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[plotweasels]

This Crossover is About the Ears

One two many pictures of various svsss character with cat or dog ears made me think of an SVSSS/Loveless AU. How I'd even combine cultivation with Yun Koga's Fighter Unit/Sacrifice pairings I don't know. Also, I don't know who would be the Fighter Unit and who'd be the Sacrifice in any of the particular pairings.

However, one of the worldbuilding details/plot points of Loveless is that humans in the Loveless setting are born with cat ears and cat tails. They lose them when they lose their virginity. Loveless is kind of a horrifying cross between a soulmate au (where sacrifice/fighter unit pairs are marked by the same word that supposedly defines them) and one of those dueling/fighting mangas. I think instead of doing a full crossover, I'd lift the animal features from Loveless and apply them to SVSSS. (And maybe also the names.)

This could be fun thematically. I have no plot, and no real interest in writing anything for this.

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This Crossover...Doesn't Even Work

However, I am struck by the idea of a Crossover between Books of the Raksura and MDZS. First, a fusion (the kind of crossover I write the most frequently) would be just about impossible. While I can easily see Yu Ziyuan as a Raksuran queen, I do not actually like her that much. (And her classism would not actually fit the queen mindset.) Also, while Jiang Fengmian does fit into the personality more or less of a First Consort, the xianxia Fantasy Ancient China power dynamics would not combine well with that of a Raksura colony. (Also there's the naming conventions.)

On the other hand, if the Jiangs were a Raksura colony, I would want to make Wei Wuxian an Arbora Mentor who ended up becoming a warrior. (Though that wouldn't really fit the necromancy.) So if I did a fusion, the Jiangs would have to be some variety of groundling or possibly waterling/groundling related to waterling. (Note: not humans. There are no humans in the Books of the Raksura setting, just various species of groundling, skyling, waterling and so on.)

So lets say that the sects in the Cultivation World are all related species of groundling. And these species are related to the forerunners. Let's also say that Cangse Sanren is either a) an orphaned raksura queen b) an equally orphaned raksura/fell hybrid or c) an orphaned fell raised by a mysterious Raksura Queen who lost her Colony. (The cultivators do not know that Baoshan Sanren is a Raksura. If they see her, she's always in Arbora form. They just think of her as a powerful immortal.) Cangse Sanren marries Wei Changze and they have Wei Ying, who has an interesting mix of abilities.

This would probably be more or less a "Wei Ying is not raised by the Jiangs" AU where Wei Ying is more or less self taught, and has a "secret weapon" in the form of a really big scary winged form. Combining the cultivation system with the Books of the Raksura magic system would be a challenge, as would trying to tack on the Sunshot Campaign, and the geography of the Three Worlds. (Floating Islands, man. Floating. Islands.)

However, I can also see an "insert characters from fandom a into fandom b" type of crossover. This can happen by way of my favorite plot weasel of "Wei Wuxian attempts to create some kind of transportation talisman to escape with the Wen Remnants But Something goes Very Wrong," and everyone ends up in a distant part of the Three Worlds. Or near enough the Reaches that Raksura investigate. By preference I'd drop them in the middle of a ruined city, where they can run into all kinds of weird shit, in addition to suddenly having wingy people show up. (I originally thought Raksura, but maybe members of Consolation's Flight? And then Raksura?) I think I would spend a great deal of time worrying about the Instant Genetic Bottleneck however, so maybe not that? (Or have Wei Wuxian accidentally bring most of Yiling with him, as well as any Wen who were still in hiding, and any number of cultivators who were in the town trying to find WWX.)

This would be fun as cultivation is so much different than the kind of magic system(s) that are present in the Raksura setting. Another problem: we don't really have a clear idea of fauna, as the Raksura tend not to have names for various animal species, instead dividing them up by what they eat. It will be interesting to see how Wei Wuxian and friends end up dealing with various other sentients, and how they react to these weird groundlings that just turned up...

[plotweasels]

We are not just art for Michelangelo to carve He can't rewrite the aggro of my furied heart

[plotweasels]

This Child is Spicy--Does He Ever Unspice?

So, this SVSSS AU is based on a combination of this picture and comments from people on discord. (Basically, this picture inspired a age-reversal plot weasel.) I think this dynamic has some potential, either as a bingjiu fic or just "Luo Binghe is basically a copy of Tianlang-jun" Not Very Accidental Child Acquisition.

To set this up, Su Xiyan was actually part of the previous generation of cultivators. Still ended up with Tianlang-jun, still betrayed by the Palace Master, but in this case Tianlang-jun found out about the set up for one reason or another. Palace Master's plot collapsed because of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect figuring out it WAS a plot. Su Xiyan and Tianlang-jun go off to be married.

This makes Su Xiyan and Demon Emperor very partial to CQM, which is why Baby Binghe ends up at Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. (Being half human, and pretty balanced he needs to learn human style cultivation anyway for a base before working on the demon side of his cultivation. Su Xiyan doesn't want to pass on anything of Huan Hua because she's extremely pissed at Huan Hua.) Luo Binghe is either selected for one of the Peaks or does whatever is the xianxia equivalent of auditing classes.

Two possible plotlines come to mind.

--Luo Binghe ends up becoming a Peak Lord! This is possibly hilarious and I kind of like this idea. In this case, Luo Binghe figure out why his Shixiong's favorite inner disciple/head disciple just about killed himself trying to take a sword when he wasn't ready. (Or, actually keeps him from doing it.)

Luo Binghe pries the story out of the kid and decides to go get this Shen Jiu kid. So he goes off, locates the Qius and absconds with a frightened, rage-filled fourteen year old Shen Jiu. Shen Jiu ends up as a guest of sorts on Cang Qiong until he can go through the diggydiggy hole test. Luo Binghe ends up picking him for his Peak. Stuff Happens.

--The other possible plotline is Luo Binghe becomes a wandering cultivator affiliated with Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. He goes on various missions for CQM and also for his father. (Sometimes those missions are pretty much shopping trips for books) A lot of what he does is the equivalent of bounty hunting as well as hunting ghosts/monsters/demons/demonic animals.

Luo Binghe's current bounty is Wu Yanzi! He is able to track Wu Yanzi down to the Qius, where he is up to some kind of scam. He is too late to stop the scam, but he is able to kill Wu Yanzi. Luo Binghe is now stuck with a hysterical young mistress and a slave having a goddamn qi-deviation. Luo Binghe dumps the young mistress with the local cultivation sect, and keeps the kid, who is only barely being kept from wrecking his spiritual veins due to qi deviation.

Shen Jiu wakes up, confused, angry and terrified. He does not calm down. He has no chill. Luo Binghe doesn't know if this is funny or incredibly sad. He decides the kid needs help, and decides to cart him off to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect to recuperate. And then Stuff Happens.

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Original Luo Binghe: Gotta Catch Them All

So the basic concept here is that Bingge after his adventure with meeting Shen Yuan decides to start traveling through various alternate timelines, trying to find the Shen Qingqiu who likes him back. He is basically kidnapping Shen Jiu from various timelines and ends up with a harem of very angry Shen Jius. (Should the collective noun for a group of Shen Jius be a "pissy?")

So far, he has only found Shen Jiu, not Shen Yuan. He does not yet know that it's Shen Yuan who likes him. Or that Shen Yuan even exists. He cannot exactly go back and ask the Other Version of him about it.

He has been going up and down various timelines under the theory that if he can just interject himself at the right point in time, that he will be able to steal a Shen Jiu who will fall in love with him.

(Original Mobei-jun is not comfortable with the bridestealing, even if it's Traditional.)

The Wives are kinda cranky about this new hobby of Binghe's and many of them are kind of pissy about the slowly growing Shen Qingqiu harem. (The "other harem" has to be kept warded from the wife-harem because of the homicidal tendencies of Liu Mingyan and Qiu Haitang and the Little Palace Mistress.)

All of the Shen Jius hate each other. So. Very. Much. They snipe and they argue and they threaten each other. They hate each other so much they usually can't even present a united front to Bingge.

I am not sure whether it would be better or worse for Bingge's Shen Qingiu to still be alive.

If alive he's technically a part of the harem, but also very much not, and is viewed as something of a threat of what might happen to them, even though Bingge is actually not INTENDING it to be a threat.

There is a Shen Jiu who was at the point where Yue Qingyuan brought him to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. (And had been there about a year.)

There is a Shen Jiu who was stolen at the point where he was a still a disciple of Wu Yanzi.

There is a Shen Jiu who had recently ascended as the Peak Lord of Qing Jing.

There is a Shen Jiu from the point where Luo Binghe first came to Cang Qiong mountain sect.

There is a Shen Jiu from the point where Liu Qingge qi deviates, and also a Liu Qingge who is slightly horrified that his baby sis married a demon emperor and helped bring about the destruction of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. (Luo Bingge does not want to be selfish and also wants to placate Liu Mingyan.) At this point Luo Binghe starts to get the feeling that some of the information he got was bad or inaccurate.

There is a Shen Jiu from the point where Luo Binghe gets thrown into the Abyss.

This may or may not also mean that there are two younger versions of Luo Binghe.

There is a slight panic among the Shen Qingqius when Bingge turns up with a Xiao Jiu. And a Qiu Jianluo. Who now has stumps in place of hands. Qiu Haitang has a qi deviation after an argument about the condition he found Xiao Jiu in.

At least three or more of the Shen Qingqius engage in what they consider to be survival sex work with Luo Binghe. None of these people including Bingge are actually all that great at conceptualizing consent because of trauma and Bingge being a stallion novel protagonist who is also full of trauma and brainworms.

Basic theme: Negotiating Polyamory When You Are Six Kinds of Mentally and Emotionally Compromised by Trauma and/or an Evil Sword And Have Almost No Concept of Healthy Relationships Because of Same.

[plotweasels]

no one ever talks about the part of adhd where everyone in your class has got their group of friends and you’re just there, mindlessly tagging along with anyone who is willing to put up with you for a few minutes. either you’re too loud or too quiet. if you’re lucky, it won’t affect you much. you’re a loner, so what? but then the moments come around where you find yourself yearning to be like the others. you’re not depressed, why would you be? you’re a child who just happens to be a little different. sure, you’re usually the last choice when it comes to groups and you’re rarely, if ever, invited to birthday parties but… it’s alright. everything is fine. or is it?

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This Crossover is Haunting the Spaceways

This song is a classic science fiction filk song.

This song is narrated by someone who has had direct contact with the Ghost Ship, Dawson's Christian. The story is that Jamie Dawson, the captain of the Christian made a deal with an Unknown Power in order to defeat (though not necessarily survive) an enemy that had his ship cornered. The narrator of the song gives us a list of various space folklore characters and tells us about their encounter with the Christian. (The narrator's ship is attacked by pirates but is rescued by a mysterious ship that turns out to be the ghost ship.)

Anyway! My thought is that somehow, Jamie Dawson made a deal with Hua Cheng to win the battle with the ships that cornered him. Of course, the deal resulted in him now essentially working for Hua Cheng and/or Xie Lian, as evidenced by the entire "randomly rescues unarmed vessels from pirates."

This is something that I would maybe like to somehow write? Though I don't have a clear idea how. How would Jamie know about His Highness or Hua Cheng? Jamie Dawson is a very Scottish name! (Obviously, he could be multi-ethnic even with a Scottish name, but I've already drawn flack about Chinese People With White Names, so.)

Anyway, say it's a desperate move. He prays (or maybe another character does?) and is really freaking surprised to get an answer in the form of Hua Cheng showing up. Hua Cheng would like to know what's going on, and Jamie fills him in on the situation. They reach some kind of agreement and Jamie and his crew are able to completely destroy the ships attacking them.

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no sburb beta earth au where dave "microcelebrity" strider suddenly gains a big following on the internet after a spike of people discover his sbahj comics online when a screenshot of one goes particularly viral and turns into a [top text/bottom text] meme and some hipsters are like "woah,, this is actually some really avant garde stuff". when he's churning these out sitting in the bathroom stall at school once a day during lunch period. so then he gets REALLY popular and then inevitably gets cancelled at some point when a communications/poli sci major reads one of his comics and then types up a whole memo board explaining how sbahj is actually neo-conservative propaganda written as part of a conspiracy to undermine the 2008 obama presidency. and there's a whole rage war since the memo board was written really convincingly with red arrows and circles drawn around sweet bro's head and everything and dave hasn't made any public statements about it and also no one actually understands what sbahj is about. so threads are being written up about this and people are like emailing death threats to each other over it and someone even tries to doxx him and then manages to find out he lives in texas and some people start actually taking the whole thing seriously because He's From Texas (never mind the fact it's houston). meanwhile dave just started his midterms and he has to focus because he actually cares about school and his future and so he takes a short "hiatus" which people freak out even more over because they take it as him backing away due to the allegations online. and then after winter break dave comes back and opens up a q&a for his 169th "bro wee ar doign it wee ar making it hapen" special and at some point after a barrage of questions in his inbox (q: was "swety bro and hela jeff crassh on the freway" inspired by a real car accident you were in? a: i don't own a car / q: what job do you have in real life? a: unemployed but i pick up roadkill off the street sometimes / q: who did you vote for in the 2008 primaries a: i didn't) someone finally has the bright idea to ask "hey how old are you" and he replies "i'm 13" and all hell breaks loose.

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This Crossover Has Mercenaries

Gideon the Ninth (and sequels)/The Black Company by Glen Cook

All you need to know about Black Company: mercs working for evil mages suddenly find themselves in trouble with their employer because of finding smol chosen one the really dont want to hand over: also main character gets caught essentially writing real people fic about evil sorceress. Lucky for him she thinks it's cute.

If we upgrade black company tech we get space battles. If we downgrade gideonverse tech we have yet another complicated civilization for the BC to run roughshod over.

I like the downgrade idea personally. Gideon successfully escapes the Ninth House and joins the BC. Things Happen. Specifically Harrowhark tearing after her and running smack into The Lady happens. Depending, this is the best thing or worst thing ever. Harrowhark wants Gideon back, Gideon doesnt want to go, Croaker doesn't want to deal with these melodramatic brats, The Lady thinks Harrowhark/Gideon is an adorable ship.

[plotweasels]

The Crossover Where I'm Not In One of Them

Okay, Original Shen Qingqiu gets yeeted into the Harry Potter Universe, replacing Harry Potter. He is not happy to be stuck acting out the life of a protagonist character in a work of literature he isn't even familiar with. (Why not Journey to the West? Answer: The Host did not mention that work, Host!)

So yeah, Shen Yuan accidentally sentenced Shen Qinghua to being the protagonist of a series of children's novels Shen Jiu has no familiarity with because he comes from Fantasy Ancient China. If only Shen Yuan had been familiar with any other work, or mentioned any other (ancient) work. But! Shen Jiu's System provides him with a new book from the series every time he clears the list of challenges from each of the books.

Meanwhile Shen Jiu has so much trauma. And is three quarters convinced that this is some kind of extremely bizarre dream demon thing Luo Binghe is putting him through. And he deeply resents everything about the Dursleys. (No he doesn't care if he's the protagonist instead of a scum villain.)

The Rules:

1. The Character gets yeeted into another world, starting out at the same station that was their origin point.

2. The New Character is the protagonist rather than the antagonist of the new work.

3. The new work is at the (unintentional) discretion of the Host.

Mission: Complete all plot arcs of the work successfully. Become the protagonist of your own story and achieve emotional stability.

(Problem: I am not really familiar with HP, just the first book, because I read it for a book club years ago. I am more familiar with fan works! Many of which I have enjoyed. I could probably not write this. Or I could but so much fanon.)

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"We Have the Chosen One," "No, WE Have the Chosen One!"

I have previously wrote this (idea) as a royaltystuck AU for Homestuck. As one does. The basic concept is that you have the usual Evil Empire, and a small coalition of rebel countries. And as is often the case when you have an evil empire and a small coalition of rebel countires, you also have a prophecy involving a Chosen One who eventually defeats the Evil Empire and is all heroic.

The SCRC has what they think is the Chosen One and the Chosen One's Prophesized Companions! They think they are finally going to defeat the Evil Empire so they go on the immediate offensive and go to war. And their Chosen One and Companions are a) defeated b) tossed into prison. This is followed by a nasty letter, the gist of which is, "Um, Maybe don't invade us with a fake Chosen One? Or anyone else for that matter, because we're still bigger than you?"

For you see, the Formerly Evil Empire has been under the control of their own Chosen One and Companion Chosen Ones, who also seemingly fits the prophecy, for at least a few years now! (And these other Chosen kind of fit better because they are actually from the Evil Empire after all.) The SCRC was mostly unaware of the goings on of the coup/revolution due to an extremely closed border and certainly didn't know anyone potentially fulfilling the prophecy was involved.

What I'd be going for is a comedy of errors as the opposing "Chosen" argue and flail at each other. Also some fun interactions as the SCRC attempt to get their Chosen Ones back. Also maybe some romance? I don't know. At least something funny and ridiculous.

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I really do like this idea. Witch World is pretty much the classic Western sf/f portal fantasy setting. If I could somehow also work with Simon Tregarth's kids, and fecking do something that's a little more interesting than what Andre Norton went with for them, it would be stellar. (Don't get me wrong, I *liked* Three Against the Witch World but I would have liked more detail.) I would however need to get/read the series again.

The Crossover that Came to Mind Because Falconers (WitchWorld)

"Falconers" in the Andre Norton Witch World novels are an ethnicity/nation that are extremely gender segregated, to the point where women and men live in separate communities. (The women communities are periodically invaded/contacted by men communities for procreation purposes, and so the men can come pick up their sons...and that's about it.) IIRC Falconers are Like That because of generational trauma due to a malevolent female witch.

Anyway, Shen Jiu ends up in the Witch World. Shen Jiu wanders around a bit and ends up coming across one of these little invasion parties. He reacts predictably, and ends up being a protector of sorts for this one specific village. The dude falconers are of course freaking out, but he is very good at making them regret their life and their choices if they can't be bothered to have manners.

If I wanted to do this crossover I would have to actually read the books/stories where Falconers turn up.

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This is such a great idea/concept. I'd love to see it written.

SVSSS AU Idea: You see me as a villain, huh?

Svsss au where, on a mission with Yue Qingyuan and LQG, Shen Jiu gets kicked into the abyss

 LQG thought Shen Jiu was attacking him,  Yue Qingyuan was kinda frozen in horror and. Didn’t help.

Shen Jiu catches himself on his sword but. Kinda regrets not just dying when he hits the ground. Then the miasma starts eating at his lungs and he figures he’s dying pretty soon anyway.

However! A certain Tianlang Jun and zhushi Lang are on a stroll through the abyss to fetch SXY something powerful and shiny, because that seems like the kind of thing cultivators probably like

Now, Shen Jiu is powerful and shiny, but not really something you can give as a courting gift. Still, cultivators don’t like it when you leave other cultivators to die, probably. So they pick the half dead man up, who is near incoherently cussing them out, and carry him back to the castle to patch up

Shen Jiu thinks Cang Qiong believes him a traitor so he’s not going back, TLJ offers to let him stay, because he’s kinda fun and is a good book buddy because he rips them to shreds. Also he’s good at tactics while TLJ is terrible at them, because he mostly just throws himself at problems and they go away. Shen Jiu, reluctantly fond of this useless man and quietly furious that the first people to be good to him are literal demons, agrees.

This au features: Shen Jiu warning them that the old palace master is up to something and helping them murder the guy and raising their brand new baby Su Binghe. He refuses to admit he’s fond of the baby on pain of death.

Also he goes for a nice walk, things happen and suddenly he’s murdering a collection of demonic slavers who had picked up some humans to sell as food, and ends up with the only surviving human child, an 8 year old boy, as his brand new ward. He insists he’s looking to boys family. He is not.

Meanwhile, Shen Yuan  is having a really fucking rough time with his transmigration - waking up as a homeless 6 year old with the system saying ‘due to a plot deviation we are unable to provide assistance, thank you for your patronage’ and promptly vanishing? That’s a shitty way to wake up. Then he gets himself caught by demons to be sold like livestock, and THEN he gets saved by some random human cultivator shacked up with demons. And seems to be the baby protagonists weird uncle??? And the scum villain of the novel???????

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This Crossover Bunny is Brought to You by Norse Mythology and The Thing (1982)

Due to Body Horror Squick, I have never been able to completely watch The Thing. However, I recently saw a post on Tumblr squeeing about what a bizarrely natural actor the wolf-dog playing the part of The Thing was during the shooting of the movie. That is, apparently, the wolf-dog appeared to be very aware that he was playing a part, and appeared to be acting instead of responding specifically to training cues. (Appearing to move in such a way that was "alien" and then acting like a "dog." Appearing to react in ways that seemed deliberately planned actions, as if he was aware that this was a performance, and so on.)

And I immediately thought about Norse Mythology because of its vast supply of wolves. After some more percolating, I remembered Vali, the son of Loki, who was turned into a wolf and set on his brother Narfi, killing him. (According to Snorri, as punishment for Loki's part in the death of Baldr. Which was followed by the entire "tie Loki in the guts of his dead son and have a snake drool poison on him until Ragnarok.")

It isn't mentioned IIRC if Vali is also killed. We do know he runs off. Assuming he is still a god or other immortal being, let's imagine that Vali survived into the present day. Let's further imagine that he somehow ends up as an animal actor, aided and abetted by people who are acting as his Support People/agents/"trainers."

I am imagining a fic that would be somewhat found family, with a side of hurt/comfort.

I think this could also be worked in as an original fic, where Vali is still an actor, only in various other monster/alien invasion movies, and that he worked as the alien in The Thing is only an implication.

I think the story would be a combination of "found family" and "hurt/comfort." With a side chaser of recovery from trauma and PTSD. I also think that you could easily make this more of an original fic with the movies Vali has worked in implied or alluded to.

The people acting as his "trainers" could be actually related to him in some sense (It's implied in the Lokasenna by Odin that Loki skived off and played housewife and had more kids somewhere IIRC. You could also have Vali having humanish-looking kids with a shapechanger or after a relationship with a being from another mythology.) Or you could have someone at some point rescuing him from a Bad Situation at any point in history and having Vali protect the descendants of that person. (Dogfighting, baiting, caught in a trap, and so on.)

Note: Yes, I do know that this part of the myth is slightly borked on the names.

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This is just as awesome as I imagined it being.

[Fic] “Honor Among Chefs” - Leverage/Dragaera

46. Written 2/18/20 for runespoor, in response to the prompt: Leverage/Dragaera, Eliot, Valabar’s.

Honor Among Chefs (165 words)

“We’re not using Valabar’s as the location for the con,” Eliot said without looking up from his recipe notes, currently a mess of potential ingredient substitutions that might either mimic acute arsenic poisoning or cover the flavor of the active agents; “First, you don’t shit where you eat, and second, there’s no way Mr. Valabar will hire me back for less than a full-year contract.”

“You worked at Valabar’s and never told us?” Hardison demanded, his own sorcerous project abruptly forgotten; “I’m hurt by this lack of trust, and also your refusal to get us reservations with your secret inside connections.”

“That’s not how it works, and also, you don’t shit where you eat,” Eliot repeated; “The Stuffed Pigeon’s owner owes me a favor and the restaurant’s popular enough for Lady Vethilor to accept an invitation to dinner; now hurry and finish that knick-knack before Parker gets back from her meeting with the Left Hand and we have to set up the fake apothecary shop.”

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This Crossover Has Winged Lizards (And is Not Pern Adjacent).

So, Crossover between Mo Dao Zushi and the Vlad Taltos books by Steven Brust. Could this be fusioned? I am not really sure.

Dragaera/Vlad Taltos series: Okay so the Vlad books are about Vlad Taltos, human and outsider in an empire where he is not considered human. (The Dragaerans consider themselves to be human, despite being genetically engineered and essentially elves in this setting. They are organized by House, named after whatever particular animal they've been given traits from. Except the Jhereg, who are actually descended from bandits and a traitor from the Dragon Tribe/House.) Our Boy bought a minor title in the House of Jhereg, which is more or less a cross between the Standard Western Fantasy Thieves Guild and the Mob. (Closer to the Mob.) Our Boy has Interesting Things happen to him and eventually has to leave the Jhereg and go on the run due to the Interesting Things. There's also the Dragaera books which are written in the style of Alexander Dumas.

Now, when I said the Dragaerans were gene-engineered, I did not mean they did it to themselves. They were a science project by another super powered race called the Jenoine. (This makes Easterners like Vlad, who were not gen-engineered the controls for whatever awful unethical experiments the Jenoine were up to.) The Jenoine were eventually driven away by the Dragaerans and their gods. (Who may or may not have also been Jenoine experiments or servants.)

One idea could be that there is a Jenoine outpost in the Burial Mounds that Wei Wuxian comes across when he gets dumped there. It's emptied, but there's a way to Vlad's world that he goes through. On the other side he possibly ends up with a Very Powerful Sword and/or a helpful Eastern assassin.

Another idea (a possible fusion): Go far enough East and you end up in the cultivation world. Vlad somehow ends up Far Enough East, and Things Happen. (Maybe semi-adopting a tiny Xue Yang after XY gets his finger obliterated. "Accidental gremlin acquisition.") XY learning witchcraft instead of demonic cultivation would be interesting. (I picked Xue Yang in particular because Vlad is also missing a finger, though his missing finger is the result of blocking a sword with his hand.) Xue Yang interacting with Verra the Demon Goddess would be interesting or terrifying. (Likewise Deverra omg.)

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This crossover has elaborate hairstyles and speaks in third person

The Goblin Emperor/Untamed. I am not sure how I'd go about it, except maybe the base concept I've had for previous crossovers where Wei Wuxian and the Wen Remnants find a place that is Very Far from the cultivation world. In this case, the Elven Empire.

How they'd get there, I'm not sure, but they'd basically be refugees, and run into an outpost of the Elven Empire. There would be a few minor diplomatic incidents and maybe also an eventual audience with Maia, who grants them some territory in exchange for services rendered because Wei Wuxian is a genius-level magic user. (How would Elven magic users react to WWX's necromancy and also Wen Ning is the question.) WWX I think would find the airships and steam punk stuff Very Cool.