oneandocey

[oneandocey]

Dam

I envy you,

Towering wall of grey,

Shackle of the river,

If I could only control,

My stream of consciousness,

Dry out the riverbed of sin,

Thirst the soil and rot it's fruits,

Might my destruction,

Finally make me good?

[oneandocey]

Your love is killing me,

God how I wish you would,

That I may love you as another man,

Who doesn't write,

About your love like a poison.

[oneandocey]

Veneer

Glossy white,

On teeth like rotten oak,

Worn away,

From candied words,

Too sweet to taste,

Still here we both are,

Addicted to the sugar.

[oneandocey]

The poetry lied to me

Loving is not like breathing at all,

It's not simple or automatic,

It hurts and hurts,

But everytime you have to,

Need to,

Choose it again,

Because that one time where you get it right,

Might, maybe just be worth the pain,

How could anything like that,

Be like anything else?

[oneandocey]

Unyielding

A soft breeze kisses my cheeks,

As the sun nestles into the rooftops below mine,

How long have I dreamed of this,

Standing on a balcony,

All the world below me,

Nothing more above,

...

Nothing,

Is that the realm I roam now,

I paid my due in steps,

Now I know not where to place my next,

I can hardly walk on clouds,

Is this the prize for my hard work,

To be done, without another step to take,

No, I will not yield to fate,

There is always ground,

I must only fall.

[oneandocey]

The Journey

Dark waves rocked the boat,

Salt corroded moonlit metal,

As it had the captain's leathery face,

'I'm headed for the new world,'

I'd said as I flashed my ticket,

The old captain had muttered in knowing agreement,

Like the ocean that gurgled below our vessel,

And as I stood, clutching the railing,

I saw how full the moon was shining,

Slave to it's orbit,

I shuddered at the thought.

[oneandocey]

Habits

Standing in the kitchen,

Cleaning cups shaped like cats,

The humming from my too old fridge,

No, from myself,

A song,

The lyrics of which I never fully learned,

Dampened by humid air,

Laden with spices soiled by moisture,

Still half dirty dishes dry in their rack,

You don't notice,

Or don't care,

And I didn't notice you talking,

Or didn't care,

About taking out trash, or a new hobby,

Something like that,

I drop the cup, an accident,

Or something like that,

Neither one of us reacts,

It's not in our habits to feel,

Or maybe our feelings have been reduced to habits,

Who knows,

Something like that.

[oneandocey]

You cheat me

Love born out of obligation,

Loyalty at best,

Be with me,

Not for righteousness,

As cheating would be wrong,

But of love,

Must we really stand here,

Two sorrow saints with broken hearts,

Honour bound to die together,

Yet alone save for the memory,

Of the ghosts thay we once loved?

[oneandocey]

The life that got away

In a life,

Not quite my own,

Where it's other lands I roam,

Could I recognize my name,

Even if correctly spelled,

Even if it's loudly yelled,

Or does that stranger,

Who is not me,

Nor could he ever again be,

Bear the name that you once offered,

Wear the ring which you once proffered,

Does his heart beat for you there,

Or does denial plague him too,

Words we wish that we had said, "I love you".

[oneandocey]

So much done,

Much more to do,

Buried in work,

And on top of that,

The laundry's due.

[oneandocey]

Box

One day I'll fit neatly in a box,

They'll dig out a place where I belong,

And define me in a headstone,

Maybe there is peace in that ultimate label,

"Dead",

I'll figure it out like the rest,

Eventually.

[oneandocey]

Past life

He's demanding answers,

The boy I was,

From a man I've not become,

I shout back,

To no response,

From the child I don't remember,

He wasn't calling for me,

And I not for him,

Maybe time has warped us,

Like a fun house mirror,

Or maybe we're both just disappointed,

In myself.

[oneandocey]

If I let you laugh,

About me,

Maybe I can pretend,

That I made you happy,

After all.

[oneandocey]

Cup(id)

You have touched my heart,

Left fingerprints on it's bends and folds,

Marked like a favourite mug,

Still I am filled with love,

Brimming with warmth,

Hoping one day,

To touch your lips again.

[oneandocey]

Modern war

They weaponized my brain,

Chemical warfare,

I thought that was a crime,

How am I supposed to fight,

The thoughts you put inside my head?

[oneandocey]

Not brave, just alive

Brick wall,

Bruised head,

No matter what,

I'll get through this,

Concussed and bloody,

You call me names,

Brave, foolish, stubborn,

All wrong,

Wall or not,

What other choice do I have,

But to go on?

[oneandocey]

Silent storms

Suddenly,

In the same way that lightning,

From a storm you knew was coming,

Still shakes you when it arrives,

We had nothing to talk about,

Perhaps we'd already said it all,

Used up the words,

And now all we had left was silence,

And the painful hindisght,

That I'd like to have said something different,

Before I ran out of things to say.