nuttylittlefruitcake

[nuttylittlefruitcake]

The way some people talk about pwNPD is downright fascistic but those narc abuse cunts aren't ready to have that conversation

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My first time getting one of these

Got a touch of the 'cism

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Got a touch of the 'cism

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peace and love on Earth..

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A question for physically disabled people into cpunk:

I'm not trying to revive discourse or anything, and I know a lot of these questions have probably been asked before, but I have chronic pain in my ears/face (which is acting up right now, actually) and I know that during the event when able bodied neurodivergents were trying to claim cpunk for themselves (I'm not even sure if that's still a thing or if it's died down) and physically disabled people were trying to set the record straight, a lot of examples given for what counts as a physical disability were mobility based. An example I saw was in regards to whether or not your disability would prevent you from fleeing a buring building. My chronic pain doesn't affect my mobility in any way, and it definitely wouldn't make me unable to escape a buring building if need be, but at the same time, it doesn't stem from my brain at all. I guess I'm just not sure where I fit into everything, so my question is, would my particular brand of chronic pain count under cpunk? (Part of me has impostor syndrome about it even being a physical disability because of this when I know it obviously is)

[nuttylittlefruitcake]

i’ve been thinking about this all day and i just want to get my thoughts down because maybe someone else who’s been through what i have can relate

as someone who’s had two psychosis episodes, both triggered by prescribed medication, i heavily relate to ford’s time being possessed by bill.

this whole thought occurred to me because of something my mom said to me today. she told me that when i was in psychosis it felt as if it wasn’t me, that it was almost as if something outside of me was controlling my actions (she doesn’t mean this literally, if you accuse people in psychosis of being possessed i will find you and steal your kneecaps).

if you have never been in psychosis, for some it’s as if everything is greatest it’s ever been in your life, the whole world makes sense on a cosmic scale and you feel like the most important thing alive. i would argue this is very similar to how bill made ford feel. bill promised him knowledge only he could bestow, that ford had a mind unlike any other, that he was destined for greatness. bill was essentially giving him delusions of grandeur.

then there comes the not so fun part of psychosis. it makes you do terrible, irrational things. some that, unintentionally, put yourself in danger. i won’t go into details about the things i did, but i could have easily died on more than one occasion. bill making ford hammer a nail into his hand, swallow spiders, slap a cop, and almost jump from the roof of the shack all feel like things psychosis could make one do.

and then there’s the destruction of his friendship with fiddleford. i lost so many close friends and was almost disowned by my family for the things i said and did in psychosis. the portal and bill planting seeds of doubt about fiddleford’s loyalty to ford is what destroyed things between him and fidds. i’ve already touched on actions, but psychosis for me caused severe paranoia about my friends and family, whether or not they were going to “betray” me in some way. how i felt is almost identical to ford’s paranoia of fiddleford’s trust in him.

idk maybe i’m just rambling and none of this makes sense or i’m projecting too much onto my comfort character, but if there’s a single person who can relate then i’ll find this post worth it

[nuttylittlefruitcake]

Anyone who uses the term "delulu" should be killulued and I am not joking

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Aromantic + NPD culture is realising how tragic the myth of Narcissus is.

Just because he doesn't love someone back, he was cursed to fall in love with his reflection and stare at it until he died, not being able to be loved back.

And now, everyone just throws around the term 'narcissist' as a synonym for abuser . . .

-🐭🧪

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The Narcissistic Abuse Believer To New Age/Alt-Right Conspiracy Theorist Pipeline

Let’s say that you are an abuse survivor. Let’s say that you had an abusive parent and/or ex. Let’s say you’re looking for support for abuse survivors, and a lot of the things you’re finding reference the concept of narcissistic abuse. You read more on the topic and begin to identify with a lot of what narcissistic abuse is supposed to be. You think to yourself “yes! this is exactly what I went through!” You research more about narcissists, how to spot them, what makes them tick, all the ways in which they would use and abuse you. You may not even know that NPD is a real disorder. You may not realize that narcissists are, more often than not, survivors of abuse just like you. Maybe you’re just genuinely misinformed. Maybe you just don’t care. A lot of people are here on the pipeline. Granted, this is not a good place to be (nowhere on the pipeline is) as it’s still incredibly harmful to pwNPD, but this is only the beginning.

Enter the Empath. The empath is allegedly a figure who experiences great empathy and compassion and, in turn, seeks to help others. They are generally portrayed as a kind and loving figure. Likewise, the Narcissist is the opposite. They’re evil manipulative abusers who only seek out vulnerable people to hurt, while not caring about the needs or feelings of others. You’ve been doing research for a while, and so you obviously know about the Empath. Let’s say you’ve internalized this idea that the Empath and the Narcissist are juxtaposed figures. Now, let’s take it a step further and say you’ve begun to believe that they have supernatural powers and that they use these powers for good/evil depending on their alignment. Let’s even say that you believe there’s a war going on between the two, that the empaths have to stop the narcissists from enacting their evil onto the world.

Supernatural powers like:

One very important thing we need to understand is that in New Age belief, The Empath and The Narcissist are two very particular figures that play a role in the belief system. To them, it’s not a disorder, it’s something else entirely. You might have noticed that the way some people talk about narcissists is wrapped up in spiritual, new agey language. Many years ago, I came across a YouTube channel that, in hindsight, was very new agey and ableist. I go back to that channel and what is the second video I see?

And if we go down a little further?

Spiritual language. Comparing us to demons, claiming we’re here to sabotage people on their (likely spiritual) paths. That is what a narcissist is in New Age belief. Empaths are here to do good and narcissists are here to do evil.

Now here’s where we get to the good part. If you reject the inherent truth that anyone has the capability of choosing to be a good or bad person, and instead believe that there’s a group of people sent here to do good and a group of people sent here to do evil, then I honestly don’t believe you’re too far off from believing in Starseeds vs Reptillians.

Starseeds are a concept founded in fascism, antisemitism, and white supremacy. It is believed that there is an ongoing spiritual war between the starseeds and the Reptillians, a group said to have been secretly running various organizations on Earth for thousands of years (sound familiar?) The starseeds want to help the Earth ascend to a new age, 5D, the Age of Aquarius, whatever you want to call it, while the Reptillians essentially want to keep that from happening. Honestly, just replace empaths with starseeds and narcissists with Reptillians and it’s pretty much the exact same thing. To New Agers, there’s practically no difference. And once you’ve made it to New Age territory, you might as well be knocking on the alt-right’s door.

There’s so much more about starseeds and Reptillians, and honestly New Age in general, that I just can’t fit into this post, but if you want to learn more, creature-wizard is a good blog with a lot of resources on the subject. I understand that it’s fun to joke about the ridiculous things people say about us (demons and such) but it’s also important to recognize how deeply dangerous narcissistic abuse rhetoric is, and that it leads to nowhere good for anyone. New Age ideology has always been ableist and eugenicist, and it’s been talked about how “starseed signs” are just autistic/ADHD traits, but I feel like the anti narc ableism also needs to be acknowledged. I’ll leave off with this:

If you genuinely believe in narcissistic abuse, then you are on this pipeline. Think long and hard about whether or not this is really where you want to be

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Damn, I wonder who the narcissist is, I lack media literacy and reading comprehension

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Another bit of personal experience with NPD: de-intensifying thoughts.

You're probably going to have more luck with this in professional psychiatric setting because this entire process works better in guided and controlled environment, but it isn't necessary. Personally, I have a good amount of self-control and that helps. It might not work for you, just keep in mind there are other methods out there.

The idea is in diminishing intensity of emotions, thoughts, and conclusions once you notice that you're hit by a strong feeling or conviction:

"Everyone loves me" -> "There are people who love me and there are people who don't love me. There's also a great chunk of people who don't know me and it's illogical to expect them to like me without meeting/knowing me."

"Everyone hates me" -> "There are people who dislike me, but there are also people who cherish and love me. I am not worthless just because someone dislikes me."

"I failed at XYZ, which means I can't ever do anything right" -> "Failure is part of the process. The greatest minds of our generation had mistakes, bad days, poorly accepted art, etc. I am not talentless just because of one mistake."

"I haven't gotten supply in a while, I have to leave" -> "They might not know that I need attention as I didn't make it explicit. I can initiate spending time together or directly tell them I need to hear XYZ. I am not being fair."

"X disagrees with me, meaning their opinion is worthless" -> "They might disagree with me, but it doesn't mean they have no worth. If anything, someone willing to healthily debate with me is a person worthy of respect".

"Only MY opinion matters" -> "Actually, it will be really embarrassing if I end up being wrong. Very few opinions are worth dying on that hill. Keeping middle ground and establishing reasons why I lean towards X and not Y might be the best option".

"I have shown vulnerability, which means they see me as weak" -> "Most people do not consider vulnerabilty a weakness. In fact, me showing my true emotions most likely made them proud of me. I do not have to continue opening up if I'm uncomfortable, but it isn't a mistake that I did".

And so on. The hardest part is going to be to catch the emotion when it comes over. I don't have advice on how to become more mindful aside from actively paying attention to how you feel over the course of the day/week/month, etc. Maybe journal or create mind maps for your feelings. Whatever works for you, really.

This is loosely based around the general logic behind transference focused psychotherapy, which is something that can be used for treating NPD, as I recently learned. I am not a psychiatrist and my therapy is self-applied. With that being said, do your homework and don't trust me blindly.

P.S. Yet again, this is not universal advice so use your brain.

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"Delusional people don't know they're experiencing delusions!" And that's how I know you have no idea what you're talking about

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ablebodied neurodivergents upon seeing a movement that isn't about them:

[image ID: a tweet by birdsRightsActivist saying "I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?"]

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NPD culture is looking at narcissistic abuse believers and thinking "Oh, I'll give YOU a reason to believe in narcissistic abuse when I'm done with you."

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I feel like there's definitely an autism and/or ADHD centrism problem in the neurodivergent community and it needs to be talked about more

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Idk just something about. Growing up you’re taught to fear psychotic people. Taught that they’re dangerous at worst and scary at best. Told to look away from people talking to themselves in the street, or if not pulled away from them. Your parents always making pity comments about those “poor mentally ill”. And then you find out you’re psychotic and all this internalized stuff is now also externalized because now people who have known you for years are suddenly looking at you like you’ve died and come back, and every where you look is a reminder that you’re unlovable and that your love isn’t enough because you’re taught that nobody wants a psycho’s love, and your love is dangerous and toxic. And then you go to neurodivergent safe spaces only to find out, surprise! That’s no safe space from the looks and the ableism! And even though you can relate to the other non psychotic people on a baseline level with neurodivergent experiences, the fact that they call bigots “delusional psychos” and the fact that they make fun of how you look at things that aren’t there and the fact that they have to specify “no, we’re not like those weirdos” just pushes you away from them. And all you can do is mask because nobody you know is psychotic, and nobody would understand, and their empty shallow comments about how they support psychotic people are just to make them look good, and their adamant support of the neurodivergent community draws a line at crazy people. I’m apprehensive about going to neurodivergent spaces unless I know for sure there is another psychotic person there. So far there hasn’t been.

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I have no problem with people with high empathy adding their experiences to my low empathy posts, I genuinely think the overlap in our experiences are really interesting, but you know there's just something that rubs me the wrong way about getting "what about high empathy people?" "High empathy people are valid too!" Comments every time I try and talk about low empathy

Like yes obviously high empathy people are valid, but I dont make low empathy positivity posts because low empathy is valid, i make them because I've been told I deserved my truama, that I should be sterilized, that I must have actually abused the people who abused me, that I am on the same moral level as murders, all because I don't feel empathy.

I will admit, I don't have high empathy, so I'm sure there is nuance in the way they're discriminated against that im not getting, but I feel like at the very least they're not completely dehumanized the way low empathy people are. So when I make posts where the message is "hey, we're not literal subhuman abuse monsters" and I get comments saying "and high empathy people aren't either!" Its like? yeah, obviously you're not, who's calling you that?

I don't know how much of this makes sense and how much is just truama brain, it just makes me uncomfortable.