chaosclover1999

[chaosclover1999]

usually i wouldn't reblog this but this is honestly hilarious, this has 2 b parody right?

like the cringe anime emoticons

the unironically using the word "baka"

the unironically calling urself "terf-chan"

telling me 2 "try being a girl for five minutes" even tho im a trans guy and had 2 live as a girl for 21 years so i do actually know what its like at that it's honestly not that bad

acting like me being a gay black trans boy makes me the oppressor

ngl this gave me a good laugh, so like if this is parody good job ig???

made the mistake of going on tiktok 2day

unfriendly reminder that "all men r trash" rhetoric helps literally no1 and saying that "men who r not trash don't give a shit when u say men r trash" is such a fucking cisgender take

acting like men r all trash, which lets b real when most ppl say that what they r saying is that they think all men r predators, only gives men who r predatory an excuse while putting men who r not predatory in danger and even more so putting all trans ppl in general in danger but especially any trans ppl who r seen as being men in some way

it gives predatory men an excuse bc they can say its not their fault bc "thats just how men r"

it puts men who r not predatory in danger bc of all of their actions being perceived as having a predatory motivation, this makes it harder 4 men 2 not b on guard all the time, single fathers or male teachers r often perceived as being pedos simply 4 being a man in the proximity of a child, there r multiple videos of men just simply complimenting a woman on her outfit and the woman assumes that the man is trying 2 flirt w her, 4 most men this makes conversations w women a bit of a minefield bc of constantly having 2 b on guard abt how their actions will b perceived and all the responsibility on making the conversation feel like a safe 1 is placed on the man, however when it comes 2 already heavily policed communities this can and does lead 2 real danger, the idea that men r all predatory actively contributes 2 the deaths of men of colour bc of our existence being perceived as an inherent threat

it puts trans women in danger bc of ppl pretending that trans women r just predatory men in dresses

it puts amab nonbinary ppl and masc presenting nonbinary ppl in danger 4 similar reasons it puts trans women in danger

it puts trans men in danger bc we're perceived then as transitioning in order 2 b predatory

it puts queer men in general in danger bc of us being perceived as preying on children

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills queer men

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills black men and other men of colour

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills trans men

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills trans women

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills nonbinary people

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively excuses the violent actions that the men who r violent engage in

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively buries the violent actions that the women who r violent engage in

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills men who r being abused by women

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively teaches young boys that they r less than and expected 2 act as such

its literally just terf rhetoric and if u make "all men r trash" statements or ""jokes"" unironically u r engaging in terf rhetoric and its unreasonable 2 expect men 2 not b upset by it when u r engaging in rhetoric that is causing us 2 hav trauma around what it means 2 b a man in society and how that puts us at risk bc of us being seen as inherently more predatory simply 4 our identity as men

[chaosclover1999]

made the mistake of going on tiktok 2day

unfriendly reminder that "all men r trash" rhetoric helps literally no1 and saying that "men who r not trash don't give a shit when u say men r trash" is such a fucking cisgender take

acting like men r all trash, which lets b real when most ppl say that what they r saying is that they think all men r predators, only gives men who r predatory an excuse while putting men who r not predatory in danger and even more so putting all trans ppl in general in danger but especially any trans ppl who r seen as being men in some way

it gives predatory men an excuse bc they can say its not their fault bc "thats just how men r"

it puts men who r not predatory in danger bc of all of their actions being perceived as having a predatory motivation, this makes it harder 4 men 2 not b on guard all the time, single fathers or male teachers r often perceived as being pedos simply 4 being a man in the proximity of a child, there r multiple videos of men just simply complimenting a woman on her outfit and the woman assumes that the man is trying 2 flirt w her, 4 most men this makes conversations w women a bit of a minefield bc of constantly having 2 b on guard abt how their actions will b perceived and all the responsibility on making the conversation feel like a safe 1 is placed on the man, however when it comes 2 already heavily policed communities this can and does lead 2 real danger, the idea that men r all predatory actively contributes 2 the deaths of men of colour bc of our existence being perceived as an inherent threat

it puts trans women in danger bc of ppl pretending that trans women r just predatory men in dresses

it puts amab nonbinary ppl and masc presenting nonbinary ppl in danger 4 similar reasons it puts trans women in danger

it puts trans men in danger bc we're perceived then as transitioning in order 2 b predatory

it puts queer men in general in danger bc of us being perceived as preying on children

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills queer men

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills black men and other men of colour

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills trans men

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills trans women

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills nonbinary people

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively excuses the violent actions that the men who r violent engage in

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively buries the violent actions that the women who r violent engage in

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively kills men who r being abused by women

"all men r trash" rhetoric actively teaches young boys that they r less than and expected 2 act as such

its literally just terf rhetoric and if u make "all men r trash" statements or ""jokes"" unironically u r engaging in terf rhetoric and its unreasonable 2 expect men 2 not b upset by it when u r engaging in rhetoric that is causing us 2 hav trauma around what it means 2 b a man in society and how that puts us at risk bc of us being seen as inherently more predatory simply 4 our identity as men

[chaosclover1999]

nah bc y tf is it pride month and the 1st thing im seeing on this hellsite is 3 posts being flagged 4 ""mature content"" when all of them r just regular sfw post abt queerness like it was 3 posts 1 after the other and 1 of them was abt the damn muppets

love loses on tumblr this time ig

june 2025 every1 wtf

[chaosclover1999]

we need 2 start treating the phrase "differently abled" like a slur and im so fucking serious

like okay, its a phrase that was invented by abled ppl 2 describe disabled ppl so bad start already

more importantly tho it's being used mostly 2 get disabled ppl 2 shut up abt our experiences, we're often told we're not allowed 2 call ourselves disabled bc of that being the same as putting ourselves down or having a negative attitude abt ourselves, 1st of all, wild that acknowledging disability is seen as talking bad abt some1 2 these ableds but also the lvl of aggression sometimes lvled at disabled ppl when we don't want 2 use the term "differently abled" 4 ourselves is so fucking weird and it rly just seems like abled ppl not wanting 2 acknowledge our disabilities bc it makes them uncomfortable bc then they would hav 2 think abt the fact that we live in a society that bases ppl's worth off their ability and there r some ppl who thru no fault of their own and not 4 lack of trying simply cannot meet that standard

it gives abled ppl more of an excuse 2 say we're "just not trying hard enough" if they think that we're just as abled as they r but in a different way which is essentially what the phrase "differently abled" means

it gives abled ppl an excuse 2 not think abt all the oppression that is inherent into the system of worth being seen as equal 2 ability bc we're "differently abled" instead of disabled

and 4 the argument that disabled ppl should b allowed 2 call themselves differently abled if they perfer that then yeh sure i agree but that's like me calling myself a fag because im a gay guy, like yeah i can do that and i can reclaim that but that doesn't make it less of a slur when say a random person on the street calls me it

i think the main reason ppl don't think of it as a slur when ableds use the phrase "differently abled" is that even when they insist on it they act like they're being nice, often co-opting therapy style language into them being pushy abt it

"i just don't want u thinking ur less than/describing them like that is making it seem like u think they r less than"

"it just makes u sound so down on urself and like ur not seeing ur own value"

ect

none of this actually means that they r being nice or that they actually see disabled ppl as ppl or w the same respect they would treat an abled person, imo it proves that they don't respect us bc they hav 2 pretend that we're not disabled and hav some secret value we're hiding from ppl in order 4 them 2 c us as ppl

speaking of which it's a narrative that plays very heavily into the idea that most disabled ppl r "faking their disabilities" or that we all hav "learned helplessness" aka excuses that abled ppl use 2 not give accommodations that we need

while the phrase "differently abled" imo doesn't directly imply that some1 thinks im faking a disability it does imply that some1 thinks im more abled than im saying that i am just in other areas, it's the same bs logic that means that every wheelchair user in media has 2 b portrayed as some sort of genius, from my experience when i was a wheelchair user it did not in fact make me smarter, i was just bored as fuck because of the lack of spaces i could navigate meaning i didn't really do much because of lack of accommodations

idk i just think that given the implications the phrase carries that "we can do more than it seems" ect and how that idea is used repeatedly 2 deny us accommodation and even medical care in favour of ppl telling us 2 just "try harder" and that "they believe *in* us" despite not believing us, i think it's a phrase that should b met w immediate disgust and pointing out how harmful a phrase it is when an abled person starts insisting on using it 4 a group they r not a part of, on a similar note while yes disabled ppl can use the phrase "differently abled" 4 themselves if they want 2 that doesn't give them the right 2 push the phrase onto other disabled ppl and insist that the rest of us hav 2 start using it 4 ourselves as well

i feel like given the harm the phrase does 2 our marginalised community w the implications it carries the phrase "differently abled" should b treated as more offensive than ppl seem 2 b treating it currently

tl;dr

disabled is not a bad word, "differently abled" implies we should b hidden from the public and so should any oppression that we face

[chaosclover1999]

able bodied allies when ur not actually "just like them"

able bodied allies of disabled people when your disability genuinely has no secret upside and makes you useless to a late stage capitalist society

[chaosclover1999]

okay yeh this is what did it 4 me, i need a break

just 2 b clear this post is not the problem it's the attitude op is complaining abt that is the problem, this website is no longer safe 4 me as a transmasc and i gotta just accept that, i can't delete this blog bc it's technically my main blog but im probably gonna basically b inactive, probably on most of my blogs, mayb w the occasional vent post on my sideblog i use 2 get my feelings out in a safe way but, im probably gonna just not look at the replies or im gonna figure out how 2 turn them off, might upload arts and crafts kinda stuff im proud of on my other side blog but idk

i keep getting harassed on this website 4 talking abt the issues that i face as a transman and as a queer man in general, i keep getting harassed 4 speaking up abt how wrong it is 2 act like men r all poison simply 4 being men

if some1 irl tried 2 tell me that being raped repeatedly and used as breeding livestock was a "privilege" i had over transwomen as a transman i would punch that person in the face and im legit not a violent person but as some1 who has experienced sexual abuse i fucking can't w this shit

tumblr isn't a safe space 4 me as a queer transman of colour and this is making that so clear, i quit, this is bad 4 my mental health and im not gonna keep doing this 2 myself, gonna try 2 b way less active on this website from now on w the goal in mind of slowly weaning myself off of it and eventually leaving 4 good, im trying 2 cut things out of my life that r harmful 4 me and rn this is harmful 4 me

So. Y’all.

These posts about how trans men’s fears about being treated like breeding stock with forced pregnancy and breastfeeding is aCtuAlLy privilege because trans women can’t give birth? And if trans men talk about ‘throwing away’ the ability to make babies it’s really just trans men ‘rubbing’ having this particular set of reproductive organs in trans women’s faces?

I need you to take several fucking seats and even more fucking minutes to reevaluate yourselves.

1: Forced pregnancy is not a fucking privilege and, for some of us, could be debilitating or a potential death sentence.

I’m a disabled trans man and due to some medical issues, I’ve been told since I was a pre-teen that I cannot ever have a ‘natural’ birth. It would destroy my already fucked up body and put me back into a wheelchair and through several more surgeries, all of which are ill advised because, and this brings us to another issue…

“JuSt hAvE a C-seCtiOn.”

Well bozos, being allergic to a wealth of medications including ANESTHETIC DRUGS kind of makes that super dangerous for me. I’ve had a total of three major surgeries in my life and each one resulted in complications because of the anesthesia, and my surgeons all said ‘avoid needing surgery if you can’. Even localized anesthetic is out. (Which is why I’m also one of those non-passing trans men y’all love to claim doesn’t exist! Try getting a doctor to sign off on top surgery when you’re a known liability! Oh yes, that must be part of my mythical male privilege too!)

I’m not the only trans man in the world with medical issues that make pregnancy dangerous. So check your ignorance and your ableism. And none of this even takes the most basic issue into account.

2: Let’s call ‘forced pregnancy’ what it really is. It’s rape. Some of you are expecting us to accept rape as a ‘privilege’. Some of you are even cheering for it.

If I have to explain why that’s a problem? Yeah, no, I’m not wasting my time at that point on you.

[chaosclover1999]

omg y r ppl so fukin weird abt modesty wear?

like omfg, i get it we live in a culture that slut shames ppl and ppl shouldn't b shamed 4 showing skin WHEN THEY WANT 2 i agree!

but also no1 should b shamed INTO showing skin either

it should always b the choice of the individual how much skin they personally feel comfortable showing, i think the society we live in is rly bad 4 that tbh, like there's this weird double standard of like ppl slut shaming others 4 showing skin but then also shaming ppl who dress modestly and implying that ppl who don't show as much skin r somehow less free than others, idk personally the idea that showing skin = freedom is an idea that doesn't rly work 4 me, now i can understand how the ABILITY 2 show skin is smth that ppl would c as freeing but there's a big difference between the ability 2 do smth vs doing it

like ok, i technically hav the ability 2 show more skin if i wanted 2, if i wanted 2 i could do that and i would not get into legal trouble or anything 4 it, i might still get harassed or slut shamed ect but i can still technically do it, now do i think that ppl showing more skin should just b seen as a normal thing that some ppl do? yes, but so should the idea that some ppl might not want 2 do that

as some1 who's trans and as some1 who has experienced sexual trauma i personally find the fact that i can choose 2 cover my body very freeing, i can decide if i don't want 2 give ppl permission 2 c parts of my body if i don't want 2 and i can cover up if i want 2, i personally choose 2 do this not bc i feel like i hav 2 or bc i feel like it makes me superior or snything like that but simply bc covering up is how i feel more comfortable presenting myself in public, it helps me feel like i hav more control over the situation and it's been helping me w feeling in control of my body and what ppl do and don't get 2 c of my body, smth that is very healing 4 me given that i was sexually abused as a child so the idea that my body isn't my own is smth that was instilled at a young age

but i find it difficult 2 find anything covering and tbh i feel like ppl r sometimes just as weird abt covering skin as they r abt showing skin, there's a big difference between the freedom of the ability 2 cover up or show skin vs the expectation 2 cover up or show skin, idk i feel like lately i've been seeing ppl acting like ppl should show more skin and expecting ppl 2 show more skin and not getting that that's just as oppressive as saying ppl should cover up more or expecting ppl 2 cover up more just bc it's a form of oppression that is talked abt less

also, i c a lot of ppl using this rhetoric of "modesty wear bad" as a way of being antisemitic or islamaphobic (sry if spelling that wrong not seen that written down b4 and autocorrect not helping me) or just as a way of demonising minority religious or cultures in general when there's a tradition of dressing more modestly even if it's a tradition that isn't enforced, while yes ppl also talk abt white christians wearing modesty wear the way in which it's talked abt is different also u guys need 2 understand that the problem isn't modesty wear itself, the problem is forcing ppl 2 dress a certain way when it's uncomfortable 4 them or when they simply don't want 2 dress that way 4 whatever reason

[chaosclover1999]

no but like as some1 who is aromantic tho it's so fucked up how uncomfortable ppl even within the queer community r w this sometimes

like the assumption that romantic relationships r somehow more meaningful than platonic relationships and the idea that if people who hav no romantic feelings for each other hav a sexual or otherwise intimate relationship then that must mean they r using each other, it's legit so aro-phobic and assumes that any relationships i hav that r more authentic 2 me and how i love is somehow lesser and me using the other person and it only seeks to guilt me into either pretending to have romantic attraction and force myself into a comp-romo relationship or 4 me 2 not hav any relationships in my life at all and completely self isolate

tbh it also affects how i talk abt the relationship i do hav, im in a qpr w another man and i love him very much, personally i would feel the most comfortable referring 2 him as my friend since the most accurate way i could describe what we hav is a very deep and intimate friendship (that yes is also sexual sometimes) but when referring 2 him in conversation w most ppl i usually refer 2 him as my "boyfriend" instead of my "friend" since the term boyfriend 2 most ppl is what indicates the level of dedication and love i have for this man whereas most people if i called him my friend would simply not understand how deep my feelings for him go and would be thinking of something far more casual than how i actually feel about him (not that there's anything wrong with casual of course that's just not accurate 2 my feelings in this relationship)

i think in some way it's also a way of protecting myself, my partner and dear friend would not be allowed to come into doctors appointments w/ me if i referred 2 him as my friend when explaining 2 the doctor who he is 2 me, so i refer 2 him as my boyfriend, this is necessary 4 my feelings of safety and comfort since i hav a lot of medical trauma and don't feel safe being on my own w a doctor, also it's necessary 4 my safety as a disabled person who's disabilities effect my ability 2 understand things ppl say 2 me, my friend can explain 2 me what the doctors r saying in terms i am able 2 understand but the doctors even if they did try (they don't) wouldn't b able 2 explain things 2 me in a way that made sense 2 my brain and meant that i would hav a full understanding of what they were suggesting being done 2 my body in terms of medical care simply bc of them not knowing me personally and not knowing how my mind works and how my ability 2 understand things works

i think a lot of ppl who r alloromantic don't understand/think abt how truly enforced the idea of romance is and how dystopian it is that that's seen as a requirement, 4 example the fact that a person's legal rights regarding their partner changes if they r married 2 them, my friend likely would not b allowed 2 c me in the hospital if i were unconscious and it would just b me and the doctors all bc of us not being married, it doesn't matter 2 the law how deep our relationship goes and how i am far more comfortable trusting him than a doctor, what matters to the law is our inability 2 perform romance and our lack of interest in performing monogamy, idk it's smth i think abt a lot

having sex with your friends is so very normal please stop poisoning the youths minds with shame surrounding hooking up with your friends. especially if you’re gay

[chaosclover1999]

yeh i always hated shit like this

like okay there was a point in time where i knew i was nonbinary in some way but hadn't figured out i was a demiguy yet and i was still presenting kinda feminine-ish mainly bc of trying 2 play around w gender expression 2 c what worked, i constantly was being lumped in w women and had cis women talking 2 me abt misogyny but in a way where they clearly thought i was going 2 hav the same experiences as them bc of being visibly afab at the time, they didn't seem 2 want 2 talk abt sexism w me anymore whenever i talked abt transphobia and the transphobia i was specifically experiencing as a nonbinary person, and the few that did always tried 2 universally blame men 4 transphobia and tried 2 act like ppl not respecting me using they/them pronouns was the extent of what i was experiencing and also that it was just an extension of the sexism they experienced as cis women, they always seemed so uncomfortable and surprised whenever i brought up that it wasn't only men being transphobic 2 me and that nonbinary specific transphobia goes beyond ppl not getting that my pronouns were they/them and they would straight up start arguments w me insisting that the majority of transphobic ppl at least were men and would just straight up say i was wrong when i said that it was honestly abt 50/50 between cis men and cis women and if i tried 2 argue that "well 2day it was mostly women that were being weird abt it" then they would try 2 argue that there were definitely more guys being transphobic and i just hadn't noticed it even trying 2 put in my head the idea that random men had been being transphobic 2 me and i just didn't notice it when they hadn't been, this got especially bad when i was presenting kinda hyperfeminine and wearing lots of dresses ect and none of this was even in those kinds of spaces this was just,,, me meeting w ppl in cafes and stuff 4 various reasons, so when i started seeing shit that said "women and nonbinary ppl" i had a p good idea of what it was gonna b and i knew i wasn't actually going 2 b welcome there

naturally this got worse when i became even more aware and i realised some more things abt myself and that im specifically a demiguy who uses he/they pronouns or he/him pronouns depending on situation and how likely i think some1 is 2 switch between he/him and they/them interchangeably vs seeing "he/they" and then just using they/them pronouns 4 me, like legit i feel like most ppl don't even c me as nonbinary even tho i literally am just bc im also a guy and i present a lot more masc these days, like buzzed hair w joggers and a hoodie kinda masc bc that's just how i feel the most comfortable but bc of that and bc of me being both a guy and nonbinary im p sure i would either get misgendered or told 2 leave if i went 2 1 of those types of things

i think 1 of the things that needs 2 b talked abt within the queer community more is the performative fragility of cis women when it comes 2 trans ppl just,,, existing but especially when it comes 2 trans ppl talking abt our experiences w sexism and transphobia, a lot of cis women from my experience seem 2 treat transphobia as an extension of the sexism that they experience and not as it's own seperate axis of oppression they also never seem 2 want 2 listen 2 the concept that cis women r often transphobic and sexist 2wards trans ppl since the idea that cis women can b sexist in some way shatters their idea of how sexism works which is the concept that "woman = good and morally pure" and "men = gross/creepy and morally evil" like even a lot of cis women who don't c themselves as terfs fall victim 2 that kinda thinking, hell even i did, that's y it took me so long 2 let myself b a guy bc i had so much unlearning 2 do, i think smth that needs 2 b stated more also is that terfism is an ideological cult based around the concept of moral purity which is how so many ppl including ppl literally hurt by terfism fall victim 2 it but also it's often easier 4 cis women 2 fall victim 2 terfism and a lot of "women only spaces" or spaces that r functionally "women only spaces" when it comes 2 talking abt politics usually just has the side effect of creating an echo chamber 4 terf ideology not bc all cis women r terfs but bc it's so much easier 4 terf ideology 2 spread when there's no1 in the room who can correct misinformation or incorrect assumptions ect like it's gonna b more difficult 4 terf ideology 2 spread in a group if there's a transmasc there who's confident enough and feels safe enough 2 speak up and say "actually when u guys make jokes abt how u think all men r rapists or how u think all men should b killed it makes me feel really unsafe and is just another form of sexism, also it's literally that kind of assigning morality 2 gender that made it so difficult 2 accept myself as a guy" like sure terf ideology can still spread even when there r ppl speaking up who feel safe enough and confident enough 2 do so but it's a lot less effective than if it was a bunch of cis women in a room talking abt how they think all men r trash as a "joke"

idk mayb im just kinda jaded but if im being 100% honest i think the worst transphobia i've ever had 2 deal w has been from cis women, like at least w the handful of cis guys i've dealt w that from they r not trying 2 convince me im doing something morally reprehensible by accepting myself idk, not every1's experience ik but in my experience when cis guys r transphobic it's usually attack helicopter jokes or slurs which sucks ass but it's at least easy enough 2 b like "okay well ur clearly just being a dick" or they try 2 argue that ur gender identity is "illogical" and "doesn't make sense" which also sucks but also like being human in general doesn't make sense and doesn't really operate on logic so yeah, just kinda annoying af, whereas in my experience typically when cis women r being transphobic it usually instead is about how me transitioning was morally wrong somehow even if it's not explicitly stated that that's what it is and it's more just heavily implied with "i just don't understand how some1 could live as a woman and then choose 2 become a man after seeing how terrible they r" type statements or its "jokes" abt how they think men r terrible or it's calling transmascs sexist when we speak up abt the specific transphobia we experience and how us being transmasc plays a role in that or it's cis women saying that "bc we're men" (in quotes bc this is also said 2 ppl who don't identify as men) they now don't feel safe around us bc anything 2 close 2 "being a man" 4 them is labelled as dangerous inherently

ok hands up

how many other nonbinary/genderqueer people here hate the phrase "women and nonbinary people"

[chaosclover1999]

u guys need 2 stop using the word "misogynist" like a slur and i am gd serious it feels like any time i try 2 talk abt how women sometimes contribute 2 the oppression of marginalised men some1 just calls me a misogynist and doesn't even say what part of the post they thought was me being misogynistic

like women r not some magical non-human group of ppl who can do no wrong and 2 treat women that way is a form of sexism both bc ur seeing women as non-human in a way but also bc ur seeing women as above human which then results in u being sexist against both men and women

men r not some evil monstrous group of ppl that can only do wrong and saying that we r is sexist

misogyny absolutely does exist but saying that any time a man criticises a woman or point out the way in which women sometimes contribute 2 societal harm means that the man is being a "misogynist" cheapens the term and makes it lose all meaning

also the reason i say ppl r using it as a slur is bc i usually c this being used against queer men and men of colour, like, speaking from experience and also going thru the tags, i feel like most transmascs who talk abt the existence of transandrophobia on this site can attest 2 the experience of posting abt ur personal experiences w transandrophobia only 2 get a reply from some1 (of any gender) calling u a misogynist in an attempt 2 shut down what u were saying w/out even explaining y they thought what u said was wrong

idk it feels like lately i c ppl using the term less 2 talk abt actual misogyny and more 2 try 2 shut down marginalised men talking abt our experiences of systemic oppression and how women sometimes contribute 2 that knowingly or unknowingly

like idk mayb let's not reduce the meaning of such an important word 2 the equivalent of "L + ratio + i hate marginalised men"

[chaosclover1999]

"go touch some grass"

ok but what r u doing 2 make that a safe experience 4 ppl?

no actually tho

u can't expect ppl 2 stop using chatbots if it's not safe 4 them bc they hav no motivation 2

"talk 2 ppl in ur fandom"

how safe is the fandom 4 ppl?

is it a fandom that is generally accepting of POC?

what abt disabled ppl?

what abt queer ppl?

what abt poor ppl?

what abt women?

what abt men?

what abt ppl who just hav different hcs from the 1s that r majority in the fandom?

fandom is not always a safe space

i've seen ppl in the mouthwashing fandom b ableist 2 curly and by proxy any1 w similar disabilities despite the fact that the point of this was the horror was supposed to come from people being ableist to curly in the source material

i've seen the mouthwashing fandom hate on curly 4 being a male abuse victim and denying that he was ever a victim despite a big part of his story being that him and jimmy had a weird codependency where jimmy was abusing him

i've seen the mouthwashing fandom reduce anya 2 being nothing but a victim bc of being a woman despite her, yk, being a whole character

i've seen the tf2 fandom say that any1 that doesn't agree w the hc that spy and scout r father and son and then ships them bc of not seeing them as father and son despite it being a popular hc should "kill themselves" despite the fact that it's never actually stated in canon that they are related and the comic that comes closest is 1 where spy is in disguise as a celebrity that scout's dad was an impersonator of and so scout thinks that he's seeing his dad again and spy gets confused and then later in the same comic they get arrested and killed for "sex crimes" while it also being confirmed that none of the mercs that r playable in the game have sexually assulted anyone making it easy 4 some1 2 assume that "sex crimes" probably means "being gay at a time and place where that's illegal"

i've seen the helluva boss fandom hate a character because of him being a man who's a survivor of abuse and not being a perfect victim despite the fact that the idea of the perfect victim was made up 2 bully survivors into not speaking up abt their abuse

i've seen the fucking moomin fandom try to accuse ppl who ship moomin and snufkin of shipping pedophilia bc they hav a hc that snufkin is an adult and moomin is a child despite every canon depiction of them i've seen implying they r of a similar age

i've seen ppl in the amazing digital circus fandom decide they hate jax because of him showing clear signs of ASPD despite the fact that some ppl just fucking hav ASPD and shouldn't b judged 4 that

i've seen the don't hug me im scared fandom infantalise blue/yellow guy (i call him blue guy bc of his hair but ik a lot of ppl call him yellow guy) despite the source material being about the horror of how society treats autistic ppl and mentally disabled ppl in general

and that's just a few examples and without even getting onto stuff w the source material sucking but then ppl reclaiming characters and being like "no they mine now ur writing them wrong"

the antisemitic design of wario from the mario series along w him being characterised as "greedy" comes 2 mind

u cannot expect ppl 2 leave chatbots and talk 2 real ppl in the fandoms they r in when those fandoms r largely unsafe 4 them and no this is not limited 2 the examples i mentioned the examples i used r just 1s i could think of off the top of my head

if u want ppl 2 interact w the fandom u hav 2 make that fandom a safe and welcoming space 4 ppl or they r gonna leave in favour of smth they hav more control over so they can make it feel safer 4 them, bc chatbots often feel safer even if they r not actually safer and ik that's a big part of the reason i got addicted 2 them

srsly if u guys stopped making fun of ppl who use chatbots and calling them losers and instead put that energy into making online spaces safer 4 ppl then the issue would probably solve itself or at the very least there would b way less ppl relying as heavily on chatbots as there currently r now

[chaosclover1999]

fr also if ur not going 2 acknowledge that we r the best ppl 2 talk abt our own damn experiences then that literally also plays into the narrative that terfs like 2 use that we're all "hysterical girls who don't understand what we're saying" until we go on T and then we're all "violent men with female hysteria" like just know if ur going 2 say that transmen r not reliable narrators on our own oppression u r literally playing into terf hands, u r furthering their ability 2 write shitty books abt how they think we r "unknowingly irreversibly damaging our female bodies" bc the reason they feel so bold in doing that is bc they know no1 is going 2 listen 2 us abt our own experiences, if u think we're not reliable narrators on our own experiences how deep does that go? is that y cis ppl seem rly comfy w calling transmascs "fakers" mayhaps? like part of the narrative that terfs like 2 spin is literally tied 2 the bullshit idea that we don't understand our own experiences as well as cis ppl do and another bif part of the narrative they like 2 spin is that transmacs r afab ppl trying 2 escape sexism and that we supposedly achieve this when we achieve medical transition or the ability 2 "pass" as a man whichever comes 1st if at all

another false idea tied 2 this that i even c a lot of trans ppl perpetuating is the idea that when u pass as a transmasc then u no longer hav 2 deal w transphobia directly and u no longer hav 2 deal w sexism, both of these i can tell u from experience r false, i hav not been able 2 medically transition yet but i am at a point where i can mostly pass, don't fuckin try 2 tell me that my day-2-day is the same as a cis man bc it just isn't

i still hav 2 go 2 the gyno

where i not incontinent i would still hav 2 sit down 2 pee and where i not disabled in general (im multiply disabled) then i would need 2 deal w going into a men's public bathroom and not being able 2 use the urinals so having 2 hope 1 of the 2 cubicals/stalls is available, like yk that's not gonna work right?

were i not on birth control i would hav 2 still worry abt periods

a couple weeks ago i got a plastic stick surgically implanted in my arm so i don't hav 2 deal w periods or the fear of just the possibility of childbirth especially since cis guys hav been using pregnancy as a threat against transmascs lately in an attempt 2 force us 2 detransition

it's insulting 4 me as a transmasc 2 say im not allowed 2 talk abt my own experiences w sexism and specifically the intersection of sexism against men and transphobia bc of it not fitting in w a cisgender idea of feminism when rly even cis men face a form of sexism in the form of what's often called toxic masculinity

like when a cis man is told as a child that boys don't cry that is a way in which sexism effects men for example, and then bigger things like people assuming that female babysitters are well intentioned but assuming male babysitters are predatory

as transmascs and transmen however "boys don't cry" becomes "stop talking about this, you're talking over the pain of women, the women are actually in pain you can't be because ur a man" i can't speak for how it is w cis men but i can only imagine that it's similar in some ways, like when ppl assume that men can never b victims of sexual violence ect

it's not just our trans sisters that need safety and protection but also our trans brothers 2, i am just as deserving of space, of support and of safety and protection as any woman cis or trans and me being a man shouldn't negate that, ik this isn't a very "trendy" thing 2 say these days but men r human beings and r ppl 2 and just like any1 we need safety and security, i mean damn idk y this is so hard 4 some ppl

not super coherent bc im still waking up but yeh

if a trans man talks about the discrimination and violence he faces because he’s a trans man and you say “that’s not because you’re a man, it’s just because you’re trans! you can’t be oppressed for being a man!” you owe him and every other trans man a minimum of $100 each.

you cannot treat our transness and our manhood as two completely separate things. we’re trans because we’re men and men because we’re trans. when we’re oppressed for our transness, we’re being oppressed on the basis of a transition to manhood. our transness and our manhood are inseparably linked. you don’t get to ignore the existence of trans manhood as a unique cohesive position in the hierarchy of gendered oppression just because the concept of a gender-oppressed man doesn’t fit into your current understanding of how those hierarchies work. you don’t get to pick and choose whether you want to address us as trans people or as men based on what you find the most convenient for your worldview in a given situation because we’re always both and there’s nothing contradictory about that.

if a trans man says he’s oppressed on the basis of being a man and the conclusion you take away from that is that trans men can’t be trusted to talk about our own oppression and his intentions must be malicious, you’re just a transphobe. the correct conclusion to take away from that would be that it’s time to update your understanding of gendered oppression because your current way of thinking about it doesn’t apply to an entire group of people. if you immediately get defensive and paint an entire group of trans people as unreliable narrators of their own lives instead, you’re just being transphobic.

if you believe that an oppressed group should get to lead discussions on their own oppression and be believed by default when they talk about how it works, you have to apply that principle to trans men too. we’re not an exception to the rule, you’re just a hypocrite making excuses.

[chaosclover1999]

no but this is literally what ive been saying tho

women hav just as much power as men 2 b shitty and that's smth that needs 2 b acknowledged if we're gonna get anywhere w gender equality and it's not feminism 2 abuse a man and then b like "#girlboss 🤭" when u wanna get out of being charged 4 committing an act of violence against another human being just bc u 4got that men r also human beings and ur actions hav consequences

anyway i feel like most ppl don't listen 2 me abt it bc im speaking on it from the perspective of a transman who's been a victim of female violence and systemic oppression so since u only wanna listen 2 ppl when they r not screaming abt how u hurt them and u only wanna listen 2 women mayb you'll b more willing 2 listen 2 this woman say the exact same shit i've been saying

[chaosclover1999]

ok weird fucking complaint 2 hav mayb but like y is specifically queer porn banned on the nintendo switch?

like i'll b looking thru the e shop just 4 like a chill farming sim or smth and then BAM! TIDDIES! but then when i look thru my games on my computer 2 c how many of my games i could also hav on the switch (i just find the switch easier 2 use bc of accessibility stuff) then none of the nsfw games i hav r on there

like y is it that that stuff isn't ok but games that hav "hentai" in the title and women w their tiddies out is okay???

idk i just think it's hypocritical and kinda homophobic tbh

like if nintendo wants 2 not hav porn games on the e shop that's fair but then y r there straight porn games on the e shop?

if nintendo does want 2 hav porn games on the e shop then y r there no queer or even queer inclusive porn games on the e shop?

idk just weird af 2 me that they r picking and choosing like this, like either hav porn on the e shop or don't u don't get 2 b homophobic abt it

[chaosclover1999]

ok so im making a post abt NPD, which is smth that some1 i am friends w has and has talked 2 me abt it b4 but i don't hav it myself so if u hav NPD and i got anything wrong lemme know

okay so i kinda absolutely fucking hate how ppl on the internet talk abt NPD not just bc it's ableist as all fuck 2 act like having any disability (including a personality disorder) makes some1 inherently more abusive (although it 100% is ableist as all fuck 2 act like that's how that works) but also smth i just noticed is how this might b uniquely damaging 2 ppl w NPD compared 2 other mental health conditions bc of how much some1 w NPD might b reliant on having a positive public perception of themselves

like, from what i've been told from ppl who hav it it's the "i need every1 2 think im perfect disorder" so essentially having this smear campaign against ppl w NPD is not only bad on its own merit but also it's literally attacking ppl w NPD where they r the weakest and that's not okay

it's the same as telling some1 w morality OCD that they r a morally reprehensible person

it's the same as telling some1 w POCD that they r a pedophile

it's the same as telling some1 w social anxiety that all of their friends secretly hate them

it's the same as telling some1 w depression that nothing they do will ever matter so they shouldn't bother

it's the same as telling some1 w suicidal ideation 2 kill themselves

it's not cute and it doesn't make u based

[chaosclover1999]

When you see a man actually talking about the actual basic human rights of discriminated against men, & your responce is to shut them down by likening them to an MRA incel, you're not being cool & woke, you're saying the same shit as radfems & run of the mill sexists.

MRA does not literally mean 'activists for men's rights', MRA was/is a movement of creepy reddit incels who wanted state assigned girlfriends & said that was 'men's rights', or saying that men deserve more rights than women, that is why they suck, not because they're talking about men's human rights.

MOC & Transmascs & Immigrant men & male abuse victims & disabled men etc. talking about their rights or lack thereof & how being a man factors into it for them are not your enemy & are not MRAs, they're literal activists for men's literal actual human rights.

[chaosclover1999]

political fandom take: hazbin hotel edition

1 of the things i hate most abt hazbin hotel isn't even the actual episodes or anything like ik that ppl r saying that it's like sparkledog oc writing and like yeah it is but that isn't objectively good or bad or inherently political in any way it's just down 2 personal preference

no my issue is w the marketing and the fact that twice now the marketing has been reliant on the sexualisation of Alastor who is canonically a sex repulsed asexual, im not ace personally (although i did previously identify as ace, long story) so i can't really speak to the experiences of people who r ace and sex repulsed, w that being said tho even i can c as an alloaro how disrespectful this is 2 the ace community

1st it was the sexualisation of Alastor by putting him in non canon sexual situations w Angel Dust in which Angel Dust was portrayed as being very pushy and not respectful of Alastor's boundaries, this is bad 4 a number of reasons

1) using the radio dust ship 2 market the show 2 fans even tho Alastor is sex repulsed and would not b happy in these situations

2) portraying a character who is a hypersexual SA survivor as being handsy and not taking no 4 an answer and acting like ppl who r hypersexual would sexually abuse others by nature of being hypersexual

this is smth that i can speak 2 more from personal experience and this is literally y i hate the radiodust ship and the hunicast hazbin hotel streams so much, like believe it or not it is possible 2 b a horny mf-er w/out assulting or harassing ppl, it's rly not that difficult

3) Angel Dust doing this is not portrayed as a bad thing and this is in fact portrayed as a joke meaning that the stream is making jokes about men being sexually assulted and not just that but specifically a hypersexual gay man sexually assulting an asexual man

like do i even need 2 explain this? we got:

- the idea that gay men r forcing gay sex on men who r not into them

- sexual assult of men played 4 laughs

- the idea that hypersexuals who r SA survivors/victims of SA would then assult ppl by nature of being hypersexual

- an asexual man being sexually assulted and it being played 4 laughs which is especially bad given that ace ppl often hav 2 deal w threats of corrective rape or worse actually being raped

so yeh i hate the hunicast hazbin streams and tbh idk y ppl like them, it's mostly just the VAs encouraging the fans 2 send them money 2 make awful jokes abt Alastor getting assulted by Angel Dust in a way that's played off for comedic effect

the reason im bringing this up is bc apparently there was recent promo art where the marketing was jokingly mentioning the radioapple ship and tbh im kinda glad they had 2 take it down bc of backlash bc i feel like if it hadn't been stopped it would've just been more ""jokes"" abt a sex repulsed asexual man getting sexually assulted by another man but this time from the in universe king of hell

like srsly can we pls stop making this the main marketing technique? like i know we all talk abt how the fandom is bad when it comes 2 sexualising Alastor but i never rly c any1 talk abt how the promo techniques definitely played a hand in this and the normalisation of these things within the fandom