🇫🇷/professional lady killer & backstabber/dirty bushmen dni
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Hello. The following is a message from the Teufort Census Bureau.
How would you rate your current employment?
Thank you for your co-operation.
@tf2-data-collection-agency
Teufort Census Bureau? Never heard of that before.
But please, if you must know how I'd rate my current employment, I'd give it a 8/10.
The facility is good, my coworkers are... interesting, to say the least, and the pay cannot be critized. Nonetheless, I have to admit: I've had better jobs than this one in the past.
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pain means bread in french
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AHEM. FRENCHIE!!!!!!!
Uh. Thank you. FOR HELPING ME YESTERDAY. YOU SERVED AMERICA WITH HONOUR, CROUTON. I DID NOT EXPECT SUCH AN ACT OF PATRIOTISM FROM A HIPPIE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the good work, son!!!!!!!! RAAGAGAAAHHGAGH
You're welcome, Soldier.
Whatever would we do without you?
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Cw: Rant about Scoutspy
I FUCKING hate Scoutspy shippers. Yes, I am talking to YOU specifically bluekitty228. If you don't know who they are, they post on tiktok and twitter of NSFW art Scoutspy crap and they're FAMOUS too! They're not some hidden fan who has a few followers and thinks he's safe from the fandom but NO! They are actually a little higher up in popularity especially on Tiktok, and it's disgusting. Along with every one of you bastards who ships them too. Every art, fanfiction, everything of them being together. Because you're meaning to tell me, out of EVERYONE in the Tf2 universe, the mercs, Saxton, Maggie, Miss Pauling and more, you just decided to ship the only ones that are father and son?? Tell me oh so horny fellow on HOW would you think that's okay? On top of that, the dynamic of Scout and Spy doesn't even have bond, they did kinda but def not a good one because they HATED each other. The only thing literally not making them kill each other is that they are obligated not too because they work together (And Spy can't kill hid own son but he sure as hell can cuss him out and beat the shit out of with a mannequin) throughout the whole thing up until the very end where they finally became friends, so there is NO reason for people to be shipping them at all or in the first place because guess what? THEY ARE FATHER AND SON. Fucking disgusting the lot of you who thinks shipping them and DRAWING THEM NSFW is okay. Get some fucking help. ❤
Thank you for listening to this rant. This will not change anything as Scoutspy will still be out there unfortunately, but hey, at least they know I and I hope some TF2 fans hate them too.
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Ah, yes. I understand now. Thank you for elaborating.
██████████
Elaborate, please.
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Yeah, I think so too. Come on, Solly. I'll escort you to him.
iicdnnsee furewotkd
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██████████
Elaborate, please.
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It's okay, Soldier. Take your time.
iicdnnsee furewotkd
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you're not the real spy, an actual french man would never be caught dead admitting he cares about *proper english*!
Non, I simply like correcting people.
And by the way, French is spelled with an uppercase F since it's a nationality.
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Whats youre real name? 😙
My name is none of your concern, but you may call me Spy.
Also, there's an apostrophe in "what's" and in this context it is spelled "your". Do they not teach proper English in schools anymore?
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Also. Before i hop off of tumblr for abit (im already supost to be on break but this app is my coping mechanism) i hand you an old Spy collage i made
I have a BLU spy one somewhere aswell but its more purple than blue
Mon dieu, c'est magnifique!

(ooc: I'm sorry for the late reply, I didn't get a notification and only now checked my inbox! /srs)
#again sorry for not replying#i didn't see it 😭#also take the break you need#for as long as you need#/srs#don't force yourself
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*Spy sighs contently at the few kisses and caresses Sniper's arms, brushing soft circles onto his skin*
*But not even halfway through the movie he closes his eyes and begins to snore lightly*
Hey, Spook. How's it goin'? I got a beer or two with yer name on'em, or some whiskey if you prefer, wanna come round? I'll trade ya for a smoko.
- @the-red-sniper
Sure, why not?.. also, I've been doing well the last couple of days, thank you for asking. Winning nearly every match really sparks my joy and satisfaction. And you? How have you been yourself? Still living in that old van?..
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*Spy chuckles at the idea*
Sure, let's watch The Spy Came in from the Cold.. it's my favourite..
*He smiles warmly at the Australian and let himself be led to the bed*
Hey, Spook. How's it goin'? I got a beer or two with yer name on'em, or some whiskey if you prefer, wanna come round? I'll trade ya for a smoko.
- @the-red-sniper
Sure, why not?.. also, I've been doing well the last couple of days, thank you for asking. Winning nearly every match really sparks my joy and satisfaction. And you? How have you been yourself? Still living in that old van?..
#sorry for the late response#some things happened irl#im an uncle now#btw i've never watched the movie#but I plan to
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*Spy hugs Sniper and rests his face in the crook of his neck, letting himself be held.*
Thank you, bushman.. for all of this.. I needed it..
*He sighs contently and closes his eyes tiredly*
Hey, Spook. How's it goin'? I got a beer or two with yer name on'em, or some whiskey if you prefer, wanna come round? I'll trade ya for a smoko.
- @the-red-sniper
Sure, why not?.. also, I've been doing well the last couple of days, thank you for asking. Winning nearly every match really sparks my joy and satisfaction. And you? How have you been yourself? Still living in that old van?..
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What are you gonna do about it? Make another one?

Hey.
*drops this thing i made in your inbox*
(Its so bad omfg)
HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS
THAT'S FKN BEAUTIFUL
AAAGGGHHHHHH
*eats it*
#/srs#but also kinda /j#dont wanna pressure you#but pls bless our eyes again#no pressure tho#god it's beautiful
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Hey.
*drops this thing i made in your inbox*
(Its so bad omfg)
HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS
THAT'S FKN BEAUTIFUL
AAAGGGHHHHHH
*eats it*
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*Spy stands there, dumbstruck by Sniper's words. The world seems to stop spinning and his breath holds for a moment.*
Jacques..
*He moves his glance back to the assassin as he realizes he doesn't want stupid secrets to create a brick wall between them.*
My name's Jacques..
Hey, Spook. How's it goin'? I got a beer or two with yer name on'em, or some whiskey if you prefer, wanna come round? I'll trade ya for a smoko.
- @the-red-sniper
Sure, why not?.. also, I've been doing well the last couple of days, thank you for asking. Winning nearly every match really sparks my joy and satisfaction. And you? How have you been yourself? Still living in that old van?..
#not a single “i love you”#but they know the truth#god i love hopeless love#and im not calling spy Eugene Hinkle!#for over 7 years his name has been Jacques (in my head)#that won't change
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