old-danmei-fan

[old-danmei-fan]

No one that follows me will probably understand this but fuck I hate picot stitches.

[old-danmei-fan]

This is how I feel whenever I get a comment on Massage Therapy

[old-danmei-fan]

[old-danmei-fan]

Well, Yan Wushi, I'm gonna go ahead and call that one a swing and a miss, good try though buddy

[old-danmei-fan]

Well it's sounds like it's gonna be a fun night for me. Tsunami watch in effect for the west coast of the United States. I don't know if any of my mutuals are located in Russia but I hope everyone there is ok after that earthquake.

[old-danmei-fan]

These are tiny weenies

Not sure if they're called something else in other states, but in Oregon we call them lil smokies. The ones pictured above are a potluck staple and are cooked in a crockpot with BBQ sauce. They are also delicious wrapped in puff pastry and are called pig in a blanket for that iteration.

I didn’t know fondue was a thing outside USA—stupid but i thought it was like, fake cheese that we would melt to dip tiny weenies in. Looked it up and found out it’s Swiss—so probably more people than I realized enjoy it! I would love to try a fondue of local cheese, but that’s not easy to come by where i live. Enjoy yours!

I'm sorry but I am so morally disoriented by the concept of 'fake cheese' that I have trouble focusing on any other aspect of your message. What is fake cheese?? You say that like it's a perfectly understandable and emotionally neutral combination of words. I feel like I've just been handed a koan.

Then you add the phrase “tiny weenies" like it's the logical next step rather than a new psychological event. From my (very French) perspective the sentence "fake cheese to dip tiny weenies in" sounds like such a unique cultural artefact in itself, like a linguistic diorama to be displayed in a vitrine. This is not meant as a negative judgment of you or your country! just my earnest ethnographic confusion as I try to grapple with the concept of "tiny weenies" from a place of "fake cheese" trauma...

I had no idea fondue was seen this way in the US—I thought we (as a species) had a collective working definition of it, a sort of global consensus like the commutative property of addition, so the idea that in some corners of the world "fondue" means “fake cheese to dip tiny weenies in” has made me remember that you can just flay language off reality like skin. There's also a non-zero chance for this phrase to have activated a sleeper agent in Lausanne and authorised targeted elimination under the Académie Française’s emergency powers.

The concept of fondue now feels violently theoretical but I wish you many delicious ones in the future though :) You have politely disintegrated a couple of foundational concepts I'd never realised I relied on, which is always enriching. I won't recover, but thank you for sending this!

[old-danmei-fan]

I started reading a longer TGCF fic for the first time in a while today and holy shit the die hard TGCF fans sure do get pissy if the fic isn't cannon compliant.

It's an omegaverse fic and there's readers bitching at the author in the comments about how the fic isn't realistic because HC would never share XL in canon.

Fucking duh. You're reading Omegaverse.

[old-danmei-fan]

I keep thinking about yuetian in a sugar daddy situation because it’s a sad lonely younger man that wants to be taken advantage of financially and a much older man that wants to have a good time and be spoiled

[old-danmei-fan]

So I crochet as a hobby and I love to make gifts for people. I'm currently working on several Christmas presents and I just finished this one. I'm sharing it here because the person I'm gifting it to follows me everywhere else.

The pattern is by PurrlyStitches on Etsy

[old-danmei-fan]

Yuan's inner mother hen has woken up. Previous page and also this

[old-danmei-fan]

I don't know what kind of drugs Ehann injects into their scum villain fics but it's addicting whatever it is. I've read them all before but I have been rereading them all again the last week or so and I cant stop.

[old-danmei-fan]

i love finding out what degrees my mutuals have. like what the fuck do you mean you do law? you’re a doctor who blog

[old-danmei-fan]

✨SPIN THE WHEEL TO GET YOUR CHARACTER✨

[old-danmei-fan]

I haven't finished Split the Difference!

[old-danmei-fan]

For years dudebros on tiktok tried to convince me that ‘ObViOuSLy Gojo ISNT gay’ when apparently they don’t even know what tops and bottoms are. This whole time

[old-danmei-fan]

Ok, instead of channeling Shen Jiu, I'm going for cucumber bro with this one. Buckle up bitches.

OG Luo Binghe was a bad person BUT HE WAS NOT A WOMANIZER

His fist sexual experience was that dumb Qin bitch that got poisoned and was all "oh I don't wanna die a virgin *sob sob* too bad there's no one to fuck me down in this field" side eyes Binghe.

Binghe didn't want to fuck her. And you know what he did when he got out of the abyss? He married her stupid ass because in those times she would have been a "ruined woman".

Every bitch in that harem was there because they were "wife plotted" and got hit with aphrodisiacs that Luo Binghe felt obligated to cure because he was the only cure. He married them so they would have security and stability because in ancient fucking China like every other civilization, if a woman fucked around before marriage they were ruined goods and would t be able to get a husband.

Luo Binghe was the one getting taken advantage of, not the other way around.

Yes he was probably a shitty father but we don't know for sure because airplane didn't write about his goddamn kids, just the fucking that led up to the kids.

Yes he was manipulative because that's how he learned to survive his shitty fucking childhood.

Yes the torture was bad but Jesus Christ Shen Jiu was fucking evil to that kid.

His sword was literally a fuck or murder sword that was attached to him like Xuan Su was to Yue Qingyuan. The chicks in his harem were fighting each other to get to the heavenly pillar.

The last time that guy got any sort of unconditional love was from the washer woman. None of those bitches loved him so why is he expected to be a loving husband in return? Look at what happened when he got a little taste of it from Shen Qingqiu/Yuan. He begged him to come with him back to his universe.

[old-danmei-fan]

Also, while I'm on a hater roll right now. Why the fuck does Pei Ming get so much hate for fucking around? Like you can fuck without being in a committed relationship. Isn't that part of the aro spectrum? I was under the impression you can be both hypersexual and aromantic. My boy gets too much hate for wanting to fuck.