ocanaug

[ocanaug]

the crash out hit astronomical levels because my sister (unemployed) ate my bacon and my brother (also unemployed) ate my fucking bagel. i just got home from work. i have not eaten since the start of my 5:30am shift. its 11:30.

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[ocanaug]

"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god

[ocanaug]

i feel like whenever gothamites accidentally run into batman beating the shit out of someone (or any batfam member tbh), instead of running away they play music.

it rotates from like boss music to edgy depressed shit to the dumbest songs ever. like batman will be fighting some thugs or something and all of a sudden Happy starts playing. he hates it, everyone else eats it up.

once he mentions it, and now someone’s always on the lookout for music playing a little too loudly.

[ocanaug]

just in case anyone is wondering im not 13

[ocanaug]

the symbiotic relationship between tumblr and AO3 should be studied in a lab

[ocanaug]

no you know what you guys are right. reverse league son reveal. Jason comes back to Gotham and does his crime lord thing before tentatively starting a truce and returning to the batfam and one day Dick asks who Bruce’s favourite child is.

Bruce: i love all three of my sons equally.

Jason, without thinking: three? what about Damian?

Bruce:

Tim: who the fuck is Damian

Jason, freezing:

Jason:

Jason:

Bruce: *carefully* Jay, who is Damian?

Jason: I have to leave.

-

Jason, on the phone with Damian: so i ALMOST blew it-

Damian: ?! BUT I AM NOT READY FOR FATHER TO KNOW ABOUT ME YET-

Jason: shut the fuck up i’m older than you- and i said ALMOST. i told them that Damian was the name of my imaginary twin back when i was a kid and that i’d just gotten muddled up after the resurrection.

Jason: so you���re in the clear but when we finally do introduce you, we’re gonna have to say that Talia let me name you and i named you after my imaginary twin.

Damian:

Damian: Ahki please do not tell them that.

Jason: no im gonna. you called me a twat last week. so im gonna.

Damian: god forbid a boy try to expand his vocabulary

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IN THE BATCAVE

Bruce: *sitting at Batcomputer minding his own business*

Jason: *getting ready for patrol*

Dick: *asks nicely*

Dick: Jay, could you hand me my escrimas?

Jason: *deadpans*

Jason: Go get them yourself, Dickface.

Tim: *walks in*

Tim: Jason, could you toss me my bo staff, please?

Jason: *no hesitation, tosses Tim his bo staff*

Dick: *shooketh*

Dick: Why do you help him and not me??? I'm your big bro, Little Wing!

Jason: Middle children have to stay together.

Dick: *confused af because Jay and Tim are his only brothers*

Tim: *curious*

Bruce: *frozen before turning around slowly*

Dick: Jason, you're the only middle child... right?

Jason: *laughs nervously*

Jason: Oh, would you look at that! Crime Alley is calling my name!

Jason: *runs*

---

SOMEWHERE IN NANDA PARBAT

Damian: *sneezes*

Damian: Somebody mentioned me.

---

LATER THAT EVENING

Talia: *on the phone with Bruce*

Talia: What! Me?! Hide a child of yours?!

Talia: *looks at Damian and a picture of Jason*

Talia: Never, Beloved.

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Newly Robin Tim: Thanks for bringing me to my appointment, Dick

Dick, regretting not being closer to Jason but still avoiding Bruce as much as possible: No problem

Dentist: Timothy?

Tim: *goes back*

Dick: *chilling in the otherwise empty lobby*

Dentist: Hey, Dad, are we fine with using fluoride?

Dick: *barely 21, only 9 years older than Tim*

Dick: I— uh— I’m not his— I’m not dad

Dentist: Oh, sorry about that! I’ll just see if he has in the past, no worries!

Dick: okay

Dick, internally: Do I really look old enough to be his dad??? Does she think I would’ve been a teen parent???? Is she surprised I stayed????? Am I a GOOD dad???????

[ocanaug]

Tim Drake is a social chameleon. He can switch personas in the blink of an eye depending on the people around him.

You'd never think the rich socialite Timothy Drake that attends charity galas in a suit that costs more than most people make in a year is the same guy that hangs out at the skate park in ripped jeans, scuffed sneakers and loose band shirts.

He effortlessly switches between being the CEO of a multi-million dollar company to being an annoying little brother. Borderline feral vigilante one second to loving boyfriend the next.

His entire demeanor changes, like he's become a brand new person every time. Heck, he'll even change his accent for shits and giggles. Posh, upper class Bristol becoming the filthiest Crime Alley accent ever to assault your ears.

The whiplash his family experiences every time they interact with him fills him with delight.

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*Someone asks Dick to pass the salt*

Damian: …Grayson, how do you tell apart someone addressing you by the name ‘Dick,’ from one who is insulting you by the genitalia word ‘dick?’

Dick: …Well, um

Jason: He can’t.

Dick: What no, of course I-!

Jason: *maintains eye contact* Trust me, You. Can’t.

Dick: *stares* How often are calling me a Dick and not my name?

Tim: *without looking up from his phone* Oh, it’s usually used synonymously.

Dick:

Damian: I see. *goes back to eating*

Dick: *mentally questions every time someone’s said his name*

[ocanaug]

As the queen falls into a coma during childbirth, she asks the prince consort to entrust her son to her aunt. He defies her, leaving the heir with his cruel cousin. Raised in abuse & unaware of a birthright, one night the child flees the kingdom. Years later, the queen awakes. "Where's my son?"

[ocanaug]

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

[ocanaug]

Im so fucking smart ask me anything

[ocanaug]

It’s time we hash it out about the actual most contentious choice in the show this season.

Some people love it. Some people hate it. Let us achieve consensus.

[ocanaug]

Shifters with animal mannerisms, I think is my favorite thing to write about and see written about

Like yes, give me wolf shifters who lean forward when they want to play

I want to see shifters that rub on their favorite people because they want their scent on that person

Shifters who seem to have more control over their auricular muscles (the muscles that move the ear)

Bird shifters that collect shiny objects and keep a LOT of blankets and pillows on their beds

Actually, pretty much every shifter loves having a 'nest' for lack of a better term

It's almost instinct to make piles of soft things for their mates or family to rest on. Wolves in the wild don't really nest, but they do keep dens, and I think most shifters like stuff like pillow forts/blanket piles/mattress floors (trust me they're cool) because it can mimic the feeling of being protected that dens provide

Shifters (specifically fox, hyena, and wolves) vocalize a lot even in human form. They can be very loud but it's mostly in their shifted form that they do it

Hyena shifters that laugh like hyenas do and love it

Fox shifters that have silver tongues and are insanely good at getting around or out of sticky situations

Shifters that love laying on top of or around their mates because it feels like protecting them.

Shifters that when shifted (sometimes when they're not) bite and gnaw on each other

Bear shifters that go looking for new plants that they might be able to eat, and identifying ones that shouldn't

SHIFTERS THAT CAN DETECT THINGD LIKE BLOOD PRESDURE AND HEART RATE AND BDJADGEUEBEHD

Shifters that go into the medical profession because they can catch things earlier than even a lot of media machinery (I could yap about shifters being medics for so long)

Shifters who subconsciously start trying stuff like deep pressure therapy when they can sense their mates panicking

Shifters who have hyper sensitive necks and lower backs and hate being touched there unexpectedly

shifters who get zoomies in both forms and will shift when it happens in human form because sometimes the feeling of that energy being pent up feels like pins and needles under their skin

Shifters who love getting their hair pet or scratched (stuff like back scratches, arm scratches, anything like that just feels good) it makes them melt every time

[ocanaug]

this whole mutual thing is overhyped on this site. want to send me an ask off anon? do it. want to tag me in a post? do it. follower, mutual, or just random person who stumbled across my blog: I crave interaction and literally do not mind.