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[paytonthewriter]

Anxiety • Bakugo Katsuki x Femreader

Summary: You store up a bunch of your emotions, trying your best to always be happy and cheery. Admittedly, sometimes you go into school upset, but you always end up laughing. Although, with some family problems and stress and anxiety, plus holding it in, one day you finally explode, having a full on panic attack during school.

Warnings: Angsty, anxiety, family issues, fluff, bakuboi comfort🥺

A/N: I tried to make this as reader friendly as possible, but there is a little personal bits, so if it doesn’t relate to you just go with it. Let’s say it’s just to help the story go by easier. Also, I am doing this based on experience, but I don’t know if it was a panic or anxiety attack. In this I say anxiety, but I could be wrong. If this offends you, I’m sorry! Thank you for reading!

Since you were young you had struggled with anxiety. You had grown used to keeping your feelings to yourself and dealing with them by yourself, only talking to the person your closest to when it was way to much for you. Your boyfriend, Bakugo Katsuki, new about your struggles and had been helping you get more accustomed to talking to him about your feelings, but you were still struggling. You’d start to tell him small things, like when something happened that just angered you, but you still weren’t making much progress. It was difficult. You were used to doing everything alone, and then this boy is suddenly trying to help you? No one has tried to help you like he has, and it just made you fall harder for him. Since dating him, you hadn’t had a single meltdown, even in the safety and privacy of your room.

But today, as you walked to school, you knew your feelings were started to tip over. Events occurred at home the day before and it tipped the glass. You had managed to control yourself for the time being, but then night came and you were alone in silence. Your worst enemy and the thing that had caused you the most pain was with you in that silence. Your own thoughts.

You started picking at the scabs on your pink lips, Bakugos past scolding about it leaving your mind. He had been trying to help you break the habit, hoping it would help with your anxiety as well, but you couldn’t help it. Last night you started, and you weren’t even thinking about stopping, not even caring about the metallic taste it put in your mouth when it bleed, or the small pain you felt when you licked your lips or when you ate something that made them burned. The only thought in mind was your heart pounding and all the stress, sadness, and anger in you finally ready to be released.

You barely even realized you were at your classroom, only becoming aware when you walked right into Mina, who was talking to Sero and Kaminari.

“Oh, sorry, Mina.” You said, glancing at your best friends eyes. She had a small smile but it seemed to fade once your appearance processed in her mind.

“It’s okay, Y/n. Are you okay?” She asked, concern obvious in here voice. Her words and tone made you want to give up and break down right there. You started to try to blink the tears away, keeping your head down. You gave her a nod, not daring to even open your mouth. Before any of them could say something you walked past them, making a beeline for your desk.

The first sign to Bakugo that you were upset was the fact that you didn’t go up to him like usual. He watched as you walked to your desk, just barely being able to see how beat up your lips were. But as he continued to examine you, he noticed how you were different in other ways. Appearance wise, you weren’t that different. The only thing different besides your lips was the way your hair was in a messy bun. Then there were smaller things, like the way your eyes weren’t glistening and the frown set on your lips. The frown wasn’t that surprising, I mean, you weren’t always smiling, but even when you were feeling down, your eyes still had some light to them. Now, they weren’t the same beautiful eyes Bakugo lived so much. They weren’t the same eyes he’d easily get lost in. They weren’t the same eyes that could get him to do anything you wanted.

The most obvious difference was your energy. Usually, as soon as you enter a room it gets brighter. Everyone smiles at you and gets excited. But now, the room seemed dark, dimmed. Everyone had an uneasy feeling in their stomach.

Bakugo took notice of how almost the entire class was staring at you. No, not almost. It was the entire class. You always made it a priority to make everyone laugh and smile, make your presence known. Now you seemed like you were trying to disappear. Bakugo knew something wasn’t right, but he didn’t know what to do. This entire thing was a whole knew world to him, and while he had been doing great in trying to help you, he had officially hit a wall.

You felt everyone’s gaze on you, and it wasn’t helping in the slightest. You knew someone was going to say something any second, and just the anticipation made you want to explode. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought the entire class could here, and it was starting to hurt. You wanted to break down, and you were close to it. You started to take deep breaths, putting you bag on your desk. Your nose twitched, feeling like you were going to crumble under the gazes of your class, and you would do anything to not in front of anyone. You glanced up, giving some a cold stare. You didn’t even mean to, but you could feel the tears coming, and you felt like you had no control.

“What?” You snapped, you tone annoyed and cold, your voice almost breaking. You quickly looked down, scolding yourself for it and blinking tears away. The door opened and Aizawa stepped in, telling everyone to go to there seats. You took the opportunity to wipe away the stray tear that feel from your eye, letting out a small and shaky breath. You didn’t see Bakugo basically standing up, fighting every fiber in his body to not run to you. He knew making a scene would only make things worse. He knew that doing anything in front of a crowd with all eyes on you made you more than embarrassed, even if you were watching it happen on a screen.

The school day continued to go by and you completely avoided everyone. Bakugo constantly had his eyes on you, getting more frustrated at every tear that escaped your eyes and feeling powerless that he couldn’t do anything. You were being sneaky, so no one could see, but more and more tears were escaping, and you were getting closer to breaking down every second. You surprised yourself with how long you had held it in, and now you were anticipating to go home and be able to let it all out. You thought if you couldn’t hold it till then there was always the bathroom, but you hoped you would t end up crying on a bathroom seat or floor. Plus, you knew someone would notice and you didn’t want even more questions.

Now, you were all training, doing demonstrations of everything your quirk can do, trying to see what everyone needed help with. You were all lined up with much space in between you all while multiple teachers walked around and examined you. You stood in your area, staring straight ahead, wondering if this would push you over the edge, or if it’ll help. You didn’t have much time to think once Aizawa taped your shoulder, instructing you to participate. You swallowed and held you hands up, allowing your quirk to run wild. In more than a few seconds, you were demonstrating what your quirk could do fiercely. To the teachers, you were doing what everyone else was, demonstrating their quirk to the fullest. But to Bakugo, he knew the truth. He could see your anger and pain clearly as you used your quirk. He could see the cup in you mind falling over, and he quickly stopped what he was doing, gaining a questioning stare from the teacher watching him. Aizawa was close by so he walked up to the blond boy.

“What’s the matter?” Aizawa asked Bakugo. Bakugo didn’t give his teacher a single glance, his eyes not leaving you.

“She’s about to snap.” He said plainly to his teacher, but his voice was low. Aizawa followed his students gaze to you, now seeing the aggression. It was strange for him to see.

Aizawa opened his mouth to speak, but before any words could leave his mouth, it happened. A sob left your mouth as tears started to pour, everyone turning to you, just watching the scene unfold in shock. You just seemed so vulnerable. You had always made a point to show you were strong and everyone looked up to you, even when you were childish, but seeing you so broken and in so much pain, it made them freeze. They never thought, or wanted to, see you like this. Even the teachers were at a loss.

Even though Bakugo had no idea what to do, he had no idea how to handle this situation, he found himself running to you ass fast as he possibly could once you fell to the ground. He cursed in his head, feeling so much anger towards himself for being a coward and not saying anything. For allowing you to dodge him in every way. He had never hated himself more than right in this moment. His heart was breaking to see you like this, and he couldn’t help but blame himself. In this moment, he didn’t give a crap who was watching. You were hurting, and he’d be damned before he let anything get in the way of him helping you again.

He dropped to his knees, quickly pushing his gauntlets off his arms and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest.

Everyone’s brains exploded at the sight. They felt like Kaminari after he used to much of his quirk. The Bakugo Katsuki was being so kind and gentle, his eyes were so pained. Nobody had seen this side of him, not even Midoriya. Well, Midoriya has seen a similar look in his eyes, but never like this.

A small “shh” left his lips as you started to sob into his chest, gently rocking you. Honestly, you barely believed this was Bakugo yourself, but that was the last thing on your mind. You were mostly questioning why you allowed yourself to be this way in front of everyone.

Slowly, he pulled you up, not allowing you to leave his embrace, and he started to guide you towards the exit. You didn’t need all those eyes on you, and it’d make it easier for him to help if no one was observing.

As you walked he whispered you comforting things, like “just breath” and “it’s okay”. It didn’t take him long to find a private area, slowly sitting onto the floor with you still in his arms. You wrapped you arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder while he gently rubbed your back, giving you some head kisses, and reminding you to breath.

After a minute, you manage to choke out an apology. For what exactly you were apologizing for wasn’t very clear to you. You felt as Bakugo shook his head. He gently grabbed you waist and pulled you away from him. He looked into your tear filled eyes and gave you the smallest smile. He sighed and reached his hand up to wipe your tears, despite the fact that new ones were still spilling.

“There is nothing to apologize for, baby,” He said softly, “just get it all out. I’m right here for you.” His words brought more tears. You let out a shaky sigh and laid your head on his shoulder, nose pressing against his neck as you sat on his lap. You breathed heavily as you let the tears fall. Bakugo continued to rub your back and arms, thinking of other things he could do to help. He had no idea what to do at it was stressing him out. He felt he had to do more.

Slowly, you reached you hand up, gently caressing Bakugos cheek. He leaned in to it, kissing your palm. You smiled softly at this side of Bakugo. The joy of it almost made you want to cry more.

“Thank you.” You whispered, wiping your tears away and taking deep breaths. Bakugo looked down at you.

“For what?” He asked. You giggled at his genuine confusion. You continued to caress his cheek and pecked his lips, pressing your foreheads together.

“For everything,” you started, “for being here. For knowing me. For helping me. For caring. For making me laugh. For comforting me. From pulling me away from all those eyes.” Bakugo closed his eyes. He was completely relaxed with you in his arms, feeling your normal energy again. Oh, how he missed you.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Bakugo opened his eyes at those words, hearing you voice crack and moving your forehead from his, your hand slightly moving away from his face. Your head was now hanging down, your hand stiff. You looked up at him with new tears in your eyes and a smile on your face. You quickly hug him, his arms immediately wrapping around your waist.

“I love you.” You whispered, causing Bakugo to freeze. You two had never said those three words, but both had been dying to. Bakugo smiled, pulling you back and kissing your lips.

“I love you, too.”