psychedalice

[psychedalice]

alas. bottled up feelings that were never poured now leak through my eyes. months and months of hopeful musings and inevitable regrets. i knew what was the right thing to do. but i never wanted to hear it from you. is this it now? going away without having the chance to come by? always so close but a thousand miles? we never even started, how are we to end it?

do we really want to end it?

years have gone by, and what’s changed? everything, except us. invisible to the surface but always beneath the innocence.

innocence to your touch, your eyes, your love. how would it feel in between your fingers, to be the focus of your gaze, to be the muse in your play. wouldn’t you like to know? maybe i’d never know.

[psychedalice]

knowing you

was like walking in a house that isn’t mine;

but i recognized the doors,

and knew every room,

i could sleep peacefully

like it was my own.

that’s how you felt like,

you felt like home.

[psychedalice]

truth is, i don’t want us to spend more time together because i don’t wanna start missing you. but i guess it’s too late, i already do.

[psychedalice]

hey. i miss talking to you.

i know you think you’re boring, but i am too.

you’re the kind of boring i find comfort in. 

you bring extraordinary peace just by talking.

so, i don’t mind. let’s be together. i mean,

boring together.

[psychedalice]

sometimes you don’t even need water to feel like drowning

[psychedalice]

what is happening to me

[psychedalice]

it’s 2 a.m. 

feeling like i just lost a friend

hope you know this ain’t easy for me

im sorry.

[psychedalice]

i know i wanted us to part ways. leave me in this side of the world while i tinker with this bomb in me. you were a casualty. i wanted to save you even when i didn’t even know how to save myself.

but now all i do is wonder how you are, where you are, what will be. it’s hard, i know. but for now, knowing we were under the same sky, looking out at the same sea, is enough for me.

[psychedalice]

“What advice do you want every woman in their 20s to know?”

[psychedalice]

your tumblr is one of those things that you want everyone to see but at the same time you never want to show it to anyone

[psychedalice]

What terrifies you these days?

Oh man, there it is. That smile. I know where that leads. It starts with that look on his face. The longing, the anticipation, the expectation. It warms my heart and for a split second I think it’s beautiful. The way he looks over when I’m not looking. The way you can feel the innocence when your hands accidentally brush against each other while walking. The way he is a gentleman without even trying.

Looking over that rainbow, you start to think. Is this the promise after the rain? Am I really worthy to be loved again? He reached his hand out to you, and for a moment you thought you’re ready to take it. But the rain fell and you remembered the hand you let go. You hesitate, take a step back, and convince yourself you shouldn’t take another hand you’re not ready to hold.

[psychedalice]

i could have been something. // r.i.d

[psychedalice]

“NEVER WANTED ANYBODY TO FIX ME…JUST BE BY MY SIDE WHILE I FIX MYSELF”

— (via remanence-of-love)

[psychedalice]

How was it possible to miss something you no longer wanted?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

[psychedalice]

Idk. It just felt like I was nourishing something that could kill me.

[psychedalice]

[psychedalice]

your name forever the name on my lips