psychicchildnerd-blog

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

me: *thinks back to a childhood memory*

me: someone….. probably should have been a little worried

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Please reblog, this is so important.

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

My Little Sister Is Amazing

Friday my mom got a text going "I talked to my guidence counselor and she called Child Protection Services on dad" And two minutes later they were at our house to talk to mom about what's going on.

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

My dad wouldnt let him stop going.... but he did start acting better. Now my brother gets to decide in 2 months if he goes to my dads, and my sisters becoming a lot more vocal about what's wrong with his house

Dad's Going To Be PISSED

So my brother is 16, my little sister will be 14 soon. Court order says that we have to be 18 to choose which parent we live with, until then its joint custody. My moms tried getting this changed a few times(because we don’t want to be with our dad), but stopped a few years ago because it just made things worse.

Recently my mom told my brother that he probably doesn’t have to wait till 18 since my dad moved out from HIS dads at 16(like a “well you did, why can’t I?” situation). My brother is making that day tomorrow….

My little sister(poor girl) has to wait at least 2 years…. Unless we try court again. These recent events will probably benefit our case(2 of us turn 18 and don’t come back, 1 didn’t wait that long, and 1 is just waiting).

So yeah, possibly taking dad to court for younger sister, brothers not waiting till the age court says, so he’s going to be PISSED, and I guess I’m sadistic or something because I’m enjoying this all going down.

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

My mom would try taking my dad to court for abuse and my dad would just brush it off. At one point he said "yeah I left bruises, but they were being punished".... it's child abuse, and I cant think of a single thing that would warrant bruises lasting a week or longer, or hurting an 11 year old to the point she still has physical problems eight years later. Not to mention all the panic attacks my siblings and I have had over the smallest things. No one deserves that

Some parents still act so proud when they hit their children. You’re not a parent, you’re a child abuser.

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Do you ever feel like everything you do is a wasted effort?

Like no matter how hard you try, nothing changes

Work so diligently on a project, only to watch it fall apart in front of you

Study so hard for a quiz only to flunk

Show kindness to someone, only for them to shove you into the mud you helped them out of

Forgive someone, only for them to stab you again

Offer your heart to someone, only for them to smash it to pieces at your feet

Make sure you're there for others, only to be abandoned when you're at your worst

Do you ever wonder if anything you did was worthwhile?

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Something i wrote just because

Sticks and stones may break my bones But words will never hurt me Thats the biggest lie they teach While the twigs bounce off and the pebbles miss their marks The words will cut the deepest They go much further than the body protects To tear at the spirit directly No one stops to think of what they say They dont come up with better words And the phrases are the most painful injuries Its the damage that cant be seen That over time eats away at me Until there's nothing left to hurt Sticks and stones may break my bones But words can break my heart

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Me every winter

ho ho ho where did my motivation go

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Just something I wrote, don't know why...

I'm addicted to you.  Not like a drug that does damage as it leaves me craving for more... Rather, like a muse is addicted to his instrument, a painter to his brush, or a child to his teddy bear. Yes, you're my teddy bear, able to soothe my worries and tears with something as simple as proximity. I'm addicted to the smile that brightens the sun itself, the firm yet gentle form that wraps itself around me in a hug whenever things are rough, the protective mind that guards me from my own poor decisions as well as those who wish me harm. All of it calls to me, seeming to unwrap my fingers from the shattered heart I learned too late I needed to fight to protect. I'm addicted to you because you're my salvation, my healer, and I am still broken.

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

I never told you guys.... He got transferred to an Arbys that is constantly dead

The Manager's Going To Get Fired

Im just getting home from work, its 3 am. I live less than 10 minutes from work, and we were SUPPOSED to be finished by 1 am. Its actually supposed to be even earlier than that but this Manager always closes late so they pushed the time frame back and he STILL can’t finish on time(plus i was an extra person, so he REALLY should have been able to get it done)… So i started work 12 hours ago, got one break…. Im exhausted, and i feel bad for my sister who had the same shift and has to work tomorrow(also she didn’t get a break).

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

This week is the embodiment of my own personal hell

Thats all im gonna say about the first 3 days of the week

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Some people suck, others are great

I got a job at Arbys, and today I almost started crying because a lady threw a fit about me handing her the wrong shake(it wasnt even the wrong shake, she just didn't SAY she wanted to try it with bacon in it). The way she got after me... All i could think about was how my dad would yell at us like that before he threw things(like the tv).

Then there are these two guys that come in every sunday after church, and they're older fellows. These two are so sweet and kind that they always brighten my day when i see them.

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Today i got my schedule for school. Already had to change stuff because despite spending a lot of time working to get two choirs, they only put me down for one. On top of that, the choir they put me down for was the lowest choir, and i got into a higher one. Now my schedule has the higher choir first tri, and both choirs second and third trimesters, and a lot of the classes i got i had only put down for lack of another option.

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

The Manager's Going To Get Fired

Im just getting home from work, its 3 am. I live less than 10 minutes from work, and we were SUPPOSED to be finished by 1 am. Its actually supposed to be even earlier than that but this Manager always closes late so they pushed the time frame back and he STILL can’t finish on time(plus i was an extra person, so he REALLY should have been able to get it done)… So i started work 12 hours ago, got one break…. Im exhausted, and i feel bad for my sister who had the same shift and has to work tomorrow(also she didn't get a break).

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Dad's Going To Be PISSED

So my brother is 16, my little sister will be 14 soon. Court order says that we have to be 18 to choose which parent we live with, until then its joint custody. My moms tried getting this changed a few times(because we don't want to be with our dad), but stopped a few years ago because it just made things worse. Recently my mom told my brother that he probably doesn't have to wait till 18 since my dad moved out from HIS dads at 16(like a "well you did, why can't I?" situation). My brother is making that day tomorrow.... My little sister(poor girl) has to wait at least 2 years.... Unless we try court again. These recent events will probably benefit our case(2 of us turn 18 and don't come back, 1 didn't wait that long, and 1 is just waiting). So yeah, possibly taking dad to court for younger sister, brothers not waiting till the age court says, so he's going to be PISSED, and I guess I'm sadistic or something because I'm enjoying this all going down.

[psychicchildnerd-blog]

Can someone help... Advice, anything???

So i haven't posted in a while.... Much has changed. Was supposed to start physical therapy.... Still haven't. Got a job, went to my dads for the first time since turning 18, got threatened by my mom twice this month to make me live there..... Fun times. First time was because despite cleaning half the house, i didnt get the dishes done. So she wakes me up yelling and screaming about how she has to fight to get me to do anything in this house and she cant think of a way to change that.... Should she take away everything? Ground me? Obviously the next step is either make me live at my abusive fathers or on the street.... So i do the work and she comes back from whatever it was she had to do and pretty much told me "sorry for threatening to kick you out, you werent even who i was mad at" So getting close to a month since then, i went to my dads for the first time since turning 18.... There for maybe 30 second and hes yelling at kids for the mess while they're cleaning. Despite countless times of saying i dont want to spend the night here anymore... Here i am, 11:30 pm, dad snoring in the living room. Got a message from mom a few hours ago asking when we were coming home and if we didnt work on communication better and this ever happened again.... Stay at dads. A message she sent my sister almost makes it sound like, again not mad at us..... So shes threatened twice to make me stay with my ADMITTEDLY abusive father because of some stupid situation she wasn't really mad at us about, just venting anger from something else. I dont even know what to do anymore because i dont want to stay here nor do i want to go home, and i dont make enough money to live on my own yet... Choose my poison i guess