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[ontmend]

**to the tune of 'I can hear it coming in the air tonight' oh f^¥k** I can feel it, moving in my head and face. Oh F^¥k. Face update. Strange, unwanted sensation at the moment. Things have been coming out that probably definitely should never be up there in the first place. Good I suppose that they are not finding a home up there but still gross and strange. I'm only day 8. Which really isn't long but it feels like forever. I kinda know that I'm gonna have to do this again. But for now I'm just trying to relax. I think our modern medicine mite have to take a back seat though and I could pursue a different route. One of herbs, flowers and mud.... or some shit like that. Ohmmm I feel like I need to leave life to get a hold back on mine too. Everyday stress and life just destroys me. I need to become a monk and just zone the zen f^¥k out a little. But how does one do that? Man. This sucks. And it's bed time. Which also sucks. M

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So for one reason or another, I decided not to blog the operation. My blog posts are sporadic as they are. So I guess I’m just keeping it real…

So yip, I’ve been in. First I must say. The Queen Elizabeth in Birmingham. Wow. Just. Wow. I had the best care ever. Ive been in numerous hospitals, all over Europe but QE. Wow. And yeah, There was super fast FREE wifi :) Which just made it even more unreal. Back to reality. All the nurses, doctors, cleaners, people I met or had look after me in the 32 Hours stint. Thank You. And you are AWESOME! Just plain unreal. Really made sure I was in the most comfortable, happy, healthy situation I could ever be in. They really did the best job ever! And big shout to Mr Beech. Fantastic job. You rock!

So, operation number 4…. in just around 5 years. Every year I have to go through the same ordeal. Mind going overtime. I love my family. And to get through any operation however big or small is massive. All sorts of things can go wrong. So just to be able to wake up, and hear my daughters voice again is massive. I know that its not going to end here. These polyps are here to stay. Im sure of it.I have no idea why they have come along. Just out of the blue, out of nothing, just appeared. But isn’t that what illnesses do? Not even my doctors can explain why. We have tried all sorts of things to help. But nothing bloody does. ever. But from now on, I’m not gonna be down about it. I’m going to do my best to stay as upbeat as life allows. 

Wednesday 22nd March. Left home for the 3 hour drive to Birmingham. The M6 was rubbish, even in the early hours of the morning that we left. I had to be there 7am sharp. Or so I thought. Nope, ambulatory services wont open until 7:30am. We got there early. around 6:30am. So yeah we had a little wait on our plate. 7:30am comes, and me along with a sea of others get ushered into a reception area where we get squirted with some disinfectant stuff. I found that hilarious! So escorted to my recovery area for later in the day along comes thee Mr Beech. After a short conversation about the early wake and trip down it was decided that I would be in Birmingham for the night. Something that turned out to be the best decision ever made by mankind. I was number 3. And my time slot was around 11:30am. Going back to previous operations I knew that the procedure is relatively straight forward and I would be solid gone for around 45mins while I’m excavated. Not this time. So I impatiently waited with really poor 3g service (had no idea about the amazing wifi at this point) while the guy next to me went first in line for his Polypectomy. Yeah I guess he was a larger possibly less fit guy than me, but in 2 hours time when he came back from the recovery area, I got a tad nervous. He looked as if he had been kicked in the face by a planet. Puffy eyes and bloody nose. The moans and groans just rounded the whole experience off. This was the chaps first Polypectomy (I overheard the information before he went to theatre) So maybe he just had no idea what to expect? So yeah, at some point, subject number 2 had been whisked off and maybe brought back… I have no idea… Cant remember seeing him? But my turn came. Operation gown on, 100% cotton pants on and a lovely smiling nurse, I think her name was Rachel, Came to escort me to theatre along with Dave. On the bed I jumped and Dave took the wheel. The last operation I had I actually walked to the operating table, which was pretty intense and quite surreal. So the ride was bliss. Scott from Devon and Lucy from Llanelli were next. They were just like a comedy duo. With grade A banter. Apparently Scott forgot to sign his last patient in. We had a chuckle, what a lad. They stayed with me as we went onwards to the sleeping chamber :) or the room they drop you with whatever the hell is in that anaesthetic potion. WOW. Whatever it was, I really would love some more. It took longer that the 15 count for me to feel it which was quite funny, hearing the tick tock but then from nothing, from the feet up I felt as if I was being strung up by the toes a million miles in the air. Eyes closed and POOF. 

The wake up. The effing wake up. Recovery room is usually great. Had 2 really sweet nurses looking after me. One was new and being trained by the other. What a great job she was doing too. But I remember shivering. I wasn’t cold. Or I don’t remember the cold sensation, could be that I was still under the druuuugs. But they covered me in the most amazingly warm blanket. But It felt that it covered not just me, but the whole world. It was comfy and smooth. Heaven in a recovery room. But after all the questions were asked and somehow answered half cut then with a blink Mr Beech appeared. “That, was needed” Were the only words I remembered. But I just wanted to give him a hug with my global warmth. I didn’t know if he needed it, but he deserved it. Obviously I couldn’t really move so had no chance. I just knew then that he had done spiffingly. Excavation complete and recovery on track. 2 and a half hours I was out for. Had no idea me nostrils were so large. So back to my OWN room now and t minus 30 for sleep time. I just had to, shattered and in pain I went out like a light for a few hours.

And so now nearly a week later, I’m just about getting there. Still tired and In some kind of pain. But recovery is most def on track. Who knows how long they will stay away, I hope to keep you in the loop, and I hope you will get in that loop. 

Life is very very difficult with Nasal Polyps. Only us with Nasal Polyps will understand this but Life really can be difficult. Everything you do revolves around you breathing through your nose. Go on, even for a few hours, close up your nostrils however you can, pop your ears, and hit your face on a brick wall 10-15 times. See how you can comfortably live, function, work, love, happy, sad, cry, kiss, laugh, love, live like this. You’ll struggle. No doubt.

M

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Great news…. There’s a cancellation. Yip its operation time yet again! These bastard polyps giving me the run around, so I’ve decided enough is enough and they are coming out. It’s operation number three… so I think I know what to expect. But you never know… It’s a bit of a bum as I’ve just started a new job and I’m not all that happy with having to take time off so soon. But I’ve got to do whatever I’ve got to bloody do! Health is the most important. No one realizes how having a constant blocked nose can effect your every waking moment. I’m fed up, so let’s hope things change now. I’m going in for a pre op this week then it’s early doors next week for the operation. Fingers crossed.

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So here we go again. On route to the QE for a super advanced mechanical electronic supersonic CT scan... A scan that's going to be soooo integral for my oncoming operation. Yes, I've given it the go ahead. I'm on the waiting list. I'm impatiently being a patient. I'm looking forward to it. I'm dreading the aftermath. I've been through 3 operations now all because my nostril are is a bloody bastard. There's no reason why, and I still find it difficult to explain to people. But once explained, they wish they never asked. But back to today... The scan... This scan. Apparently I can ask for my images from it? I'm so doing that! Would love to see the mess that's in there. But the scan from today will somehow be used as a map of my sinus cavity when the surgeon is there doing his thang!! That's what was missing from my other operations. My previous surgeon was great. A really nice dude and I trusted him completely going inside my head... But hours after my last operation fair play he came and spoke to me and explained that he really could not do much.... Too much red stuff and no idea where he was going. So it was him who advised I follow the route to the QE and use their resources and equipment. So a year later and here we are. In waiting... I'm at the point of contempt now though. I'm trudging along daily with a struggle... The same struggle that haunts all us chronic illness sufferers. The uber humans.... If you guys get a sniffle your out for the count... I wouldn't wish our struggles on anyone. Needless to say the Asprin desensitisation hasn't been the life changing, simple, unbelievable trial that was expected for me. Hey it's kept the headaches at bay and I'm kinda gonna say it's held away the swelling... But it's done fuch all for the stubborn shits growing and bubbling and mutating and exploding. I'm going to keep with it after the operation though. I've still go hope. Perhaps that's all I'll live with while I suffer in silence (yeah whatevs my wife would say). But hope is something that millions of us live with, understand and embrace. But let's not get to fucking emotional now. Out. MT

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Stuffy, blocked, runny and painful. Have I been kicked in the face by a horse? It sure does feel like it! My sinus are back to a constant throb. It's weird, the bubbling feeling is back also. I mentioned that earlier but it seems to be coming more often now. There is plenty of congestion on both sides and intermittent pain. It's a sharp, quick stabbing pain that occurs on both cheeks and above the eyes. I don't seem to be getting the headaches which is a plus I guess. But the congestion I'm having now while being on theses trials is completely different to before. It feels as if the inside of the nostril is covered with something which has no movement at all. But the polyps are definitely smaller now and don't come out of the nostril as much. I used to be able to see them if I looked in the mirror but I cannot now. I seem to be able to smell things but I have to really inhale through the nose which is quite difficult and painful. The discharge seems to be completely different too. Before it was long, stringy, elastic band like porridge but now, it seems to be quite normal but very green and 'lumpy'. I kinda need answers. I'm going back to the consultant soon hopefully. And I'll be sure to read all my posts and give them bits to work with. But maybe things have to get worse before they get better. I was pretty down and depressed in my last post. I'm feeling a little better with myself now but still have my moments. Don't we all. Matt x

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It's crazy how things change so fast. A few days ago things seemed to be good. No, better than good. Life was great. I could finally see some change. I had something to look forward too and I could actually start to enjoy just being again. I had the hopes that I've been thinking about for so long finally in touching distance. There would be no need for the everyday frustrations that bombard me daily to annoy me again. Now there are people way worse off than myself, or is Polyp sufferers ( of which there are an amazing amount. I've just added myself to a group on facebook and you should read about the struggles there!!!!!) <-(I never know if the !!!! Should go inside or outside the () <- ) Back to it... But bloody hell my life is a struggle. And that's not to mention the usual crap life stuff. The constant ear toning or tinnitus or to tttttiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (over and over and over all day every day) is back. I just noticed it a few hours ago. And it's probably not going anywhere soon. I think it actually came after my nielmed nasal douche that I just had.... it felt as if the water was going to come out of my ears not the next nostril!! The headaches. Oh the f****** headaches. The feeling of being kicked by a horse at the back of your head. While there is a cold ring circuit my head around the ear/eye level ( yip I've explained this to my consultants and they were properly baffled). And at the same time my under face, yep you guys who are polyps sufferers will hopefully understand the 'underface' term. I actually feel like I have a face, under my face. And this face moves. And more grossly bubbles. And twitches. And leaks. The depression. Well I don't know if it is your usual, general depression feeling. Cause I personally wouldn't describe myself as being depressed. But there are times when everything gets me down and stuff is just way too heavy. I guess it's just the frustration playing a massive role in it. I mean go on, breath in through your nose.... and out through your mouth. Relaxing isn't it. It feels great. It really reduces any kind of stress or panic that your going through.... imagine not being able to. There are days when all I want to bloody do is.... breath in through the nose.... and out through the mouth. It's not difficult. It certainly should not be a luxury. It's a part of being here. The embarrassment off your nose dripping or 'clicking' when your trying to talk to someone. Giving your loved ones a kiss and leaving them with some snot. Constantly having to think if you have clean tissues. Wondering if anyone can actually see the monstrous bulge creeping out of your nostril. Not being able to smell if you stink. Letting off a silent and hoping it's not too violent. Struggling to hear people so not bothering to join into conversation. Not being able to smell my 6 year old daughter. Worrying if my heads going to explode from the pressure that seems to be sucking my head in at the ears. I'm on one now.... and I'm so tired of it.

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So I got a little hasty with my last post... I'm telling you, this is destroying me, emotionally. Draining every last drop of my emotions. Overhauling my frustration and bloody leg dropping me in the face. On moment I'm blocked, pissed off and bloody confused. The next moment I'm getting an explosion of salt and vinegar along with my lunch time sandwich. I don't know if this is called winning or losing? How long is this gonna by to last? Am I going to feel worse for a bit then get better? Is the smell going to stay while my nose is blocked? Maybe the polyps will only grow in the one side? Maybe they won't grow to the size they were before? Who knows... I practically have a strange constant lingering smell and taste at the moment too. And I can't quite figure out if it's fruity or not. Am I going to recognize smells? I mean I've been without them for a while now. Should I expect them to just reappear and life will happily carry on or am I going to have to relearn them? I used to have a grade A sense of smell. As a chef I could smell if my soup needed more salt, or how sweet my cheesecake mixture was. It's hard work when something your good at gets compromised in such a way that your far from good now. Confidence is such a large chinch of existence and attitude. It characterizes you, molds you and influences you massif-ly. When it's drained from your very existence then what the hell are you to do? I'll explain.

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Frustrating. It's December 6th. And the right side nostril is again full of polyps. How could they come back? I'm still on steroids and just hit the limit of 10 sprays of Asprin! I really thought this was going to fix me? It's surely been long enough to see some improvement. But I could feel it yesterday, it's a funny kind of feeling that feels like your face is moving. Behind your actual face. Bubbling up just between the eyes. I was hoping that it was just the cold weather affecting me. But obviously not. I don't know what to do next. I'm out of steroids tomorrow and the spray won't go up into the right side nostril. I'm beat.

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What's that smell!?! So after 6 long years of struggling to smell even the most potent pong... I am now bombarded with wifs left right and center! I have been working at my new place now for 6 months and I had no, idea, the stench my fellow colleagues deal with daily... they really should have told me to invest in some better deodorant! (There's a distant stench of turkey poop coming from a factory down the road, the bit about nasty pits was a joke) But I'm getting all kinds of smells now... It's so much fun! I'm up to eight in each nostril which is quite a large amount of juice... and there's a slight sting when applying... but hey it's bloody worth it! You take breathing through the nose for granted... it's such a relaxing thing to do... it calms you down and really makes you take a step back. This is something that I have been unable to do for the last few months, well since my last operation in April. But today I really felt the goodness it brings. I woke with them quite the opposite. Both sides were blocked and I was suffering with a splitting pressure headache just between the eyes. I was concerned of course, I thought that something was going wrong... but as the morning progressed things started to clear and by mid afternoon I was smelling again. But I'm still unsure why the blockage occurred. I can't think of having anything the night before that would have triggered it. I can usually tell with different food and drinks what will set my allergies (if that's what it is) off. But I don't know what happened this time. I'm thinking it could have been a difference with the weather also... Who's to know? 8 sprays again in the morning and a couple of steroid tablets and let's crack on with the day. I'll be sure to keep you updated. MW

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Thought I'd share a snap from my recent road trip and weekend away at families! Love New Mills! Such a nice place! Taken with Sony A6000, edited on my iPhone 6s Plus using Sony Play Memories and Snapseed app.

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BBQ sauce is the best smell ever! So today, 27th November 2016, exactly 2 weeks after starting my Asprin Desensitization my sense of smell is slowly coming back. I have been having strange sensations for the last couple of days but as I was making a coffee for the trip home from Manchester this morning I was bowled over by such a most beautiful aroma! A strong, dark, americano aroma! After screaming like a little girl and burying my nose in my cup nearly drinking it through my nose I searched around for other strong smells! Mulled wine fairy was next! But nothing could compare to to the BBQ sauce! That was next!... I love my food. I love grill food. I love BBQ sauce. I have been eating it and thinking I've smelled it too in the last 2 1/2 years that I have been unable to smell. But today blew my mind!... Let's have a bit of background now. I'm up in 7 sprays... not to far from the maximum dose. That's going to be in 5 days. I have the utmost confidence that by then I'll be feeling a lot better, well no... I have no idea how I'll feel. I had no idea that I would be smelling today. It has honestly blown my mind. Happy is an understatement. MW

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Status Update (said in an American twang) 6 and counting! Yep up to 6 sprays this morning! Quite a lot of potion that's going into the nose now! But it's not uncomfortable at all! It's the hanging upside down for ages afterwards. Today was different though. I've definitely felt a different reaction towards it. Not much to do with the chest or nasal congestion but with taste. I have a constant taste of powdery Asprin which as you can tell isn't nice. Along with a very strange tummy! Sticky feeling but not a throwing up feeling. Very weird! Mentally I'm feeling different too. Very much more awake or switched on. How long it lasts I don't know! Let's see what happens next! MW

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Moving on up!! On to 4 sprays now! Which I guess is maybe half a tab? I've been using less water in the mixture too, maybe it will effect the outcome I don't know. Not much of a reaction this morning. Maybe a slight touch of numbness in the back of the throats but nothing major. I am taking 30mg of Prednisolone steroids as I could feel the polyps growing back slowly. That felt like a massive kick in the teeth. My polyps are so aggressive I knew that it would not be long before they return. I've another 2 weeks on the tabs now so I'm hoping that's long enough for the Asprin to take affect! Have no idea what's next if it does not. MW

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Quick update for you! No image today as I've forgot to do one! Watch tele and played FIFA do been waay to busy!! Didn't feel it today. Moved up to 3 sprays and didn't feel a thing! Concerning... the whole process could have been to rushed this morning? I just don't know. I tried to get it mashed in before running off to work so it could be that I didn't give it enough time to settle. Problem is now though that I can feel the polyps slowly growing again and the nasal passages getting smaller. This was my biggest concern about this whole procedure. As we decided that there would be no operation, just trying to control with medicine then there was the possibility that they would grow after the first course of prednisone. That's exactly what is happening. I know my polyps. They are stubborn, menacing, enthusiastic little bastards that won't stay hidden for long. It seems that another course at prednisone is needed. I'll get them tomorrow from the out of hours clinic in Hereford before work and get straight in them. Fingers crossed there will be some sort of airway to get the Asprin in tomorrow morning. I'll keep moving on with it and see what I feel tomorrow. I'm probably not going to update here as I'm thinking this needs to be an 'every couple of days' kinda thing. It would get boring if I was here every day. I'll try to update with a photograph too. Ok time to sleep! Thanks for reading! MW

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As I was leaving the QE Hospital Birmingham last night it looked like this....<-

Day 2 of Asprin Desensitivity....

Today went pretty well. My first time mixing up my potent potion of powerful powder was a complete success (honestly all I had to do was boil a kettle and dissolve some powder in 10 ml of water a bloody ant would be able to do it)

The spray bottle that came from the hospital has this HUGE nozzle that has to go most way up the nostril (way to much info) which kinda can be painful. But well worth it.

So a few seconds after I spray this stuff that I’m allergic to into myself then guess what happens.... Yip I have a reaction (yey). Yeah no lie, I was hoping I would get a reaction so that I would have some idea that this could possibly work. It was a very minor reaction, as if I had eaten a throat pastille. You know the ones you have when your swallowing razor blades. Just that kind of numbness.

It lasted all of 5 60 seconds and then passed. So thats what happens after a very minute dose... then I’m left wondering what will happen when the dosage is multiplied by 10.

I’ve decided to create a table that will allow me to document my results from my Peak & Flow meter (you asthma people will reeeeally know what this is) along with the sprays talken and my immediate feelings afterwards. As this process SHOULD last all of 4 years then it should be quite an interesting read at some point in the future. 

Im increasing the dose tomorrow to 2 sprays (swoon) so lets see if I’m alive to watch Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here in the evening. 

Regards

MW

(sniff, cough, splutter)

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We came, we snorted, we left.... Took this image while waiting for my appointment at the QE Hospital Birmingham. Today started my unlicensed and experimental trials of Asprin Desensitization and tribulations. The ENT consultants that I'm dealing with are so happy and excited about this trials that it's difficult not to be hopeful. Today however was a massive success. After dosing up on Asprin (such a minute amount) I've had no reaction regarding Asthma related symptoms as of yet. And I'm sure as it's been a few hours since the Asprin entered my nose then I'm out of the woods by now! Doses should be increased every other day until a specific number of sprays can be tolerated. Then it's just ongoing! Today I learned how to mix the solution and clean the apparatus. But I guess this starts all over again tomorrow when I take the dose for the second day. Each day could bring different experiences. So that's going to be fun! Keep an eye out for future posts as I'll probably post a quick video or something on mixing the Asprin solution and distribution to the nasal areas... more commonly called nostrils. MW

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Got my gear ready to rock tomorrow wish me luck! Aspirin Desensitization for the nation 👌🏻👌🏻 A little background (not much though but here's the jist) I've been a Polyps, Asthma, hardwork suffererrer for the past 6! Years.... 6 long tough headachey nose runningy frustrating and smell free years... annoying myself and most importantly the wife... See that's the thing.... I'm not a silent sufferrerrer... if I have man flu then you'll know about it!!! But after a load of different meds and sprays... something happened (check below) Around 2 months ago I was told 'I'll fix you, you have an allergy to aspirin.... all you have to do is (dot dot dot) take Aspirin. Well tomorrow I'm taking a day off work (yey) traveling 63 miles or 100 kilometers to take some French Asprin.... French unregistered and kinda illegal Asprin... that is take through the nose! So this will hopefully be a journey... let's find out shall we?