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[psycholojosh]

Sometimes, I sincerely wonder if I am in the (terrible) position that I am because the universe is preparing me for something greater than I could handle it delicately, excellently.

[psycholojosh]

There are a lot of inculcated topics lang to me back then na right now I am questioning, for example this one. I had this noong 1st year pa ako, it’s been years, siguro kaya I have a lot of doubts and questions about things because I was afraid to ask before. And im questioning the curriculum of our education, it seems outdated. Uhm Can u tell me about him?

I'm sensing that you have more specific questions in mind about Erik Erikson's theory, especially when you mentioned doubts. What are your doubts exactly?

In the meantime, I maybe can talk a little bit about him. Since you said that you've studied this in the past, I'll spare you the specific details of the theory (or just Google it haha). But the main idea behind Erik Erikson's theory is that people go through different stages of development throughout the lifespan that involve personal drives (what he called 'tendencies') and social dynamics. And it can be expected that some develop adaptive or maladaptive core beliefs that show in their behaviors and thoughts depending on how they progress in each stage.

I don't judge you for questioning your curriculum and education.. That's good exercise of critical thinking. I personally don't think that Erikson is completely outdated, but it's always okay to explore its relevance in our lives. But I will defer to my friends and peers who specialize in developmental psychology on how much this is true. I know that there are still studies that investigate the use of his theory in topics like child development and even evaluating psychosocial programs (like, in schools or work settings). As for the clinical field, we learn about him - as his ideas are actually helpful in getting a sense of where a person is developmentally (even among adults). Also, if my memory serves me right, there are some psychoanalytic therapies that actually tackle Erikson's concepts (rather than Freud's) to understand a person's drivers and roadblocks to personal development.

I think the reason why it's being taught at the college level is because it's foundational to understanding an aspect of psychology. After all, Erikson did give a groundbreaking idea in his time which prompted others to explore other ideas and theories as well. It's similar to how we still study Freud despite not having enough empirical evidence to support his theory today. But his ideas actually paved the way and learning about these classical theories that helps us understand how (psychologists) were able to view humanity.

[psycholojosh]

Do u know Erik Erickson (Post Freudian Theory)?

Yes. We studied that back in college. What about it? 👀

[psycholojosh]

Hello! Can u tell me about Sigmind freud the interpretation of dreams?

Hello! If you’re asking me to give you a synthesis of the book, then I’m afraid I cannot... especially since I haven’t read it myself. 🤭 But I do have a copy of it and once had an idea of writing my insights about it here. I just don’t have the mental energy and time. Hahaha! 😅 I recommend reading the book for yourself and see what ideas you can pick up.

What I do know, as of now, is that it’s one of the seminal works of Sigmund Freud that became integral in his psychoanalytic theory. He talked a lot about the three levels of the psyche and how they play a role in our personality, behavior, and even psychopathology. Freud analyzed dreams of his clients as a way to access the unconscious material repressed deep, deep down the mind. He often interpreted dreams not by what the content was, but what the content represents (i.e., anxieties, values, neurotic thoughts, etc.). The reason behind that is that he wanted his clients to become aware of what these repressed materials are and how they influence one’s life. (In psychoanalytical terms, “putting it forth into one’s ego”.) And by being more aware of these, clients make changes in their behaviors through their insights.

Really mind-boggling stuff, if you ask me. And also it takes a lot of effort to learn and master psychoanalytics, which is why it is considered a niche subfield in clinical psychology. But I think there’s value in learning from Freud’s ideas because... apparently, we still study him even if there is not enough research evidence anymore.

[psycholojosh]

hello, can i ask po? yung hierarchy ni maslow. if in order for to achieve esteem, i have to fulfill muna the belongingness, how can you possibly do that if your issues hindi lang siya rooted in one tree, but multiple? human emotions and fulfillment are quite complex, now fulfilled ka, the next empty. technically, us, as a whole is not stable or ako lang unstable? how do you define toxicity ba?

Hi! So this question (or should I say questions?) is very nuanced. I noticed you started asking about Maslow, but then proceeded to ask about emotions, fulfillment, and "wholeness", then about "toxicity". While they may be related one way or another, I think it's best if we break this down accordingly, with the info that you gave me.

Before anything, though, if this question requires professional advice, this is not the best place to look for it. But, I'll answer this in a way that could hopefully inform you and figure things out for yourself -- especially with one of the questions that refer to you. So, please do seek professional advice (i.e., a psychologist) when you need to.

Okay so...

About Maslow's hierarchy of needs:

yung hierarchy ni maslow. if in order for to achieve esteem, i have to fulfill muna the belongingness, how can you possibly do that if your issues hindi lang siya rooted in one tree, but multiple?

Tama ka naman. Maslow indeed theorized that we require our needs for love and belongingness to be fulfilled before we could "truly" fulfill our needs for self-esteem. In a gist: Surrounding yourself in a nurturing environment (i.e., family, friends, partner/s, loved ones, peers, community, etc.) can help you feel that you are supported and that you belong somewhere. But that does not mean that we should not do things that boost our self-esteem when we're still trying to find a place to be loved and belong. This is a major misconception. Maslow just says that it might help us fulfill higher levels of needs much more efficiently when the lower ones are too. So if you wanna practice your self-love first, go for it!

You mentioned something about multiple "trees" and I wish you could have explained what you meant by this more. But, I'm assuming that you're talking about intra- and interpersonal issues that you have been living with for quite some time, if not more. I think the simple answer I can provide to you now is to first explore and identify what these deep-rooted issues are and accept that you have them - no matter how unpleasant that may sound. Be it anxieties, insecurities, things you don't like about yourself, regrets, flaws, imperfections, and so on - it is your prerogative to understand where they come from (i.e., family upbringing, childhood, past and present experiences, etc.) and how they affect you now. Do they make you feel like it's difficult to receive and express love and care to others? Do they make it difficult for you to appreciate yourself, flaws and all? Try to be honest with yourself, without judgement. (I mean, we all have them anyway.)

Now, what about addressing them? As for fulfilling one's needs, it's a matter of personal work. And this brings me to the next point...

The questions about fulfilling your needs and "stability":

human emotions and fulfillment are quite complex, now fulfilled ka, the next empty. technically, us, as a whole is not stable or ako lang unstable?

You've actually touched on a very important idea in psychology - the push-and-pull between stability versus change. Humans, we are all dynamic in many ways. Like what you said, one day you may feel fulfilled, and perhaps another day you won't. That's how life really is.

And actually... Maslow's hierarchy does not assume that we go up the hierarchy and remain there once needs are fulfilled. This is also a common misconception by many people. It's not the same as video games that require your character to level up and not go down forever. No such thing in real life! We will always (trust me, always!) fluctuate between the different levels of needs because there are things within and without our control as people. Major life changes and even losses in life (i.e., a loved one, material things, etc.) can make it difficult for us to make our needs met. On the other hand, like what I mentioned in the previous point, it may be also difficult for some to achieve their needs due to many barriers internally and externally. But, very rarely do people achieve all their needs in the hierarchy. That does not mean we should not try.

The idea behind Maslow's hierarchy is an invitation to look at ourselves as humanly as possible. That's why it was designed the way it is. So, to be honest, there really is no pressure for us to reach the top of the hierarchy as we journey through life. What this hierarchy gives us is a tool to how we can navigate our life -- but it's not without it's own limits, of course. If we find that some needs are not met, Maslow also believed that we have the potential to fulfill them ourselves. If anything, he actually puts a lot of faith that humans are capable of living their lives as problem-solvers and meaning-makers. But this requires continuous, active personal work, like what we do in therapy or when we change ourselves for the 'better' (whatever that looks like for you). Again, I'm only working with the info you gave me.

A question about "toxicity":

how do you define toxicity ba?

I don't know the context about where this came from. I have some guesses how this relates to the other two points you raised, but this really is a separate discussion altogether. Also, I do not know you personally enough to give any sound or specific answers to this.

I think simply put, anything we deem "unhealthy" to our wellbeing is what we consider "toxic." This may include unhealthy or unhelpful habits, thoughts, behaviors, relationships, and environments that we live with - among many other things.

So if I may ask back: What would you consider toxic or unhealthy? If you don't know what they are, then maybe pay attention to the things that you notice or guess to be threatening or negatively impactful to your wellbeing. Then ask yourself, is it still work keeping in your life? Or is it time to let it go or change it?

---

I hope these bits help you. Just a note: Maslow is just one of the MANY theories or ideas in psychology that people use nowadays to understand their lives. It is NOT the end-all-be-all of human behavior. There are other ways we can look at ourselves and understand ourselves deeper.

Again, this post is not to give any specific advice but just to unpack the very nuanced questions you raised. But, consider asking for professional help if you feel like it requires a much in-depth personal exploration. I recommend going to psychotherapy or talking to a psychologist.

Officially, I think that this is my longest answer thus far! Hahahaha!

Anyway, do take care! ✨

[psycholojosh]

Therapy Jukebox: 'What Was I Made For?' - Billie Eilish (#1)

I kinda promised my therapist that I would do something for self-care. There's a lot of things I can do, but the one that I found most resonant with my emotional journey is listening to music. I actually made a playlist on Spotify of songs that remind of or play in my mind when I'm in therapy.

I told myself I'll try to look for one song that I can connect the insights I picked up. And the first song comes from Billie Eilish's hit song from the Barbie (2023) movie.

In my first few sessions, I found myself weeping a lot over pains and joys that my therapist and I would talk about. I've gone through a lot of pains since 2022 that led me to a bit of soul-searching and healing. And nothing really communicated how I felt but this song.

I don't wanna get too nerdy but it did remind me of a form of therapy that I learned to love. It liked asking deep-seated questions about one's life and it often makes one feel very uncomfortable. And like what Billie sung, it was unsettling to be in a state of limbo about who you are and what you are made for. When life shakes the ground you're standing, you owe it to yourself to ask the fundamental question, "What was I made for?"

And this is why this remarkable song was the first in the playlist. I had a couple others on the first two sessions, but this highlights where I am in my journey.

Here's to remembering how to be happy. ❤️‍🩹

[psycholojosh]

Onward to the Next Career Step...

First day in the office vs. last day in the "office"

I'm leaving my company and moving onward to a next one...

In the last two years, I've worked for a mental health technology company as their psychometrician. It was an opportune opening for me as my contract for my previous job order was expiring and I didn't want to renew it. By December 2021, I was already applying for this position. Then, the next month, I was hired.

I was very wide-eyed when I started working in this mental health company which provided online psychotherapy to companies and individuals. I met and saw a lot of passionate, smart, and hardworking people. Sooner, a lot became my friends and cherished colleagues. I also appreciated how they valued my worth as a psychometrician. A lot of my teammates saw how much I was passionate and creative with what I do.

The first few months wasn't all easy, of course. I often struggled with understanding the technology side of things since I entered the company with minimal knowledge of developing tech systems. Although its development wasn't part of my job, I realized midway my onboarding process that my role as a psychometrician was to add the value of clinical psychometrics and the science behind our services.

Overall I think I did a good job. I sincerely think I was underpaid for the value I added in the company and the efforts we provided, but I had some passion to carry me through. But of course, passion does not always put food on the table, as they say. I was also mindful of what personal and financial needs I had over time and learned to have pushbacks.

At some point, things did change within the company - both in direction and culture - which really did impact how I decided to leave. I cannot really disclose here what other pressing reason I had to leave. But I can ultimately say this, that even as employees and non-business owners, we have to take care of ourselves first.

It wasn't a quick decision but something planned and reflected on over the months, vigilantly waiting for an opportune moment to make the exit. And I found mine over the holidays.

Last week, I went to our quasi-office-coworking-space upon request of my friend at work, Kath, our CEO's executive assistant. She wanted to see me and the others before I go. It was a bittersweet day enjoying the camaraderie in-person before leaving. We all had drinks at the end of the day and surely had a good time.

This week marks my last week in the company. I did not intend to go back to the office since spaces are limited and my presence is less needed. But I've been wrapping on my responsibilities and slowly letting go of the role. I'm nervous about what comes next, but I hope it brings more joy and safety into my life.

[psycholojosh]

"People who thrive in anxious perfectionism often rely on the illusion that they can and must be perfect. But anything that threatens that illusion is a threat to their ego."

This is what my therapist pointed out to me in my last session with her. Growing up, I've always perceived myself as a go-getter and achiever. Perhaps I was partially a people-pleaser too. But I realized that I grew up in environments that intentionally and unintentionally molded my self-concept into something that's flawless and unmistakable. The thing is, even if I didn't have perfectionistic parents, it was this subtle feedback loop of them wanting me to succeed, then me succeeding, then them wanting me to succeed more, and me wanting to succeed more and so on. And the more I do not meet (or perceive not to meet) such expectations, the more anxious and negativistic I become. She told me that this was the cycle of anxious perfectionism - which is somewhat common among people living with ADHD.

My therapist invited me to embrace failure, imperfection, and all the bad stuff I don't like about myself.

I told her this was a scary thing to do, but I understand the value underneath it all that could help me grow and heal. I just told her first that I will have to grieve a life that I thought was authentic, real, and mine. But, I also feel hopeful for a more authentic and real life as I journey through this with my therapy.

Therapy is scary and uncomfortable. But no one ever grows in the comfort of their own homes.

[psycholojosh]

I'm back in therapy....

Since the start of the new year, I've re-enrolled in psychotherapy once again. It's long overdue, in fact.

In May 2023, I got myself evaluated by a psychiatrist (who was comprehensive in his evaluation, unlike some) and got diagnosed with ADHD. (This can be for another story/post.) After that, I got myself started with medications. I take Ritalin (10mg/tab) as needed, so I only take it during work-heavy days or when I have scheduled clients for psychotherapy or assessments.

It's been helpful. But the timing of my diagnosis came with some unfortunate experiences and hardships in life (but some awesome and heartwarming ones too) plus a recently concluded therapy cycle from my previous therapist. When I would tell loved ones and peers about my diagnosis, they kept asking me, "So, kumusta ka after discovering that?", and I usually replied saying that I was okay. Spoiler alert: I apparently wasn't - and it was hard to recognize that early on.

Eventually, one challenge came after another and I just found myself in dark places mentally and emotionally. I took it upon myself to seek advice from people I trust and respect. My (proxy) program adviser, Doc Div, gave the most impactful one. (Again, could be another story.) She told me that my struggles, existential questions, and emotions are valid, and that I also owe it to myself to take care of me. And so I did.

Doc Div advised me not to return to my previous therapist (she/her) because, as the latter's supervisor, she didn't think that she could journey with me about these problems I had. So through the help of a colleague from work, I found a new one who he thought could help and I would resonate with well enough.

My new therapist's name is Teddi. She's based in the US but is a Filipina and a co-founder of a clinic in Metro Manila. We have online sessions. On the first session earlier this month, we immediately clicked (professionally, of course). And she immediately made me tear up and make me feel emotionally safe. And she actually understood me right away and already planted some seeds of insight to cultivate.

We just had our second session last night. I'm tempted to talk about it in-depth right now, but I think that would warrant whole other story. (Hahaha!) But, let's just say that this second session made me cry sad and hopeful tears. I felt like there's hope for me after all, and that even if the pathway to growing is painful and scary, I don't feel so alone.

For now, I wanna reflect on things she and I talked about. But, I wanted to share this here because maybe it could find someone who is struggling - maybe not in the same way - to seek help when they can.

Here's to growing... ❤️‍🩹

[psycholojosh]

Hello po, I am currently a student majoring in a field that has little to no overlaps with psychology (I am currently in an IT-related program and I am planning to take an MS in Computer Science). So here’s the thing: I want to pursue a Ph.D. in Psychology sometime after getting a career in data science because I want to do social computing. Would you advise this or, rather, would I even be granted admission given that I have a very different academic background? Thank you po!

Hey there! 👋🏽 I'm not the best person to ask about the relevance of social computing in the field of psychology, but I can imagine there are avenues that psychology touches on it. My guess is Social Psychology, Personality Psychology, and Cyberpsychology are the subfields that would be interested in this.

However, I think I can speak to how grad school applications work. The keyword I would use is "alignment." How aligned are your past OR current experiences (doesn't have to be both) with the field you want to get into? Regardless if you came from a different background both academically and experientially, anybody can be accepted into a graduate school of their choice. But your chances of admission become higher when you show both interest and sense of direction with what you'll do with your postgraduate degrees. This can be seen through the application requirements (i.e., application essays, letter of intent, interview, etc.).

So, it might be very helpful for you to look at your experiences and check in with what I mentioned. If you think that it's not quite enough yet (or even if you have zero experiences), then I recommend taking steps to make it more aligned to be more likely to get in.

I hope this helps! Good luck! 😊

[psycholojosh]

I haven't really made a life update here so... what a way to do one.

Everyone, meet my loving partner! 🧑🏽‍❤️‍🧑🏽🤭🏳️‍🌈

[psycholojosh]

It was my first time in Cinema '76 last night. I went with my closest friends from grad school. We watched Past Lives (2022) and it was pretty okay. The characters, plot, and setting was nothing pretentions and very relatable. I'd say it's a very light watch for those who are going through a lot of "what-ifs" especially in their relationships.

[psycholojosh]

I think this has been the best my body has ever felt.

Still not at the goal that I want, but I've been liking my progress even with a slow pace. I've been managing my self-expectations about reaching the body that I want because I have to accept that finishing my master's and doing jobs will take up the time. But I've always been purposeful about my fitness and health. I just have to keep this steady course.

[psycholojosh]

My day, in photos.

I walked around Eastwood in drenched shoes, just to see a dear friend.

[psycholojosh]

Oh! And also, what graduate programs are available for psych in UP? Thank you so much!

I'm guessing you're the same person in the previous question so... hello, again!?

Marami namang psychology programs available for MA and PhD in UPD. I think the best place to look for the answer is to browse through the information here: https://www.psych.upd.edu.ph/academics/graduate-program

That being said, I'm curious as to what track you're aiming. You may also want to start preparing for applications. Applicant selection usually around January to February every year, but applications open months prior, maybe around October.

Good luck! Don't hesitate to ask me questions -- grad school related or not.

[psycholojosh]

Hello! Just want to say I'm glad to have found your blog that's very up to date about the current setting of Psychology in the Philippines. I would like to ask, how did you juggle your time and energy between graduate school and day job? I'm currently considering taking further studies with my degree in psych as well, but I fear I may not be able to do both at the same time. Thank you!

Hi, anon! 😊

Hard question to answer sa totoo lang. Might even force me into writing a long-ass post about my career beginnings. But I don't want to do that right now. Haha! 😅

I'm still in the process of mastering balance and integrations between personal life, graduate school, and career/passions. So far, what I found super helpful was to learn my own limits and boundaries. And to communicate them honestly to others and, more importantly, to yourself. It's usually better to have a bigger sense of self-awareness and honesty.

I've always been a "yes" person before. I actually grabbed every (and I mean EVERY) opportunity I had, especially when I was fresh out of college. But over time, I learned that it shouldn't be the way to do it. I suffered quite a lot in terms of my wellbeing. Maniwala ka sa akin: It's not always worth it. Mapapagod ka lang din with little, if not no satisfaction at all.

So remember this: We honor our yeses when we say no. ✨

Basically, when we learn how to turn away things that are not important to us right now, we learn to be better on the things we actually committed to in the first place. And you'll actually embrace your limits and boundaries much more fully.

And you'll actually learn more about what you really really want in life when you practice this more and more. Easier said than done though, so don't feel pressured to do the same. Take it one chance at a time.

I'm glad that you find my blog posts helpful kahit na I just really blabber. But, I do want to commit to writing more psych-related content. Just busy with many things to sit down and write again. In the meantime, I hope this helps! 🥂

[psycholojosh]

Almost There!

Been wanting to write on my blog for quite some time now, but I haven't got the time because of practicum. Since September last year, I struggled fulfilling my psychotherapy hours in my master's clinical practicum because I couldn't let go of other commitments, such as my jobs. Being the only person who has to finance his own personal needs and ambitions, I made it a point to make ends meet no matter what -- without compromising *too* much of my wellbeing. But I learned that the hard way. Throughout the months, I struggled with juggling and switching between tasks because there was just so much. (And I'll write more on this in another blog entry.) But it took a toll on me.

So come January this year, I made it a point to rest and recalibrate until I could find my rhythm. And thankfully, I did. Around the end of March, I was able to restart my practicum journey and have been consistent ever since. I learned how to practice boundary and expectation setting -- even if I still suck at it. But, hey, that's progress, if I do say so myself.

By next month, I'll be hitting an important goal. I needed 200 hours of psychotherapy work. And currently... I'm at 190! I just need 10 more hours and I've done the bare minimum in this area. Then, I can switch into assessment practicum more intensely (but I've started this as well). But it's still gonna be a challenge, considering what I'm about to talk about next...

The other thing that I foresee as a challenge is... thesis season. It was hard to believe at first but I thought, "Oh shit. I'm so close to finishing this." And I sooner realized that I needed to prepare for it right away. You see, the ideal scenario for a graduate student is to think about thesis development even before the semester of it. In fact, we were all encouraged to think about it as early as our applications and our first semester!

I already had thesis topics I was passionate about. One of them (which I will not share here in full just yet) has something to do with LGBTQ+ mental health (of course, duh!). I took very brief periods of time throughout the last 5 years reading up on it, exploring it, and studying it. I wouldn't say I'm an expert just yet, but with every learning moment, I feel much more excited to see how I can turn it into a study. But two weeks back, I asked a colleague of mine about some advice with thesis preps. And he aired caution on me. "Start now," he said. And frantically, I did.

But I've been having a lot of questions in my mind recently. Is my topic acceptable by our department? What value do I add to the field? Can I finish this within my preferred timeline (a year, lol)? Am I being too ambitions or too simple? Is this the right time to start my thesis? What if I drop some commitments - quit my job? And how will I sustain myself financially if I do leave work behind? What about my momentum - will I lose it? I didn't realize that there were so many things to consider beyond what the process of graduate thesis goes. And I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I'm honestly not sure how to deal with it, nor do I have the answers to my questions -- at least clear ones anyway. But, I'm trusting my gut in this one (as I've always done since I tasted life after college). I feel like I can always pivot on something and make things meet. I'm just worried about what comes next -- and if it's something I don't prefer to happen.

But for now, I'm radically accepting that this is my situation. And pondering about it for too long may not give me my answers. I figured I might as well lean into it and see how I can make things work.

Nearly there. Almost there.