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These articulations make me feel so comfortable the way I am

really love blind alley, i have an odd question though: do you have a pronouns guide for the kids or are you just leaving them up for reader interpretation? (other than red who has already been asked about)

Thank you!

A: Not an odd question. I think about this a lot too. I've spent a really long time trying to order my thoughts on this in a coherent way.

I am intentional when I use pronouns. When we know, that means it's part of how a character conceives of themself. The reverse is also true. I feel a bit at odds with myself here though; despite previously making a post about the importance of ambiguity and interpretation in my storytelling, this is one area where I'd prefer people just accept that lack of certainty instead of theorizing.

I want us to be able to conceive of them as people and characters without categorizing them. Unfortunately, I can't force anyone to do this without being extremely didactic or overt and I find that sort of writing to be boring and easy to dismiss. People always misgender my characters. It doesn't upset me but it does make me feel like I am failing to get across my intentions. As with all art, you can't force someone to read and engage with it how you intend. Maybe I am just not conceptualizing this properly and there's a better way to do it. However, I am not comfortable imagining readers theorizing on a characters gender because that makes it feel like something withheld for some grand reveal. Gender just doesn't matter to some of these characters and within my own relationship to them; I would like that to be the case for my readers too.

This isn't to be dismissive of gender/sexuality and how strongly this can inform ones identity. However, and maybe it's naive of me but, I'd love to live in a world where gender and sexual orientation do not always factor in to our ability to relate to each other. Writing this way feels like putting to practice something important to me.

This desire to be comfortable with not knowing is partly in response to my general frustration with our inclination to constantly categorize people, ideas, and processes. I believe this inclination does endless harm. We want things to be finite, fixed, and known but when reading about biology, philosophy, and ecology, it's clear there are no fixed or singular points. It's all process, flux, and in between; that's where we live. That's also where cartoons live.

Blind Alley doesn't exist. There is no way for anyone to confirm anything about it. It is all relational cartoon abstraction; it is only what I draw and say and what you take from that. My hope is that, while an individual may have an interpretation of what I've written, a reader will also consider why it is written that way. I'm not certain how to force readers to sit with not knowing things - it's clear we all want answers but, philosophically and artistically, I think that getting comfortable with not needing to know is an expansive thing.

I'm also aware I am writing a comic strip; people engage with them in a certain frame of mind. I shouldn't overstate any of this because I am incredibly aware that I am writing a dumb comic strip with fart jokes and stupid gags. I unfortunately put a lot of pretentious thought into this.

So, to answer your question, I only know when it matters to the type of character I am writing. I am not withholding this information so I can do some sort of reveal later; it just feels right to write characters this way.

[pebblecarton]

I’m so happy that other people think like this!!!

contrary to popular belief not everyone has an innate sense of internal gender or care to have one or seek a name for it, some people go their whole lives without questioning their occupation in one of two gender roles, but for some people, if pressed, they don’t feel that internal sense of ‘i am a woman’ or ‘i am a man’, and in that case i feel the switch over to transgender vs cisgender relies on active identification of a gender other than the one they were assigned. if someone’s like ‘idk dude I just work here’ then that’s valid

[pebblecarton]

have been seeing stuff about avoidant attachment style online and it sounds awfully similar to my experiences and it’s making me doubt things

[pebblecarton]

have recently been feeling kinda detached from these labels ive adopted (aro and ace). i think aspec and arospec still apply to me? but it feels kinda weird cause ive had sex and i miss the person who i did that with because it was nice to feel loved. loved in the sense that there was another person who i could exist with who understood me in a significant way and liked me because of it? but also idk how much of that is trauma bonding (the definition where you bond with someone because they are causing you trauma) and how much of that is some actual “love”

[pebblecarton]

aro culture is someone asking to kiss you and spending the whole following conversation internally freaking out because you haven't brushed your teeth since that morning and it's already night time, and realizing later on that that train of thought probably isn't the main one people who actually want to kiss other people would be having in that situation

.

[pebblecarton]

Aphobes need to learn to apply "just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't happen" to themselves. You can't tell aspecs that "no one cares if you don't wanna date or have sex literally no one is harassing you for that" because YOU'RE allo therefore YOU don't experience that but WE do. Of course you don't think it happens because you aren't the target! How is that hard to understand?

Really sick of the "well I haven't experienced it/seen it before so it must not be real" mindset that a lot of people have about each other. It's so self absorbed and they don't even realize it.

Go outside.

[pebblecarton]

I'm sorry I can't reciprocate your romantic or sexual feelings, would you feel better if I gave you a steam gift card instead?

[pebblecarton]

you are not better for not experiencing a form of attraction. being smug for not experiencing attraction perpetuates sex and romance negativity and ultimately hurts those within the aspec community that do feel attraction

sex and sexual attraction are not inherently bad. romance and romantic attraction are not inherently bad. they may be uncomfortable or disliked by certain people, but they are not inherently bad aspects to experience. and acting superior to those who do experience these things only perpetuates the idea that they are.

not to mention there are members of the aspec community that do feel these attractions, at least partially. or those that wish to engage in romantic or sexual activities. and acting better than them is putting down your own community.

[pebblecarton]

“No wonder I feel a thousand petals I'm walking by cherry blossoms in the sky Feels exciting to be living No wonder I feel so tired of talking There's so much to take in today

I'm humming like washing machines through the window And feeling glad that I saw you in your favorite jeans Feels so friendly when you say "Hello" No wonder I want to wrap you up and take you home I'm looking forward to the chance to meet again But then again it all depends”

- No Wonder I by LAKE

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“Come along with me To a place beside the sea We can wander through the forest And do so as we please

Come along with me To a cliff under a tree Where we can gaze upon the water As an everlasting dream”

- Christmas Island by LAKE

[pebblecarton]

“Just to start this off This isn't the start of anything Just a song that I can sing to you We're standing in a graveyard A presumably dead arm popped through the grass And who doesn't talk about that?...

Honey, you are nothing to me I don't call people anything that's thought to be so sweet The speech is coming back with a vengeance, it seems”

- Presumably Dead Arm (617 Sessions) by Sidney Gish

[pebblecarton]

“I’ll live savage and free and reckless and wild I don’t need anybody I'm a forest child I'll trace my casting circles in the mud Cause something's boiling, in my blood”

- Poison by Stick and Poke

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“Did you think I could stop being selfish? I do what I can, but it's chemical There are just some things you can't change Like the color of your eyes Or how your hair parts to one side naturally Please don't tell me to change I'm more than content living this way And I hope someday that you will feel the same about me”

- I Fell in Love With Princess Peach by Hot Mulligan

[pebblecarton]

“Fall is here, hear the yell Back to school, ring the bell Brand new shoes, walking blues Climb the fence, books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends I can tell that we are gonna be friends...

Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed When silly thoughts go through my head About the bugs and alphabet And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet That you and I will walk together again I can tell that we are gonna be friends Yes I can tell that we are gonna be friends”

- We’re Going To Be Friends by The White Stripes

[pebblecarton]

“Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away Yeah, maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it Yeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad person Well, baby I know

And these fingertips Will never run through your skin And those bright blue eyes Can only meet mine across a room Filled with people that are less important than you

Oh, 'cause you love, love, love When you know I can't love You love, love, love When you know I can't love You love, love, love When you know I can't love you”

- Love Love Love by Of Monsters and Men

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“I think I wanna be alone 'Cause love makes me uncomfortable My God, it's fucking terrible Goodbyes are so unbearable...

I sleep better in the dark Lights out, it's no walk in the park I don't need therapy I'm always there for me in the end”

- i think i wanna be alone by mazie

[pebblecarton]

“Yeah I might've gotten too drunk last year at your house And yeah I might've said a few things that you like But that's not right Cause it won't last I'm just an idea in your head And you're a floor I can sleep on when I'm sick of my own bed

Honeydew Don't take it personal cause I love you too But not the way you want me I adore you, but not the way you want me to Honeydew Honeydew Honeydew

Blonde hair and blue eyes I love the way that you try You're an endless summer and I'm the winter you don't like You see my early sunsets and I see your shine But every time we get too close”

- Honeydew by Caley Spivey, Small Talks