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i wish i was a caterpillar so i can go into a cocoon and when i get out im all beautiful

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“When I describe Dazai to the staff, there is a phrase that I always use, “an unworldly being with a mental age of two thousand years.” Dazai has far surpassed the mental dimension that human can reach, thus no-one can even tell if the emotions he shows are the real things or not.

There are rare moments when that Dazai shows his very “human” side. That is when he talks to another superhuman who is on the same level with him. The other is when he talks about his old friend who has passed.

This is the scene when Kyouka wondered “Maybe I’m, after all, just a murderer at heart.” and refused to be saved. And Dazai’s reaction to that. When he said “Don’t give me any of that!” here, he really meant it. That was an outburst from Dazai, as a 22-year-old boy, in this scene.”

(Bungou Stray Dogs Chapter 35 - Easygoingscan’s version)

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TN: I went to the BSD exhibition in Ikebukuro today and they have Asagiri’s comments on each character and their important scene, that I find very nice so I’m gonna find time to translate them little by little.

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The genius writing of Akutagawa and Dazai's relationship.

Dazai and Akutagawa's relatuionship is incredibly interesting and is essential to the story as a whole.

Here I want to talk about how we see Dazai’s careful manipulation of Akutagawa at the start of BSD and what his motivations are for doing it.

In Dazai's entrance exam we see how Akutagawa is still pursuing Dazai even after 2 years. But he is going after him more for revenge, he has clearly become more independent but still desperately wants to find Dazai and hopefully understand why he was left behind.

Akutagawa sternly watches the agent go. “Wait. I’d like to ask you something.” The agent stops in his tracks. “I’m looking for someone. He has the ability to nullify others’ skills upon contact. Know anybody like that?” “Sorry, afraid not.” “Then get out of my sight.” “You got it.” He begins to walk again before disappearing into the darkness of the evening twilight. “…Where did you go? Why did you suddenly disappear?” Akutagawa soliloquizes, alone on the street. “For a moment, I thought you might have been the Azure King, but I was wrong. Where are you? There’s no way you’re dead. You are somewhere here in Yokohama. I just know it.” The winds of the night collect his words and carry them away. “I’ll find my mentor if it’s the last thing I do. I’ll find you, former Port Mafia executive Dazai.”

By the time the manga really starts we see that Akutagawa's attitude towards Dazai has changed a lot.

This is his first time seeing Dazai in years and he is able to keep his cool and brush it off. He is even confident enough to threaten Dazai when we know Akutagawa before this and even later in the series would never.

Dazai taunts Akutagawa here, poking at the old insecurity’s and letting him know Dazai is still not impressed with what he's achieved. you can see from his reaction Aku is affected and shows that even though he's acting tough, he hasn't really escaped his past.

This is where the mind games begin.

Look at Akutagawa's face when he enters ,you can see that he is really nervous about confronting Dazai here, and Dazai pointedly ingoring him like he's nothing when he tries to intimidate him really just emphisises that Dazai doesn't see him as a threat.

Akutagawa tries so hard to be in control here, Dazai is chained up, sententenced to death, has no friends or allies there to help him while Akutagawa has the whole mafia at his back. But still its clear that Dazai is 100% in control of the situation.

Akutagawa hitting Dazai, threatening to kill him, saying how he is no threat, we would never see him do this kind of thing later in the series. Dazai here very carefully brings him right back to the state he was in before he left.

Dazai bringing out every old insecurity, dismissing everything Akutagawa strived to achieve and the strength he uses to justify his existance. We see Akutagawa trying to justify why he doesn't need Dazais approval, how he's a traitor and doomed to die anyway, but Dazai just talks about how disapointing and pathetic Akutagawa was as a student and for Akutagawa who's ability and talent are what he values most thats a deep wound. Akutagawa is trying so hard to control the present but the fact that Dazai's words affect him so much shows that he is still very much trapped by the past.

An important note is that we know for a fact this is Dazai lying. He says multiple times in the Dark Era that he sees huge potential in Akutagawa and that he thinks he could be the strongest ability user in the port mafia. All of this is Dazai deliberately getting under Aku's skin, breaking down the confidence he built in the years after Dazai left.

But what Dazai said that cut the deepest was comparing him to Atsushi.

The fact that Dazai had taken on another pupil after him, and that he said he was better means that Akutagawa was just weak. And we see how after this Akutagawa developes his hatred of Atsushi since to him Atsushi is everything he despises but some he won Dazai's approval.

Akutagawa is brought right back to how Dazai used to train him, the hell he went through to earn Dazai's acceptence, and somehow this random weak coward gets everything he ever wanted dispite everything he did to earn it.

By the Guild arc we see that Akutagawa is now completely motivated by Dazai again. This is also important because he is a lot less cocky here, it's clear that losing to Atsushi really has pushed him to start fighting with everything he has.

On Mobi Dick we see that Akutagawa has completely abandoned the mafias orders and is solely focused on killing Atsushi.

We also see just how much Akutagawa's attitude has changed from when he met Dazai in the prison, here even just the chance to talk to Dazai makes him throw everything else away. He's desprate and confused and needs to know why Dazai would choose Atsushi over him.

Then, Akutagawa learns a bit of Atsushi's past.

This is it, I think that here (even though he would never admit it) Akutagawa kind of realises that him and Atsushi want exactly the same thing, but to Akutagawa approval has to come from Dazai while for Atsushi even he doesn't know how or when it will be enough.

Atsushi thinks his life has no value unless he saves others, Akutagawa thinks his has no value unless he kills others. Both are wrong and both need to learn that from the other.

(Atsushi and Akutagawa's dynamic is also incredibly well done and will probably get an analysis of its own but this one is too long already)

Now I want to talk about why Dazai did this, why he dragged Akutagawa back to this state even after he has seemingly moved on. I don't think it was just to control him (though thats probably part of it), I think it was because he knew that the only person who could save Akutagawa was Atsushi.

Very important point: Dazai was not the one who made Akutagawa think his life had no value, or the reason he was so eager to kill. Both of these are part of Akutagawa long before he meets Dazai. We see in The Heartless Cur that Akutagawa was already very quick to kill and had no will or reason to live.

In the Dark Era Dazai tells Oda that he wants Akutagawa to learn to temper his rage and not always jump to killing.

“That skill user Akutagawa was one of your subordinates, right?” I said, tracing my memory. “I heard he had a rather aggressive skill…but even he’s no match for them?” “Akutagawa—he’s like a sword without a sheath.” Dazai grinned from ear to ear. “He’ll surely become the Mafia’s strongest skill user in the notso-distant future, but for now he needs someone who can teach him how to put that sword away.” I was surprised. I had never heard Dazai openly speak so highly of one of his men like that before. “Is he really that talented?” “When I first saw him over in the slums, I was horrified. His talents are extraordinary, and his skill is extremely destructive. Plus, he’s stubborn. If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.” Dazai didn’t freely make people work under him, period; much less a boy on the verge of starvation in the slums. But Dazai seemed to have his own reasons for doing it.

Notice how Dazai says he needs "someone" to teach him to sheath his sword, not that "he" can/will teach him.

Dazai seemingly regressing Akutagawa back to being 100% dependent on his approval was because Akutagawa never really escaped it. He was still just an attack dog who killed indescriminatly and whose self worth was tied entirely to his role in the mafia. If Dazai had just left him alone he probably would have ended up destroying himself just like Dazai predicted. But when Dazai met Atsushi he knew he had found a way to save Akutagawa too.

This is not me (or Asagiri) trying to justify Dazai's abuse of Akutagawa. Dazai himself says about Atsushi's headmaster that the methods he used were horrific and unforgivable, but that doesn't mean they didn't shape who Atsushi is now.

In the mafia Dazai wouldn't have cared about how he "saved" akutagawa, he says it to Akutagawa himself.

He immediately pointed the gun at Akutagawa, who was still on the ground. “I have this friend who’s supporting several orphans all on his own, you see,” he continued, his weapon still drawn and aimed at the boy. “Akutagawa, I’m sure Odasaku would’ve been patient enough to give you the guidance you needed had he been the one who’d found you on the brink of starvation in the slums. That would have been the ‘right’ thing to do. But ‘righteousness’ doesn’t take very kindly to me. And there’s only one thing people like me do to useless subordinates.” Dazai mercilessly pulled the trigger the moment he finished his sentence.

We even see this play out in BEAST, Oda and the ADA are able to really help Akutagawa and teach him the value of life both his own and other peoples, what Dazai did wasn't nessacary or justified. But it is what happened and can't be changed.

Obviously Dazai was also struggling with horrific things of his own, but that doesn't change or excuse what he did. Everything he put Akutagawa through left a mark, so to undo that damage and let him move on he needed to make him and Atsushi truly understand eachother by breaking down the walls Akutagawa had put up.

In the end this isn't a moral exploration, good and bad in general have very blurry meanings in bsd (and in real life). I just wanted to deconstruct this since it's such incredible writing that I almost never see talked about. And it's extrememly important for understanding the latest chapters.

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🐰 +🐯

I drew a random Atsushi and Kyouka siblings au because i can already tell the next chapter is gonna be heartbreaking 💔💔

Also i just wanted to draw the sillies lmao

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bsd readlist :3

basically what I have read and what I'm planned to read soon about bsd

‧˚/ᐠ - ˕ -マᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ☆‧˚

BUNGO STRAY DOGS

(honorable mentions: the bsd anime & the stage plays)

have read

- the whole main manga (planning to reread)

- the fifteen LN

- dazai's entrance exam

- the dark era

- untold stories of the agency (both stories in the book)

- the heartless cur

- the day I picked up dazai (side A & B)

- beast

- stormbringer

- 55 minutes

- dead apple

- most of WAN!

haven't read(yet >:3)

- gaiden (another story)

^ I have read some of it but haven't finished it yet

- the fifteen manga

^ I haven't finished it yet っ ̯ -｡

- kunikida and katai's brilliant days

^ I wanted to read it for SOOO long 💔

- bungo stray dogs: gakuen

^ it's the last thing on my reading list 😓

I'm gonna read all the authors books after that (the ones I haven't read already (I might have missed some)

planning to back to reading now, or go to bed

"(っ- ‸ - ς)ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

[ @sparklypinkcake & @glittershitter36 ]

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Thinking about how in the anime Atsushi was perfectly unimpressed by spooky, horror settings that had even Kunikida feeling uneasy. Now I can't help but picture the scenario of Atsushi/Akutagawa movie nights where they pick a horror movie, but it's just both of them watching it with a straight face for the whole duration of the movie 😭😭😭

Atsushi drops the occasional “gross” with a perfectly monotonous and uneffected tone. A couple of times Akutagawa comments “Bodies don't do that when they get slashed. I would know.” Atsushi going “we used to have a similar torture chamber at the orphanage.”

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He's always looking so fucking good in Akutagawa's pov, he doesn't deserve it, the fucker.

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i do appriciate that the actual recurring evil is always politicians, so true and real bestie especially during this pride month

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Poor little thing😔

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intro i guess! LOL!

ft: @sparklypinkcake n @rainviie

okay so here r sum stuff im into rn...

anime: bsd, madoka magica, jjk, precure and watching some other ones....

games: ddlc, danganronpa, genshin impact, pjsk, love angel syndrome and prob more i cant think of!!!!!!

kpop: txt is my ult rn....otherwise i like enhypen too and still getting into more groups!!!!

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bsd transfer theory

regarding this theory,

I wholeheartedly believe Mori is going to pick dazai, It doesn't make any sense on why he would pick anyone else. he has asked him MULTIPLE times to join back and Mori said he believed dazai would become the boss at the age of 23 after slicing his throat AND that was while he was planning to push him out of the mafia (plus multiple other reasons)

if you say "well Mori specifically made sure dazai would leave the mafia with the whole mimic thing cause he was afraid of him" yes correct, but you're missing the point of Mori's whole character. Mori puts his job (aka the mafia) over everything, even himself. when he "kicked" dazai out cause he threatened his time on the throne, he was genuinely sad when he had to do so. he liked having dazai around and said "things will be much more boring from now on" at the end of the Dark era LN.

so he sacrificed dazai for the mafia, dazai someone who has a very complicated relationship with Mori but it's very obvious that Mori at least cares about dazai. (Dazai was also a very important member of the mafia, being an executive and the right hand man of Mori, also the whole reason the mafia was in its golden era. Mori also specifically stated in the guild arc that if Dazai was in the mafia still, everything would already be over. Dazai is also the only reason that the mafia x Ada alliance is even a thing) so obviously he wouldn't care if he could die at the end of the deal because he picked dazai, he's ready to sacrifice anything for his job, even his own life.

Mori even keeps walking about how he's a slave from the mafia just as much as everyone else. (In BEAST Mori left the mafia and put himself and others wellbeing before his job, like a doctor would do. honestly I'm genuinely curious on why he became a doctor in the first place.. and somehow ended up being a mafia boss, but thats for another time) so if it means from the betterment of the organization Mori would 100% pick dazai. (and I honestly don't think dazai will kill mori anyway.. he never wanted the throne so why kill Mori and automatically be on the throne.. he only reason he was the pm boss in BEAST is because Mori left. no one knew where he went so they(the mafia members) would obviously think dazai killed him and that's why chuuya is his bodyguard, so I really dont see that theory either)

if you think "well what about tanizaki, it was stated he could be useful in the mafia and he also volunteered too join instead of Yosano as they suspected would happen" (since Mori lied and said Fukuzawa said he could take Yosano even though it was specifically stated he couldnt) well first of all. I think you're an idiot! well that's rude of me, I think you have no reading comprehension. every single time that was stated it was NOT Mori or even an executive. (I'm pretty sure Mori hasn't even acknowledged his existence) the first time it was mentioned was when HIROTSU said it, someone who has 0 say in the matter. the second time it was Tanizaki HIMSELF who said it. I think its so you can think "oh maybe he really will pick tankzaki" but I literally can't see it. during the virus arc, tanizaki willingly put himself in danger for the ADA, became a hostage because of that AND tried to assassinate Mori, FOR THE ADA. what makes you think he wouldn't do that again? why would Mori pick someone who would willing too kill him without a second thought for the ADA? it doesn't make sense. sure, Mori suspected dazai was going to kill him but I don't think he actually would, and even if he did he would think it is best for the PM to have dazai in the organization, he did bring it into its golden ages after all. (Mori has literally been scared of dazai since the start of the 15 LN when dazai was explaining why killing dazai would be the smartest decision. the literal reason he's afraid of him is because he(dazai) reminds him to much of himself)

anyway that was just my little annoyed rant.. I get way to passionate with everything bungo stray dogs related ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)

[ @pixeledde & @sparklypinkcake ]

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intro i guess! LOL!

ft: @sparklypinkcake n @rainviie

okay so here r sum stuff im into rn...

anime: bsd, madoka magica, jjk, precure and watching some other ones....

games: ddlc, danganronpa, genshin impact, pjsk, love angel syndrome and prob more i cant think of!!!!!!

kpop: txt is my ult rn....otherwise i like enhypen too and still getting into more groups!!!!

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hai hai yawl x3

im lis n i will start posting on here along with @rainviie & @pixeledde ◟( ˘ ³˘)◞♡

some stuffz im into is ...

kpop !!! my ults r txt but i love sooo many groups ^_^

games !!! my favs rn r life is strange , ff7 , project sekai , bandori , d4dj , danganronpa , ddlc , genshin & many more ..!

anime !!! rn im very into k-on , madomagi , jjk , bsd , ouran , parakiss <3

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i found the piece dazai plays in 123.5!! (SPOILERS)

the piece is ‘pavane pour une infante défunte’ or ‘pavane for a dead princess’. amazing, right??

i was in the shower and was like ‘hmmm you’d need such big hands to play that piece’ and then remembered the hell of trying to learn pavane and had a eureka moment

proof beneath the cut!!

comparisons (using my sheet music):

then,

finally,

TADAAAAA

also fun fact:

this piece is used in bsd wan!’s soundtrack too!

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WOOO!!

yoyo rain here after 2 years! // we are bringing back tumbler.. trust guysss! // @pixeledde & @sparklypinkcake

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

anyway expect a lot of bsd posts in the future >:3

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Lowkey can't get over the fact that out of the two (2) times we ever saw Akutagawa cry in the manga (and frankly, probably the only two times he ever cried in his whole life) it was because of Dazai. Leave my boy alone‼‼‼

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Dazai vs. Dostoyevsky final face-off and it looks like this: