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only you can show me this

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8/3/25

At our clinic, doctors and therapists cooperate to create our patient outcomes. Our treatment program is threefold:

Pluck patients from their beds into our flourescent lit rooms, rubbing their sheaves and sheaves of paperwork between their fingers, broken, slumped over, exhausted. The doctor will sit down behind the computer and read their files, pages and pages of drivel they've skimmed off google. Malingerers, they will think. Crazy woman with a crazy disease that she's made up, seeking drugs. It's a collective hysteria between them all.

Following is our program of physical therapy. Physical therapy is effective in 100% of cases. The walls drip with the black tar of misery. The therapist will laugh off the patient's wheelchair, force them to walk with that exaggerated contrivance of a stuttering gait, wobbling side to side, unmoored. The patient will come in every week, slipping away, vanishing, to be forced onto a recumbent bike, an elliptical, creeping up every week. They must simply build up their tolerance. They've deconditioned themselves.

The patients never return. They've given up on the program. They simply can't commit to a little discipline these days. Feeble women. They just don't want to work. But they're not seen outside, not again; huddled into beds, dependent on others, can't eat, can't speak, can't tolerate the light. They didn't finish the program. They couldn't hack the treatment. It was their own fault. But we don't have to deal with them anymore. And that is a success.

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Happy (belated) Pride Month!!! <3

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Sometimes it's hard realizing how much more support I need than what I currently have. I almost never brush my teeth, rarely shower even with support because of how much stress it puts on my body, can't do any laundry and just wait until someone can help me randomly and hope those clothes last me long enough (or just start wearing dirty clothes). I struggle to eat and acquire food, reposition, move in my chair, maintain a livable space, transition from task to task, transfer to my chair, go to the bathroom enough or prevent half-eaten food from rotting all over my room.

This is the ugly part about being severely disabled. It's why I feel self conscious of my room. It's why I feel self conscious about myself. I am in an endless loop of needing more support and being at all able to go to go to one zoom call with the caregiver or organization. I want to stop breaking stuff because I run it over with my chair, and I want to start being able to eat even when I can't roll over or look at light, and I want to stop having to worry about how every food makes me feel sick. I want to have clothes so I can make colorful combos, and I want to live in a room where I don't think I'm accidentally creating new types of mold spores.

I think about my future a lot, thinking I'll go to grad school, but even though I feel confident in my ability to start grad school, I have no idea if I will be able to finish it, even with all the support in the world. In my head I see two futures post grad school (which are quite a few years into the future). In one, I am a scientist at a company I feel ambivalent toward, but it allows me to try to create medicine like the ones that have brought me this far. In another I spend all day in bed, sometimes able to hold a mug (which I can't even do now) and stare wistfully out the window of a city apartment. The second future is full of progression, progression of symptoms and inability and loss of function. The first feels completely unlikely, not in a self-depricating way, but in a 'I need to find balance between my wants and my needs but I can't quite find one' kind of way. It isn't possible to work the first future I envision with the level of ability I currently possess. Likely, that won't change, and that's optimistic because more likely, things will get worse.

It is hard to picture a future no one you know has had to picture before. It is hard to have two dreams and black-or-white thinking and not knowing if any metaphorical gray between the two would be feesable.

I think I create the first and more idyllic vision because part of me knows, sooner than I hope, the second future will be my life, even if not forever, likely for a long time. It may not happen right away, but it's easier to tell yourself you don't know than to tell yourself nothing is possible anymore.

I'll see what the months bring. As summer winds down, I find new connection and understanding for the world and people around me, but I find myself sinking further into a tomb of uncertainty. I'll piece it all out eventually.

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The 2025 Gender Census is now open!

[ Link to survey ]

The 12th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 30th August 2025.

It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

If you can't wait for survey numbers, you can click here for a public spreadsheet of non-secret info with graphs as it comes in, updated manually a few times per day.

Thank you so much!

[ Link to survey ]

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This is my official plea to tumblr to please watch The Second Best Hospital In The Galaxy. It's steaming on amazon prime

(I really want a season 3)

SO it's an adult animated alien show. Our main characters are Klak (voiced by Keke Palmer) and Sleech (voiced by Stephanie Hsu). They best friends and rule-breaking surgeon. Klak is an anxious lesbian with messy relationships and Sleech keeps everyone at arms length except Klak.

Season one is about an anxiety eating worm and their experiments on it trying to find a cure for anxiety. And in season two a journalist is looking into Sleech's past and it seems she can't hide anymore.

I really like this show and I want to talk about it and see more of it.

It's unserious, so gay and no humans(I find it refreshing). I also think it tackles scientific morality in an interesting not in your face way.

Please PLEASE give it a try.

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......this show is criminally underrated! i'm just going to say it right now.

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I randomly watched the second best hospital in the galaxy and I really liked it

Drew some lazy portraits huh

Try to guess who my favorite is

Yeah-

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i am yours to consume

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Day 5 - Old Women Yuri

@yurijayvikweek

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Hi, my name is Jescah. I am a proud Ugandan lesbian who is raising funds to evacuate LGBT people out of Uganda in response to the recent Anti-Gay Bill that was passed in our country. Here are some consequences of the bill: Employing or leasing housing to an LGBT person in Uganda is punishable by 14 years in prison. Many of us lost our jobs and homes when the bill passed and have been relying on donations to pay for food, water, housing, and transportation. LGBT people who stay in Uganda are at risk of torture, arrest, life in prison, or the death penalty. Your donations will pay for the transportation of LGBT Ugandans to neighboring countries. Once our transportation costs are covered, funding will be used for food, water, medical care for those of us who have been injured, and paying cash bail for any queer Ugandans unfairly arrested.

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introducing….the herald 👑 💄

Yuri Jayvik Week Day 3: Zaun

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Reblogging this again because the line "you probably make at least one decision every day which will meaningfully alter the path you're on if you change it" is the closest thing I can find to meaning on a night like this

you have more degrees of freedom than you think

you can completely reinvent yourself in well under a year with sufficient commitment

you probably make at least one decision every day which will meaningfully alter the path you’re on if you change it

this is terrifying but it’s also maybe the best thing about being alive

as long as you’re breathing, there’s a chance

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I don't remember your whole face to forget you completely. Come one last time, and I will try again.

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I made a different type of werewolf mom comic this time; I hope it helps.

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‘Love is an organic thing. It rots and softens.’

Words by Clementine Von Radics