pirateauthor

[pirateauthor]

I hate the ending myself

But it started with an alright scene

– Disenchanted, MCR

[pirateauthor]

I love Ciel so much🥺💛💛

Manipulative and cheeky? Yes. Heartless? Never.

[pirateauthor]

Love this drama, I've been following it since before release/debut 🫣🫣🫣

[pirateauthor]

It's my first time shipping a rare pairing and i very much dislike it, because it's also my first time finding almost no reading material of those two. There's just 15 fanfictions of Viktor/Marcus on Ao3 and i'm very sad for that, and thinking of putting aside all my main wips just to write one or more fics of my own of this ship🫠🫠🫠🫡🫡🫡

[pirateauthor]

Crackpot Theory: Five and Viktor are the Beginning and End to Everything

A friend told me months ago to write an essay after hearing my crackpot theory about this show that is my Joker, so here I am, doing just what I was told. (Yes, I know this won't come true. That's why it's a crackpot theory. I'm only writing this for fun and to get this idea out of my head before S4 drops tomorrow. Anyway!)

Disclaimer: I will be using Vanya and she/her pronouns to refer to the comics character, and to the show character in S1 and S2, and Viktor and he/him pronouns for S3. I am doing this for the sake of more easily understanding which seasons in the show I am referring to when I mention my points.

Anyway, without further ado...

I am putting too much faith in the show's writing here and am convinced that the show is hinting that Five and Vanya/Viktor are the key to everything.

Here is why:

In S1, we see quite clearly that Five meant something to Vanya. She tells Pogo in the first episode that "You know what's stupid? I used to leave the lights on for him. ... Every night I'd leave a little snack and make sure the lights were on." Following that, we also see Five return, looking exactly the way he did when he left, and one of the first things he does is make himself a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich, which is the very snack that Vanya would continually make for him when he was gone.

Later on in the episode, we see him get attacked by the Temps Commission, and after said attack, the place he goes to for safety is—Vanya’s apartment. There, we get to see her patching him up, get to see them talk and in turn have a better understanding of their particular dynamic. Vanya asks him why he’s at her apartment. He says, “I’ve decided you’re the only one I can trust.” She asks him why he’s opening up to her specifically, and at first, he says, “Because you’re ordinary.” Of course, those words sting with her, and it shows on her face. So he amends his statement shortly thereafter, with a “Because you’ll listen.” The show quickly establishes that Vanya found Five important in her life, and in turn, affirms that he finds her meaningful as well.

Unfortunately, as the first season continues, we don’t get Five and Vanya interacting together as much, if at all. The second episode features Vanya managing to briefly stop Five in his tracks after he declares she’s too young and he made a mistake in trusting her, saying she “hasn’t seen him in a long time” and that she “doesn’t want to lose [him] again.” But then he leaves her apartment, and he makes little to no effort to contact her for the rest of the first season until it becomes apparent that she is far more important to the end of the world than he initially believed.

However, we do see more of their intriguing bond in the moments we’re shown of their shared past and younger years, with how Vanya shaking her head gave him genuine pause before Five’s impulsive decision to leave and perform spatial jumps in defiance of Hargreeves. Additionally, her name was the first Five called after landing in the apocalypse, and as we are made aware in the first episode, he found her book and read it while away. In said book, she writes that he "was [her] sole confidante." He even writes in the book, and continues to do so upon returning to 2019.

(A little note on something I found fascinating that may be something, or may be nothing: when drunk, Five tells Diego that he’s “the Four frickin’ Horsemen.” Traditionally, the Four Horsemen signify the bringing of the Apocalypse to the world, hence the tale of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Now, in the show, if Five is the Four Horsemen, and Vanya is the Apocalypse... does that not mean they’re inextricably connected?

Again, this could mean something, or it could be me seeing things where things were not meant to be seen.)

I will also note that their bond in the show does not, in fact, come from the comics. The comics feature a Vanya who is emotionally linked to Diego, and the Five we see in the comics is far colder than the one in the show. He even tells Vanya outright at the end of the Apocalypse Suite arc that he “never liked [her].” So this shift in relationship dynamics does exist purely in the show, which I personally find works in its favour due to its character-driven nature.

Anyway, let us move onto S2 and how it too shows their bond, and we start off with Five insisting that Elliot search for sound waves as he tries to prevent a second apocalypse via the Cold War, given Vanya’s sound manipulation power. Does that explicitly show their bond at all? Granted, no, but what happens later on when Five manages to find Vanya does—he finds her in a cornfield and gives her a rather soft smile as he introduces himself as her brother. He then proceeds to inform her (over a cup of coffee) of what happened in S1, but notably pauses and swallows when she asks what caused the apocalypse. He then states, “Asteroid impact,” and omits her role entirely, because he cares enough to not want to hurt her, which exists in contrast to how he acts around every other member of their so-called family, i.e. constantly insulting them and threatening to harm them.

This is also seen in how Five firmly insists they "need to stick together," and how he would, most likely, blink into the car when Vanya plans to drive away from him if it were anyone else, but instead takes a breath and knocks on the window to get her attention. It may be because she’s a bomb that he doesn’t want to set off, but given his behaviour around her even in S1 before she’s revealed to have powers, we get to know that he is and always has been patient with her, and impatient with everyone else. He even mumbles to himself later on about how "she'll come around. I know she will."

Also noteworthy is how his old body self learns from Luther that Vanya is the reason for the apocalypse, and in response to this news, all he does is shrug and say, “Fair enough.” It is remarkable how the very thing that he obsessed over for decades upon decades in the apocalypse is set aside with a simple acknowledgement of its cause being his closest adopted sibling.

(Another thing that I find most intriguing is how in the comics, Five’s calculations to return to his timeline and escape the apocalypse are not, in fact, bungled when he finally attempts to jump again. He realises through Dolores that he “forgot to subtract the two from the one” and only fails in his goal when the Temps Aeternalis pulls him out of the time stream against his will. In contrast, the show has Five arguing with his old body self, and the apparent solution to his calculations is a misplaced decimal point—“It’s 0.57, not 5.7!” which may be me reading into it too much, again, but if not, then an argument can be made that Five and Vanya (Number Seven) are meant to work together and stay together, instead of being placed apart due to circumstances beyond their control.)

Moving onto S3, there is the same issue as present in S1 wherein Five and Viktor rarely get to talk to one another. The only instances of their relationship coming into play are when Five runs back to ensure Vanya/Viktor is okay when they’re being attacked by the Sparrows, the easy acceptance of Viktor changing his name and beginning to transition, and of course, the talk they have near the end of the season. The talk in which Five is caring and vulnerable enough in his lecturing about powerful people and ants to tell Viktor, “If you ever need anything, I’m always here for you. But lie to us again... Viktor, I’ll kill you myself.”

There is, too, the fact that they share a long look at the end of the season before walking off in different directions, yet again separated instead of going off together.

The trailer for S4 revealed that this time, Ben is the cause of the end of the world, and it seems the show is gearing up to explore the Jennifer Incident and Ben’s death in detail (which, alongside the Sparrow Academy, the comics have yet to touch upon fully). While I am aware this show emphasizes that this so-called family is stronger together than apart, and I don’t mean to undermine their marketing with this essay, I do find this message does not yet work unless every member of the Academy is willing to work together and stay connected. Obviously, this includes Five and Viktor especially, seeing as Five set out to save the world from the apocalypse at the beginning of the show, and Viktor was the cause then and continues to cause problems for everyone.

In conclusion, I (most likely falsely) believe that the show is pointing at a resolution for its “oh no the world is ending” plot that torments each season via the full reconciliation of Five and Vanya/Viktor’s bond and that ultimately, these two teaming up and properly communicating with each other will be the way to get to a timeline where the world doesn’t end for once and happy lives can be had for all.

If you’ve read all of this, I thank you for sitting through it. If you disagree with it, that's totally fair, and I welcome you to keep scrolling and ignore this post entirely.

[pirateauthor]

When cannon makes you cry, come to fannon that will heal you and give you many endings better than what we got on the original. That's why fanfiction exists, write your own version of the TUA universe and forget the one that hurt you

you're laughing. The umbrella academy's final season destroyed every character's personal growth and semi-healed traumas, left huge plot-holes, completely abandoned some of it's most beloved side characters that were crucial in previous seasons and you're laugh-oh. You're crying. My bad. Go ahead. Let it out. Understandable.

[pirateauthor]

I'm crying.... This, this is perfection... Woah, i'm feeling so many things too Connor... Oh h3ll, just take a moment and appreciate, this is the definition of perfection. Let me look at it while i listen to Rheya by Wild Nothing (slash my favorite song of all times and genres)

.....hm, i love this. It's so satisfying to look at for long, long minutes

A tiny fragment of life

[pirateauthor]

This is me, as an artist and as a writer🥲

this is about procrastinating. or executive dysfunction. i think

[pirateauthor]

I really need to take a time to rewatch Kuroshitsuji, but this time only with captions instead of the dubbed version🫣🫣🫣

Dying😂

[pirateauthor]

I really don't understand why people keep spreading things like this (not the video, but the hateful comment). You don't like the ship? Okay, just don't consume content with them and that is it. No need to go spreading your negativity dislike on another's positivity likes. I don't like the new ship of Five/Lila on the TUA fandom as much as i don't quite like Sam/Castiel ship on the SPN fandom, (i even tried reading fanfictions of them to see if i could bring myself to like but that didn't work and that's ok, i just quit reading without leaving any comment or kudos, without the author that loves those ships knew i was there and didn't liked it), me not liking those ships doesn't mean i have to go and comment bad things about it, i keep my negativity dislikes to myself, instead of possibly ruining someone's good day with a shitty comment on their possibly comfort ships/characters/fandoms and so on. Be mindful and be kind, there's already too much negativity being spread daily in the world, keep your ugliness to yourself and share only the good things. Please, let's be kind and emphatic 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🥺🥺

compilation of sam and dean getting called out for their incest

[pirateauthor]

I dreamed that SooKai kissed each other as part of a choreography and i blame that all on irl Kai for almost eating Soobin's lips alongside that pepero.....

Disclaiming: this tiktok edit is not mine, the owner username is in the video

[pirateauthor]

Haven't watched s4 and i won't, no matter what, after reading this. I prefer to keep myself away from that... I know the resume of what happens from posts and fanfictions i read and a tiktok i watched were the marigold where shown, beyond that i know no details or whatever. I'll keep being a fan, and probably rewatch the the first three seasons, but as in many other fandoms i am in, i'll stick to the fanfictions mostly (fannon proved to be better cannon many times already)

Im watching the four season of TUA with my dad and i do not like it. I know whats gonna happened already and its just make me frustrated. Honestly the whole five and lila thing? i dont like it.

Im gonna talk about fiktor in here cuz yea.

My problem was that, for me, all this drama between Five, Lila and Diego doesn't make sense. But I'm also really sad because, does Five simply not care about his family anymore? In that scene where Viktor is lying on the floor and Five simply disappears? I'm sad for Fiktor, because even though I ship them, I just liked their relationship in general, romantic or not. I feel like they just erased their past? And that upsets me. I'm not saying now that they should end up together, but maybe a close relationship? I don't know. I'm just sad, I think it would make more sense if Five and Viktor were trapped for 7 years in the Apocalypse, they didn't even need to fall in love but I don't know, get closer again. There were so many choices this season that I didn't like. But spoiler alert, I think it made a lot of sense for everyone to die in the end. I don't know if it was a good ending, but I can understand it.

Fiktor kept drifting further and further away and I can't understand why they did this, erasing their entire relationship. At the end of season four, Five simply goes to the opposite side of Viktor and I'm sad because they were the only ones who thought they had to stick together, so why didn't they help each other? Why did they just think it was better to go for separate ways?

Five past years alone and now that they have this chance he just? Stays alway from family again? Away from viktor again? Im just-

I get it that all of them tried to live their lifes but again i just

Anyway

Im not gonna talk about lila/Diego cuz i love them and they deserved better.

[pirateauthor]

Fiktor needs closure💛

Dire esto solo una vez y no me importa si me critican: Los escritores de the umbrella academy le deberian haber dado un cierre a la relacion de fiveya/fiktor. No nos deberian haber dado tanto material y desarrollar su historia de la manera en que lo hicieron como para dejarlo en la misma nada en las temporadas siguientes.

____________________________________

I'll say this only once and I don't care if you criticize me: The writers of the umbrella academy should have given closure to the Fiveya/Fiktor relationship. They shouldn't have given us so much material and developed their story the way they did to leave it in the same nothingness in the following seasons.

[pirateauthor]

diego dating an insecure chubby male?

Diego would absolutely adore you oh my gosh

His favorite thing to do is wrap his arms around your waist from behind and tuck his head in your neck, loving how you feel in his arms

Whenever he sees you pulling at your shirt uncomfortably or catches you over analyzing yourself in the mirror he just kisses the worry right off your face

“You are so handsome, my love. So, so good - all mine.”

He is borderline obsessed with your thighs ok. He’s always touching them, squeezing them…his hand never leaves your thigh during outings!! He reminds you every day how much he loves them as if you even needed a verbal reminder

If you wanted to start/continue working out, Diego makes sure you’re doing it for you and not because you feel like you have to!!!

He makes sure you’ve eaten enough and drank enough water. Sometimes you forget and he knows your tendency to restrict if you’re having a particularly bad day

At night, Diego loves how soft you are. You are the perfect cuddle buddy, whether your head is against his chest or vice versa! He cannot get enough of you. He has the hardest time sleeping when you’re not there by his side

[pirateauthor]

I believe in Diego Hargreeves' big pecs supremacy🙇‍♂️

Diego’s bf grabbing his big pecs. “Maybe we need to get you a bra?”

Diego simply stares at his boyfriend. He doesn't say anything as M/n pushes his face right into his chest. Though he does giggle was M/n begins speaking into his chest, sounding all muffled.

[pirateauthor]

thinking about the way ciel curled up on his parent's bed after the manor was rebuilt and how he's slept there ever since

[pirateauthor]

We all start with a shitty first draft