queertransdreams

[queertransdreams]

Wow, I can relate to some of what you say, being transgender, being overweight, having/fighting/enabling an eating disorder, having a mother who body shamed herself and me for looking like her.

It sucks. I can't imagine what living with chronic pain is like :( Hope you're OK

I’ve got to be honest:

I have sat down to write this very blog post at least once a day for the last month and I have failed every time. Some people know exactly what they want to say, some only have a vague idea, and then there are others who roll the dice and shoot by the seat of their pants. I am, clearly, in the latter category. So, we’re going to roll and see where it takes us.

The whole reason I wanted to start this blog is because there are so many weight loss and fitness bloggers who drop you into where they are now and no real idea of where the struggle was. Sure, maybe they’ve got a paragraph or two here and there but there’s no journey– you’re left to guess if it actually was a struggle or if they really were that overweight at all. Then there are things and places entirely unique to some minorities– in my case, I’m not only overweight but I’m transgender and trying desperately to get into some semblance of a shape I not only recognize but am happy for. This isn’t to bash on Healthy At Every Size and if you’re quite comfortable in your weight I am so very thrilled for you.

I, however, cannot be.

I’ve struggled with eating disorders since I was a small child (thanks, ma!) and continue to do so. It’s made worse by the dysphoria in the mirror because my current body shape vaguely resembles my mama and, well. I’ll let you guess how that settles in the old brain.

I have a handful of mental illness– depression and anxiety, at the top of that list. I am a chronic pain sufferer. These also serve to complicate this whole mess of trying to better myself. But, I need you to know that I have no delusions that exercise is a cure to a goddamn thing. Will it make some things feel better? Absolutely. Will it make the depression go away? Not at all likely.

And I will never, ever tell you they will.

If you’re coming along this with me, I will be nothing but real with you about all of these things (and more). It might get ugly and I won’t blame you for skipping out on those parts. But, I’m hoping the end result is going to be something that you can find some kind of hope and recognition in. We’re in it together, through thick and thin.

Now Playing: Runnin’ Down A  Dream, Tom Petty

[queertransdreams]

i wish i could just cut the fat off....

[queertransdreams]

[queertransdreams]

nothing can stop me from looking like this

[queertransdreams]

Arhant photographed by David Cash in Paris

2019

See more at www.davidcash.ca

[queertransdreams]

god is a woman.

[queertransdreams]

[queertransdreams]

Gamaliel x Pinet

[queertransdreams]

[queertransdreams]

[queertransdreams]

I need this...

[queertransdreams]

Me a self aware bitch

Will being skinny solve all of my problems:

No

Will I act like it will because I'm not willing to face my actual problems:

YES

[queertransdreams]

🌊 Sora Choi thinspo part 2 🌊

[queertransdreams]

[queertransdreams]

Badly in need of a haircut

[queertransdreams]

Testosterone saved my fucking life.

[queertransdreams]