pedgecalmdown

[pedgecalmdown]

Knocked Up..vote

Warnings: Redditors, gamer girl discrimination, ramen pants, stinky cheesy blowjob, interesting head, very large and fuzzy beard, sweaty folds

Word count: 1.6k

Summary: You and Pedgechan meet in the wonderful realm of reddit, and things get a little wacky 👅

You had always known you were a bit… different. Being a gamer girl who spent her time on Reddit wasn’t very easy. Every day someone on one of your many subreddits would find something to argue about with you. After all these years, you had learned to defend yourself pretty well. Joining a new subreddit, you expected to be welcomed. However, due to your quirky traits, you found yourself being told off by a member of the subreddit. Something about being a poser and just one of those girls who pretends to actually like a game to seem different. Appalled by the accusation, you furiously gave the redditor a piece of your mind, insults flying off your keyboard and into the thread. With the days passing by, you had somewhat forgotten about the argument. You hadn’t really “won” per se… but you gave it your all. It hadnt crossed your mind until one day you got a notification. ‘Xxkon1ch1wa_p3dge_chanxX’ replied to your comment. It filled you with anxiety. You knew it was just gonna be another guy making fun of you. Opening the thread, you were shocked by the words you read.

“Now is a lowly man of your kind insulting such a fine female specimen? methinks YOU’RE actually the poser here, not this fair gamer maiden. how bout you make like your penis size and cease into nonexistentence?”

Pedge Chan’s comment left you floored. for once, a merry gentlesir had finally DEFENDED you instead of attacked you for being a gamer girl! the feeling of flattery nearly made your panties wet, indeed. It wasn’t long after reading Pedge Chan’s heartwarming defence of you that he sent a message to you through DM’s, and you swear you could imagine his fedora tipping with every sentence, shamefully making you even more wet. Gripping your chair with excitement, you read Pedge Chan’s message.

“Greetings my fair maiden. You may have seen me defending you from that scoundrel of a redditor in r/gamesforweebs. You see, after looking through your profile I simply had no choice but to do so. My lovely lady, you are simply such an impeccable species. Firstly, I saw your profound taste in anime, thus registering you as a weeb such as myself. Secondly, finding out you are a gamer girl was the cherry on top of an outstanding foundation. I would like to formally introduce myself to you, as I have a keen interest in becoming somewhat of a.. mate for you. If you have interest in becoming my gamer girlfriend, please respond to me and we can continue from here. Have a great day, my lovely maiden.

Yours truly,

Pedge Chan”

There was a flutter in your heart. Never have you felt something like this. A gentlesir so sweet had never spoken to you like this before. One hand covering your mouth and the other holding your phone, you didn’t know how to reply. You put your phone down for a minute and closed your eyes, imagining what he would look like. Tall… muscular… a handsome devil. Thoughts flooded your mind until you snapped yourself out of it. You picked the phone back up and started to type back.

“Why hello to you, gentlesir! I saw how you came to my rescue in the subreddit. I do say… you seem like one fine senpai- ehe! I would love to know more about you. I’m dying to know which animes you dabble in and which epic games you play! You can talk to me more on Instagram if you’d like; I’m @dattebayooooY/N.

Farewell, my knight,

Y/N Kun”

You checked Instagram all throughout the day, seeing if any new, cute weebs followed you. What you didn’t know was that pedgechan had already found your Instagram.. not only that, but he knew that the two of you lived not too far away. Not for him anyways. His love for you exceeded the distance of a 12 hour drive.

You and Pedechan began talking sweet nothings over instagwam, but little did you know he was slowly closing the distance between you over the next few days. One day, he mysteriously texted you, “Look outside, my anime princess, I have a surprise for you.” You obliged and were shocked to see Pedgechan, in the flesh! He was absolutely gorgeous, his fuzzy beard somehow colonizing his chins (plural), neck, and upper chest. His greasy, oily hair pulled back into a slick ponytail, highlighting his receding hairline. Upon making eye contact, he let out a pungent fart of excitement, bowed, and greeted you with a konnichiwa. Boy oh boy, if Pedgechan could see the absolute slick coating that was sliming all over your panties right now, he would just slam you on the floor and use that 2 ½ inches of his right here, right now. Suddenly, Pedgechan gets on one knee and presents a dvd in his hands. “M’lady, would you do me the honor of watching this exclusive anime with me?” You cut him off, dragging him to the couch, eyeing a particular tiny little bulge in his stained ramen pants.

Sitting on the couch with him, it becomes apparent that he gives off a certain… odor. You couldn’t tell if it was coming from his greasy hair, his stained pants, or from in between his folds. You begin to realize that he didn’t look much like how you imagined but how could that matter when you have the king of weebs sitting next to you? You got up to put the dvd in the player and made sure to bend down and show your plump rear to pedge Chan. You hoped he noticed your ramen noodle leggings. You got up and sat back next to your calorie crusader, waiting for the film to start playing. Pedgechan was clad in a ramen noodle hoodie and galaxy pants of some sort. Not to mention his stylish fedora atop his magnificent locks. You began to feel something tickling your hand. You looked down and saw pedgechans well fed fingies trying to intermingle with yours. You blushed and looked away for a moment before taking over and locking hands with him. You didn’t know it, but you had let out a kawaii Little ‘EHE-‘ which put pedgechan in a love daze. You couldn’t be more perfect.

You cheekily perked up your lovely breasts with your arms, putting them on full display for your Pedgechan. This sly act made Pedgechan’s 2 ½ inch willy ripe and swollen with anticipation, and he was quick to grab your petite frame and place you on his lap. You were quick to start rocking back and forth on his galaxy leggings, leaving a snail trail behind and making Pedgechan drool in excitement. Pedgechan was a little anxious as he was a 38 year old virgin, but we looked at a picture of his favorite World of Warcraft character which gave him the strength to go on. He immediately shimmied off his leggings and anime boxers, proving to be a great challenge due to his unfortunate rotund figure. Once his teeny little willy was out and flapping about, you wrapped your mouth around the whole thing, cheese included.You could ignore the presence of some cheese when it was the love of your life! You sopped up his wiener like ramen noodles, eventually getting him to explode his warm, runny, smelly, cheesy, fat swimmers in your mouth. During Pedgechan’s release, he yelled out a passionate “DATTEBOYOOOOO” from the overstimulating pleasure. Eventually, he got up, rubbed his hands together, and said “Now what kind of king would I be without pleasuring my princess..?”

You squealed with excitement and sat back down on the couch from your kneeling position on the floor. You started to shimmy off your ramen noodle leggings as pedgechan stood up. He had to rock back and forth first to gain momentum before he finally tumbled forward. On the floor now, pedgechan seductively crawled on all fours to you. You opened your legs to welcome him in and revealed your pokemon underwear. Pedgechan gasped, overjoyed. He wiggled his little piggies in the air before nearly ripping the pantries to shreds. He tore them off of you before diving into your folds. His coarse neck beard tickled you, and his technique was interesting. He was darting his tongue out very fast on your clih before having to cough. He crunchily coughed into your canal before returning to his assault. He shook his head back and forth, tongue and teeth rubbing against you. You placed your hand on his fedora and began to take it off before he suddenly straightened up and slapped your hand away from the fedora. “M’wady, I apologize. The fedowa must stay on during our… fun time. Is dat ok with you, kitten?” You nodded and giggled as he dove back into your cave. With a few more pokes of his white tongue, you were power washing his face.

You took a moment to rest after your overwhelming climax, Pedgechan’s beard still tickling your entire lower body due to its large square footage. Pedgechan climbed on all fours to give you an odorfull kiss on the lips and lied down, snuggling against you. Unfortunately, his record breaking size was somewhat suffocating you, but if you were gonna let ANYONE suffocate you, it would be your widely built Pedgechan. In your relaxation, you both let out soft, repugnant toots quickly filling up the room. Pedgechan was quick to sniff out your farts for his own enjoyment. You chuckled. You were so lucky to have a man like Pedgechan so devoted to every part of you. You nudged your head into the sweaty folds of Pedgechan’s arm and fell asleep with your munchkin right then and there.

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A/N: Hey guys!! Was feeling more romantic today 🩷👅🥰 Hope you enjoy this heart warming love story, I know i did!! 😇💞

[pedgecalmdown]

Kickstart my Heart-Attack - p.p

Warnings: He does cocaine, he’s really fat, chins plural, stretcher, little pee bone, cheeto dust mid thrust, moldy beef jerky

Word count: 1846

If you told yourself you would be where you were right now to your 12 year old self, you wouldn’t believe it. You were front row at the best band in the world, Peenüs, staring at the love of your life (though he doesn’t know it yet), Peebone. You were going crazy at the sight of him and his many chins and swayed and swooned at the sound of his high pitched mickey mouse voice. Peebone isn’t really the type to entertain young promiscuous girls, but the sight of you lifting your shirt up to reveal your pretty pink bra nearly made his eyes pop out of his head, which made you nearly soak your panties. Throughout the show, Peebone was looking over at you and sending sly little winks and devilish smiles. At one point in the show he wanted to show off to you, so he tried taking his shirt off, but it got stuck halfway off due to his large stature and chins. You couldn’t help but smile. What a cute sexy guy! Nothing could put you off him, not even his wonky little Axl Rose shuffle that put him face down on the floor because of the pressure it put on his large build. After Peebone got help with taking his shirt off, he looked at you again, blushed, and mouthed for you to come to his room once the show was over.

Your mind was blown as you stared at the rock god in front of you. The time between now and the end of the show was becoming narrower and narrower, and all you could focus on was actually getting to meet THE peebone!!! The pee bone that was all over your walls and played out of your record player every day. Finally, the show concluded with one last hurrah from peebone n the boiz, and he winked and wiggled his tongue at you before slowly waddling off stage. The crowd still buzzed with excitement as you pushed through bodies to find the backstage entrance. Once you were there, the security guard let you in immediately, which came as a surprise to you. Even when you were backstage there weren’t any girls there. Did they not want to see the sexiest man of all time?? Hello?? You strolled around until you were met with a door that said, “MR. PEEBONE”. You knocked once, twice, and when the door opened you could’ve sworn you had a look into heaven. There he was, the legend himself, standing at the door looking at you. The man who wrote hits like “Come Wipe Me Baby”, and “It’s Watery, Brown and Chunky (And It’s All for You) was standing face to face with you. However, that wasn’t the best part. You took one look up and down his rotund, jiggly body and saw he was completely naked, his member barely peeking out, stuffed between many folds and rolls of fat.

“Fancy seeing you here, gorjus”, Mr. Peebone cheekily said. His hands were behind his head, clearly asserting his dominance as he had no interest in covering up his little pee bone. You licked your lips in yearning and thought of how to initiate conversation with him. You don’t wanna be remembered as simply another fangirl who states she’s his biggest fan. Instead, you wanted to show him you were his biggest fan. You waltzed into his room and it seemed your clothes just instantly disintegrated upon his presence. You chucked. I guess your meek little clothes couldn’t handle the glory of Peebone’s many folds. You were quick to start licking Peebone’s sexy voluptuous chins and he let out a Robert Plant-esque moan. Peebone seemed to remember something and stopped you mid lick. “STUPID STUPID!!” He said while banging his hands on his head. “Almost forgot the secret ingredient!” He took a little plastic baggie with white dust, snorted it, and sprinkled some on his many rolls. “AUGHH that hit the spot, go on now gorjus. Us rebels should get to let our freak flag fly.” You giggled and as you obligingly inhaled the fibrous white powder, you knew things were about to get wild 😝.

Peebone continued to let out loud high pitched moans until he couldn’t take it anymore and had to take over. His short arms grabbed you, and he pushed you towards the couch. You fell backwards, laughing. You got up and leaned back on your elbows to meet peebones gaze. He waddled towards you, his swollen ankles bulging. As he tried to get on top of you on the couch, it seemed he couldn’t fit. He was about double the width of the cushion you rested on, so you decided to move the two of you around. You got up and led him to the counter, a large mirror facing you. Peebone was behind you, his chins becoming visible from behind your head as you bent yourself over on the counter. Somehow in the midst of you two moving, he grabbed a little snack. He was stuffing his face with Cheetos which you quickly smacked out of his fat fingers. He let out a childish whine before gasping at the sight of your rear facing him. His eyes widened and he wiggled his Cheeto dust fingers in the air. “Va va VOOM!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t mind if I do…🤤.” The notably nourished peebone slapped his big lumberjack hands on your butt, watching it jiggle. His voice was strained and nasally due to the fat on his neck and chin, but he managed out a “who’s been a bad girl for dada..” You flipped your hair over your shoulder and looked at him. “Me..!!” You said, before becoming aware of the NEW chocolate bar he was now munching on! That little button buster couldn’t help himself. You decided to just let him munch as you felt around for his little Willy. When you finally reached under his folds and found it, he let out a scream comparable to that of Steven Tyler. He promptly dropped the chocolate bar before leaning his entire weight into you, eager to get into your welcoming cave.

Peebone excitedly shoved his wet willy inside your enclosure, his slick oily fat rolls slapping against your butt. His sweaty feet were gripping the floor and slowly made their way to go hold toes with yours for emotional support from all the stimulation. He wiped his dusty cheeto fingers on your back, leaving cheesy orange imprints all over your body. He then proceeded to bend over to lick it off your back while simultaneously jackhammering into you. “Can’t let this delectable cheese go to waste!” He exclaimed with a smile on his face. You, meanwhile, were moaning loud enough for the southern hemisphere to hear. His cheesy member was extraordinarily large due to all the extra fat, giving you even more sensation in your canal. The floor ended up becoming so slick due to your arousal that you both tumbled over mid thrust and you landed on top of his oily abdomen. Peebone spotted an old beef jerky marinating behind the trash can and quickly began munching. You didn’t even bother trying to slap it out of his greedy crusty hands as you shimmied your way over to the greasy long elephant in the room. As you began taking the pee bone, the white power began to take full effect which gave both of you heightened sensations. It was enough to grab Peebone’s attention away from the moldy beef jerky and make his little guy unnaturally swollen in excitement. It basically grew a mind of its own and began jerking itself into you, leaving Peebone’s mouth agape, showing the half chewed beef jerky still in his mouth. You could tell you were going to near the edge very soon.

You kept bouncing on that fire d when suddenly, a thought began to worry you. You hadn’t used protection! What if you got pregnant or contacted something? All of your worry went out the window when you realized that if anyone was gonna give you babies AND hep c, you would want it to be your little peebone. The buffet bandit beneath you began to wail louder and louder, before his little hog EXPLODED in you. This sent you over the edge and you squirted all over his face, power washing the Cheeto dust on his lips right off. He licked his lips before trying to sit up, an attempt made in vain. His anatomy made it physically impossible to sit up from a lying position. Instead, you hopped off of his pee bone and snuggled up with him, stuffing your face in his hairy chins. The smell began to disturb you so you ended up lifting your head out and kissing him instead. “How did I- UUUUAAAHHH do baby🫣🤤?” He said, large gasps between his words. He was severely out of breath. “It was perfect,” you seductively spoke. His stubby hand reached over and pulled you in closer. “Say now, HHHEUAAAHHHH, how would you like to.. HUUUUEAHH, come with us on the rest of the…hhhHhhhhHHHH.. tour?” Your eyes slammed open as wide as possible as you lifted your head up, in disbelief of what he just asked you. You abandoned all thoughts about what else this might entail for your life at home, and ecstatically agreed. The moment was cut short when there was banging on the door. “PEEBONE WHERE ARE YOU MAN??! THE PEOPLE ARE HERE TO LIFT YOU ON THE BUS, HURRY UP!!!” It was his bandmate, Cheezy Winkler, telling him he had to go.

You gave Peebone a little smooch on the folds of his chins and tried pulling him up, a task much harder than previously thought. Trying to pick up the sheer weight Peebone is carrying on his skeleton nearly blew your back out a second time. Eventually, Peebone was able to grab the sink to pull him up, nearly crushing it in the process. He waddled out through the door but got stuck halfway, and he urged you to push him from behind to make him fit through the door. Your still naked bodies were slapping once again just to get Peebone out the door. Once he made it through, he was quick to grab a tub of ice cream from the freezer and seductively licked the vanilla on his lips while making eye contact with you. the Ice cream was dripping down his chins onto his still bare little pee bone. You called out for the hospital team that was going to lift Peebone into the tour bus and they came rushing in with a stretcher. It was a group effort to get him onto the stretcher and into the bus, but you were just excited with all the new possibilities becoming Peebone’s groupie would open up to you. You sighed in contentment watching Peebone’s team use a crane to lift his still naked self onto the bus and whispered to yourself, “I promise to love your pee bone and folds forever, Peebone.”

THE END

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A/N

Felt a little punk rock today 😈👅🖕. Hope you freaky rockers enjoy this one!! 🧘‍♀️ . Make sure to like 👍 subscribe ✅ and hit that bell 🔔

Our inspiration: 🫶

[pedgecalmdown]

my alpha - p.p.

summary:

It’s the full moon, and piss boot seems to be hiding something.. 🤫🤔😈

word count: 1.5k

warnings: werewolf, sticky cheese, uncut wolf wewe, Tight Wolf Butthole, hot dog in bun, pejole many chins, pudgy werewolf, Wet Wolf Willy, Tight Wolf Butthole, brown bloody chunk squirt, unidentified wolf squirt?, Damp Clammy Enclosure, pissicle

It was a dark and stormy night, and you were on the couch with Piggle watching a scary werewolf movie. You noticed your sweet hubby wubby twiddling with his fingies, which you assumed was from the movie. You tried snuggling up to him to calm him down, but to your surprise he actually nudged you away. “Oh.. sorry babe, I’m just not comfortable with that right now. Maybe a little later..” Confused, you replied, “Oh… okay..” You climbed back onto the same position on the couch you were before, but with a newfound worry for your husband. Was he okay? Or was he simply just scared? You didn’t know how to bring up the subject without being awkward, so you just let him be.

You sit on the couch, opposite your husband once again. You felt worried that you had done something wrong, glancing at him every few minutes to see how he’s doing. He makes a peculiar coughing sound and moves his arm quickly to cover a random spot on his other side. He quickly stands up, “um.. I’ll- ill be right back.” He awkwardly trots away, as if something is hurting him. You couldn’t be more confused. You try to direct your attention back to the movie for a few minutes, but you hear a ruckus coming from the bedroom behind you. You debate on seeing what’s wrong, but decide it’s your right to know. You slowly tiptoe your way to the door, and open the doorknob slowly. Even while the door is only slightly cracked, you see a figure writhing around on the floor. ‘is that pissicle?’ You think to yourself. It can’t be, this creature is much too big and hairy to be him. Suddenly, the moonlight barely spills into the room. You’re horrified at the sight in front of you.

Without warning, the creature let’s out an almost agonizing howl while the light of the full moon shines down on him. It holds its head in its hands in pain, and you watch, frozen, as the creature grows bigger and bigger until it finally turns around and you can see its face. It’s… PEETLE?? You duck for cover, totally unsure of what to think. You continue to hear all sorts of ruckus and whatnot coming from the bedroom with the occasional howl, and suddenly, it stops. You peek your head out and see Pedro staring at the mess he caused, fully transformed into a werewolf. Upon examining him, to your dismay, you found his werewolf self actually very attractive. The clothes he was wearing before had ripped upon growing in size, and there was one particular part that had grown exponentially.. Petro turns around and sees you with fear in his eyes. “Y/N!! I’m sorry… I can explain…”

You say nothing. Your eyes are wide and staring at a particular part of him. He starts babbling about how he didn’t want you to see him like this and how this isn’t how he wanted you to find out but all you can do is stay wide eyed and silent. He slowly looks down and realizes what you’re looking at. He was so panicked that he didn’t realize his pants had completely snapped and were now completely gone. His werewolf Willy was out and about, standing straight up and hitting his pudgy furry belly. You start walking towards him and he steps back. “N-no.. im gonna hurt you if you get too close.. im not safe to be around right now!!!” You look into his eyes and step closer until his feet hit the wall. You stare up at him and notice his furry double chins and wolf mustache. His nose is wet with spit and snot and his eyes are teary. He lets out a wet cough and some spit gets on your face. You think back to the movie you two were watching. You didn’t think that werewolf was that scary, after all.

Suddenly, the look in Piddle’s eyes changed. Some primal werewolf instinct must’ve taken over him, because he immediately grabbed you with his paws and marched you over to the bed. You peeped his chins as he cheekily smiled and let go of you to lay down on the bed, large wolf stomach and member all out for you to admire. “You want a bite?” He asks mischievously. “Oh boy..you know I do..” You rub your hands together as if you were a mad scientist and Peejolé was your experiment. You immediately jump on your husband’s stomach, looking at his face and many chins. You gaze into his eyes and say with a smirk, “Where shall we begin?”

You start by rapidly removing your shirt and pants, leaving you in just your underwear. Polio stares at your chest. “Sweet mama! You really gotta sweet pair of milkies 🤤” he says, tongue hanging from his mouth. he brings his paws up to tickle you slightly. “Here comes the tickle monster!” His fingers dance over your stomach and chest, making you fall backwards in laughter. Once you’re on your back, he hovers over you and brings his hands to your underwear, ripping them off and eating them. He licks his lips, or where his lips would be, and starts lowering his head to you and sniffing you at a rapid pace. He sniffs everywhere, getting lower and lower. His chins stick out prominently as he does so. you bring your hand to his head to scratch him, and he lets out a fart of excitement. It quickly fills the room with a hellish, pungent odor. He is a wolf, so it makes sense.

His jaw eventually nears your entrance, and he goes full on wolf ham on you. He knocks you down with the force at which he was tasting you. In all this excitement, you hear multiple squeaks emerge from his butthole. It makes you smile. You were just so glad Pishposh was so comfortable with you. Unfortunately, the smell was so peppery and spiced, you could feel your dinner come back up and splatter all over your pleasurer. He doesn’t even look up at you while he continues to lick your whole body clean. It tickles!!! You’re giggling the whole time, but you eventually have to stop him to return the favor. You glance down at his Wet Wolf Willy and smile. His eyes light up and he squirts a little as he exclaims, “Boy oh boy I can hardly wait!” You cover your mouth with his finger and get to work.

You start licking the ginormous, uncut member, from the base to the tip. He lets out a high pitched moan, and you continue. You use your thumbs and pointer fingers, pinching, to pull down his Wolf Fore Skin to see loads of sticky cheese and buildup. You lick it clean, and savor the taste in your mouth. He shudders and squirts even more, this time coming out with chunks. You can tell he’s about to burst, so you start going faster. ‘Oh I know what’ll get him to blow..’ you think. You slowly sneak your finger under him, and shove it inside his Tight Wolf Butthole. He gasps and moans before letting out his wet, watery, translucent, chunky, brown seed into your mouth. You swallow it all, reveling in the feeling of the chunks sliding down your throat. “I guess it’s time to stuff your bun full of my furry hot dog, huh? 😏” he says with a smirk.

You immediately obey him and lay on your back. You can still feel the squirted brown, bloody chunks sliding down your throat. His Raging Red Rocket was slammed into you, and I mean SLAMMED. The sheer force of his thrust almost made you fly off the bed through the wall. His chins were staring you down as he continued to ram your Damp Clammy Enclosure. He gets so riled that he starts singing the song of his people.

“AWOOOO AWOOOOO AWOOOOOO.”

He’s claiming you as his territory, and you just love it. You feel yourself nearing completion and you let out a guttural moan. He starts pounding harder, so hard in fact that you have to hold onto his fur so he doesn’t propel you through the wall and out yonder. When you finally cum, you let out a loud, “OOGLY BOOGLY!!!” of satisfaction. Projectile looks pleased with his work and he gives you a smooch, except he doesn’t have lips so just licks your mouth. “I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did 😈😇😁”

You look at him with nothing but love in your eyes. “I did :3” you say. He collapses on top of you, crushing you with his weight in the best way possible. His chins land on your face, so you have to fold them away from you to breathe. You start petting his back and his tail starts wagging slowly. You giggle. I guess you could say you were addicted to your werecreature 😉😉

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A/N

We’re broadening our horizons for this one.. ☝️🤫.. lets just say.. we had some inspo… 😈😉

[pedgecalmdown]

baby got back - p.p.

summary:

You and Plotterfilt are being saucy, but things go a little backward 😜😜

word count:

1.2k

warnings:

Funny business, back arch, broken back, stiff stature, milk soaked dinosaur plushie, booster seat, stuck in car trunk, walking while limping from side to side, smelly toots, skid mark, chiropractor cracking back, tongue sticking out because of back crack, insufferable female lead, thumb suckling, HUZZAH!!

You laid there, barely moving as your beloved boyfriend, Pecorino, jackhammered into you, back arched and letting out high pitched moans with each thrust. His toes were curling and shaking as he neared his release. You grabbed onto his back and gripped onto him with an iron fist, nails digging

Into his skin. “Oh, pedgeword!” You cry. “Oh my goodness, honey bunchkins.. I’m.. I’m… HUZZah..- AAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!!!!!” Your boufriend let out a pulverizing screech that made you jump. Just after he had spilled his watery seed into you, he let out his scream and clutched his arched back. “Pulsierenden, what happened? Are you okay?” You ask, frantically. “MY BAAAAACK!! AHH!” He pulls out and stands up, back frozen in the arched position. He starts to cry and hyperventilate when he looks In the mirror and sees his deformed back. You cover your mouth in shock as your mund races. “Pavlova, we need to get to the emergency room, stat!”

Both of you were in a rush to put on clothes, and you put on an oversized hoodie and sweatpants while you help Poltergeist put on his t shirt of a cat riding a dinosaur with rainbows in the background with his orange dinosaur trunks. What a silly guy! You rush to the car and since Partition is so deformed, you have to throw him in the trunk because he can’t fit in the front seat. You accidentally hit Plobfrogulous against the wall and he started to cry. “YEEEOWCHHH!!” “It’s ok my brave brave boy, do you want your dinosaur plushie?” “yes” he said quietly while suckling his thumb in despair. You threw him his dinosaur plush you always keeps in his booster seat and started to drive to the hospital.

You arrive at the hospital and pull in, you being one of 5 cars there. You hop out and open the trunk to see Pubic sucking his thumb, holding his dinosaur plushie that’s soaked with milk close to his side, and back still severely arched. You pull him out and he slinks onto the floor, holding his milk doused plushie. “Come on pharmaceuticals, let’s get you out. And stop pouring milk in your plushie, it’s gonna mold.” “But when I suck the milk out it tastes so yummy!” He replies. He somehow stands up and limps from side to side as he tries to walk with his altered stature. You open the door for him and he walks into the lobby of the emergency room.

“Oh good lord.” The nurse at the front desk says. “Hey lady, that’s my hubby. Now he needs help, as you can CLEARLY see, so why dont cha get him in that darn room so you can tell me what’s wrong, got it toots?” You look at her with a fiery stare. “Sure thing.. uhh.. so what happened?”

Without breaking eye contact, with your hand on your hip you reply, “We were up to some.. funny business.. and my munchkin here got hurt. How about instead of asking questions you get to work, huh? C’mon, chop chop honey!” The front desk calls a nurse that has to toss Plogfrotter on a rolling bed because he’s so stiff, but while he’s being thrown, he drops his milk soaked dinosaur plushie on the floor which makes a loud slap because of the wetness. Placket’s lips immediately start to quiver and he reaches out his arms while closing and opening his hands. You pick up the moist plush and give it back to him, and he immediately starts sucking out the milk in comfort as you follow him and the nurse to the chiropractor unit.

You enter the room and Porglesnort is laid down on a black, leather chiropractor bed. Because of his arched back, his whole back isn’t touching the bed, only his shoulders and rear end. It pains you to see your boo boo sausage like this, and you wince in pain for him. The nurse who rolled him in tells you the chiropractor will be in shortly before walking out. You start hearing giggling from pugliss. “What’s so funny, prugglewort?” You ask. You hear a toot slip out from between his pimpled, damp, wrinkly and soggy flaps. His smile grows wider as you realize what he’s doing. “Plargus, not in here! It’ll stink when the doctor comes in!” You giggle behind your hand as his farting continues. The doorknob turns as the doctor comes in. “You must be y/n and pedge. What’s going o- oh my god, what did you do?” You told him the story in detail, not missing one thing. His face contorts in disgust, but pegger can’t see. Puckler can’t see a thing. Because of his back, his face is pulled back to look behind him. The chiropractor cracks his knuckles before saying, “alright, let’s see what I can do here.”

The chiropractor had to cover his nose due to being so close to Portswoggle. With Plittlefert’s posterior facing upwards, the room reeked significantly, the culprits likely being simultaneously the toots and some skid mark leftovers. The chiropractor tried to feel Pewt’s spine, but he was wriggling and crying so much he had to call multiple nurses to hold him down. “It’s gonna be okay my little sweet potato, if you be a good boy then I might even be able to get you a mcflurry!!” This seemed to brighten Puke’s spirit, and you wiped off his snotty nose with your sleeve. The chiropractor got to work, starting with his lower back and working his way up. Every time he cracked Pimparino’s spine, he cried out for his soaked dinosaur plush, and you held it over his head and wrung out the milk so he could drink it. Because his head was stuck upwards, he had trouble swallowing the milk, often leading to him coughing it out or it streaming out his nose. After what felt like forever, the chiropractor was almost at the top of his back, and Probfrolulous was so tired that he had his tongue sticking out of his mouth halfway. You reassured him, “You got this baby, it’s just the final stretch now!”

The chiropractor positioned his hands at the final spot, and cracked the life out of his back. Packroller stuck his tongue out and made intelligible noises. “Alright. That’s it, should be good as new!” The chiropractor said. “Thank you so much, doctor. Pagina, what do you say?” “fank you.” Pungy mumbles quietly, head down. “My pleasure. Be careful next time you uh, move your back like that.” You walk out of the room, holding porky’s hand. “Come on penile, let’s go home and go neepy neeps, okay?” “Okeley dokeley!” He says. On the drive home, pundit falls asleep in the passenger seat. When you arrive home, you shake him to wake him up. He wakes up with a wet fart. You take him inside and change him into his Jammie’s. He lays down on the bed, holding his plushie and sucking his thumb. You looked at him with love and pet his head. This is true love.

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A/N

Hey guys!! This one’s off the rails 😝😝 Hope you enjoy this cute poo poo sausage content!! Make sure to like 👍 subscribe, and hit that bell 🛎️🔔🚣

[pedgecalmdown]

ride the trikening - p.p.

summary:you and your boyfriend, parachutist, go to the store on your bike and trike, but it goes awry 😥

word count: 872

warnings: revving tricycle engine, strapped into tricycle seat, tricycle use, falling facedown in ditch while strapped in tricycle, peeing in ditch, crying in ditch, pee and dirt creating mud, spit and snot stream, four toed feet

You watched as the look on his face went from ecstatic to worried. “Pimple, what’s wrong?” He looks down and twiddles his fingers. “Well.. aw shucks. I guess I should tell you..” you look at him with a confused expression. “I uh… I.. I Never learned how to ride my bike..” you see tears start to well up in his eyes as his legs shake in his loose, greasy boxers. “Aw, pus, it’s alright. I can teach you!” His face is painted over with a look of eagerness as he smiles. “Okie dokie! Let’s hit the dusty trail, then!”

You and Plerntispulus scamper off to the shed to look for your bikes, but when you find them, one was rusted and unusable. Luckily, there was a perfect tricycle waiting to be used. Participants was starting to get distracted, so you clicked your tongue to call him back to you. “Platypus, I want you to use this tricycle for now until we get another bike.” His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of his new whip, and he climbed on the seat and pretended to rev the engine with his handles. “Oh yeah, hear this baby PURR!!” To Plier’s distaste, you held him still and strapped him into the tricycle seat. “BUT IM A BIG BOY!!! I DONT NEED A STRAP!!” He continued to thrash against the seat as you buckled him in, but eventually he gave up and stayed still. You got on your bike and gestured for him to follow you, and with that, off you went.

You started on your way. You walked your bike behind pwarf, watching him to see if he was stable enough to ride without supervision. After a minute or two, you decided it was ok to hop on your bike. You passed him, and as you went faster, he followed. You hadn’t realized, but porous was shuffling his legs on the pedals at an alarming rate, which in turn was shaking the trike. You looked behind you to see pisswater shaking and rumbling on his trike, determined to catch up to you. You giggle and just to tease him, start going a tiny bit faster. You can see the store in the distance. As you’re letting the wind hit your face, you hear a slam on the rough pavement, and something tumble down the ditch beside you.

You quickly rode over to Pimp , who was still strapped into the trike while facedown in the ditch. “My sweet cheeks? Are you okay?” You heard high pitched muffled crying through the dirt. “HMMMFFFFFF HMF MMFFFFFF” “Okay just calm down, I’ll be back in a moment. Hold tight my booger bear! You’re being so brave!!” At the speed of light, you rode to the store and got all the supplies you needed. You grabbed some dinosaur party hats, some sonic the hedgehog decorations, a paw patrol cake, and a slushee for your cuddle bear. You quickly checked out and rode back to Pertinent, who was still crying in the dirt. However, the dirt around his crotch had turned into mud. You were very concerned and scurried down the huge ditch and tried to unbuckle Puissant as quickly as possible. He was in hysterics the entire time, and when he was finally able to stand up, his eyes were red, he was covered in dirt and mud, and there was yellow liquid streaming down his leg, which you assumed was what caused the mud. “Pedge, calm down. You’re okay now. Let’s get you home.”

You help him go up the steep hill of the ditch, and he trips along the way. Once you get to the top, you sit him down on the curb and go back to the ditch to fetch the trike. Once you brought it up, you swiped your hand across the seat to rid of the dirt, and held petrusion’s hand as he sat back down. “Are.. are you sure about this? I feel a little queasy.” He said, mouth hanging open with a string of spit and snot hanging from his mouth and nose respectively. “You’re gonna be alright, prostate.” He gently placed his rear end on the seat, and put his 4 toed feet on the pedals. You gave him a slight push, and off he went. He occasionally rotated his wrist on the handlebar, pretending to rev the engine and going “RARRRRRRRRW”. You rode alongside him and smiled as you rode into the sunset.

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Hey guys! Just a short story today, make sure to drop a follow if you want some new sick, bitchin fics, and don’t forget to hit that bell 🔔 if you want notifs. Toodloo!

[pedgecalmdown]

GG - p.p.

Summary: You help your boyfriend Population with gaming, and things get a little wild 😜.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: AVERAGE OHIO GAMER!!!🤣Oozing, secretion, semi public sex, pesky pimples, steaming brown loaf, dark pee, watery sperm, nip suckling, pepperoni nipples, pee in womb, pungent toots, crusty red penis, crusty unclipped toes on your shoulders, uncut gym dog, hairy hog, cheesy wee wee, poop on tray, fart inhaling, fortnite, eating sleeping gaming and repeating, tuna smoothie, damp chicken nuggets, cavernous butthole

blueprint: ur sitting on tv e couch and perd is in his gaming room playing for the past few weeks and u hear him occasionally say goddamnit and smack the table and ur like his personal butler and he poops on tray and u feed him and he gets pimples and then he loses and he starts punching trh walks and u have sex with him to cheer him up

you’re sitting on the couch in your shared home with your boyfriend, panky, when you hear a large bang coming from panera’s gaming room. You stand up and start slowly walking over to the gaming room. “Penis? Whats wrong?” As you arrive at the doorframe of the room, you can see your visibly angry, sweaty, greasy-haired, pimpled boyfriend breathing heavily with his head in his hands as he growls. “These.. these little.. BAKAS!!!” He slams his fists down on the table and you jump a little. “Pedge, calm down. It’s gonna be ok. It’s just a game.” You knew pig iron would get mad sometimes, but you had never seen him in this state.

“It’s not just a game. it’s my entire life. Eat, sleep, game, repeat.” Placenta said while balling his shaking fists. It’s almost like you could see the steam blowing from his ears. You could see his face so red with anger, but you weren’t scared since he can’t even get out of his chair. He spoke again, sweat and grease flying from his hair onto your body. “Now if you would excuse me, I need to get back on my grind. GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!” You contemplated giving him a kiss on the forehead, but the amount of raging, oozing pimples he has turned the thought down. You turned away from Portable and walked to the door, but before you left, your sticky little nugget called your name. “Y/N!! I’m hungyyy!!! Get some food in my tummy NOW!!”

You roll your eyes and smile. You couldn’t stay mad at PlayStation. You open the freezer and grab some frozen tuna. You put it in the blender and start blending. You didn’t know why Pensions loved tuna smoothies, but you made them nonetheless because they were good for him. Especially in his current state. You made the smoothie along with some squishy, moist chicken nuggets that had been in the pantry for a week or 2. You put the nuggets in the microwave hoping to warm them up, but they just got squishier and the grease leaked everywhere. You put them on a plate and started walked over to pewter’s room, grease dripping from the plate onto your toes. You knock on the door with the knuckles holding the smoothie. He opens the door from his chair with armpit sweat stains all the way to the bottom of his shirt. “Here’s your food, plagerism.” “Fank u!” 🥺 He says.

Pube looks at you with his adorable wittle puppy dog eyes and asks, “can you pwease feed me while I game mami?” His index fingies pointing together while he asks. You reply ecstatically. “Of course!! Nothing but the best for my little poo poo muffin.” You walk to pillar’s desk while he slides back on his chair. “Who’s a hungry boy?” you ask. “Me me me!” He replies. You lovingly feed your wet, secreting poopsie some tuna smoothie and damp chicken nugget while he plays some Fortnite. Occasionally, some food will come flying onto his already dirty monitor as he spits some out while he swears. Suddenly, Perpendicular makes a strained face and he turns to look at you for the first time in the past hour. “Huns, I gotta go poo poo.”

“Then go to the bathroom, poopsie pumpkin!” You say. “But I don’t wanna get up!” He replies. “I know just what to do.” You say, a devilish smirk slowly taking over your face. You grab the empty plate that once held the chicken nuggets, and the bottle that once held the tuna smoothie and placed them on the floor. You scooched pubescent’s pants far down enough so that his butt crack was out. You then picked up the plate and bottle again and held it to his sweaty, dripping butt cheeks. You played with the pesky pimple just showing from inside his butt. “Ok, push out your poopy honey!” He starts straining and you can see his cavernous butthole pulsating with each push. Finally, a thick, steaming, brown loaf starts to see the light of day. As he pinches it off, it plops onto the plate and splatters on your face a bit. You smile and look up at him. “Is that all?” “Yes mami!” He says. You take the plate and stare at the steaming pile of blow mud your boyfriend has taken. Suddenly, you have an idea.

Since peroxide has been complaining about losing so many matches, you’ve been thinking of the best way to cheer him up and… EUREKA!! Sex is the answer! You throw the reeking plate of poop to the other side of the room as the log slaps against the wall and start to massage your schnookum’s shoulders and whisper in his ear. “you’ve been working so hard, and i’m so proud of you. i think you deserve a little break” you say with a cheeky smile. He looked over at you, catching onto your tone and smirks back. You immediately take off Pachycephalosaurus’ pants and go ham on his growing buddy, covered in cheese and mysterious substances. His head rolls back in pleasure as his crotch becomes soaked in your slobber. In his relief, he throws his bare legs over your shoulders, crusty unclipped toes in the air. “That’s my big boy.” You say.

You keep slurping on plorpus’s throbbing member until he shoots his cute little yogurt ropes down your throat. They’re usually thicker and warmer, but this time they had a brown tint and were watery with white chunks. One of the chunks got lodged beteeen your teeth and you picked it out eith your finget and swallowed it. You smiled and got up. You then straddled his lap in the chair and put your legs through the holes between the bottom and the armrests. You move your underwear aside as you look down to grab his flaccid, jiggly, hairy, veiny, red, Disfigured, drooling, cheesey, wet member. He suddenly decides to release his bladder all over your cubby. You’re not surprised since he hasn’t left his chair in almost 2 months. You giggle and sink down on his hairy hog. You both moan in ecstasy and throw your heads back as pushpop continues to release his lemonade in your womb. You start bouncing up and down on his uncut gym dog.

You can feel Portapotty’s warm urine in your purse, and it feels exhilarating. You rip off your shirt and bra and continue to bounce on his crusty, rashy little man, boobs a flappin. He’s enamored with the sight of your balloons, and without thinking, he immediately goes down on your nips. There was too much pleasure for you to handle, and the only thing that came out of your mouth were loud, guttural wails. “Ohhhh my shmoopie, you’re doing me so well” You finally said after a moment. You throw him off your breasts and take off his shirt, kissing his neck and going down until you reach his own greasy, pepperoni nipples and start suckling. You continue to bounce in his wee wee, and while you do, you unexpectedly start to let out little toots that quickly stink up the whole room. Pessimism is overjoyed and immediately starts deeply inhaling the smell. “ohhh yeah, that hit the spot.”

You keep bouncing for a minute or two, until you both orgasm together. “GOOD GOLLUMS!!” He erupts. You both moan and you sink down into him, your nose stuffed in his hairy, stinky, wet, greasy, putrid, pungent armpits. You stay like that for a moment and let his warmth take over your body. Suddenly, you start to hear little noises erupting from the back of the chair. Providence starts giggling as you bring your head up and look at him. The noises get louder and stinkier, and you realize he’s letting out his toots. You giggle and start getting off of petroleum’s Willy, only for his brownly tinted, watery, chunky, lifeless, ejaculate to come spilling out of your gaping hole, along with his severely dark pee. You clean the two of you up and kiss your boyfriend on his pimply forehead. You hadn’t noticed before, but when he took his headphones off, there was a noticeable dent in his head where they were resting. He put them on and they went right back into position. You smiled and let him continue his gaming. Suddenly, he turns to you. “Uhh, babe, you’re gonna wanna see this. My mic was on the entire time!” ‘XD’ he says out loud. The people in his game were making disgusted noises and asking him what he was doing. You both guggle as you walk out of the room. You were happy to be his gamer wife.

[pedgecalmdown]

Making A Splash - p.p.

summary: you and your boyfriend, pecker, go to the pool on a hot summer day.. let’s just say things got way hotter than you thought they would be! 😁🙂

word count: 2.2k

warnings: highchair use, tantrums😜, pool sex, public sex, hairy hog on the loose, four toed foot, pecan as a shark, pool filters, messy popsicles, learning to swim like a baby falling in water with hand snapping😌

it’s a sunny summer afternoon, and you’re sitting on your porch with your cute little hubby, plague. He got a little frisky earlier, so you had to put him in his high chair to calm him down. Luckily, it worked, and you’re both eating popsicles in a nice summer breeze while he kicks his messy camo crocs from his high chair. You could see that Pilfer was globbering down on his popsicle, his mouth and fingers getting sticky from the mess. Once he’s done, he starts getting upset and smacks his hands on the surface of his high chair. “babbeee im all dirtyyyy and there’s nothing to clean me uuuppp!!!” He says in a whiny voice. You ponder for a moment, and come up with a solution to this debacle. “How about we go to the pool?”

As you rummage through drawers trying to find piston some trunks to wear, he’s putting on his water socks so he doesn’t hurt his tootsies on the rough surface of the pool. “Are you sure I’m ready? I’m a little bit nervous..” pelaton asks. He had always had a fear of swimming and of big bodies of water, and you had always wanted to get him more used to it so he could overcome his fear. “You got it baby, I know you can do it. Remember when you wouldn’t eat your veggies because you thought they would taste bad but when you ate them you realized you loved them? I’m sure it’ll be a peace of cake, just like those!” You cheerfully replied. You kept searching in the drawer until you found the perfect pair of trunks for thanksgiving to wear to the pool. They were bright orange, and had dinosaurs on them. They looked a little small, but you were sure they would fit.

You left the room for paleontology to change, and once you came back in you were surprised as to what you saw. Your honey buns was leaning against the doorframe with a sly smirk and then gestured to his trunks with his hands. “You like what you see?” He questioned with a cheeky tone. “I love what I see.” You replied, replicating the tone. Powder put on sunglasses and walked over to the mirror and started doing finger guns at himself. “Hey there good lookin, what are you up to today?” He couldn’t stop smiling at himself and you couldn’t hold back your smile at his happiness. You remind him, “Before we get in the pool, we need to put on your swim gear like the big boy you are!” You grabbed a snorkel, arm floats, a donut hip floaty, and flippers, and helped put them on your giddy boyfriend. Once all of plaintiff’s gear was on, he was ecstatic and pulling you to the door by your arm. “Come on! Come on! lets gooo!”

As you walk into the sign-in in front of the pool, you can’t help but take in your pumpkins appearance. He had all his gear, but the donut floaty caught your eye and reminded you of the tantrum he had thrown hours earlier at target.

He stomped his flip flopped feet on the ground as the expression on his face grew angrier by the second. “I WANT THE DONUT FLOATY!! THE PLAIN ONE IS UGLY!!” You stared at purchasing. “Pedge, calm down. The plain blue floaty is cheaper, it’s your favorite color, and they both work the same!” “I DONT CARE. I WANT THE DONUT NOW. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!” You looked him in the eyes and you caved in. How could you say no when he looked so good? “Fine. But if you act like this again, I’m making you eat DOUBLE your veggies and no dessert.” You picked up the donut floaty box and headed to the cashier. Peddler’s flip flops flipped and flopped behind you.

The memory made you chuckle. What a little goober porridge was! Your hot shot’s flip flops were clapping against the floor as he was walking to the sign in. You found this quite chucklesome. Pork eagerly wrote his name on the check in sheet and rushed to the pool, tripping over his feet as he struggled to walk in his flip flops. He stopped in his tracks right at the pool ledge and looked back at you with concern. “It’s okay my stud muffin, if you learn to swim like the big boys do then I won’t make you eat any veggies at all!” You reassured. His eyes immediately lit up and he did a heel click in his excitement. He then started rubbing his palms together and put on a sinister smile. “Let’s do this.”

You take off all of his floating gear so that when he falls in he really has to work to float. You can see the nervous look spreading across his face. “Don’t worry poopsock, you’re gonna do so well.” “If you s-s-say so..” You sat plorpus down at the edge of the pool with his feet dangling in the water. He lightly licked them as you slowly walked in right in front of him. “Ok, you got this” you told him. He quirked an eyebrow and nodded once. You started snapping in front of his face. “Here, here, come on, this way.” He slowly leaned forward and made a huge splash as he fell in. He thrashed around in the water, limbs flying everywhere. You stepped back to give him some space, and he floated to the surface, belly up and limbs in the air. The look on his face looked like he was about to cry. “That was so scaryyyyyyyheeeeheee” his sentence turned into a wail. “You did so well, punctuation.” You floated to the top, just like I said! Come on, let’s do that a few more times.” With that, he stopped crying. You supported his weight as he floated to the ladder, and once he got out he practiced falling in a few more times. Each time you practiced, he cried, but once he got on the ladder and sat on the edge again, he totally forgot what was happening and was eager to do whatever you said.

Eventually, he had gotten used to falling in the water and floating up to your snapping hand, and now you decided that he was ready to go into the deep end. “well, here goes nothing!!”, preston yelled as he jumped in. “Here, here, come up.” you directed him as he thrashed around in the water, not quite used to the lack of floats. After a few seconds, he emerged from the water and squealed in excitement. “That. was. AWESOME!!” “That’s my talented hunk!! no veggies for you tonight!!” “yesss!!” he exclaimed as he pumped his fist in the air. You were so proud of him, and you allowed him to play on his own for a bit while you tanned on a chair nearby. After a bit, pussy called your name. “Babe, babe, babeeee!! look!!” You turned your head to look at him. “what is it my dream boat?” He was grinning from ear to ear. “Watch me do a handstand” He immediately dived below the water and you saw his hairy legs and four toed foot aimed towards the sky to fall forward immediately after. His head reappeared on the surface, and he was swallowing water that got caught in his throat. You started clapping for his performance. You were so proud of how far he has come today.

He lifted himself out of the pool and awkwardly fell on his stomach on the pool deck. He ran around the side of the pool until a lifeguard blew a whistle. ‘WOOOOOOOO’ “please do not run on the pool deck.” He shouted. “Ugh, fine.” Pedro’s 4-toed feet speed walked to the diving boards. “Babe, babe babe, babe, y/n look I’m gonna be like a shark! Come look!” He yelled to you. He climbed onto one of the boards as you started walking towards him. You sat yourself on the edge of the pool that was on the left of the diving boards. “Go ahead, pillsbury.” You looked at him with admiration as he jumped and flailed into the water. He bobbed back up and started slowly swimming to you with his hand vertical on his head. He started singing the theme from Jaws. “Duh nuh. Duh nuh. Duh nuh. Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh!!” He swam faster and faster until he reached your tootsies. He started playfully gnawing on them as you giggled. “Peter, stop!! It tickles!” He came up for air and laughed. “Alright, my turn to jump in!” You said, getting out and walking to the diving boards.

You did a cannonball in the water and Poland started snorting from the water that went up his nose from the splash. You swim up to him and peck him on the mouth and he gives you a sly grin. “do you still like what you see?” Below the water he gestures to his tight swim trunks, which appear to be getting even tighter with his growing red rocket. “Oh my boo boo nugget, I am obsessed with what I see”. You didn’t break eye contact with pectoral, who kept occasionally dipping below water, swallowing it, and aggressively kicking his feet to resurface. You continued to take off your bikini and throw them to the pool ledge. He watched you intently, and you could see him start licking his lips in yearning. You reached towards his dinosaur trunks which contained his still growing hose and pulled them off his long fuzzy legs, revealing his incredibly hard cock and balls. He awkwardly enters your warmth and goes ham, occasionally slipping out from loss of balance. Both of you are a moaning mess. Both of you were being flung all around the pool from the sheer force of plart’s thrusting, and in the corner of your eye, you see yourselves getting closer to a pool filter..

“Wait! Wait wait wait hold on, stop!” You suddenly stop your movements just as Pedestrian does. With his gym dog still inside you, he starts trying to move the two of you away from the pool filter by flailing his arms and feet. In his attempt to move away, he actually pulled the two of you closer, causing him to panic. “NOOO!! AAAAAAHHHH” Pestable lets out a bloodcurdling scream that alarms you. “PESHMERGA, STOP! IT'S OKAY CALM DOWN!” You start gracefully swimming the two of you in the opposite direction of the pool filter. “Sorry.. I was just.. scared.” He says, looking away. “Why were you scared? It’s just a pool filter.” “I know, I know, but.. what if it.. started sucking me up?” You giggle as you see his face growing redder by the minute. “It won’t suck you up, don’t worry. Lets just stay away from it anyways.” And with that, pegetable is continuing his hard thrusts into you. “Ahh, babe I’m- ughhh- close!!” He says. Not more than 10 seconds later, hes painting your insides with his warm juices.

“OOOOHHH SAINT HEAVENS” palatable bellowed as he climaxed. Immediately after, you orgasmed too, and you just floated in the water with your num nums in sweet relief. President then said breathily, “wowie.. that was bonkers!!” He then glanced at his deflated balloon and started hurriedly looking around, getting more panicked by the minute. His little buddy was floating around in the water as he swam. “What is it platitudinous?” You curiously asked. “Where are my dinosaur trunks?” He replied with a worried tone. Your lack of response made his eyes tear up. “NOOO!! NO NO NOO!! THOSE ARE MY BIG BOY TRUNKS!!!” He started angrily slapping the surface of the water and swallowed the droplets of water that was being splashed. “I WANT MY TRUNKS NOOWW! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!” You recognized this tantrum to be very similar to the one he had earlier, and you rushed to comfort Powerline. “There there, poverty, since you’ve been such a brave boy today, I’ll let you skip your veggies AND get you a new pair of swim trunks.” This seemed to help him calm down, and he wiped off his snot with some pool water. “okay” he said quietly. “That’s my good tater tot, now let’s go.”

You got out of the water and grabbed a towel. You walked back to the ladder and handed it to poop so he could cover up as he got out. He stepped out and grabbed the towel before wrapping it around his waist lazily. He started waddling slowly, hunched over to the chair where all of your things were placed. He picked up some things just as you did, and you both started walking back to the sign in to leave. In the middle of the trip, the towel fell, but portion didn’t notice. You watched his flat, high ass waddle as he slapped his feet against the pool deck. “Uhh, penetrant? Looks like you’re forgetting something!” You start giggling to yourself as phlegm starts looking around, oblivious as to what he’s missing. His gym dog is flailing about until he realizes his towels fallen off. “Oh brother, silly me! Looks like there’s a hairy hog on the loose..” Protestantism smiles and starts chasing you around, gym dog wagging with each movement. Who cared about the lifeguard? All you cared about was your perfect poo poo puppy, and that was it.

THE END.

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A/N: This could be our naughtiest one yet! What do you think? 🤔🧐 Leave a comment and a like if you enjoyed 🙂 Make sure to like, subscribe and hit that that bell!🛎️🔔🔕💁‍♀️

[pedgecalmdown]

For reference, this is how much I love you. - p.p.

summary: your boyfriend petheret wants to try something new, and you help him along the way to show him how much you love him.

Word count: 1.5k

Idea: piddle chamber

warnings: butt hair removal, sex toy use, diarrhea jet stream, rough pounding, anal, premarital lathering

you and your boyfriend of 2 years, perjure, were sitting in bed together, your head on his chest as he watched a video on his laptop, with his headphones in. You weren’t paying attention to what he was doing, until you decided to look at his screen. He was in the description of a video by someone named Kevin Leonardo. He was reading through links and text. He hadn’t noticed you were looking at his screen yet. He started clicking on links from the description, and you were surprised by what you read on the website that the link led him to.

One link led him to a page of various sex toys for inexperienced bottoms for sale. Plert seemed to be examining all of them, but he seemed particularly interested in the demonstration videos that Kevin Leonardo provided. Closed captions were on, and you could see that Kevin was saying that the majority of the toys worked best with a hairless butthole. You can see Pirt’s eyes narrow in thought, and this is when he asks, “Hey babe? Do we still have that bottle of nair?”

You gaze up at him from where you were lying on his chest. “Uhh, yeah, I think so. Why?” You ask, even though you already know why he’s asking. “Well..” he

looks at his fingers as he fidgets with them. “I kinda wanted to try something for us, and I need the Nair to uh…well- i… I g-“ you cut him off to finish his sentence. “Pesculate, are you talking about removing butt hair so I can use butt toys on you?” His eyes widen and his mouth opens in shock. “How… what? How did you know that?” “I was right here while you were looking at them, duh! Don’t worry, I’ll help you nair your cute little butt scrunchie. Then we can have all the fun we want,” You say with a smirk.

Patrick’s mouth changes from jaw dropped to a cheeky smirk. “C’mon babe, let’s do this.” Both of you clamber out of bed and rush towards the bathroom. You pull out the Nair from under the sink and Plork is giddy, jumping up and down with a look of pure happiness on his face. “Put it on! Put it on!” He exclaims as he hurriedly takes off his pants and underwear, his uncut willy and bare planets jiggling while he bends over and spreads his cheeks. You can’t help but chuckle at his gigglesome display of childlike joy over such a questionable event. You uncap the Nair and pour a squelching amount of it on your hands and proceed to place it on your boyfriend’s cute pale moons.

as you rub the light yellow paste over his cheeks, you start getting into his crack. You rub all around it, really applying thick layers all over every inch of skin you can touch. You feel a little cheeky and start putting the nair just inside the threshold of his bussy. He giggles and lets out a quiet whimper. You do it again, this time getting farther in, and he lets out a loud moan. You pull your finger out of his asshole and your finger is followed by a loud, wet, damp fart. You fan the air towards your nose and sigh happily. you make sure the nair is fully covering every hairy inch of your hubby. “Alright pathological, you’re all done. Stay like this for…” You look at the bottle. “Three minutes.” He looks behind himself to look at you. “Awesome sauce! Thanks honey.”

Once the three minutes passes, parfait calls for you excitedly. “Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! I can’t contain myself!” You see his asscheeks tremble with his joy. He’s still hunched over the bathroom floor with his planets to the sky, and the sight of it makes you tingle. You grab a paper towel and glide it along plomp’s smooth cheeks and pulsating butthole and watch as it picks up all the loose hairs. “Oh boy!!” He yells. “You better hold on tight!” You reply. It takes a lot of paper towels and excited howls but all of the hair is finally gone. Partridge looks at himself in the mirror as his fingers glide over his now smooth rear end. He looks at you lovingly, strides his way in your direction, and grabs your face to give you a big sloppy smooch. He then says something that surprises you, “Some toys I ordered a few days ago have arrived, maybe we could test them out?”

You both smirk and without a word, he’s pulling you back over to the bedroom. He kneels beside the bed and pulls out a shoebox. He has 3 toys ranging in size. He pulls out the smallest one and hands it to you. “Can you do the honors?” You smile and nod as Porsche climbs onto the bed, arching his smooth, pale boulders to the ceiling. You climb behind him and inspect the toy. It’s bright turquoise, and has a suction cup at the base. You line the tip up at pucky’s clencher. “You ready?” You ask him. “I was born ready.” He says. He lets out a loud lion roar and does a claw motion, and with that, you pushed it in. You give him a moment to adjust and he’s slightly groaning and clutching his belly. “Am I good to move?” He nods, eyes squeezed together and teeth gritting. You start pumping in and out, faster and faster, and he loves it. He becomes a moaning mess in front of you. Suddenly, he looks onback at you. “Wait, Y/N, I think I- oughhhhhh~” you assume he’s just trying to tell you he’s gonna arrive, so you just keep going. Without another warning, your hand gets blasted backwards with the toy. The toy flies out of your grip and you look just to the left of you to see that an incredible jet stream of diarrhea is blasting out of your boyfriend’s asshole. You’re amazed and look back to see the toy suction cupped to the wal from the force of the blow.

“Woah! That was a big one!” You exclaim, shocked. The entire bed as well as the ceilings has been stained brown, and both of you are shell shocked. Polyester was blasted to the other side of the room and is looking back at you with a humiliated stare, his engorged penis still raging hard and with blue balls. Despite your bedroom being covered in your boyfriend’s rancid, putrid diarrhea, all you have on your mind is to keep pleasuring him. You decide to take charge of the situation. “Get back on the bed.” Your words make Polynomial’s eyes light up in surprise. “Yes ma’am.” He says respectfully, and crawls back onto the bed into the same position he was in before. You pull the toy from the wall with some force and hurriedly reapply it. Your boyfriend is looking up at you with puppy dog eyes and you immediately start throbbing at the sight. You continue to go ham on his asshole while surrounded by his inner discardings and the room is filled with pollution’s loud, earth quaking moans.

Finally, he comes undone and collapses onto the bed. You pet his back. “Aww, do you need to rest? That was a lot, huh?” “yeah…” “Let’s get you in the bathtub, ok?” You pull him up and carry him into the bathroom as you leave a trail of brown footsteps along the way. You place him in the tub and pull his clothes off. You start running the water, and soon enough, you’re pouring water on his shoulders and his hair. You’re sitting on the back of the tub to stay dry, and you grab the shampoo from beside you. You squirt some into your hand and lather it into pumpernickel’s wet hair. You sit there for what feels like hours, lathering away. You wash off the shampoo and start washing his body. Once he’s all clean, you step up and help him get out. He’s hunched over a twinge, and you admire the thick patches of hair that adorn his back, chest, shoulders, neck, arms, and legs. You dry him off and carry him back to the bedroom. You open the dresser and pull out his pajamas. You put them on him, and you tuck him into the shit soaked comforter. “I love you, pedicure.” You say. “I wuv you too.” He says back. Since his bedtime is at 7:30 and it’s 8 by now, he’s tired, but you’re not. You just sit next to him, running your fingers through his hair for hours until you fall asleep next to him. You know you’ll remind him of this day to show him how much you love him. You’ll say, “For reference, this is how much I love you.”

the end.

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A/N: HEY!!! This is our second fan fiction and we hope u guys luvz it 😻😻💗✨✨ thanks to Kevin Leonardo for the inspo, his gaping, cavernous asshole really reminded me of my poo poo puppy, pedge. 💗💗✨

[pedgecalmdown]

A ROODALY TOOT TOOT! - p.p.

warnings: daddy kink, public sex, pee, puke, age gap, rim job, chocking

summary: your boyfriend pethe is nervous and you give him some help to soothe him 🧘‍♀️

word count: 1k

You and your hot older boyfriend, petro piscel, are at a very important interview for his popular new tv show. It’s very important that petro doesn’t make a bad impression, as so many people will see it. Petro is being interviewed in 30 minutes, and you can see that he’s anxious to get on stage. He’s taking a few sips of beer to loosen himself up before going on.

you’re standing with him before the stage, eyes glimmering as you watch the lights shine on it. you direct your attention to your nervous boyfriend. He ushered you to come with him to wait right by the stage a few minutes ago to make sure he would be early and ready to get on stage right on time. You’re not sure why he’s so nervous since he has an entire half hour until the interview.

“Pedge, calm down. We have 30 whole minutes, why do we have to wait by the stage already?” You say to your now deep-breathing hubby.

“I don’t know, I’m just nervous that I’ll mess up and ruin my reputation.” He looks down at his fiddling hands.

As your hubby takes another sip of beer, you see his figure start to quiver. You’re aware that he’s getting tipsy, and you know that won’t make a good impression for the interviewer. There’s too much at stake for this interview to be messed up. Suddenly, it hits you. Eureka! You know exactly what’ll sober him right up! Excitedly, you whisper to your shaking boyfriend. “Meet me in the bathroom, it’ll help your performance ;)”

His eyes widen as he puts on a goofy smile. You two had done this before, so he already knew in what was gonna happen. You take him by the hand and lead him to the family bathroom. You prayed that no families were gonna appear and all have to use the bathroom, but you knew nobody would. You yank open the door and once you get inside he flips you to face him and pushes you against the door, your lips immediately glabbering onto each other. His left hand went to lock the door as his right came to your waist, gripping it with as much strength as he uses to hold in a diesel fart, or perhaps even a jet stream of diarrhea.

You scamper to unbelt his jeans while petro hurriedly takes off your shirt. He has an intense hard on, and his muscular, long, veiny member flies out of his unbuckled jeans as you pull your pants down. He immediately turns you around and aggressively slams himself into your warmth, making you release a moan. Suddenly, he stops. You ask him what’s wrong and he declares, “I think *hic* I had too many drinks earlier-.” He immediately belts out a long waterfall of barf all over your slick back, but surprisingly, it doesn’t deter you from him. It only makes you want him more.

You slowly look back at petch with wide eyes. Your mouth curls into a sinister grin. He covers his mouth and slightly giggles. You take your index and middle finger and swipe across your back, lifting your digits to your mouth. You turn around to face your boyfriend and suck your fingies clean. He lowers his hand as his jaw drops. Once you're slurping it all off of your fingers, Peter brings his head down to your back and licks a long stripe from your tailbone to the bottom of your neck. You shiver at the contact. As he licked you, he grabbed his throbbing, red member and aggressively shoved it into you and slowly quickened the pace. He fists your hair and pulls your head back as his balls slap against you with quick, hard ‘clap’s.

The slapping of his veiny, swollen testicles only makes you want him more, and he’s forced to cover your mouth as you let out a loud echoing moan. His balls are so swollen and puffy that you can see the veins popping out. You think you can almost see the blood coursing through them. Your boobs clap against each other due to the sheer force of your sexy boyfriend’s thrusts. Pitdro groans as his throbbing manhood leaks with precum. A brilliant idea sparks in your mind. You tell him to stop, and confused, he does. You kneel down, and lunge yourself onto Piddros throbbing cock, chowing down messily and sloppily, and it immensely turns you on when his eyes roll back in pure bliss.

He grabs your hair and starts pulling you off and pushing him off his curved, uncut weiner aggressively. “Fuck baby girl, you’re sucking me so well.” You can barely focus on his praise as you try to focus on breathing through your nose and not suffocating with the tip of his willy tickling the back of your throat. With each slam, he lets out little toots and his balls slap onto your chin. His jungle of pubes tickles your nostrils and you hold in a sneeze. His toots eventually start filling the room, and you start gagging even harder. Pecker sniffs the air and his head falls back and his eyes flutter and close. “Ahh babe, you gotta smell this one.”

The smell of his rancid toots turns both of you on, and Piddle pushes you down and stumbles into 69ing position. He goes ham on your throbbing little wet tuna purse, and you give him the sloppiest blowjob ever on his large veiny man stick. Both of you let out groans and moans as you’re simultaneously receiving the most astonishing head of your life. Your tuna purse is dripping, and so is your hubby’s large cock. After a bit, you climax so intensely it leaves you immobile, and the final lick you give your boyfriend’s unfathomably large member makes him climax too. “A ROODALY TOOT TOOT!” Peedle exclaims. Both of you lie on the bathroom floor, in complete, utter awe of what you had just performed. You just knew that Pidre would do amazing on the interview now.

the end

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A/N : hey guys! this is our first fic✨✨✨ hope you luv it 😻😻😻😻