paperamarok

[paperamarok]

Well

Last days were much better, I started to accept my body the way it is (it's also because of depression because I don't give a shit how do I look). But now, I think I'm relapsing into restricting and I totally don't know why. I have this feeling "oh well why should I eat if I don't really need to eat" and I may be hungry but it's hard for me to just eat something. I don't know what's going on

[paperamarok]

The dangers and troubles of being a panda zookeeper.

[paperamarok]

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

[paperamarok]

Why ‘female-presenting nipples’ matter

When I was 10, my mom made me wear a bra and it felt like a punishment for being different.

When I was 10, I took the bra off when changing for gymnastics and accidentally dropped it in the school hallway. A teacher picked it up and said, “Oh, this must belong to you” and handed it back to me in front of everyone. I quit gymnastics.

When I was 11, I thought maybe the boobs would be okay so long as they didn’t get any bigger than would fit in my hand, so I kept measuring it, but they did.

When I was 12, I started wearing two or three sports bras to smush them down, until one day a classmate said, “Are you wearing two bras?!” while laughing.

When I was 13, a boy told me he wanted to squeeze my boobs “until they popped.”

When I was 14, I got cast in a play as an older character and a classmate told me I got the role because I had boobs.

When I was 17, my mom told me to return a swimsuit because it would be too distracting for my boyfriend’s father.

When I was 21, I got properly fitted for a bra and everyone felt the need to tell me how much better my boobs looked.

When I was 26, I got pregnant and my immediate fear was that my boobs would get bigger.

When I was 28, I got shamed for trying to feed my screaming baby in public without a cover.

When I was 28, people asked me “why are you bothering to use a breastfeeding cover?”

When I was 30, people gave me weird looks that I wasn’t yelling at my kid for putting their hand on my boob.

When I was 31, I avoided going to the beach or pool because I didn’t want to have to deal with boobs in a swimsuit.

When I was 32, I got asked, again, “why don’t you get a breast reduction?”

When I was 33, I watched a 5yo girl get shamed for running around in sweltering heat without a shirt on and had to reprimand a bunch of tween boys who thought it was okay to shame her for doing something they do all the time.

When I was 34, my kid kept patting my breast and saying “Mommy’s squishy breast!!” They will never see me express any shame about tits, because I want them to have a different mindset than I had. Yes, boobs are nice! They’re squishy! They’re fun! That’s the end of that.

I’m 35 and no longer give a fuck. I don’t care anymore. As a teenager my tits were covered in stretch marks. They’ve been engorged with milk. My nipple changed shape with pregnancy. Give it another couple decades and my breasts will probably be all wrinkly. It’s sexual when I’m using it sexually. I don’t fucking care, and I won’t be ashamed anymore. 

Every time a policy or cultural hangup treats people with breasts differently, it fucks us over. 

Tumblr’s new policy makes an active choice to participate in this culture of shame. By classifying “female-presenting nipples” as explicit material, Tumblr has taken a stance that any chest or breast that differs from a male default is worthy of shame and unavoidably sexual. The idea that breasts are shameful and unavoidably sexual is exactly what fucked me up for so much of my life.

Stop shaming people for having bodies. 

[paperamarok]

read it could save you

I don’t know if this post has been made yet but I just want to warn everybody that if someone stops you in a parking lot and asks you if you’re interested in some perfume and hands you a paper to smell, PLEASE DON’T SMELL IT.

i repeat, DON’T SMELL IT.

Apparently the sample papers are being laced with a drug to knock you out. Please signal boost this. It can save someone’s life!

[paperamarok]

*smoke emiting from clenched fist*

woman: OOOOoOOH NoO!!!! It’s meelltIINNGG!!

*ring melts off woman’s hand*

woman: MY PRECIOUS POWERRrRR RING! GONE FOORRVVERrrr..

woman: *screams like a pterodactyl* 

[paperamarok]

It has come to my attention that Aquaman (2018) is just a shameless ripoff of the Mattel classic, Barbie: A Mermaid Tale.

We have the child of a mermaid queen and a regular human guy 

who was brought up in the human world as a free spirit,

who talks to sea creatures,

who is fated to take over the throne of an underwater kingdom (where all the buildings are round and mushroom-y)

which is currently being occupied by an evil, power-hungry relative

with an army of sharks

And their unique position, straddling the human world and the underwater world, is at first a burden but ends up being their greatest strength

… I’m just saying

[paperamarok]

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[paperamarok]

Yesterday

I was stoned as fuck when my friend invited me on a rpg so I came (cause rpg nerds) and I couldn't exist properly so I took my friend to another room and asked if sth is changed in me (if this is obvious) and he asked

"You've dyed your hair?"

[paperamarok]

Sometimes, on my binges, I tell people "yea, period, you know, normal thing" but in fact I haven't had my period for half a year ._.

[paperamarok]

Friendly reminder

You don’t have to starve yourself to be beautiful, being healthy and happy and good is what makes you beautiful.

Asking for help isn’t weak, it’s strength and overcoming your demons.

if you’re struggling with an eating disorder please call this number: 630-577-1330 or text CONNECT to 741741 (US) or speak to a doctor and trusted family members/friends. 

I believe in you and believe that you will overcome this battle you are going through.

[paperamarok]

[paperamarok]

THAT DAY WAS FUCKING AWESOME DAY GUYYYYSSSSS

[paperamarok]

goal

[paperamarok]

Damon & Hewlett: ok so murdoc recruited 2-D by hitting him with a car while trying to rob a music store

Gorillaz fans: ok cool

Damon & Hewlett: and they got noodle from a mysterious package in the mail and also russel is haunted by the ghosts of his dead friends

Gorillaz fans: sounds legit

Damon & Hewlett: and at one point noodle went for a trip on a flying windmill which was then gunned down by pirates while murdoc found an island made of floating garbage which had a huge manatee on it for reasons we still haven’t explained

Gorillaz fans: mhm

Damon & Hewlett: and murdoc thought noodle died so he made a cyborg noodle to replace her and kidnapped 2-D and brought him to the island made of floating garbage which was also attacked by pirates

Gorillaz fans: yea

Damon & Hewlett: and russel grew to the size of a house by ingesting toxic waste while swimming to this island and found noodle along the way

Gorillaz fans: nice

Damon & Hewlett: so the band ended up moving to a shitty apartment and the literal boogeyman who is also the fifth (rejected) horseman of the apocalypse who was previously stalking murdoc is now living with them while giant russel has to sleep on the roof

Gorillaz fans: haha neat

Damon & Hewlett: and now murdoc is in jail

Gorillaz fans: not surprising

Damon & Hewlett: and ace from the powerpuff girls is in the band

Gorillaz fans: WHAT that is the CRAZIEST thing I have ever heard I can’t believe how wild this universe is

[paperamarok]

important

How “proana” posts effected me and how it lead to me collapsing

I see everywhere someone promoting that you drink 2-3 cups of green tea a day and honestly it’s a bit scary. Back in April I had another account (I deleted it because I went through a recovery phase before falling back into it) where I was really impressionable, I didn’t know any better. I was clueless. So when I saw girls promoting to drink loads of green tea I instantly hopped on board and for most of my family holiday I was chugging down green tea, breakfast, lunch, dinner, even right before bed.

I just was really desperate to become skinny.

Because I had no idea that loads of tea would lead to me being dehydrated a day later after our holiday I woke up and collapsed to the floor, I couldn’t see anything and my body wanted to throw up. I was screaming for help until my sister in law called my parents to come take me to the hospital. There I was forced to eat something and they took some blood tests and felt around my stomach and arm. I was dehydrated with a low blood pressure and a low blood sugar level. Normally with child cases they would bring a doctor to talk privately to me but for some reason they didn’t. We went home and I was forced to eat.

My Therapist/Counsellor has already diagnosed me in early February and she told me this was only the beginning of what was to come.

Looking back on this I was so blinded and desperate for that body and it’s not healthy to be like that, so please tell someone about what your going through. Reach out to someone, ANYONE and get away from this god forsaken website.

I can describe to you the PHYSCIAL PAIN my body went through, I wanted to throw up but my stomach was so empty, my head was completely ringing and pounding, my legs felt like rubber, everything was so painful I genuinely thought I was going to die. I was so scared.

I’m kind of scared posting this as well because I’m scared people will say I should have known better or that I should have drank some water but I’m only a kid. I’m not entirely blaming this website either it was my own fault it happened. I’m scared of people saying my body is weak for collapsing but that’s how it is I guess.

Also if you’ve seen the tags and see “proana” in there, I’m not. I’m using the tag so people can see how bad it got for me. I’m not proana it almost fucking killed me.

So please for the love of god, stay safe