death, discoloured and disdained, a place where life is buzzing and squirming and crawling. My hand touches the wall and I feel it breathing.

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

impossible to explain Small Town Culture to city folks. like yeah. that‘s my home. it‘s lonely and sleepy and sometimes I despise it but have you ever felt as alive in a city as you are in a forest. have you ever actually lived if you have always lived in a city.

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

Turns out I have astigmatism, visual snow, am short-sighted AND this all correlates with my migraine😔

what do you mean your vision is supposed to be clear, doctor. what does normal eyesight even mean.

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

what do you mean your vision is supposed to be clear, doctor. what does normal eyesight even mean.

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

Fourth time now I've tried to propose to my wife and has gone horribly wrong first I put the engagement ring in the wine glass she drank that next time I tried putting it in the cake she ate that at the last point I decided to give it to the waiter to give to her she still ate him too like I've lost so much money but God what a woman

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

hate how funny the people here are. god you make stupid puns n then I laugh about them like an IDIOT

got turned down for the job at the onion. turns out they write satire or something and don't need a guy to peel all the onions. crying my eyes out.

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

puki what movies have you been watching

please don't make fun of me

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

the fire really said burn the rich huh

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

Proud to say this is the first thing that came up on my dash today.

i get into a horrific car accident while carrying a crock pot full of meatballs in the passenger seat. at the hospital, the surgeons cannot sort out which chunks of meat are me and which are not, so I end up with several meatballs sewn into my guts. despite this I make a full recovery, and they elect not to remove the meatballs because quote 'they seem comfy in there.' i go on the talk show circuit and become moderately famous as The Meatballs Woman. when i die i am buried under a gravestone with meatballs carved on it. in the year 2438, a grad student from what is now Cambodia who is studying the late pre-collapse American Empire writes her thesis on this, concluding that I probably never existed and was a conflation of several real stories and urban legends. years later, a pop-history book wildly misinterprets this and several other things, arguing for the existence of a historic American religious pantheon including figures like The Meatballs Woman, Florida Man, Emperor Norton, etc. this book sells bizarrely well and inspires a new neo-pagan movement, which in turn leads to a weird shipping community, resulting in a small but vibrant scene of ABO fics featuring me and MrBeast (who in this context has been interpreted as a god of excess and trickery)

this chilling scenario is only one of the multiple reasons I am going to attempt to not crash my car today

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

anyone else notice that (for non-native english speakers), YouTube has started to translate not only video titles, but also literally the videos themselves? literally had a jump-scare reaction, have not felt so repulsed in a while

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

the stars are so beautiful tonight

uh hey guys i‘m pretty sure something just knocked on my roof-top window twice so uh i’ll be right back hopefully

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

uh hey guys i‘m pretty sure something just knocked on my roof-top window twice so uh i’ll be right back hopefully

[nobutwhydoievenneedaurl]

𝔄 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔫𝔱 𝔞𝔫𝔡

𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔲𝔞𝔤𝔢

𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔬𝔢𝔪

𝔟𝔢𝔥𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔰𝔬 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔪'𝔯𝔢

𝔰𝔬𝔭𝔥𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱'𝔡

𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔢 𝔱'𝔰 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔞 𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔥'𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔱