perfectlyimperfectmisst

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Acceptance...

A connection of mine on LinkedIn has written a few lines about acceptance.  I pretty much never look at LinkedIn now - algorithms that boost certain types of content now mean it’s stuffed full of dubious ‘inspirational’ stories and formulaic posts.  But a few connections post things that are interesting.  

As far as acceptance goes… I have a need for this in my personal life as I deal with a difficult situation that has been rumbling in the background.  I suppose by default I am an ‘anything for a quiet life’ person. I’m usually very ok with that, but as with every character trait, this also comes with a cost.  People with this type of personality must live with the attendant risk of putting up with small scale provocations for too long - they have a preference for keeping the peace.

How often I speak to people who fall into this camp!  People who have accepted difficult conditions or unwanted intrusions and find it becomes hard to make any objection.  “Each thing seems so small in isolation!” they might say… “How can I complain over something that, taken individually, seems so small, so petty?”  Well, I think most of us can relate to that feeling at times.  But this can rumble on for years or even decades as a destructive pattern until there is a blowout.  And usually this comes as a shock. 

If clients bring issues like this to therapy, then we’re likely to talk about boundaries, how to get in touch with your own emotions, perhaps your own sense of ‘anger’ (sometimes for the first time ever) and integrate this in a more helpful way - a process of learning how to bargain on your own behalf and become more assertive in relationships.  But we’re also likely at some point to talk about acceptance.  About accepting the things one cannot change, if nothing else.

So…I was sitting down for a minute and my mind began to reflect on this troublesome relationship in my life - and the cumulative psychological cost to those I care for - and I found my mood darkening again.  These words just nudged me to remember where my focus ought to be.  Yes… new boundaries are now needed in that particular relationship. But, crucially, I can choose how long I hold onto the deep sense of frustration and disappointment I’ve been experiencing at times in recent weeks.  I can instead accept the situation, and then let some of that go.

Here it is, short and sweet:

Acceptance

When we don’t accept an undesired event, it becomes *Anger*; when we accept it, it becomes *Tolerance.* 

When we don’t accept uncertainty, it becomes *Fear*; when we accept it, it becomes *Adventure.* 

When we don’t accept other’s bad behaviour towards us, it becomes *Hatred;* when we accept it, it becomes *Forgiveness.* 

When we don’t accept other’s Success, it becomes *Jealousy;* when we accept it, it becomes *Inspiration.* 

Acceptance is the key to handling life well. Basically, don’t fight with reality.

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Today I was sad. This is what that looked like...

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Never a truer word said in my eyes. It still astounds me how this isnt at the heart of all businesses. It needs to be the strongest muscle. It can literally (and unnecessarily!!!!) make or break even the best business model. It frustrates me so much!!! A bit like I wish they taught kids how to financially budget at school - maybe if university's offered degrees in 'communication', the world and its economy could be a better place!!!!!!! #communication #leadership https://www.instagram.com/touchellthaddeus/p/BwrqCjlgB7xL51vNMp79UQcXhlRObUDzz5hMLk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1lmfoak1148n

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There is always a reason to smile! Find it. TT x https://www.instagram.com/touchellthaddeus/p/BwdD20SAl-9PLcHviUifMQUJM55cCNSfCsdHr00/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=stgd84x53y5q

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Mrs Sadler you are utterly incredible! Thank you 😘 Tonight I was surprised with lovely gifts, specially chosen for my new journey... My latest news is; Ive made the decision to undertake a certified teacher training course in May to hopefully qualify and officially run, teach and lead my own relaxation, meditation and mindfulness classes/workshops/retreats!!!!!! #managingstress #increasingjoyandhappiness Ive got a taste for it now after testing the water in Lanzarote last month and utilising my prior experience... but more important than anything, I believe it will help my recovery and ensure I continue the aim to live a more balanced life 😊 Proof good can come out of horrendous times!!!!!!! 💖 So so touched by these gifts, thank you again Gem xx https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt7C-PEgVftZho0V1VJsU0dcEk2C3AB43ZZMJE0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1w07wlu15egvu

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Feeling SUPER chilled following another gorgeous Sound Bath conducted by Al Nicholson this morning! #Gong #SingingBowls #Healing #VibrationalTherapy BEST SESSION EVER! I have been using this therapy (amongst others!) to help my recovery; I dread to think where I'd be without it 💖 (at The Koorana Centre) https://www.instagram.com/p/Btqm1V6A-mu7vWCRz2faKqqfoV5Y_WHFTFG6Ss0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cnfd9zoh410m

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I've literally fallen IN LOVE at the airport!!!! 🥰❤😍 #coach #chinesenewyearcollection #handbag (at Terminal 2 - Dublin Airport) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtfrgP0AO-GS4O5fo18BkEcWcUMFLVFQDlM7xc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=wef4ygq4mbk7

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#mondaymorning! Good morning from Malahide folks 😘 Waiting for my taxi and getting blown about! 🚖 Hope you all have a positive day, TT x (at Dublin, Ireland) https://www.instagram.com/p/Btc7tgjgHsHu8iYrGkg9JcQJmLzg_I4kOB_T5I0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1c17lxlc7lpln

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#SaturdaySelfie I will NEVER tire of this view! 💖 #marina #happy #sunny #healing #brightandbreezy! Wishing everyone a super day with people they care about 😘 (at Malahide) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtX-9aBgXd2DoE8APWgQ4D2f8_rTMwkgW5CIXQ0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10hbo7rzws0sp

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#1stFeb #lookingforward #newmonth #enjoyingthejourney Reflecting on what has been a happy and healthier January... 3 separate week long trips ✈, stabilised blood results 💪, delicious meals with friends 🥂, sound therapy 🎵, restorative yoga 🧘‍♀️ and I joined a dating app!!! Which is something I never had any interest in previously... but! It's fun, and has really opened my eyes to some lovely gentlemen out there 💖 February; my wishes for this month please... a buyer for 193, continued healing, lots of laughs and a month FULL of love, laughter and joy... 💋 Hope it's happy and healthy for all, TT x (at Malahide Irleand) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtVWdw_A1Glr0FcY3MUKeQYzUAW7iU4uBLvxok0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1nfcp6qtw0wgy

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DREAM, BELIEVE, ACHIEVE! Still my #tagline two years on 😍 #blondevsbrunette #lovelife #lovelippy 😉 https://www.instagram.com/p/BtOPDy4AH-79duHF-1x28Y8xL5rwKpAGb54xP00/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=4auzia8k1jhl

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Not feeling as bright as my nails today but sometimes you have to create your own sunshine! 🌞... Well actually, @gemsysadler is the creator of these beauties!!! 😂🙌😍 Thank you for my new nails, a delicious dinner last night and for always holding me up when the tears (unexpectedly!! 😱) fall 😘 xxx https://www.instagram.com/p/BtNshajAK2C4P2Rf8uqs_vIRr65LgyF1ZHJ0ps0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1sjb18zvveih1

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Super excited! @clairesapair we are booked to see our buddy! The one and only talented Mr @adriancoxmusic 💖 #music #talent #support Something else to look forward to 😊 February I am coming to get you... 😉🌠💖 https://www.instagram.com/p/BtLzCXJAkQ47pYBUROT9ZrV8vaxuJNVCR2GWb40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1w98m6xu5qeop

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Back to being TT on all social media 🤞 https://www.instagram.com/p/BtKitZqAwD-csg2KB_5zvuBCK-YqxaTCx2uz7U0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17bvj2uiyg2m2

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Fun times with @waxingspecialistlondon on the @lizmckeonbizliz 2019 Retreat! #bossbabes #womeninbusiness #bestyearyet https://www.instagram.com/p/BtKcaMHAaLf32Jw8K3c176dP_DmjacXmsMsVlE0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1f9wvkha5u4v8

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Finally 2019!!!

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🤞