paralyticnostalgia

[paralyticnostalgia]

About to go out and pick up my very first indoor houseplant. I turn 40 in a few months. This is my midlife crisis. And I don’t even think it’s a crisis. It’s a new beginning. A needed one.

If anyone has any advice for beginner plant caretakers, please send them all my way. Thank you for the help!

[paralyticnostalgia]

Used to work at a Blockbuster in ‘06. I’ve yet to have a job as fulfilling as that one. I miss Blockbuster nights as a kid in the 90s as well. I miss all of it. All of our carefree youth and relentless options and joy.

(🔮)

[paralyticnostalgia]

Take me back, please. There aren’t many things I wouldn’t give to go back.

Who’s coming over mine for a LAN party?

[paralyticnostalgia]

Haven’t posted since April, when I posted for the first time.

Can’t say much is going on. I’m only trying to make it to the next sunrise. Onward and upward, ever forward.

Gaming. Writing. Watching a lot of movies. Reading when able. These are the things that keep me mentally sound. Yet I feel incredibly empty as well. Not sure what it is that will make me feel more…alive? Fulfilled? Whole? Loved, even? But I do know I have to keep searching.

I hope all of you are doing things that make you smile. A wise friend once told me to always chase what makes your heart flutter. I think that’s sound advice for all who walk their own paths in life.

Feel free to message me if you’d like to talk about anything at all. I’ll post again later today. Figure this is the only place I can put thought into form and actually feel it’s helping my mental state.

Cheers to a good day for us all.

[paralyticnostalgia]

Searching for Something.

This being my first post, I thought I would simply jump into the thoughts I cannot shake. Maybe writing them down will help? I’ve always been told it’s an effective form of therapy, in a sense. No harm in trying to find out.

I’m not new to Tumblr. But, it has been years and years since I’ve been on here. Just needed a place to write something down and didn’t feel like trying to remember my old information. New profile it is then.

I’m about to turn the corner on my late 30s and barrel into 40. Not exactly something I’m relishing. As I write this, I’m healing from a broken ankle. My body seems to be waving the white flag early, yeah? I’m happily married to a wonderful woman. We are going on 12 years of chaotically fun married life. Together we have three children who define the term chaotic good. I say these tidbits to show it’s not all doom and gloom as I head to the age of 40.

But, I do feel lost in the sauce, so to speak. I find myself becoming obsessed with chasing that beautiful feeling of weekend nights with friends, staying up all night gaming. Watching anime. Shoveling so much pizza and Mt Dew in our bodies that we eventually become comatose as the sun rises. Anything to chase the increasingly fleeting feeling of pure bliss from a far less chaotic and painful time in my life. Hell. It’s 2025 and I’m in the middle of an InuYasha rewatch while playing FFIX.

I suppose I need to end this rambling essay that serves no real purpose to anyone but me. And even then, not much of one. But I need to talk to someone about things I feel and think. Even if this is really only me shouting into the void. I’ll do what I can to post a few times a week. It won’t always be this drawn out. It’ll just be whatever captures my attention or occupies my mind.

I hope all of you have a great day, or at least a day worth smiling over. Love and peace.