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[nomoreusername]

The Plan (Part 4)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:As you both think Aris will keep being distant, he finds his way to your tent late at night.

Blondie nights were something with so many mixed emotions now. While they used to be my everything, the only day of the month that used to occupy my mind, I kind of pretend that they don't exist. It's just that Aris didn't show up for them, and I didn't want to push it. At all. He lets me hold his hand now though so that's better. 

I think so.

Staying in my tent, I kept reading the love letters that he used to write. It was weird, because they always left my chest feeling heavy but my heart feeling kind of light and my head feeling fuzzy. It's like they sort of made my eyes sting, because I knew he wouldn't write another one for a while, but it wasn't something I had expected. I know it's wrong to think everything would just keep being the way it was, and I don't, but I can miss it. I should be able to miss everything that we were before this.

I hope so.

Right?

As I was tracing my fingers over his handwriting, getting every curve and line on my skin, I heard a light tap on the fabric of my tent. Glancing up, I set the letters beside the sleeping bag and crawled over to unzip it. Feeling a cold breeze hit my face, I didn't have time to react when I felt arms around me. Recognizing his touch more than anything I owned, I clung back as he buried his face in my neck.

“Are you okay?”I whispered, daring to break the silence.

“Yes? No? I don't know right now,”He admitted. 

“That's okay. You don't have to,”I assured him. 

“Can I come in? Please?”

“Always,”I promised, letting go. He sat beside me as I zipped my tent back up, muffling the noise from outside that I didn't realize had been there. 

Looking at him, I met his gaze as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. Still in his night clothes with tousled hair, he appeared to have just gotten up. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”I offered.

“No,”He shook his head.

“What do you need?”

“You,”He answered without skipping a beat. 

“From me though? What do you need from me?”I whispered.

“Just you. Just to stay the night, beside you, and see that you're here, and be able to look at you, and hear your voice,”He listed.

“Then, I’m right here. I’m always here,”I promised. 

“I know.”

It was the wrong time, but I felt this weight from my shoulders get a little lighter at his words. Since I couldn't say that though, I just decided to move their letters back to the small bag in the corner of the tent, purposely holding the paper longer than required. 

“Are those?”He asked as I turned back around. Not even needing to hear the rest of the question, I nodded. 

Apparently, this was the wrong response as his eyes filled with more tears. 

“I’m sorry,”I apologized, though I didn't actually know how I messed up. When he didn't say anything I moved closer and put my hand on his knee. 

“Don't let me be cold. I don't want to be cold to you anymore,”He whispered.

“You had every right to be,”I reminded him.

“I know, but I didn't want to be.”

Taking his hand, I ran my thumbs over his knuckles before letting him cry on my shoulder. Feeling his tears drip onto my night shirt, I had to hold back my own.

“Lay with me, and you can tell me whatever you want. I’ll listen,”I reassured him, opening his palm and almost pressing my lips to his skin before not knowing if it was okay. Just as I was about to lower his hand, he held my face and brushed his lips against mine. While it barely lasted a second, it was a blissful eternity as it was our first one since the incident.

“I want you to touch me like you used to. I need to know that we're not ruined forever. Please?”

Cupping his face, I kissed his temple the way I had wanted to for so long. Pulling away, I saw the ghost of a smile on his face as his tears dried on his cheeks. Taking my thumbs, I wiped them away until the only sign of the way he had cried were his glassy eyes.

“Let's head to bed. We don't have to sleep, but it’s good to try,”I whispered. Grabbing the sleeping bag, I arranged it to be in the middle like it used to be and opened it. Putting it flat, I laid down with him still in my arms.

“Tell me everything,”I repeated as I rubbed circles on his shoulder.

“I had this dream that I was with all these people. They were wearing suits and lab coats with the words WCKD stitches on in gold letters like it was something to be proud of. There were monitors and things that just didn't make sense. There were pictures of the Maze and names on screens and faces I didn't know. Then, I looked close to see that one of them was me. It was my own reflection, and I was one of them. The worst part though, was that I looked so apathetic to everything that was going on. What if I was? What if I was actually one of the people who put us here? What if I am as bad as you all thought?”

“Nobody would need to know that,”I pointed out.

“What if your plan was right though? What if I really am . . . bad?”He trailed off.

“That plan was stupid. You're here, and nothing is going to change that. It is what it is so we need to make the best of it.”

“But there would be no best of it. It would be because of me. Do you understand? I could have been one of them,”He repeated.

“I don't care what you were. If we found out that was true I would do everything so nobody else would. I will protect you from anyone and anything that tries to come near you. You are safe with me. No matter what you did, you will always be safe in my arms.”

“And if I was bad?”He repeated.

“Then, I guess I’m in love with someone who was bad.”

“You would have every right to leave though. You would have every right to be cold.”

“And would you stay? If I did do that?”

“Yes. Without a doubt.”

“Then, I’ll stay. I have, haven't I? I wasn't going to leave.”

“How long until you left?”

“I read your love letters every night, Aris. There are twelve. Each of them is written in black pen on slightly off white paper. In the very top left corner you put the date. The three holes are on the left as well. In the bottom right there are page numbers. The first one you gave me is page fifty. The last one is page one hundred and seven. You put full circles to top your i’s. You always dot the question marks too. Instead of crossing it out when you mess up you write the letter you meant over it. My name always has a small heart next to it no matter where it is. Do you understand? I can recite every word in every one. Does it sound like I was going to leave?”

He was silent for a long time, and I didn't break it. We just laid there, side by side, the way we used to, the way that I had craved, as we held each other as tightly as possible. 

It still wasn't the same though.

It was just a little stronger.

[nomoreusername]

The Plan (Part 3)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:Despite the hate Aris seems to show you, you both know that there will always be more under it.

I wish I could say that I had regained my senses enough to wake up and walk back to my tent. Instead, I did the exact opposite and sobbed in the snow until I passed out.

That's why I have no idea how I woke up in my tent, tucked into my sleeping bag the way I always was. Only one person had ever slept beside me, and he was the last person who would take me home.

But he also shouldn't be. I screwed up. I really, really screwed up, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know if I can.

While it's not all her fault, I can't comprehend why Beth did that. I hadn't done anything to her (that I could remember), and even if I did that was worse than anything I was even capable of.

Staying still, I stared at the tent wall as I debated never leaving. After last night how was I expected to be around him without apologizing a thousand different ways a thousand times over? How was I iust supposed to go to the gardens like this has all been some nightmare that I would wake up from any second now?

Taking a breath, I wiped a tear that I somehow was still able to I cry before going back and forth with the options in my head. On one hand, I didn't know how to face him after he discovered the truth. On the other, I couldn't just pretend that he didn't exist. I honestly didn't want to. I was the one who destroyed us. Not him.

Which means that I have to be the one to fix this no matter the cost. Because he was worth more than whatever it could be. More than any material item, my pride, my ego, or even whatever might have mattered to me in the past.

I had to fix this.

I just don't know where to start.

♡ - - - ♡

The hours had passed by. While I had assumed finding some way to talk to Aris would be no problem, it only became evident how wrong I was towards the end of the day. Then again, that's also my fault. It's like the second my eyes land on him I forgot how to speak, and I can't fix us if I don't even know how to say hi.

So I stared at him from a distance, praying that he would look up for just a moment and meet my eyes the way he used to. Yet somehow he was always able to dodge my gaze.

He hates me. He actually hates me.

I know that this shouldn't really surprise me, but I'm still sure that someone was kneeing me in the gut. I need him to just look at me. Just for a moment. I need to talk to him. I need to figure out what to say.

I need him.

I need Aris.

But as I stared at him for just a moment, I always turned my head before I could truly take him in the way I wanted. I know it was cowardice, but the thought of speaking to him after what I did, the thought of him telling me that he didn't want to see me, shattered my heart into pieces that don't fit together.

So I don't know what was wrong with me, but as I saw him walk away from the eating area my feet had a mind of their own as they followed him. Acting like nobody else existed, I didn't speak as I tried to think of what I should say. Still, every word in my mind was jumbled as I kept going after him through the forest.

I don't know where he was going, but he seemed determined to be away from the world. Just as I thought he would decide he was far enough he would pick his head up and go forward. That meant I had to do the same.

Walking past frozen bushes and fallen tree branches, he wrapped his scarf around him and pulled his jacket tighter. I wanted to beg him to just turn around, but my throat seemed to have swelled up. So we kept going and going and going until he was as isolated as you could get.

Standing in front of the shed nobody went in, he looked up at it like he knew something that nobody else did. Putting his hand on the doorknob, he went to open it so I stepped closer. Too immersed in being anywhere near his presence, I didn't realize that I had done the cliche step on a stick move until the snap echoed through the dead air.

Turning around, he saw me standing there in the open. We both stared at each other before I found the ability to speak.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't believe me, and you have every right not to. You have every right to not want to see me, but I can't not try,"I rushed out.

"Congratulations. Did you get a callback for that performance?"He deadpanned, crossing his arms as he looked right past me.

"I don't know how to say it enough. I don't know if anything could go back to what it was, if we could get back what we had, but I can't live knowing I didn't do everything possible to earn your trust and love. I may not deserve it, but I swear if you let me prove how much you mean to me I'll love you right. I won't lie to you ever again, but I just need a second chance. Please, I am pleading for you to to just give me one more chance, and I'll do everything that I should have from the beginning. Please let me prove myself. Please Aris, please,"I begged, not looking away as I stepped towards him.

"Calm down, Y/N. You can save it for the addition. I'm sure you'll be the lead,"He scoffed.

"Aris-"

"Go show off your acting skills to someone who wants to see them. I'm done with you,"He whispered, walking inside the shed.

"Please. You weren't supposed to find out like that,"I repeated, still following him.

"Apparently, I wasn't supposed to find out at all,"He mumbled.

"Okay. You're right, but-"

"Wow. Who could have thought you'd ever lie to me,"He muttered.

"If you just-"

"I came her to get away from everyone. You know when I thought one of you was going to kill me in my sleep or something this was my hiding spot? I'd be here until someone found me the next morning. Because that's what you all did. I didn't feel safe in my home. Do you know how screwed up that is?"

"It is, and we should have given you a chance. You deserved one,"I nodded, breaking my gaze.

"Yeah. I know."

"Aris-"

"What part of I'm done with you don't you understand? You can't fix this, Y/N. You will never be able to fix us. No matter how many times you try you ruined everything. Not Beth. You. You are the one who carried out the plan. You are the one who tricked me. You are the one who kissed me as if we weren't built on lies. You are the who would tell me how much I meant to you. You are the one who was supposed to love me. But I didn't mean enough for you to tell me everything. You didn't love or trust me enough to tell me yourself. I would have been hurt and maybe a little mad, but I would at least try to understand. I would have listened to you and know you cared enough to be honest. It's not even what you did. It's that the leader of my hate club told me first. I asked you what she was talking about, and you didn't have the guts to admit what you did,"He listed. I stared at the floor as more shame bubbled up in m stomach.

"Look at me. Look at me after breaking my heart,"He demanded.

"I can't-"

"Look me in the face. Look me in my eyes after being so cold. Look at me."

"I-"

"Look me in the face. If you can lie to my face you can look at me to see what you did."

"I'm sorry,"I promised, forcing my voice steady.

"You know what? I was an idiot for loving you. An idiot."

"No. You don't mean that. I know you're hurt, and I know that you're angry, but please don't act like we meant nothing. Please don't pretend we didn't have anything. Tell me how much you hate me but take that back. It's not true. It's not."

"I think it's truer than anything about our relationship."

"No. We were something special. We had something."

"I can't deal with you,"He repeated, going to walk past me. In a split moment a strong gust of wind went through the shed before slamming the door shut. With wide eyes, he started pulling at the doorknob before pushing on the wood. Banging on it, he kept trying to force it open until he winced and pulled his hand back. Daring to turn on the light, I saw the little pieces of wood under his skin.

"Let me see,"I requested, my old Medic instincts kicking in. To my thankfulness and surprise he slowly put his hand out. Looking at it, I saw a few in his palms and fingertips. Glancing around, I spotted the back-up first aid kid.

"This should be quick. Just try now to move,"I instructed, holding open his hand. Sitting directly under the light, I got the tweezers and started what had once been so natural to me.

Finding one, as I pulled it out I saw him wince again.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying to be gentle,"I promised.

"Yeah. I know,"He nodded.

From there we sat in complete silence as I examined ever inch of his hands. From the obvious ones on his palms, to his fingertips, to the sides, I didn't allow myself to miss a single one. Only when I was sure of it did I put away the kit.

"Why do you do that?"He whispered as I found its original spot.

"Do what?"

"Make it so hard to hate you? Why do you do that?"

"I don't know. I'm not trying to be."

"That makes it worse."

"I'm sorry,"I repeated, sitting on the floor across from him. Moving against the door, we sat with that invisible wall that I couldn't figure out how to break.

The atmosphere had never been more tense. Then again that was a given. Even though he realized us getting locked in together wasn't part of a plan (I hope) there were just a lot of things to say, but neither of us seemed to be capable of words.

♡ - - - ♡

"Was it worth it?"He suddenly whispered.

"Which part?"

"Playing me to find out the truth? Was it worth it?"He clarified.

"No,"I answered.

"So this was all for nothing then?"

"I do love you, okay? I've never told you, but I do. So much more than I could or knew how to say. So I just didn't. I never told you all of the things that I should have, that you deserved to know, because it was easier to pretend it was all fine. Because I knew that I would lose you, and I know it's selfish, but I couldn't risk that. I would do anything but let you go, and that was more than wrong. I never meant to fall for you, and I never meant for you to end up hurt. I didn't realize how good you actually are until it was too late. The plan was already over with. I knew that, but I dragged it on for as long as possible just to stay with you a little longer. I made excuse after excuse until having to come clean. Until admitting there was nothing off but I couldn't just leave, because I was completely in love with you which is messed up, but it's the truth. I just wanted us to survive whatever happened, no matter what, because I am so stupidly in love with you. Even if you don't think so, I am. I'll love you until the end of time even if you don't. Then, I'll love you beyond that. You mean everything, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that. I'm sorry for being too much of a coward to say what you deserved to hear, to tell you everything. Even if you don't believe it, which I don't blame you for, it's the truth. That is the full truth,"I spilled, holding back tears.

"Please don't cry. It's so hard to be mad at you when you cry,"He whispered.

"I'm sorry,"I repeated.

"What you did was really messed up."

"I know."

"It really hurt. More than anything anyone else did,"He admitted, taking a shaky breath as he met my eyes. "But the worst part is that I still care about you. I think. If the person I was with actually is you, I don't know how to not feel something around you. Even if I really don't want to. Even though I shouldn't. I know that I shouldn't care about you the way that I do. I know that it's not good to want someone who hurt you. I know that I'm not supposed to think about you the way that I do, but I can't get you off of my mind. I'm trying, but apparently I'm not good at knowing what's bad for me. Because my mind knows not to want you, but my heart doesn't. It's smart to just forget about you, but I also don't want to. You were the first comfort that I had, and even if it wasn't meant to be true, I can't just let go of you after that. So the worst part of all of this is knowing that I can't stop loving you even after what you did,"He confessed, not taking his eyes off of me as they filled with tears.

"I'm sorry, Aris. I'm sorry,"I whispered.

"Y/N, be honest. What we had, when was it real? When did you actually fall?"He asked.

"I don't know when, but I know how it built up. I know that somehow my thoughts were consumed by you until I found myself falling asleep to the thought of seeing you the next day. I realized that I constantly thought of the boy I was supposed to be playing and instead of thinking anything about that, I smiled. It was like that stupid plan didn't exist as long as you were around. Then, when you left, there was just this pit of guilt in my stomach that I swore was going to make me throw up. I found myself looking for you across the Spring and wanting to be with you instead of my friends on Blondie night. I tried to tell myself that it was all pretend, but when people kept reminding me that I could let go of the plan I denied that being true. Soon, when I couldn't lie to anyone, I couldn't lie to myself. I knew that I loved you. I do love you."

He was silent for a long time. Staying completely still, neither of us even seemed to be breathing as we stared at each other. Every now and then I would hold myself back from wiping the tears from his eyes.

After another shaky breath he moved next to me. Holding out my hand, I silently begged for him to hold it.

Staring at it, then me, he shook his head no. Nodding in understanding, I put it down. Leaning closer, I froze as he put his head on my shoulder and pulled his knees to his chest. After regaining the ability to move I dared to put my hand on his knee. This time, he didn't object to the small act of affection, but I didn't push it. He was near me in some way, just barely letting me touch him, and that would have to be enough for a long time.

When I earned his trust back maybe, just maybe, he would let me do more.

[nomoreusername]

you have several fics and I want to read them all 😭😭‼️‼️

Thank you.I update what's acceptable to every website that I can just so more people can read them so it makes me really happy when anyone likes them <3

[nomoreusername]

The Plan (Part 2)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary: Despite what he knows Aris is conflicted on how to truly let you go.

I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe that Y/N could do that to me.

She had told me herself though. I was nothing more than a plan.

It was depressing really. Now that I look back on it, it's so obvious that she hadn't just grown feelings for me. The change in attitude from a few girls, the way we always ended up as alone as you could get, and how she seemed so interested in everything I said, should have been a huge red flag, but no. Instead, I just decided that she actually felt something for me. I thought that she actually was different and would get to know me and who I am, my morals and beliefs, the things I like and don't, before deciding whether or not I deserve to die. I thought that I had actually meant something to her. I thought she cared about me.

She says she does now, but I don't believe her. I can't. Even if I did, what next? We just move on from the fact that she was just as bad as basically everyone else?

Actually, no. She's worse. I had fallen so deeply in love, and she used that to her advantage.

She's not just cold.

She's heartless.

The fact that I know all of this and am still carrying her back to her tent is pathetic. I could easily wake her up so she wouldn't die of frostbite. Instead, I had her in my arms, curled up to my chest.

I have never hated snow so much before. Not until it meant her needing to be near me.

Of course, that's sort of an excuse. Like I said earlier. I could just wake her. I didn't have to carry her bridal style to her place.

I was though, and I have never felt like more of an idiot doing something good. At least when I was with her I didn't know she was a master manipulator. Now that I did, with me still caring, the pain’s probably on me now.

It actually all is. I blindly loved her and didn’t spot what she was thinking when she acted like she did.

It kills me even more that the very first time she said those three words was after I found out our entire relationship was built upon lies.

But whatever. I’ll just keep holding her until I can't. It's all fine. Everything is fine. I’m fine.

As I approached her already opened tent I felt tears pour down my face. Ignoring them, I ducked my head and entered the place I had spent so much time in.

Holding my breath, I tucked her into her sleeping bag, making sure she was on her side the way she always slept. With her tears shining like dying stars through the dark, she was almost blinding to look out. There were too many things to take in. Too many small details and unwanted, maybe real, emotions.

Looking at my feet to avoid those, I spotted a small paper. Picking it up, I saw my handwriting.

A letter.

A stupid love letter I had given her a few nights ago.

Picking it up, I crumpled it into a ball before throwing it on the ground. Glaring at it, I pretended it was her through my blurry vision. Wiping more tears with the back of my hand I actually gave her a cold look before saying one last thing.

“It's not like it meant anything to you anyway,”I spat. Stepping over it on the way out, I zipped her tent and stormed to mine, of course being just a little further away than everyone else's.

Because screw me, right? Because I definitely asked to be here? Because I definitely didn't spend my first month here sobbing my eyes out every chance I got because of how alone I was?

At least when they were all adjusting to their home and wondering how they got here, if they did something wrong, if they were being punished, if they were meant for something, or if they were dangerous, they had each other. They could just ask for help from someone. And what did I get? People talking about whether or not to send me to die, right in front of me.

I hate this place! I hate all of them! I hate her! I especially hate her!

Without bothering to close it, I fell on the floor of my tent and sobbed like it was the first night all over again.

[nomoreusername]

The Plan (Part 1)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:After months of hiding how everything started, Beth tells Aris the truth about your relationship.

It was an accident. Kind of. I knew that playing with his feelings was wrong, but at the time there wasn't another choice. For some reason, he was the only boy so we needed to know if he was up to something. We thought that maybe he was a spy, but we couldn't prove it. We also couldn't just banish him without evidence, and he sure as hell wasn't just going to talk to us anytime soon.

So a plan was made. I would become his girlfriend and find out what he knew.

It took a few months, around two, to notice him acting differently around me. To catch him looking at me before frantically turning away, tripping over his words, and overall just being barely a little closer to me.

At around three months we realized he wasn't going to make the first move. So I did. I took him away during the Blondie celebration and confessed feelings I didn't have. I made sure to fiddle with my hands and rock back and forth so he thought I was nervous about his reaction. Thankfully, it worked well enough for him to kiss me.

At six months, we realized he really is just like the rest of us. Only he's a boy.

I know that I have to either break it off or tell him the truth. The thing is though, while I was just supposed to be pretending to care about him I grew to feel so much more.

Somewhere along the way I fell in love with Aris. Seeing as he really likes me, and we're happy together, I knew I had to take this secret to the grave. There was no reason to destroy him. After all, ignorance is bliss. So I'll let him think he had my heart from the beginning. It's what's best for both of us.

I know that some of the girls don't agree with this. Any of it. Both that it should be a secret or that we should even be together. Still, nobody has tried anything. Besides a glare or two everything seemed normal.

Ironically, the Blondie celebrations are where we see each other the most. Hidden in the dark, I could lean my head on his shoulder and listen to him say whatever he wanted or nothing at all. As long as we are together I don't care what he does.

Tonight was one where he was just a little more talkative. With my head on his lap, I gazed up at him as he told me about his day. Every now and then he would look down at me and grin before going on with what he was saying. Holding the sleeves of his jacket, I got lost in his eyes, in his smile, and in his voice.

Just as he was about to ask me another question we heard footsteps in the snow. Seeing as we're usually the only ones who stay this far away it was definitely odd for another person to just show up.

Looking up, we spotted Beth approaching. After we exchanged a glance of confusion I sat beside him as we waited for whatever she was going to do or say.

"So you two are still going strong,"She remarked, her smile innocent yet her tone having an underlying callousness in it.

"Yeah,"Aris mumbled, shifting closer to me.

"That's just unusual considering everything,"She trailed off. That's when I knew exactly why she came over. She had one goal in mind, and no matter what it would mean and who it would hurt, who it would shatter, she was going to try and accomplish it.

"Don't,"I snapped.

"Don't what?"Aris asked.

"Yeah, Y/N? Don't what?"She taunted.

"It's over with,"I begged.

"What's over with?"Aris questioned.

"Oh, you don't know? That explains so much,"She drew out.

"Explain what? Y/N, what is she talking about?"He asked, looking at me. Feeling my mouth go dry, I just silently pleaded for her to not do this.

"You know? The plan,"She vaguely answered.

"Beth, please stop,"I repeated, hearing my voice crack.

"Wha-"

"You know how nobody trusted you when you first showed up?"She started.

"Yes, but-"

"And a few people randomly trusted you one day?"

"Of course."

"Well-"

"Please don't!"

"There was a reason for that,"She kept going. Holding back tears, I tried not to break. "Do you remember Y/N's sudden closeness to you?"She asked. His silence was all he needed. "Do you want to know why?"

"Y/N, what is she on about?"He whispered. I just desperately shook my head no.

"Y/N faked her feelings for you. She actually came up with most of the plan,"She explained.

"What plan?"He asked, moving away from me.

"Get you to fall in love so we know your intentions. Of course, nobody thought she would too. Then again, she can be all over the place,"She spilled.

Time stopped as he went completely still. Leaving us there, Beth left like she had done nothing wrong. Staring at the snow, I listened to the silence. Then, Aris stood up and started walking away. Regaining the ability to move, I followed him to the forest.

"Aris, I-"

"No. You've done enough,"He whispered, walking faster.

"Please, I didn't mean for this to happen,"I promised, grabbing his hand. Turning around, he just blankly stared at me. "It started out that way, but I really do need you now. If I could take that back I would. Because you deserve nothing but the world. I just-I-"

"Stop,"He demanded, pulling his hand away.

"Please, it was a mistake,"I begged. He didn't say anything as he stood there so I kept going. "You didn't deserve that, but I couldn't tell you. I couldn't lose you so I just kept it down. I never meant to fall in love, but I did. If I could make this better I would, turn back time so I didn't do this to you, I would. If I could change anything it would be pretending to care instead of realizing how incredible you actually are. Please, Aris. I love you so, so, so much. I love you more than anyone has ever loved everything."

Standing there in complete silence, I held back tears until he spoke up.

"Do you know what's worse than what you did? Do you know what's worse than you treating my feelings like a game?"He whispered. I didn't answer so he kept talking. "It's the fact that after you stopped toying with me, stopped loving me to my face and hating me behind my back, you did apparently love me. Or you say you do. Yet you still lied to me like it was nothing over and over."

"I never meant to hurt you like this,"I repeated.

"I wish I could believe that, but I learned your best talent,"He started, meeting my gaze. "You're a great actress, Y/N. Maybe they'll put your name on a screen one day,"He shrugged, wearing a bitter smile as tears fell from his eyes. Wiping them with his hands, he turned around and kept walking.

Despite wanting to keep chasing him, I fell to my knees in the snow and cried. Burying my face in my hands, I leaned over and sobbed until I couldn't. Then, I curled my knees to my chest and fell asleep in the freezing forest.

[nomoreusername]

Smile

Newt x gender neutral reader

Summary:When Newt notices you hiding your smile he quickly makes everything better again.

I looked into the little piece of broken glass as I thought about what they said. It was only meant to be a joke. I wasn't supposed to actually believe them.

But I did. I've been looking at my reflection and seeing what it looks like when I smile. Despite not caring about their words at first it seemed to be nothing short of true now.

My smile was ugly. It was far too toothy, too wide, too much. I've been trying to find a way to fix it, trying to change it, but nothing was working. It was still so hateable.

That left me with one desperate option. Avoid smiling as much as possible. If I do I try to hide it behind my hand. It looks ridiculous, but apparently so do I when I grin.

"Hey,"Newt said, walking in. I shoved the piece of glass under my bed.

"Don't you know how to knock?"I snapped, feeling my face flush with embarrassment.

"Not with you,"He pointed out. That was true, but right now I can't stand anyone seeing me. Practicing how to smile is a hard thing to explain. Especially, to him.

"Out,"I instructed, pointing at the door. He was visibly confused as he left. I guess I would be too.

"I wish I could fix this,"I sighed, pulling out the broken glass one last time. If only.

♡ - - - ♡

I nodded my head as Minho kept telling his story. It was admittedly kind of funny. I felt myself start to smile but managed to stop it just in time. I covered my mouth with my hand just in case it happened again.

"Are you alright, love?"Newt whispered in my ear.

"Yeah,"I shrugged, leaning back. He didn't look convinced. If anything he looked more concerned. He can't be though, right? I technically haven't done anything bad or wrong.

"Hey. Follow me real quick,"He whispered again, standing up. We slipped away from everyone without a word. Nobody seemed to notice.

"Where exactly are we going?"I asked as we walked away from the others.

"Just trust me. It'll only take a minute,"He promised. I wasn't sure if I believed him but didn't stop walking.

Eventually, he turned by the cliff and sat. He looked back at me expectantly. I joined him.

"It's pretty, isn't it?"He asked, looking at the sunset.

"Extremely,"I agreed.

"It's enough to make anyone smile,"He added. I didn't say anything this time.

"It always made you smile. How come you aren't?"He questioned. I fixated on the ocean below me to avoid looking at him.

"Y/N, how come you don't smile anymore?

"I do,"I mumbled.

"Barely, and anytime you do it's not yours. I want to see you smile from ear to ear."

"Why?"I asked before I could stop myself. I cringed at my words and wished I could take the back.

"Why? What do you mean why?"

"Why do you want to see me smile?"I whispered.

"Because I like seeing you happy, and I know you're happy when you wear that bright, perfect grin."

The only sound for a while was the crashing of waves against rocks. What was there to say?

"You don't think your smile is perfect, do you?"He asked quietly. I didn't say anything which was an answer in itself.

"Y/N, do you remember how we met?"He asked out of the blue.

"Of course I do. You were the third person up in the Glade. I helped you out of the box and showed you around,"I reminessed.

"And do you remember how scared I was at first?"

"Yeah. Alby and I were worried you were never going to leave the box."

"And I might not have. There was one thing though, that told me everything was going to be okay,"He stated, pausing so I was left with a burning curiosity.

"What was it?"I wondered.

"You. You held out your hand and flashed me that brilliant smile. Suddenly, everything was okay because you were there. I didn't even know my name, but that if someone could have such a genuine smile I would be okay,"He admitted.

I looked at him and searched his face for any sign of a fib. Then, I realized who I was sitting with. Newt's a lot of things, practically all of them incredible, but a liar is not on the list.

"See? There's that contagious smile,"He remarked, making me recognize that I was practically beaming. It's so hard not to when I'm around him.

"Now don't you ever hide that amazing smile again. Good that?"He checked.

"As long as I have you then yeah. Good that,"I agreed.

"Good. Do you want to go back to everyone else?"He offered.

I didn't say anything as I placed my head on his shoulder which was another silent answer.

Right there I was perfectly content in that one simple moment. It was just the sunset, me, and the one person who never fails to make me smile.

[nomoreusername]

Too Late

Pairing:Harriet x female reader

Summary:After getting Aris and Sonya out, they tell Harriet something that destroys them all

I was more than ecstatic to have Sonya and Aris back. I had spent too long without my best friends. 

There was just one person who was missing though. No matter how much I kept looking I hadn't found my girlfriend. So far I had been pushing off any negative thoughts for as long as possible. It was the only way to convince myself that she was okay.

"I'm really happy you guys are safe,"I told my friends, smiling

"Yeah. So are we,"Sonya mumbled. There was something much more behind it though. She sounded like she had lost something important, almost like she was mourning.

I knew very well who that may be, but I kept pretending it was impossible as I looked at them.

"So is Y/N still at WCKD?"I finally asked. 

They exchanged glances that made me sick to my stomach. Both of their faces had dropped in a fraction of a second. Any hope I had for her being safe was gone. 

"Harriet, there's something we need to tell you,"Aris mumbled. I expectantly looked at them for the information I was dreading and denying at the same time before saying the only right thing.

"I'm going to bring Y/N back no matter how long it takes,"I promised. 

"Harriet, you can't do that,"He kept mumbling.

"Of course I can. I'll rescue her, and we'll be together again,"I argued.

"Y/N never made it in the train,"Sonya uttered. 

"I don't understand. If she wasn't on the train then where is she?"I asked, pushing down the terror that she wasn't here anymore. She had to be safe. She just had to.

"She tried to run,"Aris started explaining, his voice breaking. I just kept looking at them, needing the next words to be that she made it someplace safe.

"And WCKD killed her,"He finished. 

Time seemed to freeze as I attempted to comprehend his words. This couldn't be true. I wouldn't let it be true.

"No. She's alive. She's fine,"I argued as tears filled my eyes. Yet as I managed to see the agony on their faces I knew she wasn't.

The three of us say there grieving for her death. It wasn't a pain I'd ever imagine I'd feel. My soulmate was dead. I had spent six months thinking about what we'd do when we were together again, but I was too late.

In only a few seconds my entire world has shattered into pieces. WCKD had finally done it. They took everything. My memories, my past, my childhood.

All of that was child's play though because I had Y/N. 

Except now I didn't, and no rescue mission would bring her back to me.

[nomoreusername]

Never Enough

Pairing:Thomas x female reader

Summary:After Thomas finds out what actually happened to you he vows to avenge you.

I had a bad feeling about these people from day one. Something about them just felt off. Especially, when it came to Janson.

When Y/N's name was called for some sort of 'Safe Zone' it only intensified. I did everything to see where they were taking her, but it was hopeless. Seeing the way she looked back at me with terrified eyes haunts my dreams.

Now I was standing in a room full of the kids that had been called. I kept telling myself that by some miracle she had done the impossible and escaped, that she was safe.

Deep down I knew it was a foolish thought. Still, I frantically scanned the room to prove to myself that she wasn't here. 

Then, as I walked down the aisle, I saw the one thing I had been begging not to. She was hung from the ceiling with her eyes shut, and I spotted no sign of her breathing.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry,"I repeated, not having the ability to say anything else. She wasn't even dead, but there was way she was truly alive. I think that's worse.

"Y/N,"I whispered, touching a strand of her hair as if hung in front of her face. She remained limp. I would never see her any other way now. I would never see her bright smile, her kind eyes, her heart beautiful life. She was gone.

"I'm going to kill everyone that did this. Every. Last. One,"I promised. It was the only thing I could truly do for her, but even then, it didn't feel like enough.

Because it isn't. As long as she's dead nothing will ever be enough.

[nomoreusername]

His Hoodie

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:After losing Aris everything in your life falls apart

A blue and gray striped hoodie, with no zipper, a hood, a single front pocket, and that had been through absolute hell.

Some days, I hate his hoodie. Other days, it’s the only sort of comfort. One thing's the same though. I will never take it off. Not even at night to sleep, out of fear that something could happen to it, refusal to let go, and grief that he never made it.

It doesn't smell like him anymore, and I don't know how to get it back.

I hate the Scorch, and I still hate Jorge and Brenda. I refuse to even be around them, but apparently everyone’s just forgiven them. I mean Thomas is fucking dating her. He's actually dating the girl who killed my boyfriend.

They keep telling me that it was an accident. And it was. There was no way she could have known her bullet would go through the guy's body, hitting my love.

So now I don't talk to Thomas, Minho, or Frypan either. While Teresa was with us I wouldn't look at her. When Newt was here I only spoke to him when it was about rescuing Sonya. Everyone only talked about Minho though, and Harriet didn't stand up for her, leaving me responsible for doing so. Now I don't talk to her either. I sometimes speak to Sonya, but she still hangs out with Harriet so I can't do so often.

I hate them. I hate everyone. They just want me to move on. Even the new friends didn't take me seriously as they tried to set me up. Every time though, I said that I had a fiancee, because I do. I never had a ring, but I didn't need one. That promise to be his wife when we got to the Safe Haven was more than enough.

Nobody took it seriously though. So much so, that somebody took his hoodie while I was in the shower as a “joke,” and I was apparently overdramatic. Because he was younger. He was just a kid, and kids make mistakes. While I agree, he was a teenager. Not a child so he knew right from wrong. Yet somehow when I beat the hell out of him for taking the only thing I had left of Aris I was the bad guy.

What kills me the most? It's only been ten years, and I’m already starting to forget his face. It's getting so blurry. His voice, I don't quite remember his exact tone and how he spoke. There also weren't exactly any photos or videos to remind me.

I remember the way Brenda led us to Jorge though. I still recall being afraid while he hung us upside down but feeling stronger when I looked at Aris. Because he was my everything, and I could make it through hell as long as I had him. Then, when we figured out how I was the one who untied his chains from his ankles so that we could move. Just as we thought it would okay though, there was some guy that came out of nowhere, pointing his own gun at us. Since we're each other's everything I kept my hand in front of Aris to protect him, and he did the same. It wasn't the time for it, at all, but the way fingers brushed against my hips while he did was kind of nice. I mean we were all being threatened and one of my thoughts was how much he means and how much I love him.

When the gunshot went off we thought it was from him until he fell forward, revealing Brenda pointing one. Like it was nothing she yelled at us to hurry up and ran without looking back. I also know the sound obviously made everyone flinch because we all thought that we were the ones who had been hit.

As I tried to leave he whispered my name. I turned to see blood coming out of his chest before he fell to the ground. As he did I was right beside him while everyone else stood there. Not knowing what to do, I just pressed my hands to the wound as I told him it would be okay. As he reached his hand out though, just barely pressing it on my cheek, I looked him in the eyes as he just gave me his touch.

What kills me is that his last sentence was just, “it's okay.” Officially, his last word was just, “I,” before he died. He never even finished them so all there was was an absolute lie. It's not okay, and it never will be.

I screamed as loud as I could. I shook him as I demanded that he wake up. In my hysteria I kissed him, only for his lips to be cold, like they belong to a stranger and not the warm boy who lit up my world. I kept saying his name, sobbing over his dead body as I did everything to wake him up, as if there was a chance. I mean I shook him, kissed him, hugged him, cradled him, rocked him, and stroked his hair.

The worst part is that I did all of this in so little time before two or three people dared pull me away. I kicked and thrashed and screamed and reached for him, only for them to tighten their grip. Two people grabbed my legs while another grabbed my arms. They pulled me to Jorge and forced me on the zipline.

When Jorge came down I was still on my knees, sobbing and repeating his name. When he got close I got on top and punched him over and over and over. I was yelling at the world, rage filling my veins as I called him and the girl monsters and barely human and freaks and screamed that I would kill them. I grabbed my knife and tried to stab him only for someone to restrain me.

Eventually, when I kept trying to kill him when nobody was looking, Minho was assigned to be his body guard since he was in obvious need of protection. Where was Aris’s protection though? Where were they when I was on the floor, doing everything to save his life?

I had failed him too, but I tried. It wasn't enough and never would be, but fucking hell, I did everything I could. It may have been in vain, but I did everything in my power to keep him alive.

Unfortunately, I didn't have any power. So now he's dead, and I’m not.

Since I couldn’t kill Jorge I attempted to murder Brenda. I dragged her to the club and beat her senseless. She barely got any hits in that I couldn't even feel through the sharp pain in my heart.

As I was only halfway done Newt found me. He put his arms around me so that I couldn't move. While he did so I was still shouting at him, telling him that I wasn't finished, reminding him that she killed Aris, the love of my life. The second he got a word in he told me that Aris wouldn't want me to be like this.

This broke something in me as if I wasn't already nothing but little pieces, a shell of who I was. I demanded that he tell me how he would know what Aris would want, but he just reminded me that this violent girl, the one seeking revenge, the one so easily able to hurt people, was not who he had fallen in love with.

The worst part was that he was right. I was not who Aris knew. When I saw myself in a mirror I didn't even recognize myself, and I hated everything about that person staring back.

How can I remember all that but not his face? Not his voice? Not his body? Not his scent? How can I remember everything but what I’m supposed to?

Why couldn't it have been me? Why did it have to him? Why can't I trade places with him?

Standing at the edge of the Safe Haven, I let out a blood curdling scream that only the birds in the sky could hear. Dropping to my knees, I told him that I was sorry as I started pulling at my hair. I screamed about how much I hate everyone and how much I love him. I screamed until my throat was raw, and my voice was scratchy. Yelling into my hands, I broke down again as I tried to remember any positive detail about him. All I had was little moments that he didn't look right in.

Feeling myself break even more than before, I banged my fists on the hard dirt until they were bloody. Crying out for him, as it started to rain I held his hoodie close to my body as it soaked through it. Laying down, I let myself get colder and colder as my eyes started shutting.

For hours and hours I laid there, waiting. Waiting with a small on my face as it kept pouring. If it rained enough I would freeze. I wouldn't have to wake up. Not without him.

So, with my eyes still shut, as I became unable to move, I repeated his name as I prepared to see him again. And this time I wouldn't have to let him go. Ever.

[nomoreusername]

Pretty like...

Thomas is pretty like the ocean

Newt is pretty like a sunrise

Minho is pretty like a beach

Teresa is pretty like rain

Gally is pretty like a stream

Chuck is pretty like a forest

Brenda is pretty like city lights

Sonya is pretty like the moon

Harriet is pretty like autumn

Aris is pretty like stars

[nomoreusername]

Trouble (Part 4)

Pairing:Harriet x female reader

When Harriet sees you when another girl she proves that you're still hers.

Suddenly, I regretted everything. Because I lost her, and only then did I realize how much she meant. I think the worst part is how wrong she was. I was the furthest thing from ashamed, but I have a job to keep up with. As leader of the Spring, I need to have the attention I get to be from being in charge. If there was something for people to gossip about that may change, and that would lead to complete disorder. That would mean that I failed, and I can't fail. I never do so I can't start now.

What kills me even more, is that she doesn't even look upset about it. She seems as nonchalant about life as always. She may as well have stabbed me in the heart with how okay she seemed. Just because I seemed alright didn't mean I was, and even then I just wanted some sign that I had ever mattered to me. Anything. 

Staring at her across the fire, I watched her laugh with her friends. I know that it's smart to leave, especially since I made everyone leave me alone, but I didn't know how. She wouldn't even meet my gaze, but I couldn't stop looking at her. I was just taking in every little detail on her until I knew her as well as I knew myself. I took in the way her lips were in this beautiful, natural grin that I missed being because of me. I looked at the way her Y/E/C eyes shone just a little brighter. I looked at her Y/S/C skin. I looked at her Y/H/L, Y/H/C hair shining a little from the fire. I say it every time, but she has never looked more beautiful. Ever, and I lost her. 

Still fixated on her, I saw a girl sit beside her. An admittedly really pretty one. From her pale skin, to her green eyes, to her long, curly blonde hair, she looked nothing like me. So I crossed my fingers that she wasn't her type in any way. I crossed my fingers that I was still someone that she had her mind on. Please?

Closing my eyes and taking a breath, when I opened them I saw the girl with her hand on Y/N’s shoulder. She didn't brush it off as she rolled her eyes before smiling again.

Close. They were so close.

She's not mine. I know that, but I couldn't care less. In my mind, she's still my girl, and nobody but me touches my girl. Nobody.

Not thinking about it, I stood up and stormed over to her.

“That's my girl,”I immediately said. 

“Excuse me?”Her friend asked, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at me.

“Y/N is my girl. That means nobody but me can touch her,”I said firmly.

“Since when-”

“Since the second we kissed,”I answered.

“Really?”She asked quietly with her friend still glaring daggers at me.

“Yes.”

“Prove it,”She dared, her voice steady and strong. 

“If you insist,”I agreed. Before she could leave I pulled her up, and without hesitation, smashed my lips against hers. Putting my arms on her waist, I kept her close as she got over the shock and kissed back. Lost in her lips, for a moment I forgot why I was doing this. When I did though, I pulled away but kept my arm around her waist.

“Y/N’s my girl, and if you touch her I’ll throw you in the slammer,”I promised. With her arm still around my shoulder, I carried her back to my place bridal style, not caring to acknowledge the stares. They don't matter anyway. As long as I have my girl back, life is just fine.

[nomoreusername]

Trouble (Part 3)

Pairing:Harriet x female reader

Summary:After realizing how in the shadows you are, you confront Harriet about it.

Leader of the Spring. Well known troublemaker. In hindsight, that was not a good match. There were also times where I truly over thought it until I physically couldn't.

Then, I saw her. Then, I was kissing her until I ran out of air. Then, we were hidden in the forest, away from the world and in our own. Then, we ran off on Blondie night, dancing where nobody would see.

That's kind of the problem though. It was always where nobody could see. She refused to even hold my hand in front of others. Admittedly, it stung.

So as I laid in her tent, with my head on her stomach, I asked what I had been waiting to for so long. It had been eating at me until I felt nauseous, and I couldn't handle it anymore.

“Are you ashamed of me?”I finally asked, my words making her stop rubbing circles on my shoulder.

“What?”She asked after a moment of thick silence.

“Are you ashamed of me?”I repeated.

“Why would you ask that?”She questioned.

“I just feel like you act like it. It feels like you don't want anyone to know that I'm part of your life.”

“But I do want you,”She tried to assure me.

“So you only hide me for the fun of it?”

“I don't hide you. I just don't like PDA,”She reasoned.

“I’m not asking for that. Maybe you could just be with me in front of the others in public. We could stay to the side of everyone. We could be near each during breaks instead of running off where nobody can see us,”I listed.

“I can't do that,”She mumbled.

“You're that embarrassed by me?”I whispered. She froze, telling me everything that I needed to know. “Fine. You don't have to be anymore,”I promised, standing up.

“Y/N, wait,”She called, grabbing my hand before I could run off.

“No. I’m tired of waiting.”

“Y/N, we can talk about this. Okay? I’m not embarrassed of me. I just-”

“I’m done, Harriet. You can go be with someone you actually want. Go find your dream girl because it's obviously not me.”

“Y/N-”

“No. You never have to hide in public anymore. You don't have to run off, because I’m done. We’re done, Harriet. We’re over,”I promised, pulling my arm out of her grasp and storming off. Pretending she didn't exist, I held my head high until I got to my tent. Then, I fell to my knees and sobbed until I was too drained to even keep my eyes open. 

[nomoreusername]

Trouble (Part 2)

Pairing: Harriet x female reader

Summary:After you keep avoiding Harriet she makes it so that you have nowhere to be but with her.

Y/N had left me standing there. Still, we absolutely had to talk about everything. I needed to know why she had run off after kissing me and also why she kissed me. I need to know if she felt what I did, whatever that was. I needed to know if things would go back to what they were or completely change. 

She also didn't plan on doing that. She wouldn't even look me in the eye. Whenever I was near the snow on the ground became so fascinating. She wouldn't really speak to me either. It just seemed like she was speaking at me in a way. Like she heard my words but wouldn't acknowledge that it was me talking. Even though she did what she was supposed to now, the feelings overshadowed how nice that actually was. 

So I had a plan. Maybe not an ethical one, but it was all I had. Even if she fought me on this, there was no escaping this time.

It took a lot of convincing, but eventually Sonya agreed to help. All I can do is hope that it won't make her hate me more, if she did. If not, then I just hope she doesn't pull away some more. 

Hidden in the dark, I was in the corner with nothing but the setting sun to see. Taking a breath, when I heard her voice I held it. 

"What is so important this late at night? Especially, in the slammer?"She pointed out.

"You'll see. It will only take a minute,"She lied. 

Hearing their approaching footsteps, I held even more still than before, which was saying something. Making sure to avoid looking at me, she undid the locks and gestured for her to get in. With a sigh, she hopped down without a second thought.

Before she had time to change her mind Sonya slammed it shut and tied it before putting an extra lock. By the time Y/N realized what was happening, kind of, she had already run off. 

"Sonya! This isn't funny!"She yelled through the bars. 

"There's no point in doing that,"I spoke up, making her jump. Placing a hand to her chest, she turned around to see me with the lantern in my hand.

"Harriet?"She asked, scrunching up her nose as she tried to figure out what was happening.

"Yeah, and we need to talk,"I firmly stated.

"Not really,"She shrugged, her eyes dancing around the cell. 

"You kissed me and ran off,"I said, as if a reminder was needed. 

"Oh, that,"She drew out. "Yeah. I don't really want to discuss that."

"It doesn't matter. We have to."

"Sonya! Let me out!"She suddenly demanded again.

"Everyone's asleep. She'll let us out when she wakes up,"I explained. 

"But I don't want to stay down here with you for the night. I need to leave,"She huffed, close to pacing. Well, this was going absolutely wonderful. She can't even stand my presence.

"You owe me an explanation,"I repeated.

"And you don't want it. Now let me out."

"Not until you explain what the hell that was about."

"No. I don't think I will,"She crossed her arms over her chest. 

"Yeah?"I asked, stepping towards her. 

"Yes,"She tried to say, though her voice came out shaky. Stepping back to avoid me had the opposite result as she was stuck between the wall and me. I also didn't plan on moving until she told me everything.

"What was that? That night in my tent, what was that about?"I whispered. 

"You don't want to know."

"Would I lock you in here all alone with me if I didn't want to know?"I pointed out.

"You think you do, but you don't. Just drop it,"She tried to order.

"No. I don't just drop things,"I promised. 

"You'll want to drop this,"She tried to convince me. Pulling my own trick, I made it so our lips were almost brushed against each other. One wrong, or right, move, and that night would be recreated. This time though, there was nowhere to run. 

"Do you know what I actually am? I'm just trouble,"She tried to tell me. 

"Then, it's a good thing opposites attract,"I reminded her.

"Harriet-"

"I've been around you long enough to know when you're playing games and when you're lying. Right now, you're only doing one. Which one is it?"

"I'm trouble, Harriet. I'm no good for you."

"And you think you get to decide that for me?"I asked, raising an eyebrow. I heard her breath get shaky at my words. "Are you nervous?"I whispered in her ear. 

"Terrified,"She admitted.

"I scare you that much?"

"No. But this does. This feeling,"She confessed.

"What feelings, Y/N?"

"None that you return."

"Is the way I trapped you with me not enough to suggest that I want something to do with you?"

"I made you cry."

"You make me do a lot of things."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Like what?"

"I could tell you,"I mumbled, glancing at her lips. Looking back up, I saw her doing the same. "Or I could show you?"

Before I could blink her lips were pressed against mine. Putting my arms around her neck, I gradually deepened it, feeling her smile against my mouth. Knowing the world was nothing but us, I let my hands travel to her waist as I held her closer, as close as I could get. She did the same, her fingertips almost brushing against my skin, sending shivers up my spine. After taking in just her, the way her lips fit with mine, the way her touch lingered, the way she tasted, we pulled apart for air.

"I'm really, really bad news,"She told me after a moment of silence.

"It's a good thing I know how to handle anything then,"I whispered in her ear.

And with those being some kind of magic words she kissed me again.

[nomoreusername]

Trouble(Part 1)

Pairing: Harriet x female reader

Summary:What should be another lecture from Harriet ends in something more.

Harriet, Harriet, Harriet. The things I could say about her. I could say that she was a control freak. I could say that she didn't know how to have fun. I could say that she was such a stick in the snow all the time.

I don't though. I know better than to insult the first-in-command. I just roll my eyes when she can't see and get on with my day.

Apparently, luck decided to run out about that as I ended up alone with her in her tent, being lectured by her on safety or something. I tuned her out a while ago. By this point that was basically second nature.

"Are you listening to a word I'm saying?"She snapped, waving her hands in my face.

"You want the truth or the answer that won't piss you off?"

"Are you-are you kidding?"She stuttered.

"Whenever do I joke, Harriet? I am as serious as they come,"I gasped, expecting her annoyed reaction. I also more than got it as she tapped her foot with her arms crossed. She seemed five seconds away from storming out of here. Honestly, I kind of wish that she would.

Since she was taking too long with that though, I knew that I would have to do it for her. With a sigh, I stood up to go back outside and do my job. Surely, that would make her happy.

As I was ready for the crunch of snow under my boots, and the cold wind on my face, she pulled me back by my hood. I almost tripped over my own feet as she sat me back down in my original spot on her cot.

"What the hell was that for?"I demanded to know.

"You need to listen,"She tried to reason.

"No, I don't,"I said through gritted teeth. Staring at each other, we silently dared the other to back down. With her arms still crossed, and my eyes narrowed at her, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"I am first-in-command,"She suddenly tried to reason.

"Oh, my sincere apologies. Allow me to bow down, your majesty,"I scoffed.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah. What'd you even do to get that title? It was the bad luck of the draw, and yours was the worst. That's not my problem,"I pointed out.

Sitting there, I expected her to say something back to me. After all, that's how things always go. That's how they're meant to.

It didn't though as her eyes glistened with tears. I just froze as I wondered if this was actually real. Was Harriet actually about to cry, in front of me, because of me? Did I-did I make Harriet cry?

"You have no idea what it was like being all alone. Not a single one,"She scowled. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as shame bubbled in the pit of my stomach. "For an entire month I thought that I was going to lose my mind. I thought that maybe I had done something wrong. I thought I was just going to be isolated forever,"She spilled.

"Harriet-"

"I did it alone. It wasn't just some bad luck. It was terrifying. You know I came up with dead people already here?"

"Harriet-"

"I worked my ass off to make this place what it is. I picked myself up and started working just in case someone did join me one day. If not, at least I'd have some place to go crazy in."

"Harriet-"

"I have earned that title. Absolutely earned it. I am a damn good leader so-"

"I know you are,"I interrupted. She stopped talking as she looked me in my eyes, hers still having little tears in them.

Standing up, I stood before her. She didn't move away as I hesitantly reached my hand out and placed it on her cheek. Using my thumb, I wiped some of them from her face.

At some point we had moved closer without even realizing. Barely an inch away from each other, I took in her features. With her sweet caramel eyes, long eyelashes, and soft seeming lips, she was beautiful, stunning, absolutely gorgeous.

Still cupping her face, I brushed my lips against hers. She wasn't the slightest bit caught off guard as she put her hands behind my neck. Pulling her as close as possible to me, my heart felt something it never had before as we fit together like we were made for each other. Only when we needed air did we pull away, keeping our foreheads together as if we were immediately going to start again.

Gazing at her, seeing her leftover tears, reminded me that I was the one who had made her cry. It reminded me just how well that would end.

"I'm sorry,"I breathed out when the reality of what we were doing set in. Without another word I pulled myself out of her arms and rushed out of the tent, leaving her standing there by herself.

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Helping Hands

Pairing:Minho x gender neutral reader

Summary:After realizing you won't tell Minho your feelings Newt lends a helping hand.

Eleven hours. It had been eleven hours since Minho had been trapped in that maze. It had been eleven hours of me pacing by its doors. Above all, it has been eleven hours of hearing the Griever's.

"You need to stop pacing. You're going to stress yourself out even more,"Newt said.

"I can't sit still or I'm going to stress more. I need to move,"I explained, still pacing.

"Well, you're stressin' me out worse. Please calm down. He's going to be alright out there,"He tried to reassure me. I groaned and slid against the wall, sitting still for my friends sake.

"It's just one more hour until those doors open. We just need to stay calm until then."

"I'm trying to Newt, but I can't stop worrying. I need him to be okay,"I said, running a hand though my hair.

"We're all worried, but Minho's strong. He's going to come out of the maze with Alby and Greenie to."

"If he dies on me I'm going to kill him,"I sighed. It was an attempt to be lighthearted, but it didn't do much.

"There's something more you're thinking about. Spill."

"I've been in love with Minho for almost as long as I've known him, and I've never told him,"I admitted quietly.

"When he comes out you have to tell him. You're going to lose your mind if you don't."

"I can't tell Minho if he doesn't make it out,"I uttered.

"Then, believe he's strong enough to make it."

♡ - - - ♡

Twelve hours. It had been twelve hours of Minho being trapped in the maze. It had been twelve hours of waiting by those doors. It had been twelve hours of hearing the Greiver's.

Everyone was standing by those doors, waiting for them. A wave of emotions were going through us, and none of them were good. There was worry, fear, panic, and anticipated acceptance.

The doors completely opened to reveal nothing. There were only those vines swinging along the stone walls.

"He's not there,"I said to myself. A few Glader's were already walking away, giving up on him.

"I'm going in the Maze,"I told Newt.

"Have you lost your bloody mind?!"He exclaimed.

"I'm thinking more clearly than I ever have. You can throw me in the Slammer when I come back."

"No Y/N. Absolutely not,"He argued.

"Guys! They're here!"Chuck exclaimed, clapping his hands. I was by those walls in three seconds. By then Minho was already out with Alby and Greenie by his side.

♡ - - - ♡

For the entire day Newt hadn't shut up about me telling Minho. Each time I explained someone else was around him he'd give an exasperated sigh.

"He's basically alone. He's with Greenie."

"Exactly. He's with Greenie. I don't want to disturb them,"I argued.

"Fine. I'll handle it myself,"He said, walking off.

"No, no, no. Don't do that,"I protested, keeping up with him.

"It's going to be fine. You said you were going to tell him so I'm going to make you tell him."

"Tell who what?"Minho asked, coming out of nowhere. I was to nervous to form actual words.

"Y/N, what else can we do when we can't talk like a normal person?"Newt asked. Minho looked between us, confused.

"Shuck it,"I mumbled, crashing my lips against his. He wasted no time in kissing back, snaking an arm around my waist. His lips fit perfectly on mine, like they were designed for each other.

"See Y/N? That wasn't so hard."

"Shut up Newt. You're ruining our moment."

[nomoreusername]

TMR characters repeated lyrics

Gilded Lily-Cults

Haven't I given enough?

Given enough?

Haven't I given enough?

Given enough?

I Know The End-Phoebe Bridgers

The end is here

The end is here

The end is here

Please Stay-Lucy Dacus

But please stay

But please stay

But please stay

But please stay

Strangers-Ethal Cain

I tried to be good

Am I no good?

I tried to be good

Am I no good?

My Love Mine All Mine-Mistki

I love mine, mine, mine

Nothing in the world belongs to me

But my love all mine

Nothing in the world is mine for free

But my love, all mine, all mine

The Archer-Taylor Swift

They see right through me

They see right through me

I see right through me

I see right through me

Not Strong Enough-boygenius

Always an angel,

Never a god

Always an angel,

Never a god

Always an angel,

Never a god

Waiting Room-Phoebe Bridgers

I know it's for the better

Know it's for the better

Know it's for the better

Know it's for the better

Not Allowed-TV Girl

All by yourself, sittin' alone

I hope we're still friends, yeah, I hope you don't mind

All by yourself, sittin' alone

I hope we're still friends, yeah, I hope you don't mind

All by yourself, sittin' alone

I hope we're still friends, yeah, I hope you don't mind