numb-and-scared

[numb-and-scared]

getting constantly shamed for eating food at home is always a nice way to end the day.

[numb-and-scared]

via weheartit

[numb-and-scared]

Every time you show your true colours I go numb. my mind goes blank and I become silent. My mind races to all different scenarios. I’m not willing to waste my energy on fighting back or arguing. I don’t have the strength for that.

[numb-and-scared]

[numb-and-scared]

i am tired. i am exhausted. from my head to my soul to my bones i am so fucking tired.

[numb-and-scared]

[numb-and-scared]

[numb-and-scared]

I have so much to say but I often just can’t find the words. I shut down and become silent because I just feel physically and emotionally numb to your actions. Why waste my breath when it starts an argument every time? it’s always my fault anyway.

My heart feels like it’s being poisoned. Slowly losing the love I have to give, running out of forgiveness and understanding.

Feeling heavy with sadness, helplessness and loneliness today.

[numb-and-scared]

I am a shell of the person I was. I don’t even remember myself. I vaguely remember some characteristics, some joyful moments, some unique mannerisms that my old friends loved about me. But I am no longer that person. My being has been crushed below the foot of the relationship I have been in for 7 years. all of the things I told myself I would never do, become, or tolerate - I have let myself down by allowing them and staying quiet when I should speak up for myself and others. I have let another human trample over my personality. I am so ashamed of who I have become and what I’ve allowed someone else to do to me.

I am a shell of the person I was. I don’t even remember myself. I vaguely remember some characteristics, some joyful moments, some unique mannerisms that my old friends loved about me. But I am no longer that person. My being has been crushed below the foot of the relationship I have been in for 7 years. all of the things I told myself I would never do, become, or tolerate - I have let myself down by allowing them and staying quiet when I should speak up for myself and others. I have let another human trample over my personality. I am so ashamed of who I have become and what I’ve allowed someone else to do to me. I am numb. And I have nobody in my life to talk to about it. Everytime I leave the house it’s smile and wave. All I want to do is scream. For anyone at all to look into my eyes and see how hard I’m hiding my feelings and how badly I have been doing. I feel like a ghost.