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Worth millions II

✏ Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs ✏ Characters: Chūya Nakahara, Dazai Osamu  ✏ Word count: 1,977 ✏ Warnings: Ansgstober in November. ✏ Part I.

Dazai abandoned him after promising he wouldn’t. “People change, Chūya.” What a devious bastard. This miserable vagabond is incapable of change. Nakahara wasn’t disappointed. Not that he had much strength to hold on to disappointment, only persistent resentment. That crafty bastard was twisted to his very core. Nothing changes, and nothing can touch him. Maybe that quality was fanning the embers of Chūya’s hatred: Dazai’s ability to escape any sort of retribution. Slippery like a snake, crafty, and absolutely unscrupulous. The moment you think the hand of fate is about to touch him, it’s absolutely nullified. Dazai didn’t lose any people to Q’s curse, while Nakahara had to count the body bags. Dazai was never stabbed in the back since he was doing the stabbing, always. He was the one making the deals and collecting dues. He never lost, even in silly arcade games. Always unaffected, always unhurt, always a perfect player. The taller they stand the harder they fall. Deep down Chūya knew it was no longer about what his ex-partner deserved. It wasn’t about rivalry or revenge. He rather sadistically wanted to witness there was something that could touch Dazai, something that could hurt. Something to prove the bandaged bastard was just a tiny bit capable of feeling pain. Pity Chūya couldn’t do it himself. It would bring him immense satisfaction. No money he wouldn’t pay to see an expression of hurt, of pain, on Dazai’s face. To behold such masterpiece. Unfortunately, he can never buy it. He cannnot bring it to life, can’t push for it. Perhaps, it was time to admit he couldn’t hurt Dazai the way he wanted him to hurt. That sort of anguish Nakahara could never inflict to begin with. To twist the sinews of that rotten heart only for it to begin to beat? To bear witness to that moment, to look him in the eye… That would be truly marvellous. Chūya would relish in that moment if only he could. But it wasn’t in his power.

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[nyewka]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* L i l y *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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“You shouldn’t listen to the words of a clown.”

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Dazai Osamu manga icons

like/reblog if you save/use!

© minamkou on twitter ☀ᬾྀ

[nyewka]

Author's Notes: “To think, even for just a moment, that I deserved to live or smile out of genuine happiness.. was a mistake. I shouldn't love or be loved. It is a grave sin that I bare alone.”

Written at 11:13 A.M.

Angst drabble: “A small spark was all I needed. A reminder that you shouldn't love me.”

Nobody.

Same spot. Same time. From the early morning of 7 A.M. sharp you would gaze longingly out at the ocean. The sun rising to its peak to start the day. You weren't exactly a fan of the ocean either. You hated water in fact. But the reasoning behind gazing mindlessly at the never ending stretch of glistening liquid wasn't to admire it's scenery. No. It was to remind you that you were like the ocean. Flowing non-stop and offering your shoulder to cry on. Giving people joy where you could in their lives. Then they leave you. They always did.

And just as the water levels would go down, killing off unexpected creatures that inhabited it, so did you. You often would feel too low on energy to give people what they needed. That shoulder to cry on. The listening ear when they needed someone to hear them out. To take their burdens away. To be validated. Then leaving you when they got what they desired. When you felt low like this, you often pushed them away out of spite. Out of anger. Resentment. Why? When a few did reach out to be your support.. and you resent them for it.

Because it felt like a handout. A result out of pity. So you shut them out. Until you were now utterly alone. That strange woman who looks oh so adorable in the distance, but when you approach her, she gives off an unsettling aura that you should stay away. That's you. You are that unsettling woman. After years of being told so, you began to believe it. Therefore, it became your reality. It defined you.

He saw something else. And when he did approach you, he was staring as if searching for something in your eyes. Looking at you with a warm honeyed brown gaze that matched the serene background of the sunset. It irritated you that such a beautiful man would look at you in such a admiring way.

You said nothing to him, and would walk past him. For awhile this went on. He saw you coming to the same spot. The same time. And he would gaze at you the same way. Not a single word left his lips. As if testing you. Again, you walked past him.

“You really intend to ice me out?”

The soft clashing of waves sounded when you stopped abruptly to turn around. Face to face. Inches away, with your eyes staring into his. You felt a light flutter in your chest and nearly fell back when he caught you by the waist.

“Now, now.. I know I'm stunningly handsome. But maybe you could try staying conscious until after dinner?”

You hated this feeling. It wasn't meant for you. This was a simple bodily reaction. With cold hands, you shoved him away to flee the scene. He didn't see you for days after that incident.

Dazai didn't stop visiting that same spot. At the same time. Hoping he could get another reaction out of you. To see that glimmer in your void filled eyes. The flush of pink dusting your sweetheart cheeks. What a darling face he wished to see again he thought to himself.

One day, at the same spot. The exact time. It was raining light showers across the sky. A lovely setting to a romance a lady. And there you were — lying motionless on the sand. The waves lapping at your cold soaked body. His smile quivered as his stare lingered on your unmoving body. If he waited long enough, he could trick himself into seeing your chest rise and fall.

So he did just that. Watching your cold body in the rain. Waiting for you to wake up and walk past him like you always did. Without a single word exchanged. Dazai never got to know you. Nor did he ever hear your voice. The moment he laid eyes on you, that solemn distant look in your eyes got his curiosity piqued.

“I was too late from the beginning wasn't I?”

He whispered in a low raspy voice. Hardly audible. You were nobody. To him, you were someone. A woman in pain.

[nyewka]

Worth millions.

Remember that? Back by popular demand. Reworked, improved, but only miserly so. And with chapter two coming soon~

✏ Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs ✏ Characters: Nakahara Chūya, Dazai Osamu ✏ Word count: 3,650 ✏ Warnings: swearing, smoking. ✏ Part I; Part II

Worth millions.

Chūya narrowed his eyes at the figure near on the pier. It was close to midnight and no sane or law-abiding citizen would wonder around those docks alone. He did not expect a fight tonight but would be willing if it come to that. It was, after all, his mess to deal with. And whoever was standing in the way would be crashed by gravity. Chūya took a minute to observe what the person on the pier was doing. If it was some vagabond scaring them away wouldn’t be an issue. At first glance it seemed the figure wondered around the pier aimlessly — looking around to satisfy their curiosity or satiate the desire to observe small beauty of the world, —but only at first. Nakahara didn’t have to waste another minute to understand the person on the pier was looking for clues, evidence. And that was Chūya’s job. Then, it wasn’t a simple-minded wanderer or a drunk wondering in the moonless night. This person had a purpose to be here.

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[nyewka]

ERGO PROXY (2006)

01 ー Pulse of Awakening

[nyewka]

the beauty of characterization

in my opinion:

To me, Dazai is a horrible person, with a minuscule chance of preforming genuine good. I believe he’s adapting, if not beginning to learn what it means to strive for a better purpose. Maybe, because I connect with his personality on a certain level, I believe that he has soft patches as well. Because I do. At the same time, I see him as someone unbelievably immature and caught up in a cruel romanticized version of his own depression.

To me, Chuuya is inherently violent and aggressive when provoked. Perhaps, he’s not perceived that way because of his physical appearance (small and vibrant), or his flamboyant nature. He’s loyal, but blinded by his priorities. Because of his difficult past with the concept of acceptance, his notion of morality is heavily skewed. I do not doubt that he would kill a loved one to remain in the Port Mafia.

To me, Atsushi is condemned to a sorrowful life because of his anxious and emotional temperaments. He seems to find good in everything, which can be a virtue and a destructive ideal at the same time. His inability to comprehend that not everything in this world is a matter of black and white draws him into unnecessary demonstrative arguments. I also relate to Atsushi. I understand how damaging emotions can be if we don’t learn to control them due to personal experiences.

To me, Akutagawa is irrationally competitive. Stemming from a void in his creation, he constantly exhibits a ferocious need to be better than others, even if it implies he is not in control. In his current state, his perspective of trust has been destroyed. It’s difficult to imagine him with a sibling, who he probably doesn’t even fully confide in. He’s obsessive, cruel, and has a drab darwinist outlook in life. It makes him empty.

But, like all art, writing is subjective. The characterization that varies so heavily from published material to the one in fandom writing is based soley off of the perspective each and every person views a character with. These are some of my favorite fictional characters, and I still see them beholding of flaws. It’s due to my connections, my thoughts, my mentality.

That’s it.

The caring, tender, loving version of Chuuya you come across in someone’s writing, may just be a reflection of themselves on an online document.

The sadistic, harsh, unforgiving version of Dazai you come across in someone’s writing, may just be based off of their solicited dislike for him, due to real-word connections.

The wholesome, puritan, angel version of Akutagawa you come across in someone’s writing, may just be a manifestation of someone’s deepest desires.

The prospering, stable, role-model version of Atsushi you come across in someone’s writing, may just be a small part of someone’s lamented goals and irrational biases.

Everything that you think and feel is reproduced into the words you write. Therefore, this leads to my belief that characterization is beautiful because it not only gives us a deeper insight of a character, but of an author as well.

much love,

gigi

[nyewka]

A good chance these have been done before but eh

Click for better quality!

[nyewka]

惡の華

[nyewka]

When was the last time you felt truly happy?

—

I think happiness is tricky since it tend to come or get tangled with other complex and difficult baggage, sometimes even terrible pain and consequences. But maybe that’s the beauty of it. I can’t pursue it, but I can learn to recognize it.

[nyewka]

“DOUBLE BLACK”, the most vicious duo in Yokohama’s underworld that once wiped out an enemy organization of ability users in a single night, shall be resurrected just this once

dedicated to the awesome @karura

[nyewka]

[nyewka]

Stop sending hate for people who are not here to other blogs. Stop sending hate to blogs. Stop trying to bring people down through anon. Stop being rude by sending anon asks. Stop being disrespectful to the people who try their best to make you happy through writing. Stop cancelling everyone's hard work through a hateful message. Stop spreading negativity in a platform everyone is seeking happiness and joy.

Stop.

[nyewka]

I’m napping now

[nyewka]

Thanks for commissioning me❤🙏 (there are others but i wouldn't post it here since it's not tog and bsd related ;u;)