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Finally saw End of Evangelion (1997) in theaters as it was meant to be with a fellow animation nerd. When it comes to cinematography, there hasn't been another anime that left me awestruck more than NGE. The abstract visuals, symbolism, and composition are out of this world. Even simple shots have so much meaning. I love its bold use of color, sillouhettes, and typography and how unafraid it is to be experimental. This is part of what gives NGE such unique vision and identity.

Experiencing this film on the big screen resurfaced feelings of dread like I was watching it for the first time again. Hearing every bit of audio in surround sound made the immersion of those grand scale scenes and oppressive atmopshere even more intense. The sandbox sequence hit the hardest- quiet scenes with no dialogue always do a phenomenal job of letting the mood sink in. Like that low angle shot of lonely little Shinji watching the Rei and Asuka dolls leave with their mom, unable to cross the gap separating them.

While the ending made me depressed upon my first viewing, after multiple rewatches I realized it has a bittersweet yet hopeful message. It's meant to be distubing and you feel the unpleasant existential crisis of everyone, which makes Shinji's rejection of Instrumentality all the more impactful.

The truth can be painful, but it is necessary for living and forming genuine connections while ambiguity isolates people is a message I couldn't agree more with.

As an artist myself, I'm grateful that Anno stayed true to his vision in both the creative sense and with his unconventional narrative. He knew it'd upset/piss off certain fans but made this film anyway. Without based directors like Anno, we wouldn't have Evangelion and other groundbreaking masterpieces that make you think.

「生きていこうとさえ思えばどこだって天国になるわ。だって生きているんですもの。幸せになるチャンスはどこにでもあるわ。」

“Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live. After all you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy. "

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Ayanami Rei my beloved. Clothes are based on her Fila Radio Eva collab figure. She's grooving to this (@ 1:07 goes so hard). ☆twitter

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Girl's night

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New Years Yugioh haul featuring the lovely Dark Magician Girl & the pharaoh himself! I'm very picky about figures when it comes to quality & Kotobukiya's DMG has the best model accuracy. Dark Magician Girl is so cute, everything about her color scheme is perfect! Might get Kaiba some day...also wish purple Dark Magician had more figures.

☆Yugioh collection part 1 ☆My Yugioh art

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Girl's night

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Duet

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Been on a Yugioh kick lately and wanted to draw Esper Roba and Jinzo. What a fun duel! On a side note, I also have a Twitter for sharing my art. Looking for more Yugioh fans to geek out with!

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This SSS Fender strat is my 2nd electric guitar. Its shell pink body and mint pickguard gives it a pretty cool retro look, I dig it. And it came with a large hardcase that weighs like an anchor. Have a Nirvana shirt to match🤘

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Dark Magician | Dark Magician Girl ☆ Mahad | Mana 

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Eva haul やっと来た！I'm a huge fan of Evangelion for its striking visuals, unconventional and revolutionary writing, and lithe designs of the Eva units. Also got some Reis since she's my favorite for obvious reasons. 

The Tsukuda Hobby ones (last photo) are some of the biggest figures I’ve seen, standing at 43cm/17 inches tall. I’m particular about them being on model to the anime and these have accurate proportions. What I don’t like is their smell and texture though, it feels oily. Very unpleasant to touch. But I’m happy to own these large scale figures as they capture the awesome grandeur of the giant Evas.  

As for the beautiful Rei figures, I’m impressed with the high quality paint job. Her hair is translucent towards the end which looks amazing. Her plugsuit also has a nice metallic shine. Rei on the left side (3rd and 4th pic) has a standard matte finish so you can see the difference. You know how I keep saying Near is Rei coded? Rei in the last Rebuild film all the more confirms it. I love the fact they both share the same hairstyle even as they get older. Seriously, the resemblance is crazy- from short, chin-length hair to super long and disheveled. Overall, I have to say these cool figures add a lot of swag to my desktop and workspace!

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Morrigan Aensland, my queen. Revamp of an old work. 

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Near+L sketches based on the dark deco style of an artist who's always been a big inspiration for me, most known for being the vision behind Batman The Animated Series: Bruce Timm. His bold lines and use of negative space form sharp, curvaceous silhouettes.

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Played Omori a couple months back and liked it more than I expected. Wrote a bit of my thoughts along with drawing Sunny and my 2 other favorite characters, Rei and Near 

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「モンスターではない！神だ！！」  My first attempt at Yugioh fanart, featuring Obelisk The Tormentor and Kaiba the absolute chad.

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Treated myself to some Yugioh OCG Black/Dark Magician cards because I always thought their designs are dope as f. The way they sparkle is incredible to watch, my camera doesn't do it justice. visual stim heaven✨ 

I especially like the artwork for Dark Magic Inheritance. It has a strong narrative displaying the two magician’s teacher-student relationship. Both are kneeling in a chivalrous, ceremonial manner in contrast to their usual dynamic pose. I love that Dark Magician Girl’s hat is in her hands, making her look more humble. It’s a beautiful artwork I wanted to give some appreciation to. And it’s just fascinating to see these iconic monster cards interact. 

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Thoughts and headcanons

I was lazy to type these at first despite it being in the back of my mind for months, but it’s nice to have a place to organize dumb thoughts. As I’m catching up on other anime like Yugioh, it’s kind of sad that Death Note in comparison doesn’t have much content in terms of world building, merchandise, or even showing what a character’s life is like outside of doing their job. In fact, some of their existence are treated solely as a plot device instead of a fleshed out compelling person. I know it’s mainly because DN’s writing is more story-driven than on characters, but it leaves me wanting to know more about them. 

Besides being highly fond of a few characters, admiring the animation’s cinematic visuals and how the style is a time capsule of early 2000 anime (muted color palette, gothic aesthetic, white gradient lighting) I’m not that invested with DN as a whole, the Yotsuba arc being the weakest with forgettable side villains (seriously, how often do you hear anyone mention the Yostuba members besides occasionally Higuchi?) and a section that dragged on longer than it should have. Rem being the one to kill L also ruined the point of this whole battle of wits DN was building up if Light can simply make a fucking shinigami do the work. It’s fine though, L’s passing means BEST BOY NEAR has now entered the picture.

Only Near can have soulless eyes and still be cutest thing alive. He actually fits well with the gothic visual design of DN in subtle ways- It’s those black eyes that stare right into your soul, his ghostly appearance, playing with creepy toys/finger puppets/L’s mask, and smiling like a psychopath out of nowhere in some scenes, hilariously contrasting his usual stoic demeanor. 

Onto headcanons:

Near

can be more sensitive than he lets on, he’s just good at hiding it. 

avoids eye contact unless it’s with someone he trusts.

enjoys visual stimulation such as the flickering of holiday lights, rain drops on a window, colorful contraptions performing in a loop or predictable pattern like a toy train driving in circles or a spinning windmill (I sketched something for this).

round pudgy Near >>>> generic skinny anime girl Near. I get why some imagine him skinny since he barely....moves. but a lil bit of chub fits his character design better. Plus there’s already plenty of skinny bitches in DN so it’s more fun to see some variety (long-haired Near is an exception bc he lost all his baby fat by then).

has a rather big capacity to hate or look down on someone, shown by his opinions on Kira, the president, Takada, etc. It’s visually amplified in the anime where he constantly looks like an angry kitten. 

smug brat

the giant common room at Wammy’s House is also Near’s playroom and there are days when everyone needs to clear out so he can play amongst 1000000000000000+ legos. 

his reaction came off as cold during the announcement of L’s death, but I imagine he didn’t exactly know how to express his grief at the moment. You even see a nonverbal display of his upset in canon when he spills his puzzle pieces on the floor. The first emotion he felt was anger towards L. The hero he respected was supposed to be unbeatable. L promised he’d win. It’s not until Near’s alone in his room that he breaks down. 

this one’s not a headcanon, but I love the fact that he's literally the only main character who survived. And on top of that, a breaker of the white-haired-anime-character-dies trope. What a king. Big win for autism. 

has extremely low pain tolerance. One little splinter to the finger and he’s done. 

Creepy nightmare fuel L is best L. 

L

can play the piano and sometimes does it during his Wammy House visits. 

has 0 interest in romantic relations. He doesn’t even express interest in making friends. He’s shown only ever focused on crime solving and is content with it. Other than that, I can only see him as a top. He’s prideful, hates losing any ounce of control, and isn’t the type to let his guard down.

L understands Near best. Everything about them looks like they’d be on the same wavelength. They can communicate and tell what the other’s thinking with a glance. No words needed.

so dependent on sweets that he can’t function without it, almost like an addict. If he doesn’t get his daily sugar, he becomes distressed and easily irritated.

Speaking of addiction, I doubt he’s the type to use drugs (though he certainly would have easy access), but maybe he’d save it for rare occasions when he needs to truly wind down and turn off his mind especially after an exhausting case.

is impatient and less cooperative when working with others as opposed to Near. (canon actually, just an observation.) 

like Near, L is also sensitive to noise and dislikes being around loud people/environments, but he’ll tolerate it if it’s necessary.

unlike Near, L has a much higher pain tolerance. He took a punch to the face several times and didn’t even flinch. If something did hurt, he’d under react simply saying: “ow.” with the same stoic face. 

Yeah I know that’s Misa’s eye but there’s no official anime screencap for B so fuck it that’s him with mascara. 

Beyond Birthday

if Another Note ever got an anime adaption, Akira Ishida would be the  ideal voice for B. Just listen to these clips. I can’t find anyone else more perfect for the role. A soft yet menacing tone, constantly scheming.

I know there’s BxL fanfics out there, but it’s hard to see B ever wanting him. If anything, I’m more convinced that B loathes L, what he represents, and how he’s idolized by the kids at Wammy’s House, you know, an institution that grooms orphans to become L’s successor.

B is also often depicted as a top but we all know he’s true bottom because what edgy tryhard says out loud: “I’m a top, an aggressive top (guys i swear i’m a top look at me lick this knife i’m so evil)” -B 

he’s a few years younger than L. 

was close friends with A. A’s death was the final straw that pushed B to leave Wammy’s House.

B is Californian, more specifically from L.A. What better location to scheme complex murders than in a place you’re well familiar with?  

he had eyebrows, but shaved them off for his L disguise. 

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L and Near's seiyuu (Yamaguchi Kappei 山口勝平さん and Hidaka Noriko 日髙のり子さん ) voiced in a lot of classic anime together! My mind was blown by their other roles & had to draw them!!