ramblingthoughtsblog

[ramblingthoughtsblog]

Younger self

When I was young I always had this feeling that I wasn't going to make it passed the age of 16 and I almost didn't. If I had known when I was 15 and sitting on the floor in my small bedroom, hand full of pills ready to take, that I would still be dealing with the same inner demons in my late 20's I probably wouldn't have let the universe stop me from taking those pills. I would have ignored that person that knocked on my door and continued on with my plan. I would be lying if I said I never wished that I succeeded that night. I don't necessarily want to die anymore but there are some days that I think it would be a lot easier if I had died that night...

[ramblingthoughtsblog]

I don't know if anyone but me will ever take the time to read these posts but I just wanted (needed) a space other than my ratty notebook I call a diary to put my thoughts into words. It's crazy how typing a post out about what's going through your head and posting it for the eyes of the internet to see feels safer than writing your feelings out in a well hidden book. Just in case anyone does take the time to read my posts I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes as most of these posts will more than likely be written through tears as I try to process my thoughts and feelings, which is easier said than done! I hope in the future I look back at these posts and can see the progress that I have made on my healing journey but for now here's to Day One.