not-a-bit-good

[not-a-bit-good]

Demonic gremlins and their sugar spouses

It was my request btw😅 (CR: vk.com/ookamikiba. Translated and reposted with permission.)

[not-a-bit-good]

tianlang jun is so wild. like imagine ur just chilling in your coffin and your favorite porn star is like hey are you using that? mind scooting over a bit? and hes like omg its Shen Qingqiu from the hit erotic ballad Regret of Chunshan! who i kidnapped! :D slay queen! mind giving my arm back? also r u fucking my son <;3

[not-a-bit-good]

Almost forgot to update on my svsss reread. Mostly because I'm updating when SQH and MBJ make an appearance and do something and now I'm realising the first three books have like...one or two appearances and theyre mostly from SQQs pov and very uninteresting (i still get excited when theyre mentioned though).

Anyway, here is this tit bit. Before this scene MBJ had kicked SQH into the cave to check for ambush/traps before all the head demons and sect leaders entered.

It could be a "least important person goes first) but I personality think MBJ has already realised how useful and indestructible SQH is, and sends him in first cause nothing can take down his strong little human.

Anyway. This scene then happens in the fight(?) Against TLJ, who is mostly rotted by now. And half snake ZZL jumps in to save him but also protect SQQ as usual.

ZZL tried to kill SQH and is now getting the beating of a lifetime for his efforts from the humans giant ice boyfriend.

I also think MBJ must like how light and easily lifted SQH is. He's travel/picket sized and no canon height chart can tell me any different.

I love ZZL but also you cant attempt to murder a demons loved one without getting your ass handed to you. This isn't even his first time learning this either hahahahaha

[not-a-bit-good]

You’d think that omegaverse aus would work really well for SVSSS, what with PIDW being a shitty internet porn series with 10,000 variations of sex pollen, but if you really try to rework the whole universe for abo you’ll find that it would actually crumble the very foundations of the series. This is due to the simple fact that the entire plot is spurred by Su Xiyan’s pregnancy, with her giving birth to Binghe alone while Tianlang-jun is imprisoned, but if the series was omegaverse there is no way in all hell that notorious dom sugar daddy masc Su Xiyan wouldn’t be the alpha to submissive and breedable omega Tianlang-jun. ANY other possibility is OOC on a world-breaking level. In this essay I will

[not-a-bit-good]

[not-a-bit-good]

Such a gentleman he is

(CR: vk.com/ookamikiba. Translated and reposted with permission.)

[not-a-bit-good]

Shen twin au chaos:

SY has been happily dating LBH for a little over a year now. They moved in together two months ago and things are going very well. Now, his family obviously wants to meet LBH at dinner.

SY is terrified.

He has a secret. His older brother is actually the professor that kinda ruined LBH’s college life for whatever petty reason his gege had. Like actually ruined it. LBH STILL talks abt SJ’s teaching. That rate my professor report was so amazing SY printed it out and hung it in his house for a while just to piss his brother off. His brother stopped coming to his house in protest.

He found out his boyfriend was the one who wrote that by complete accident! He mourned having to take it down when LBH moved in. It’s still hidden in his closet behind all his figures and plushies he had to remove from his bed to make room for LBH.

So now he has to figure out how to tell LBH…or not tell him…No! That’ll cause so much more drama when he shows up if not. He has to get this sorted out. He has to.

How I think the convo would go:

LBH: your brother is SJ? Evil incarnate? The reason there’s the stereotype about teachers hating kids? The one who managed negative stars on rate my professor? The guy who sleeps with the dean to get out of trouble? HIM????

SY: haha….

LBH: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

SY: I didn’t want you to only be dating me to get back at my brother!

LBH: I would…..(pause) I would never!

SY: that pause is all I needed to know

LBH: Yuan-ge you can’t blame me!!!!

[not-a-bit-good]

Me every time it is cold enough outside

[not-a-bit-good]

shen qingqiu, after bashing shang qinghua’s writing for several paragraphs, begrudgingly admits that he loves lbh. I cant w this man. literally the FIRST thing he does after thinking “hey, sometimes airplane’s writing IS satisfying” is LOOK AT FUCKING BINGHE.

he’s whipped

[not-a-bit-good]

the funniest thing about Airplane-bro's career as a spy being portrayed as him ending up doing all his peak's paperwork and all the northern desert's paperwork and giving his king all this information on dmeon realm schemes and mythical objects that his protagonist won't miss is that that's... not what spies do? especially not deep cover agents?

the job of a spy is to get information from a specific target that is not from where their handlers are from and report it back

not analyse it

not strategise for it

not give information about other organisations that the one they've infiltrated

not do the bookkeeping and cabinet business of the people they secretly work for

just get information from specifically the people they've infiltrated and report it back

Mobei-Jun must be so confused.

like. he has a spy! in the biggest cultivation sect! he'll get all sorts of info on what that specific sect is up to- oh, no, instead his spy has given him information on several of the neighbouring demon clan's schemes? and his uncle's? this is a map to the nearest priceless treasure that has nothing to do with his spy's sect and they aparently don't know about?? how is he getting this information?! why is he getting this information?! why is he complaining about how much work he has to do while going through the top secret reports of the northern desert and filing them correctly?!? is he working for someone else? how many people is he working for? wait? is he even from that cultivation sect at all?!? did he join a wagon from that sect and infiltrate them that way? does he even know how spying on people is supposed to work!??!?

Poor Mobei. So Confused.

[not-a-bit-good]

I think, on some level, that Shen Yuan is like enrichment for Airplane Bro's enclosure. I think Airplane Bro kind of fucking LOVES having this guy around. Like, I do think their relationship is nuanced, weird and full of contradictions and not always good for them, but I also think that some chaotic part of Shang Qinghua honestly likes having his #1 hater weirdo running around completely fucking up his world.

Shen Qingqiu, grabbing Shang Qinghua by the shoulders: "Why didn't anyone TELL ME that Binghe is GAY NOW?! I'm going to die because of MONSTER DICK?!?!?!"

Shang Qinghua: (internally, probably only half-consciously) "Incredible. Amazing. How did I live without you? You torture me with your bullshit. You complete me in every possible way. I think we might be soulmates and we should make out about it. I hate you. I love you. You mean nothing to me and everything to me. This isn't your story and you stole it from me. I wrote this for you without even knowing you existed. You are a fascinating mystery that I will never solve. I will throw you under the bus at the first opportunity and yet I can't stop risking my life to help you. Your stupid game of gay murder chicken with my emotionally and mentally unstable protagonist is going to destroy the world and kill us all and I've never felt more alive. You have changed me as a person. Let's do this forever."

Shang Qinghua: (out loud) "Lol, sucks to be you, bro. At least you can get laid."

[not-a-bit-good]

shang qinghua is the most realistic character because he never published shen jiu's full backstory to avoid discourse and fandom beef, only for the svsss fandom to start shen jiu related discourse and fandom beef

[not-a-bit-good]

oh my god his face is like :D

[x]

[not-a-bit-good]

With the Steven Universe revival coming up I want to urge all of the fans of SU to join the gym and start getting yolked so that the fandom stops being the constant target of anti-progressivism based harassment. I want people to reference SU like "yeah it is super cringe that they all have dyed hair and play the ukulele but I couldn't say that to their face. Look how fucking massive they are."

[not-a-bit-good]

it is 2015. phineas and ferb, the amazing world of gumball, and steven universe are on the air. you are currently playing undertale

it is 2025. phineas and ferb, the amazing world of gumball and steven universe are back on the air. you are currently playing undertale

[not-a-bit-good]

If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise 

[not-a-bit-good]

that one scene in devil wears prada where Andy says that she would have never betrayed anyone like Miranda betrayed Nigel at the end in order to save herself and her position on top in the fashion industry and Miranda Priestly is quiet for a beat before she whispers in that lilt whispy voice ”you already did”…..that was a better written psychologically dynamic scene between two characters than most modern hero/villain scenes you see today in cinema