psique-ecos

[psique-ecos]

📮 April 2025 Letter

— ❖ Psique — Letter to a Supernova

This is a letter that never had a destination. Written for a star that already burnt out. 🌌

🗑️🌀🧠🌀🧠🗑️🌀

I wrote this letter knowing I won’t send it. I still think of you. Not with longing or hope or hatred — just memory. Sometimes sharp like sudden wind, sometimes soft like dust on old furniture. You're there

I don’t know what became of you. Maybe I never truly did. You were always a little out of reach, weren’t you? Not because you didn’t care, but because I wanted to get closer than you could allow.

I loved you the only way I knew how: messily, selfishly, sometimes destructively. I know I hurt you Even when I thought I was giving you everything, I wasn’t giving you what mattered most: space, understanding, gentleness.

🗑️🌀🧠🌀🧠🗑️🌀

I’ve stopped trying to rewrite the past. But I revisit it sometimes, not out of guilt, just to make peace with what shaped me. You did, after all Not just through the hurt, but through the patience you offered until you couldn’t anymore.

I remember the weight of your back resting on my bed. The silences we shared echo louder now than any of our words. I didn’t know how to take care of someone like you when I could barely carry myself.

There were consequences. Real ones. Boundaries that keep us safe now. I have no intention of crossing them. But I keep this letter anyway — just in case, in some other world, it finds the light it was meant for.

🗑️🌀🧠🌀🧠🗑️🌀

I wish you could meet the version of me that exists now. Not perfect, not healed, but softer, more grateful.

You didn’t save me, but you lit something inside me that refused to go out. And from that ember, I built myself back up.

I don’t want anything from you. Not answers. Not forgiveness.

I carry your name like a shadow. Not heavy. Just always there.

– Psique 🧠🩸

[psique-ecos]

🗑️ Welcome to the Two-Headed Trashbag Diary

✦ introduction✦

HI, this my public diary.

This space is where I’ll be dumping thoughts, writing long letters about personal things, overanalyzing feelings, and sometimes just being weird about music, games, or love.

Each month I’ll post a reflective letter about something I’ve been dealing with: sometimes sad, sometimes funny, mostly human.

The vibe here is indie mess, philosophical spiral, and emotional honesty. If you’re into Car Seat Headrest, Night in the Woods, Neutral Milk Hotel, and overthinking life as a sport, you might feel at home here.

I'm Psique (he/him/they).

There’s no schedule, no expectations. Just vibes, sometimes pain, sometimes softness.

Thanks for stopping by.

P.S. If you want to find my letters, you can check the tag: #psique letters or just follow the mess: #two-headed trashbag diary

[psique-ecos]

📮 March 2025 Letter — ❖ Psique —

“20 years and not quite there”

🗑️🌀🧠🌀🧠🗑️🌀

People act surprised when I say I’m 20, like it explains my immaturity. And honestly? They’re not wrong. I don’t drive. I don’t organize my life. I panic over basic tasks. I act like someone who just turned 18, because in a way, that’s where I got stuck.

I missed the social coming-of-age stuff. Switched schools too late so I lost a lot of friends. Lost critical years to the pandemic. While everyone else was learning how to be people, I just… paused. Then I got depressed and tried to end my life. I threw away my 19s. Now I’m 20, but it feels fake ,like I skipped a step I was supposed to take.

🗑️🌀🧠🌀🧠🗑️🌀

It all reminds me of two things:

The Ballad of the Costa Concordia by Car Seat Headrest — Will listing everything he can’t do, spiraling into “I should know how by now.”

Night in the Woods —Mae’s 20, lost, jobless, and constantly reminded she’s falling behind.

It’s not just the “adult” stuff I struggle with. I’ve hurt people too, mostly because I didn’t know how to handle myself, let alone anyone else. But I’m trying now. Still immature, but maybe a little less selfish.

🗑️🌀🧠🌀🧠🗑️🌀

This letter’s from March, but I’m posting it in April. Call it a late entry. Or an archive.

– Psique 🧠🩸

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I hope that you're asleep

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redraw. happy valentines day!

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"it's such a drag"

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the empty parking lot we fold our bones in

streetlights reflecting make an asphalt halo

the nighttime is the right time, come on, let's go

it was much darker at that time, don't you know?

alt versions:

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So descend into cliché

(I’m so normal abt having a breakup)

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Holy crap that's so cool

first drawing in clip studio paint! no fucking clue what i'm doing but i had fun making this :)

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call it blackstar, call it painstar

the same thing happens when you touch it

did they tell you what happens when you touch it?

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Is this anything

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I wonder what Mae got up to this Harfest 🎃🍂

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Pretty good art

so uh. Hi guys im back in tumblr i guess.

dw no dramatic reason why i left i just lost the motivation to keep posting ::P

So uh, any CSH fans out there?

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She radio on my head till my jigsaw falls into place

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a doooodle from last night since i couldnt sleep

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☆—☆