oogysblog - Tumblr blog

[oogysblog]

I’m really sad right now I think I met him maybe even her, I dunno, but I felt them they were there in my dream right now I felt them.

I want them around I want more of that feeling I hope they felt the same with me I hate for it to be one sided

I miss them the person I’ve never met but I’ve always loved and will continue to.

I’m scared that I’ll never get to hold them in my arms.

I love them so much.

If you’re reading this I love you I miss you I’ll wait for you

See you soon

[oogysblog]

I have darker feelings sad mad Brad.

But journaling is not something I want to do because it’s like it feels not good but I know it is good?

So I making a compromise!

Imma doodle my fee fees, the dark fees fees

But I want to show my dark feelings love and respect so they don’t get out of hand! Why I have no idea I am at an all time low and I just don’t have the capacity to create any more.

So I’ll create this sorry to say I’ll also be like taking pictures and editing over them! Like I’ll give reference but I just am so empty when it comes to anything

It’s not other people’s are just like scenes from anime or like movies stuff I really like.

This place is that outlet I don’t have in life.

Therapy is taking to long to get to the root of everything

Because I only have 45 minutes and too much to say and so much to feel

Anyways just another idea to toss into the void hopefully the void likes this one!

[oogysblog]

It’s my birthday 🥳 🎂 l 🎉

[oogysblog]

Sooooo I just am coming straight out with it, I am writing this blog by playing a character!

I won’t deny a decent percent of it is accurate to my life the the other percentages is all creative liberties some you could tell right off the back others are just waiting there to be interpreted

There will be no medium I won’t tackle, writing art audio, whatever tickles my fancy.

But I need to make it within three days at most.

I can’t promise posting everyday I don’t have it in me but I give myself at three days in my head space before posting something as simple as a emoji or a dot.

I am trying to get in the habit, to get myself used to creating rather than consuming.

This is me having fun but it is also me being real, so although I’ll have this space be a comfortable and safe one doesn’t mean i don’t have my down days.

I will let you know it’s a down day so you can keep your own mental health in check but hey we can all be down together, no comparing just understanding.

We are all going through shit.

Anyways I know no one is here and I’m talking to the void, but I think I’m okay with that for now. I don’t know who I am without other people to begin with so doing what I want and enjoy best way to meet people no?

So this is part fandom part this story part just stuff I want. I’m not really a reblogger nor do I expect people to reblog me.

Honestly I’ll take a comment over a like! Hearing other perspectives is fun!

That’s it just letting you all know.

[oogysblog]

Draven just spoke to me!

Now I know it’s official he is both fire and air

While I am water and earth!

A romance unnaturally birthed

Not once have we yet met

But I wager a bet

It is in this life we meet

Through wind, a Butterfly a chime a bird any air filled thing

Where inside my mind it rings

Through the twinkling warmth of flame,

even those of mechanical birth a fire that won’t sting

A song not a piece of your flesh did sing,

Calling to you like some alien beacon

Across realities we’ve already meet.

Closer and closer

Through willing suffered impatience

When face to face we greet

[oogysblog]

I am being vey serious right now. I am looking at you people who are seeing this.

Teach me how to be a hacker or something please.

Thank you

[oogysblog]

If none of you realize that it’s me here without me having to say it then that makes me sad.

To be frank i am not trying to hide who i am I just haven’t found the one place i can be myself.

I always create a mask to be able to interact.

But I don’t want to do that anymore.

I think that’s why for now I don’t want eyes on me. No worries about being perceived, because all I can ever think I would ever be perceived is incorrect.

So just so anyone who is out there who does know me, this is honestly who I truly am, none of these things are lies they are still my truths.

Truths I told before I just wonder how many actually listened.

Going to start talking about Draven more.

I think more people would be interested. I don’t know his real name or title or what have you. This is the name I called him as a child and it has stuck.

[oogysblog]

Hello! Eventually love prevails

[oogysblog]

BLOOD 🩸 bleh bleh bleh

[oogysblog]

I keep on running away when it’s time to start opening up to people I think I’m really scared.

Sometimes I wonder if I should open up on here if I actually socialize with people here one day.

But then I think it might be good? Like letting people know you can get past the dark times? That I too have dark times. That it’s okay to be open here?

Like I’m not a therapist I won’t be able to help like people need. But I genuinely care I really want to be sure people are happy people are okay I want to take care of people.

I don’t even care if the people I take care of don’t return the favor as long as I have like one person.

I just want to have that one person.

I used to have them, but then we hurt each other and despite everything being better, we made amends I can trust them now.

I just can’t trust them with my everything you know? I want someone I can trust with my everything because I swear I’ll take care of their everything.

You know sometimes I think I found them. I think I found them when I was twelve, or around that time at least.

They protected me when I was scared.

The only problem was I was asleep, or half asleep.

I was home alone taking a nap, when I felt a presence I reached out to say high but then that presence scared me, so then another came and blew him away.

They were both shadow figure even in my dream, but just as he shoved the other away I woke up.

Still alone not even ten minutes later from when I went to sleep.

I think he looks like that drawing, the glowing one, I keep on seeing people who look similar to that whenever I’ve been having him in my mind.

I’m depressed we live on different dimensions, I want us to have corporeal bodies living in the same universe so we can touch.

I would be ecstatic if we were meant to be but honestly just having him as a best friend in my life and I his would be enough.

[oogysblog]

🕯️

[oogysblog]

Fuck fuck fuck!

They watched as he fell, watched as the last drop of magic escaped. He slipped like sand through his finger tips.

They were only given so much power and he just reached his limit.

Any more and he would have to break a cardinal rule.

Watched as he closed his eyes and relaxed.

He’s given up he’s not going to try and fight it, he’s just accepted death.

NO!

“STAR!”

Those glittering eyes whipped up at the sound of those words staring in the direction of the sound but seeing nothing.

Before seeing everything.

Out of thin air lightning bubble and exploded

Piece by piece it, whatever it was formed as if the lighting was building something, or ripping through something?

Was that…?

He focused.

It-WAS A FUCKING HAND!

Just out there in the sky in the middle of bum fuck no where as he fell to his death.

Reaching out to him.

How he was able to tell was all on instinct so without a moment hesitation.

Casper took it fingers laced, before his face was pressed into something warm and comforting. Desperately clinging on.

As hands reached around to constrict this stranger in an embrace.

Only to feel something soft unfurling as something heavy snapped out with a thump. Only to end up crying out when his fingers touched flame.

Not from pain, there was none, no it was because it was hurting them.

He tried to stamp the fire out but it wasn’t doing a damn thing.

‘Let me help, please I want to help’ he clung to the figure who scoffed.

“You little-”

[oogysblog]

I want someone

Doesn’t have to be romantic at all, but someone who I can open my whole heart too, and of course I would be open to them.

It’s part of the reason why I don’t want kids, because I never got to be one I had to take care of everyone.

Still take care of everyone.

I’m tired of putting myself second, I’m tired of sacrifices. I’m tired of seeing things no one else can get out of their own way to see.

I’m fucking 32 it’s fucking my turn to be selfish to know someone will catch me. Because I will reciprocate what I’m given balance.

I have sixteen more years before I give up for good

[oogysblog]

Nope not vampires

I mean maybe vampires? Either way I am writing a story about guardian angels on Wattpad see where it goes

Also making a visual novel

And a couple wish remakes

And my own series

Plus a series I have with a friend

So I got a lot and I don’t know where to start and it’s so overwhelming because I know that I can’t do all I just stop myself from doing one cause then my brains like

But what about the others?

So I’m just going to post here to have all my ducks in a row.

So if you find this place and all the connections before I’m 48 and make it public with Dravens book

Holy shit me you we need to talk

[oogysblog]

You know what I want someone who understands me in my language, will be willing to talk to me how I am most comfortable to me because I already do that for them.

That the importance of no sewer slides because then you wouldn’t meet vampires who know you from the past and has been waiting for you since forever to come around and speak to you when you were a grown into yourself fully. Who has the power of shadow and air with a focus in sound. Who also likes to shift appearances just like me a mirror image of me.

[oogysblog]

I know that no one is here and that’s okay I don’t expect people to be here since this is literally the third post of someone rando.

But this is my diary of sorts letting people slowly into my freaky little world.

Because every other me, and there is a few of them, the cleaved pieces of me that I’m going to share with everyone.

This is the full real me.

Well at least ninety three percent of me there will be some tweaks here and there (gotta leave some mystery).

It’s one of a few sanctuary of my stardust, opened to the public, so all can bring their own stardusted butts.

The only thing is this place is going to be 18+

Nothing raunchy is gonna happen, well it won’t be the focus seeing as I am Demisexual as fuck

But I’m going to be 32 and I just rather not restrain myself like I have to everywhere else. It’s the games we play with the rest of society that I want to leave at the door.

I am not trying to be popular with my art, or my writing or anything. I’m here so I can finally feel like I exist somewhere.

I’m just a ghost roaming the galaxey at this point and I want to find me.

You are very much welcome to find yourself as well! This blog is my journey but journeys are always fun shared with others!

[oogysblog]

The one are the left is me, or what I aspire to be, I barely have a month left before I’m 32 and I look nothing like this, but this is who I aspire to be before I’m 36 like this is my goal.

So despite looking nothing like this in real life, I will do a face reveal when I’m actually at this point

Well if anyone cares that is.

Who is the glow worm on the right?

I honestly have no idea but he has been haunting my brain since I was like 12 so I finally want to reveal his face.

To be honest I am obsessed with him so expect him to be a permanent feature. He is my everything I hope I am his.

Cause I’m looking for him.

That’s what this is why I am posting here. Well part of it. Find in him (or her) this is a placeholder not the actual thing lol