pulchra-potens

[pulchra-potens]

bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental

[pulchra-potens]

 I  almost didn't kiss you. Too nervous. Too afraid to meet your lips and find we don't fit. But then you leaned in and I forgot to breathe. Our lips met, and all my worries felt silly. No puzzle pieces have ever fit together so perfectly and I have never wanted forever to be like then. You were my first kiss and I hope, for the sake of my sanity, you to be my last.

[pulchra-potens]

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

[pulchra-potens]

You said I must have been a siren in my past life. The one whispering to the broken souls, reminding them that they are still alive. me? a siren? then you...You must have been the human  I fell in love with. The one soul I broke the rules for. The one I yearned for , even when I couldn't  have you. and the one..i let go, painfully so, cause i was the danger. And you were better with me loving you from afar.

[pulchra-potens]

The moment i free myself,

i will fly away and never ever look back.

that's what i want.

but i do know for a fact that i will look back.

i will fly back, forgiving and kind as always,

and let them in.

I wish i wouldn't though.

But i know i would.

Cause i am kind. pathetically so.

and i hate it. to the core.

[pulchra-potens]

Mise En Place

I cut myself at work today I didn’t even notice until there was blood on the floor And when I looked to see the wound I found myself not able to look away Remnants of a dead version of me was smiling As I watched the red create rivers and streams

My coworker snapped her fingers in my face And I was jerked back from the thoughts I was having The cold water stung as I rinsed it out wrapping it tight in paper towels to stop the bleeding so I don’t waste a band-aid We have to watch costs at all cost

The first aid kit is almost empty And I can’t say I’m really all that surprised But I was lucky enough to found what I was looking for and put everything back in it’s place the blood is gone and the wound is sealed and yet it still stings to the touch of air

hurry up, there’s a job to be done and as the chaos ramps up and we’re shouting calls and callbacks both in our stations both just begging to survive a Wisconsin fish fry service and I keep looking back at my finger hidden behind a black vitrile glove

everything in it’s place

[pulchra-potens]

Mise En Place

I cut myself at work today I didn’t even notice until there was blood on the floor And when I looked to see the wound I found myself not able to look away Remnants of a dead version of me was smiling As I watched the red create rivers and streams

My coworker snapped her fingers in my face And I was jerked back from the thoughts I was having The cold water stung as I rinsed it out wrapping it tight in paper towels to stop the bleeding so I don’t waste a band-aid We have to watch costs at all cost

The first aid kit is almost empty And I can’t say I’m really all that surprised But I was lucky enough to found what I was looking for and put everything back in it’s place the blood is gone and the wound is sealed and yet it still stings to the touch of air

hurry up, there’s a job to be done and as the chaos ramps up and we’re shouting calls and callbacks both in our stations both just begging to survive a Wisconsin fish fry service and I keep looking back at my finger hidden behind a black vitrile glove

everything in it’s place

[pulchra-potens]

Like a weighted blanket.

Its comforting,

But I have claustrophobia,

Not fully,

Just enough to want to escape.

[pulchra-potens]

this is a safe space for beautiful brown eyed insane women

[pulchra-potens]

[pulchra-potens]

To all my people,

Run to me when the world gets mean to you, okay?

[pulchra-potens]

I haven't healed yet,

but I no longer bleed from those wounds.

That's a victory, right?

[pulchra-potens]

The Dreams of My Childhood

When I was a kid, I had tons of dreams

I was going to go to space I was going to be an astronaut I learned the constellations and the stations of the moon I watched mesmerized at videos of shuttle launches and I'd jump and cheer at the eventual splashdown I'd watch the stars at night so I guess some things just never change But when I couldn't figure out how to use a telescope I gave up on it all, as if it never existed

I was going to be a rockstar some day

I'd learn every cassette and CD that found it's way to me Even the one's I disliked Singing along to Alan Jackson Elvis Presley and Motley Crue I was going to learn to play guitar And I find myself still saying those words because some things just don't change But I never has the actual ambition or that little bit of starter talent And I never liked to be in the spotlight So when things got a little hard, I just got off

I was going to be author I was going to write a story that was beloved I was going to write of love and emotions and all the things that make up a good person and all those that create the villain but I never finish what I've started and I'm writing cryptic messages in badly written poetry A vomiting of my sub-conscience all over the sidewalk outside your old apartment door I write for this to spill my guts to let strangers judge me Some dreams, they just never change

[pulchra-potens]

Am i not family, mom ?

Why do i always feel like i am an outsider in my own home ?

Why do you assume i dont need that love ?

Why do you assume i dont need to be protected ?

Why do you insist on making me stronger ?

It hurts to watch.

To watch my family from afar.

[pulchra-potens]

How fucked up are you ?

So much that i ask ai if what i went through was enough to be this tramatized.

[pulchra-potens]

What do I aspire to be ?

A walking contradiction.

[pulchra-potens]

how to write a love poem

gut yourself like a fish.

stare at your organs.

describe the pretty colors.

use a metaphor.