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[piratesangel]

Half Goblin, half Hobbit.

Goblit.

[piratesangel]

Matias and Fiadh are two infamous Pillagers who ended up birthing a daughter who is the polar opposite, who then gave them a grandson who did not go down their path either.

They watch Eimear and Archie collect strawberries from their extensive garden. Their daughter bonding with her son was wholesome, but the illagers wished they were as eager to take up archery or practice the takedown of a Hero.

"Where did we go wrong?" Laments Matias as he smells vegetables and fish grilling. "They foil our plans at every opportunity too! I KNOW it's them...somehow they avoid being truly discovered."

Fiadh pats his arm and kisses his cheek.

"We can hunt on our weekend trip, dear."

Fast forward to their much anticipated camping excursion and Eimear and Archie pitch a tent directly across a creek from them.

"I thought you two were going to be fishing at the coast." Matias grumbles.

"Too stormy. Plus, who would keep you out of trouble?" Eimear grins smugly. Archie makes the 'I'm watching you' gesture.

Matias and Fiadh cannot seem to shake them no matter how hard they try and it ends up being three days of fishing and foraging instead of chowing down on humans.

[piratesangel]

Me walking in the rain. Prickly wet beast that managed to get the attention of a weird guy who started asking me if I was married and that I was beautiful. He was a broken record with the marriage thing so I told him I was seeing someone. Pester me not with ceaseless questions about my entire life and where I work.

[piratesangel]

Headcannons for: Star

So this is some personal headcannons and backstory ideas that I have for Star. There are some mentions of parental abuse, underage drinking, sex and drug use, so you have been warned. Otherwise, enjoy!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Her given name is actually Rachel Studebaker

She was the end result of a teen pregnancy

She’s originally from Omaha, Nebraska

She only writes in cursive. Her script/shorthand is atrocious

In a crusade for some parental approval, she tried to be a Valley Girl

Side pony, neon, cheerleading try-outs, the whole nine yards

It ended her freshman year after the crushing criticism

Then she discovered Souxie and The Banshies with her best friend

Her best friend was punk called Rose

Souxie was followed by solo Stevie Nick

That’s when she entered her goth/hippie era and stayed there

Kim Wyld, Stevie Nicks, Souxie and Bon Jovi where often heard out of her pink radio

Her favorite Christmas presents where that pink radio and a sewing machine of her own

She made most of her own outfits and bags

She made most of Roses best pieces in her closet

She was also the only one of the lost boys (pre-Micheal) to go to prom

It was a junior prom

She even made her own dress

Her bedroom was was very pink

It’s one of her favorite colors

She loves purple, pink, blue, gold and brown

Pink wall paper with little blue flowers, matching pink/purple bedsheets and comforter

She had a secret door in her closet where she hid her diary, a bottle of vodka, and her weed

When she entered her hippy era, she also entered her party era

Vodka is her liquor of choice

Mainly because you can mix it with anything

She would sneak out often to drink, party and smoke weed with her friends

Her first boyfriend back home looked just like Michael

His name: David Harrison

They had their first time in the movie theater he worked at

Right behind a screen, after close, with The Blue Lagoon playing over the screen

He proceeded to tell all his friends about it

Including friends of her parents

Her parents. Where. LIVID.

Mainly, her mom

Her mom was definitely the aggressor at home, and her dad always enabled and participated in whatever his wife wanted

So when word got back to them about the movie theater incident….

It wasn’t pretty

She half run off, was half kicked out

They would kick her out for a few days then bring her home to “make sure she learned her lesson”

It was a common thing, but this time, Star had enough

When they kicked her out again, she went in when they went to work the next day

Successfully packs all she wanted to take with her

It did break her heart to leave behind her friends, radio and sewing machine

But she did save her tapes

She is also a good at hiding (thanks to mom and dad)

Before heading out of town, she wrote notes promising Rose she’d write when she was safe and left David a break up note

As she’s leaving notes, she’s hiding in bushes, ally ways and under cars from her dad

He figured out she was in the house and was looking for her

But our girl is cunning Slytherin to boot

She gets away in a delivery truck

She hitchhiked her way across the Midwest to the northwest, then down to California

The rest is history. 😉

Some Star bedroom inspiration:

And her prom dress

This but a more shimmery pink

[piratesangel]

Matias in the cone of shame. He got bitey with the doctor

[piratesangel]

bungeoppang cat and jindo choco taco :)))

[piratesangel]

25 minutes later...

[piratesangel]

[piratesangel]

A Villager who lives with an Illager:

"DAMIAN! There's a dead human in our house!"

"Woah hey, how did he get here?"

"Damian, what did you do??"

"Me? I didn't do this!"

"Explain what happened, Damian. Why did you kill this person Damian??"

"I do not kill people. That is my least favorite thing to do."

"Tell me what happened before I got home."

"OK, well I was reading a book in the living room and this guy walked in....so I went up to him and I axed 37 times in the chest."

"DAMIAN THAT KILLS PEOPLE!!!"

[piratesangel]

If Minecraft Dungeons had ended with the Heroes killing Archie I would have thrown my computer and never gotten into Minecraft. If Mojang had never bothered to flesh out Illagers like Archie, the games would be completely dead to me.

If I come across any AUs where Archie is killed I also nope the fuck out and don't look back.

[piratesangel]

Me: *Starts feeling like I'm going to pass out while on the freeway, pulls off and stops the car for a while, feels good enough to call my employer and let them know I won't be in today and relays what happened*

Employer: "This is 30 minutes before your shift starts. So are you saying you won't be in at all or will do a partial?"

Me: *Extraordinarily close to quitting and telling this guy to go fuck himself but simultaneously needing this job because money* "I will keep you updated."

Being an American worker is being expected to show up for your shift with a smile even if an asteroid has impacted the planet and everything is burning up.

[piratesangel]

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE Let’s say it’s 6.15pm and you’re going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself..!! NOW HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE… Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can perhaps buy precious time to get themselves to a phone and dial 911. Rather than sharing another joke please contribute by broadcasting this which can save a person’s life! Be prepared and become part of the solution. Get your free next-of-kin notification card today. Click here: https://www.InCaseOfEmergencyCard.com/

[piratesangel]

a collection of motivational insights regarding content creation and creative hobbies

and of course the classic

[piratesangel]

Reblog if you’re over 20 and still read/write fan fiction.

I’m curious!

[piratesangel]

Minecraft mod that has given me the most trouble isn't one that adds more Illager variants or boss fights. Nor is it one that gives realistic aspects to minecraft like dying of hypothermia or dehydration. The Graveyard? For this survival horror fan it's more fun and interesting than difficult.

But the one that introduces wild boars is the one that fucks me up. Boars have killed me more times than any other mob.

You're walking along in a peaceful meadow with tall grass then you hear charging hooves and the snorts of the most irritating and relentless fucker to ever exist in the game.

[piratesangel]

He needs a booster seat