random-person-soyeah

[random-person-soyeah]

Giyuu's Birthday

Giyuu’s birthday is on february eighth, his family and friends always made a big deal of it, his sister, and parents had always said that they had to celebrate their ‘little droplet’ being born. He never saw the hype but he loved his family’s smiles, and the warmth of their hugs and cuddles, he always did love their affection.

When he turned four,

His parents threw a party for the town, everyone had brought gifts and were happy, but Giyuu could only hide behind his sister. He didn’t like loud noises, especially not in larger groups. So when they snuck away Tsutako wrapped him in one of her spare kimonos picking him up and twirling him in the air laughing and giggling with him before they went back to the party Tsutako holding him while walking down to the party, Giyuu wrapping his arms around her trying not to look at his uncle by burying his face into her shoulder. He doesn't know why but his parents never let him around his uncle, but he does know that if mama and papa say not to talk to him he won’t. However in his attempt to hide his face he starts to doze off just as Tsutako walks up to their parents petting his hair and quietly humming a lullaby, slowly leading him further into a deeper sleep. He didn’t hear the exchange that happened next, the worry for his health, or how they were going to give him the medicine without making him worry too much. He wishes he had stayed with his parents that night.

It was the last birthday he ever saw them alive.

A week after the party

He had ran up to Tsutako and her fiance, crying. Earlier that day after lunch his parents had caught the flu so Tsutako wanted to go get medicine for them but they didn’t want her to go out alone because it was raining and going to get dark soon so her fiance went with her leaving Giyuu alone with his parents. He had gone into their room to give them green tea and simmered salmon with daikon, when he had opened their door he found them dead.

They held their funeral a few weeks later.

The next big birthday he had was when he turned 12

It was a fun party, Tsutako had announced that she and her fiance Haruto found out that they were expecting, he also met a very nice girl her name was Rin, there were relatives and towns people saying that they would make a cute couple, Rin was flustered everytime anyone told them that, he didn’t quite understand why didn’t feel anything similar to her, instead he just felt emptiness and a gut feeling that something was wrong. That night Haruto had gone to his family home a few towns over to visit and help bring his family over for the wedding, Giyuu and Tsutako had stayed back to prepare the guest bedrooms for when they arrived. At around midnight while Tsutako was putting Giyuu to sleep there was a knock on the door. Tsutako had told Giyuu to stay in his room and try to sleep. Assuming Haruto might have made it back with his family earlier than expected she opened the door.

The last thing he heard from his sister was her scream.

What he saw after running down was a demon eating her arm walking away.

The last thing of her he saw was her mutilated and bloodied body

But nobody believed him. They called him crazy, said he was lying. He wasn’t crazy. They tried to send him to his uncle.Mama, Papa, and Tsutako told him to stay away from uncle.

“I won’t go!”

he yelled over and over but nobody listened, nobody cared. They didn’t care when he yelled. When his uncle hit him. They didn’t even care when his uncle said that Giyu was going to make him a lot of money.

Why didn’t they care?

Why was he not good enough for the people he loved to stay alive?

Why did they leave him?!

These were questions he asked. Over, and over, and over in his head.

His uncle had him for all of a week before he ran. He always did run when things got tough didn’t he?

Mabey nine hours after he ran.

He had fallen a long while ago, but he didn’t care. Why should he?

Maybe if the cold took him he could see his family again. That's all he wanted wasn’t it?

He doesn’t remember when he passed out, or when the man that smells of salmon took him. What he does remember is waking up in a house, a child who looked to be his age kneeling over him with a white fox mask with a scar resting on his light pink hair, soft eyes and a scar across his cheek that matched the one on the mask. The pink haired boy had hollered for someone once he saw that Giyu was awake. This time he was greeted by an old man with a red demon mask on. If Giyu wasn’t so exhausted he probably would have screamed

Then he turned 13.

It was two days before he and the salmon haired boy who he had grown to know as Sabito would head out for final selection, but they still celebrated. The man who smelled of salmon had said that they celebrated Sabito’s so they would celebrate his. Urokodaki was really kind even if he didn’t look it at first glance. To celebrate his birthday Urokodaki made them simmered salmon with daikon. He had also allowed them to have an off day off training. During their off day Sabito and Giyu hung out. Whether in the tree or by the waterfall. He felt something with Sabito that he never felt with a girl. Feelings that he knew he should have had with Ren, but he didn’t care. He knew it wasn’t normal, or natural, and he knew that he could never tell Sabito. Ever. He knew what not to do but he still did it. He still told him by the waterfall swinging his feet over the edge, quietly admitting to the abnormal feelings he had. Praying not to be pushed down the waterfall, hoping to at least keep a friend. Did he mess up by telling him? He didn’t know, what he did know is that Sabito, the sweet eyed salmon haired boy, said he felt the same.

He felt the same!!

Giyu honestly thought that that would be the best birthday ever! But good things never last forever especially for him.

A few days later Sabito died. He died protecting others. He died because he heard someone call for help.

He died because I wasn’t strong enough!

Giyu swore to never celebrate his birthday again. Every time it came around what his uncle called him would ring in his ears, getting louder and louder, maybe his uncle was right.

Maybe he really was just bad luck.

Maybe he should just finish what the cold didn’t.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58515820

[random-person-soyeah]

To all the unfortunate peculiars

The begining of something we dont even know

“My eye’s weird as hell anyway so it's understandable” Norman pauses when a finger pokes his left cheek before a soft voice speaks “well I think it’s cool, who wants to be normal anyway? I mean look at our brother” she says before moving his head to face the barn where his brother was having an entire conversation with the prized pig “he is talking with a pig, and our mom” she says before turning his head again to his mother who was holding her hand above the ground before a small strawberry bush starts to grow with a few almost ready to be picked “she’s growing strawberries for jam in less than two minutes. Your eye is probably the most normal thing in the family” she says leaning back on the tree her arms behind her head as he leans on the other side of it laughing at his little brother who apparently misspoke and is now getting chased by the pig he was conversing with “besides that's the smallest thing to hate about you” he turns his head to face her “what do you mean?” but suddenly she's gone and he’s no longer by the tree but instead next to a bomb and he feels a weight on his arm turning his head slowly down to his lap he sees his brother lying there limp, cold, and lifeless with his eyes missing from their sockets creating a disturbing dark void. He felt the need to cry while staring at his little brother, his face stained with tears but nothing could come out. He had wanted to be a zookeeper. He wanted to help. He was too young. He was only seven and his future had been stolen. Stolen by a man they trusted. A twig breaking snapped him out of his spiral and he whips his head around to see his sister, her head hung low and her hands at her side. “I mean you couldn't even save us” she speaks voice hoarse. “what?” he replies shakily. She only raises her head eyes gone in a similar void as their brothers, but before he can speak he feels a hand grabs his shirt he hurriedly looks down to see a girl pale with red hair and dark green dead eyes, her pupils were blown and skin was cold to the touch “why didn’t you try to stop me” suddenly everything went black, and there were hands all over him but he couldn't make anyone out nothing they were screaming would register in his brain, his hands were covering his ears trying to block out the static that has made its way to his ears do no avail. Then he feels a sudden jab against the back of his head feeling like someone stabbed him, and he’s in the break room of his work “hey kiddo you got a call” shelly said her voice sweet eyes laced with concern as she looked back at his sunken and panicked ones. He had a nightmare she figured it was from working for too long and sleeping too little but she knew there was more to it seeing the bruises he tried so desperately to hide, but her concern can’t earn her more of his trust than she already has, and compared to others she has a lot. He shakily mustered a quiet thank you before heading over to the phone. It was his grandpa

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66636925

[random-person-soyeah]

*//CUE CUT-SCENE\\*

Phil wakes up in a white padded room, he has honestly no clue how he got here and is ver worried suddenly a person walks up it: ✨️DiaryOfADepressedQueeer✨️ and they deck him in the face laughing maniacally while the happy birthday song plays

*// THE END🥳\\*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: DiaryOfADepressedQueeer🎉🎂

[random-person-soyeah]

Telling

Now do to last nights.. break down? Is that what we’re calling it? Idk. Anywho. Now tommy is standing infront of quackity, techno, relatively, close by and prepared to step in need be, hunched over with his arms crossed over his abdomen like that’ll save him, looking anywhere but mama q, it is so obvious that he’s trying to avoid this conversation. “soooo, whats the matter” quackity asks him, trying, and failing, to cover up his concern with some sort of calm, tommy turns to look at tech, since when did he call him tech? He’s not a baby, and has a silent argument over if he has to tell him, techno just gives him the look, the disappointed mom look, which, ow, you know? And pushes off the wall he was leaning on the walk over, hands on his hip, and pats tommy’s head asking if he’d rather him do it, tommy nods and goes to sit down and read, right as he does sit down though purpled and the two kids come in, is he their dad or something? Not the point toms, stay on point. But what the hell even is the point, I mean he’s just sitting down to read, its not like theres some ‘big thing’ to do, right on that note mama q comes up, rather quick, concern evident on their face, and hugs him from behind, which, for a second, successfully had him freeze in place, it also had the little girl who was running up freeze, and cause the other teen to look as confused and worried as tommy felt, and he whispered reassurance

Tommy hates this, one minute he was fine, he was sleepung good, hell he had even eaten at dinner, and the next he’s bent over the toliet for their room with someone holding back he’s, too long for his liking, hair. He doesn’t know who it is, they haven’t talked, and for obvious reasons, he hasn’t looked at them.

Shortly after he stopped puking his guts out the stranger had let go of his hair, setting it on his back so it wouldn’t fall into the toilet, and dumped the cup that holds their toothbrushes before filling it with water, and tapping it, ratger lightly, on his head, causing him to reach out and grab it, quickly downing it after taking a second to catch his breath, moving to actually sit on the floor, albeit with a whimper that he’s praying they didn’t hear, leaning his head against the wall before actually looking at the mystery person, and holy shit that’s purpled, dammit! Honestly if tommy had anymore energy he would be hyper panicking, he’s honestly a little happy that he doesn’t have the energy for that, it would be exhausting “are you okay?” the question just sort of popped up out of no where, like yes he should’ve expected it but somehow he didn’t, does that make sense? Tommy’s entire response was just a jump and a nod, his head falling forward to rest on the edge of his knees, his arms crossing around it resting his hands and the cup atop of his head, feeling slightly dizzied by the motion. Purpled slides down the wall to sit next to him resting his head against the wall and sitting crisscross applesauce tommy wonders if he should talk or just exist in the silence, he knows that purpled makes the choice for him when he hears muffled words and sees his mouth moving out of the corner of his blurry vison, but he doesn’t know what’s being said, I mean, how could he? Especially when the darkness starts to flood in and out of his vison and all noise starts to sound underwater. He stands up, movement stuttering as he leans against the wall, and tries to walk to the door, if he was gonna sleep he was gonna sleep in a bed, suddenly everything goes black, and the last thing he hears is a thud that was a little to close to him before blacking out

(Again, any other name ideas tell me pls 🙏)

[random-person-soyeah]

The charms will tell you more than words

Tommy is being gently lulled gently, to soft hands to be tubbo’s, but phil wouldn’t be waking him up, especially not like this, so that leaves wilbur, but wilburs never this gentle and he never rubs his thumb in a circle, the only person whose ever done that was mamma Q, they were tubbo’s mom, and after the accident but before their lock-up, they were practically his too, but that can’t be tommys not in the hospital he’s at home, right?

Tommy infact wasn’t at home, and it was, infact, mamma q waking him up. So now tommy sitting with his, I guess, roommates, eating breakfast, which, for him, consists of strawberry milk, an egg sandwich, and, for a reason he can explain pickles with peanut butter. What kinda food does this baby want? He’s pretty sure the purple eyed man is staring at him, whether its un disgust or not he can’t tell, the pink haired man keeps glancing back up at him randomly, and seemed momentarily surprised before shrugging and going back to his food, which consists of one toast, and, like, a lot of potatoes. Mama q, he really needs to get their actual name (he didn’t even know his name before he transitioned) bumps their shoulders, momentarily startling tommy mid peanut butter pickle bite, mama Q, upon noticing the pickle, snickers into hos hand, tommy finishes it with a huff turning back to his plate and chewing for a bit before talking again “what’s your name by the way?” In a soft voice mama q replies “Quackity” that makes him blue screen a bit “li- like a duck? Like the noise a duck makes?” this earns a laugh from everyone at the table and tommy looks around hands up, it is like a duck, ducks go quack, I think, Right?

“Yes like a duck” mama q (Quackity) softly response from behind his hands chuckling, “now I have a question for you” this makes him perk up a bit it also causes the laughter to slowly die out, and tommy’s head quirks to the side like a confused animal “what’s your name” to emphasize quackity boops his nose causing tommy to shake his face a bit before responding “tommy” then he huffs “and you didn’t need to do that” his cheeks are puffed and arms crossed causing quackity and the pink haired man to chuckle, this causes him to look at him inquisitively the pink haired man avoiding his gaze, quackity brakes his stare by poking his shoulder “well I think it’s a good name” this causes tommy to smile, like genuinely smile too, he cant help but think that he’ll like it here.

It's currently around 10 and they’re in free time, I do believe they called it, making bracelets, his therapist, after being told of his.. situation, suggested he makes one for his kid, you know pick a name, some colors, and charms, then put the on the bracelet, he chose the name ‘shroud’ after his spider thought it’d be cute, and then even if he changes the name he can keep it for his spider. So he made it black and red, with a small spider charm before the name and one on the end. He thinks it looks cool. The boy with purple eyes, whom he now knows as purpled, which is a little on the nose if you asked him, looks over at the braclet and, as if he was made to, questions “whose shroud?” tommy, slightly panicking responds “my spider!” It came out quicker and in a higher pitch then intended but oh well, quackity sent a raised brow from above his cards, a knowing smirk playing on his lips, but just as quickly as he catches tommy’s gaze he drops it going back to his game, and that sends a shiver down his spine. What does he know? How does he know? Should tommy be worried? Eh, probably not.

So amazingly funny thing that he found out, the pink haired man seemed familiar cause he was his brother. Isn’t that hilarious? HAH. So now his whole ‘not coming out’ and ‘having no contact’ was for shit cause he found out anyway! Love that! Funnier fact, techno can still tell when he’s lying so now his older (/favorite/only one he would care about if they got into an accident) brother is cornering him in their, he thinks its called, free room, when they’re supposed to be getting ready for bed, being interrogated on why he really made a shroud bracelet, its also how he ended up having a break down infront of his brother and trauma dumping the last.. however long its been. Also how he got to listen to his brother threaten to kill whoever got him pregnant, which tommy doesn’t really get because if he’s pregnant he must have given an okay, right? Anyway he also threatened to murder dream, drista, and tubbo, so, yay? I guess? Anyway.

Tommy was finally told how long he was going to stay, good news? He’ll be here for the rest of the pregnancy, bad news? He’ll be here for the rest of the pregnancy. So that means that the kids at his school can bully him about it but it also means that the people here will know, well atleast he got to tell techno before he found out later, although I don’t know if telling techno counts as it was more interrogation panic then free will but oh well, not the point. Actually what was the point? He honestly cant remember but eh. Oh shit, he should probably tell mama q, tommy is really happy that he let him keep calling him mama, I mean the man is the second closest thing to family in here, and the most likely to be able to foster or adopt the kid id he isn’t allowed to keep it, he really wants to know the gender of the baby, he wishes it weren’t to early, again, off topic, wtf.

(If you have a diffrent name idea for the chapter pls tell me 🙏)

[random-person-soyeah]

Little Andy soft in your newborn skin (Only one, little Andy, will you return again?)

Tommy woke up with a start shooting up in the bed and head-butting tubbo in the process.. wait tubbo? What was he doing here?

Suddenly the memories come flooding back, the smoke of his joint, the fuzz it gave his brain, and the feel of wind rushing past him. Oh. It didn’t work, did it? Damn all.

Tubbo had started questioning, him even when the nurse came in, he did stop when he noticed her though. The nurse, whose name tag says ‘Alyssa’, starts talking to him, he doesn’t understand half of what she's saying though, before finally handing him his chart, and holy shit. He has a kid, like living in him. He did always want a kid but fuck he never thought he'd actually have one, however a more troubling matter is that he doesn’t even remember conceiving the kids, let alone who the dad is. I feel like that’s bad. I mean as far as tommy knew he was still a virgin which means he lost his virginity to whoever his kids father was, and he didn’t even know the color of his hair. Holy fuck tommy’s a whore.

Tommy is currently sitting on the edge of his hospital bed alone, with a bag of a few of his belongings. Phil had come in, and after learning of his child, tried to ask, read: demand, tommy get an abortion, which he promptly refused, and the nurse had informed them that even if phil asked they couldn’t perform an abortion without tommy’s consent, which tommy was so happy to hear, he doesn’t want someone to force him to kill his baby. She also informed them that, while not a lot, tommy was enough of a threat to himself to be put into the ‘mental hospital’ apparently it’s not an actual mental hospital more like a monitor for recovering people, close enough though. So now he’s waiting to be led to a car that’s supposed to bring him across town to the hospital. The nurse comes in, and leads him down the the front to a white van with more pastel color and animals, it was really pretty. Sitting in the back tommy subconsciously starts holding his belly with both arms, smiling every time he remembered there was a life in there growing like a bud.

They arrived at the hospital, it was a taller three story place, it was very long and wavy as well, there was benches and smaller play areas out front behind a blue fence, The building itself had lighter browns, blues, or greens. There are little fake hills around the building with pastel flowers painted on, walking in it looks even prettier. The floors had butterflies, flowers and other things painted in, the waiting area had soft looking baby blue couches and a smaller play area, the walls and ceiling painting blue with painted on hills, little flower carpets, and cloud lights. All of the railings are glass with some kind of design etched into them. There was even a library on the main floor, and the reception desk had multiple things of candies, and stickers, and such.

The man who had driven tommy there and walked him in also checked him in, they had brought him to a room with two brown bunk beds, with glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. Tommy sadly got the bottom bunk but the bed itself was soft enough that he didn’t really care. It felt like a cloud was swallowing him whole. Tearing himself from the bed he starts putting up what little he had, clothes go into the free space of the drawer, his stuffed cow, that tubbo had dug out of the storage they put their matching ones In, tubbo had a bee tommy a cow, went in the corner of his bed hidden by his pillows, tommy smiles as he puts him there. He leaves the two books tubbo grabbed him in his bag, and put on the bracelets he had, one was from tubbo, it was a friendship bracelet, the other from techno, he was given it to him before he left, it was a silver bracelet that had a small detachable pin needle dagger on one side and on the other had two charms, one of a cow and one of a pig, his and techno’s birthdays etched in the inside. He slides the backpack under his bed and stands up finally addressing the man who was waiting for him to finish putting everything up. He led tommy down to the, quite and empty, cafeteria, and had him get in line to grab some lunch, tommy still isn’t all that hungry but remembering his baby he knows that he cant hurt them anymore and needs to give them some nutrients, so he goes in grabs a sandwich and milk before going to sit down and eat. He had to force himself to get more of a bite or two in pacing it with drinks of his milk, chocolate now that he’s paying attention to it, which is a little upsetting cause he thought he grabbed strawberry, but looking around tommy sees he’s sitting alone, in an empty cafeteria so its probably just his brain playing tricks on him, he needs to hurry therapy was set up for after he eats.

Tommy had just gotten out of therapy and was told to head down to bed, he opens the door to the room he was given and stands there for a few seconds staring back at the other people in the room, one had short dirty blonde hair and purple eyes, he was playing with a little girl with long brown hair and a small boy with brown, and a streak of pink, hair, tommy lifts his hand to wave a small smile on his lips checking over his bunk to make sure it’s the same room and sighing a bit once he sees henry still sitting there. The other person is on the bunk above him and immediately catches his attention, he had long pink hair and black half glasses (yes they’re actually called that) and looked eerily familiar, his gaze was sharp and demanding but it softened upon seeing the bracelets on his, still in the air, wrist, which tommy quickly, and self consciously, hides behind his back averting his gaze, in doing so he notices the final person, an older boy with short black hair, a scar over his left eye, he also has a familiar duck clip in his hair, tommy squints his eyes at it and realized that that’s the most recent one him and tubbo sent to tubbo’s mom, now his mouth is agape while the man -man? He’s a man now. I think.- is looking around nervously, the man with purple eyes looks at him as if he’s daring him to do something but tommy hasn’t noticed, tommy snaps his mouth shut whispering “holy shit” staring off into the distant before throwing his head back and groaning “that makes so much makes sense” now everyone is staring at him in confusion, well all of them except the kids who are preoccupied in a game of patty cake, looking back up at the raven haired man he simply states “your tubbo’s parent, right” all he gets is a nod and tommy falls onto his bead burying his face into the pillow muttering something about going to bed before promptly passing out

[random-person-soyeah]

I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say (I promise you)

Tubbo had started to hang out with this cool girl named drista not to long ago, he doesn’t know how it started though. Him and drista have gone to school together for years but neither were really interested in each other so why they started talking now confused him, what confused him more was the fact that drista kept avoiding tommy, even dragged tubbo away from him at some points, lords know why he allowed her too, every time he had to watch tommy’s face drop because he left or because he was with drista it felt like part of him shattered, and he has no idea why.

Today he asked drista why she was avoiding tommy, and why she was making tubbo avoid him as well , her response was simple and in a tone that made it sound obvious “my brother told me too” which honestly baffled tubbo drista looked up at him “he’ll hurt us both if we go near tommy” and if that didn’t freak tubbo out he doesn’t know what would

It's been a few days since tubbo started to avoid tommy on his own, in those few days he’s rethought their relationship maybe a hundred times, I mean what kind of friend is he if avoids tommy at all cost.

Tubbo and tommy are hanging out in there old tree-house, the one they would go to when phil and wilbur got too much or when his dad got to much or too drunk, which has gotten rarer over the years mind you, and just talking about what tubbo has no idea, he’s to focused on the freckles adorning tommy’s cheek like a thousand little kisses, and he can’t help but trace them all with his eyes, but he must have started to actually trace them because a second or so later tommy stopped talking and tubbo’s hand was on his cheek, following every pattern with his thumb watching as tommy turned as pink as the sunset, stammering and asking tubbo what he’s doing, and tubbo just stares, the only thing he can think about is how pretty the boy in front of him is, and, without thinking mind, he leans forward and kisses tommy, gently, and on the mouth.

Tubbo shoots up from his bed at the sound of his alarm as red as a beet, because holy hell, he likes tommy!

Tubbo spends the entire day searching for tommy but kind find him anywhere, and when he asked one of his teachers she informed him that tommy hadn’t been here for a few days, which worried him deeply, I mean tommy normally texts him when he’ll skip and ask if they want to go together, although he guesses that the treatment is far given how he’s been behaving recently

Tubbo had skipped the rest of school to go looking for tommy, he wasn’t in his room, nor the park, not even the gas station or their pizza place, so now he’s wandering through old abandoned cul-de-sac’s hollering his name before he stops at one and sees the golden hair that he immediately recognizes as tommy’s. He starts running towards the house relief short lived once he realized what was happening, so he starts yelling “TOMMY GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE!!” panting tubbo reaches the side of the street the house is on tubbo yells again “TOM-”

He doesn’t know whether to scream or cry because tommy, his freckled boy, his sunshine, his best friend, jumped, he jumped like it was the easiest thing to do like noone would’ve missed him. He probably thought they wouldn’t a dark secluded part of his brain informs him, and oh if that isn’t one of the saddest things he could ever hear. Before he knew it he was sitting next to tommy in an ambulance

The nurses had asked him to call the family so tubbo did, but noone answered, so he tried again, same response, eventually he just told the nurse that his dad was working and that his brother was in class

Tommy starts to whine, it’s the same whine he has during a nightmare, and tubbo can’t help the surge of relief that flows though him that the doctors were right and that tommy’s alive, without thinking tubbo squeezes tommy’s hand and brings his other up slowly to caress tommy’s beautiful face so happy that his freckled boy is alive, but despite himself he looks down at the chart, as if it would change as if what the doctors said was just a faint dream, because yes tommy survived, but so did his baby the child that tubbo didn’t even know Tommy had, the child that he doesn’t even know if tommy knew he had

Survived

[random-person-soyeah]

Swear on my life I always try (but in my eyes I can fly)

Tommy had stopped going to school after that day in the bathroom. His original plan was to just hang out with dream all day, until he managed to find another phone in dreams room which was filled with pictures of him, he even had the creepy stalker number, he ran out of the house as soon as he could and blocked both dream and the stalker which he should have done awhile ago if he’s being honest. Now to hide from his dad and brother (because wilbur still sucks, and will tell phil) that he’s skipping he hides either at the gas station or in an abandoned house he found that was two stories top with a cellar, at least he thinks that’s what there called, and just gets high, because alcohol still makes him feel sick, and he’s probably addicted at this rate, but whatever.

Today tommy was at the abandoned house that he’s named his base and getting high, well, more specifically he’s on the roof getting high because this was one of those houses with a small attic that had a window leading too (mostly) flat roof, which honestly just gives him another way to get in so it’s definitely a design flaw. Tubbo would probably start talking about how easy it would be to sneak in and hide a glitter bomb somewhere, he’d definitely convince tommy to help too and they’d be hiding in the bushes laughing once it went off. He really, really missed tubbo, hell he still has no idea why they stopped talking, but tommy knows that it was, most definitely, something he did, and he really, really just wants to walk up to him ask what he did so he can fix it, so they can go back to be normal, but he also knows that he should know what he did, that he shouldn’t need tubbo to tell him. But he cant think of anything, and he hates it! He doesn’t know why tubbo left, why drista avoids him, why dream took those stupid photos, why he let him, why he’s been throwing up every morning, why wilbur hits him, why phil hates tommy enough to let him, why techno hasn’t, even once, contacted him, why his mom died, or why he’s so useless, he does, however, thinks he knows how to fix it, how to make everyone happy again.

Before tommy can second guess himself he’s already stood up and walked towards the ledge.

He hears someone yelling, it sounds like tubbo.

Before anyone can blink tommy steps forward.

And he jumps off the building.

[random-person-soyeah]

don’t mind the blood in the sink (its been a bad -week- life)

Its been almost a week since tommy had that first drink and maybe 6 days? Since he’s met dream, he met dream through his partner for the ela project, her name is drista, and they met up at her house for the project, and dream had brought them snacks and ordered them pizza, drista seemed a little distant and, worried? When dream was around. Tommy has no clue why I mean dream’s the best, and quite frankly he might be a little too fucked to question why his names dream, or why his eyes linger to long, or how its weird that a man who’s around his brothers age is hanging out with him and inviting him too parties but oh well he’s sure its finneeeeee. But ever since he met dream the pictures and videos sent have ramped up, he’s had 28 pictures and 20 videos if he’s remembered correctly but its hard to tell with the buzzing in the back of his brain taking all his attention, he’s also very confused by drista whose been ignoring him ever since the project. Worst part about it is that she made friends with tubbo and had been hanging out with him ALL THE TIME, even on the bus, which means tommy can’t especially because she’ll drag him away whenever she sees tommy. The actual worst part is that tubbo doesn’t even fight it and has been starting to ignore tommy even on his own, which means that he lost a friend and he doesn’t even know why! Dream still hangs out with him though even invited him to a college party that’s being thrown! Tommy can’t wait!

Wilbur was there, I mean he didn’t see tommy or anything, but holy hell he almost did, dream had THANKFULLY blocked wil’s view of him which he will forever be thankful for especially since he is far to intoxicated to even think of a way to escape.

Dream must have noticed how drunk he was because the next thing he knows he’s being led to one of the spare bedrooms to rest, which honestly sounds like heaven for his headache. But he know he didn’t rest, he just doesn’t remember what they did instead its weird and he’s to scared to ask dream and accidentally offend him so he just, doesn’t know.

Tommy is currently bent over the toilet turning his stomach inside out, he doesn’t even know why! He didn’t receive any photos he hasn’t drunken anything since party two days ago, and he managed to eat some crackers, although he does have an urge to eat pickles for some reason. Anyway he’s throwing up with no clue why at like 6 in the morning ON A SCHOOL DAY, and he knows phil wouldn’t let him stay home anyway even if he was sick so he just has to suck it up, maybe tubbo has- wait tubbo’s not speaking to him, right. Well he could go to dreams and ask him for help but he really doesn’t want to seem needy, and besides dream will probably make fun of him anyway. He hates this, he really, like, really hates this. He just wants his best friend back. He really wishes he never took that first drink.

It's been a day maybe two since he threw up and its still happening, he took his temperature and it was normal he still has no idea why he’s throwing up. He’s still been hanging out with dream, hell maybe even more than before, and dream has been giving him weed and such since alcohol is making him throw up again. Which is why right now while he’s back at home alone wishes to call tubbo but refusing to fall first he was holding onto the joint like its his last lifeline, it’s also probably why he’s in the bathroom breaking phil’s rules and locking all doors with a razor in his hand, blood running down his arm dripping into the sink, line after line on his arm before he even realized he was in the bathroom. He has no idea how or when he got here, nor where he got the blade. I mean he doesn’t even own a pencil sharpener, so where in the hell did he get is?

And why is the world spinning.

He thought it been a week, its been closer to a month

[random-person-soyeah]

Chasing a drink (with no intention to leave)

~《\|•|/》~

5:30PM

Its been 12 minutes since tommy received the.. disturbing images of him, and he hasn’t moved, like, at all, he doesn’t even think he can. I mean someone sent him a video of himself CHANGING, at school and he swears they’re was noone there. But there had to have been and the angle could have only been taken where he could’ve seen them, was he too caught up in his own thoughts to see someone watching him change? He knows it wasn’t the girls in his class he changed after they all left. But then who else could it be? Who would know where he was, much less where he lives? And how the fuck hadn’t he noticed someone in his room!? He feel like he should’ve known at some point or for some reason woke up, I mean he’s not that deep of a sleeper, he can’t be in this house, but somehow the creep managed to get in his room, and close enough to take a picture, all without him noticing. Throwing down his phone tommy runs into the bathroom keeling over the toilet and throwing up his non-existent lunch. Stomach acid stinging his throat and his eyes tearing up, and hair falling into his face arms and legs shaking in the still dark room before he manages to hiccup out a sob, and crawl onto the ground curling up in a fetal position.

He's been curled up on the ground for maybe thirty minutes he stopped crying within the first ten but his vision is still blurring around the edges his nose running, snot pooling out that he doesn’t have the energy to wipe away, mouth dry with his tongue sticking to his teeth in a way that makes the bile want to climb back up his throat, his skin feel sticky and gross and he knows he looks like a mess, probably worse, he also knows that he should get up and do something, ANYTHING but he can’t its like the energy has been drained out of him and he cant stop himself from thinking that it was his own fault I mean he could’ve noticed, hell he should’ve noticed, that someone was there he could’ve stopped it even if he had no idea it was happening he still could’ve stopped it but he didn’t, that makes it his fault doesn’t it? He didn’t do ANYTHING the prevent it so it’s on him all of it, he has no reason to cry it was his own fault.

He must have passed out at some point because the next thing he knows wilbur is shaking him awake mutter and mumbling something about how gross he is, tommy cant bring himself to respond more than standing up and moving to the door collapsing onto his bed the second it’s in his line of sight his hands gripping the pillow shakily his head buried deep into his pillow only looking up the see his clock 7:45PM huh guess he’d been in there longer than expected. He knows that he should get up and eat, the bone crushing hollow feeling being a statement of that. But he just.. can’t. No matter how much he tries he just can’t force his body to move, let alone get up, and every time he even thinks about food he feels the bile climbing his throat again, and his eyelids feel to heavy his head to full of cotton his ears fuzzy everything feels like too much, too heavy, too light, too dark, too bright, it a mix of everything and its giving him a headache. A headache that stops the rest of his body from lolling him to sleep, like a dagger to the head or being pricked by needles, a hammer being bashed into his skull would be less painful, but at the same time more, it’s a painful feeling but the pain still drew him into a twisted pain filled slumber, where every move, every brush of wind, every moment spent existing causes another sharp pain to go through his body

~《\|•|/》~

6:00AM

The blaring of his alarm woke him up, but it was still a struggle to try to untangle himself out of bed even more effort to try and peel his clothes off, he almost fell while trying to get into the shower the water almost weighing too much making him need to lean against the wall barley being able to wash himself off but he manages, he manages to put on his clothes, he manages to go into his room, and he is forever grateful that his period stopped the other day, he, however, cant bring himself to do anything other than sit on his bed and just stare at the chat log, tommy still has no idea how this happened, how he’d been so blind and stupid, I mean this is the second time something like this has happened, all he can here is phil’s voice Repeating in his head that he’s just being crazy, his brother would never do anything like that, he needs to stop seeking everybody’s attention with lies, and that he caused his older brother to be taken away with his lies about wil, this is his fault as well I mean he’s clearly being over dramatic again, its not like they touched him, (but they came oh so close, he can still feel the hands and he hates it GET OFF GET THEM OFF) he’s just being overdramatic he is fine.

7:50AM

Tommy is sitting in the seat next to tubbo whose ranting about something that tommy can’t make out, his mind is somewhere else entirely and he just wants to go to sleep and never get up. That sounded dark, its not even that he wants to die he's just really tired, right? I mean its not like he has a reason to wanna die. His life is just fine I mean he has luxuries most kids his age don’t, and he knows that, but for some reason it doesn’t stop the want to hurt or die, its like a black void in his heart that he’s to ashamed to share or think of. But its always in the back of his mind, like a nagging feeling or want that needs to be filled before he explodes.

9:30AM

Not even a full class period later and tommy decided to skip the rest of the day, he only texted tubbo to let him know that he didn’t feel well before heading to the gas station, browsing the shelves before he stops on the alcohol, and don’t get him wrong he knows he shouldn’t, but it is oh so very tempting, looking up he makes sure noone is looking and slips one of the smaller bottles into his bag making sure to grab two just in case before walking up towards the front with a pack of gums, paying and leaving. Tommy made it home without anyone seeing him and he knows that noone is home as all the lights are off and his fathers car isn’t in the drive way. Making his way up to his room his harder than it needs to be especially with how fragile his bones feel, like they’ll break soon, tommy really should’ve eaten and really should eat but the thought of food still makes him want to throw up. In his room he takes out the two bottles and once again he mentally battles if he should but eventually that nagging part of his brain, the part that’s been itching to do something, to make himself so dirty even tubbo wouldn't want him, wins and he takes a drink of the first bottle that he recognizes as vodka and his world goes blurry as he sits down at the desk and his throat burns from the liquid going down it he can’t help the tears from falling down his face and onto his hoodie, nor can he stop the burning of the liquid, but he does know that its stopped the buzzing and near constant jabbing of a headache, he knows that all his pain is muffled and he can’t help but wonder if this is why wil always has a bottle or why phil choses chasing down a drink at the bar over staying home with him. He cant help but think that it’s a fair thought to chose this numbness over him, he thinks he would as well.

[random-person-soyeah]

Pictures taken but no one was there (lock your window at night)

Tommy had barley finished cleaning when phil got home and was then sent to go cook their dinner, that he wasn’t even allowed to eat it do to ‘ruining the couch’ and ‘not being prepared’ (yeah fuck this) and he was so hungry as well!

He woke up the next day to a blaring alarm unusually tired, with a headache, and a pain on and in his chest that he knows comes from him sleeping in his bandages but he refuses to acknowledge grumbling he turned over and shut off his alarm clock noting that it read 6:00AM [an ungodly hour to wake if you ask him] none the less he started dragging himself from his bed and to his dresser, it wasn’t that hard, even with the weight of tiredness still loomed over him, making it to and in the shower was a different story, first he had to make sure Wilbur was still asleep and unable to barge in (despite his protest he couldn’t lock the door to wil’s room in the bathroom), then he put a towel over the mirror, and only after that, was he able to start undressing, flinching as he started removing the bandages refusing to look down but most certain he had bruising on his ribs, after he finished he stepped into the shower, still refusing to look down, and started showering making it as quick as possible, not touching what wasn’t necessary, he ended up done in probably four minutes, dried in less than one, and head into his room to start dressing right as he started to close the door he heard the other one open and a hungover Wilbur stumbling in. he then blocked off the door with his desk chair, and then started to dress it took 5 minutes only cause he was attempting to avoid the bruises forming on his torso, after dressing he looked back at the clock 6:18AM blinking back at him, what was he to do now? Tubbo didn’t get up till 7 and he definitely didn’t want to talk to his father or brother and breakfast wasn’t something he wanted, after about thirty seconds he realized he forgot to put on a pad and Wilbur was still in the bathroom, the only one with the pads in them, after debating and realizing his pants would probably get stained, and he does NOT want to deal with that, so he slowly removes the chair and knocks on the door asking if anyone’s in there when that gained no answer he pushed open the door – thankfully it was empty – and he went to go put on a pad happy to find no stains before grabbing some extra’s and leaving looking down at his alarm clock proves it to be 6:30 if he doesn’t start heading down stairs he probably wont get breakfast but he doesn’t think he can stomach anything right now, though he has no clue why, I mean just last night he was super hungry and now he’ll just like.. throw up? From eating? Its weird. He doesn’t like the feeling, its like his empty and full all at once, like if you filled up a bottle with air all the way. It makes him feel squirmy.

DING

But before he could finish his train of thought his phone had gone off, he checked the time before grabbing it 6:40AM, had he really just been standing here for that long? Oh well at least he knows its not tubbo although that doesn’t really calm his nerves

UNKNOWN NUMBER

Be carful tommy

Who is this

You got a smiley on your trail

A what?

Watch for the windows

What does that even mean?

Hello?

</[THIS NUMBER IS UNAVALIBLE]\>

….

Okay what the fuck? Is this like a prank or something? ‘a smiley on your trail’ what does that even mean?

Fucking crazy people. Although tommy must admit he is a little nervous. But oh well cant let himself be scared by a drug addict.

DING

Oh dear fuck not again

UNKNOWN NUMBER

{</10H:30M:44S\>}

Once again, what the fuck

Who the hell gave his number out to these people. Also what the hell is it counting down to? He curios but aint no way in hell is he engaging again learned his lesson last time, fuck this

6:48AM

….

7:25AM

The rest of the morning was a blur, he had just stayed in his room till tubbo texted that the bus was, maybe, a street or two down from his house causing him to rush and put an is shoes, making sure to grab his bag on his way out of his room and running down to the bus stop right as the bus pulled up, tubbo was waving at him through the window as he walks up and quickly gets on, sitting down next to tubbo and listening to him talk about the bee’s and ducks’ his dad let him get (ducks were his mother’s favorite so he and tommy always make sure to send some duck clips- or other items -to her hospital since they’re not allowed to visit just like they gave his mother crow drawings before she died went away) he doesn’t say anything about the messages.

He should have

8:30AM

English sucks. Like genuinely why does he need to read a play that some dead guy wrote back in 1800 something or other.

He does feel bad for Juliet though cause, like, girl was a VICTIM! WHO THE HELL TRIES TO MARRY A 13-YEAR-OLD! My poor girl was surrounded by pedo’s, like call cps seriously, Jesuses h. Christ

Anyway that’s not the point the point is English sucks, and he wants to leave, like, now.

9:24AM

Finally the bell rings and as soon as it tommy is half way towards the door, he and tubbo were gonna meet up and walk to P.E. together (thank whatever gods that they share that class) after P.E. tommy has home ec then lunch and after that he has one of his favorite classes, theater, yeah he gets that it’s a little weird but I mean come on not only do the actors get to be ANYONE the stage crew gets to basically control everything and mess with the actors in smaller ways, PLUS his all time favorite teacher is the one running it! And bad is AWSOME! He leaves tommy some extra food if he hadn’t eaten, lets him and tubbo eat in his class when wanted, doesn’t get upset at him being loud and blunt or fidgety like his family and other teachers, he even let tommy keep a spider that he found as a class pet! Well it was more his and tommy’s pet, but the other kids liked him too (tommy had named them shroud matching them with clementine the moth who hangs out by his desk because of the glow ring.. thing) point is he is happy for after lunch and most likely lunch aswell. He hadn’t actually built up more of an appetite since this morning but he’s hoping pe will help him empty his stomach... or atleast fill him with hunger because if he doesn’t eat it’s gonna come full force right back at him and that’ll suck, but seriously he needs to find tubbo “TOMMY!” there he is! Running over towards tubbo whose also running towards him and meets him in a hug pulling back they start to walk towards the gym talking about one thing or another never staying on one topic for more then a few sentences before getting to the gym doors and walking in heading straight for the locker rooms tommy sadly not being allowed into the boys locker room still due to his father not being aware of his.. situation, and like don’t get him wrong he really, really wants to tell him and Mr. Bad have been trying to help him come out, even offering him a room in his home if things go south, which he will forever be grateful for, but he doesn’t know what reaction to expect from him and he is scared hates the idea of his father and brother being upset with him about this, their relationship is already so strained and he doesn’t want to test it, and DEFINITLY doesn’t want them to tell techno, he hasn’t seen the boy since he was five, when wilbur wasn’t broken, when their dad was nice, when their mom was alive, when he had long blonde hair, when he wore those stupid dresses, when he wasn’t tommy, when he was never yelled at, before techno was taken, before the blood, when he was called Tova instead of tommy, when being a boy was only something he could read about, when Theseus was only a character from his brothers favorite myth, when it wasn’t who he was, tommy doesn’t think he could deal with techno not liking him, he can deal with phils yelling, wilburs hits, his teachers disapproving stares, the look of disgust of his peers, but he doesn’t think he handle if techno looked at him like that, hurting him like that, or even thinking of him like that, he couldn’t and he knows it.

By the time his thoughts quite he’s already in the locker room and changed into his gym clothes, his gross, tight, and far to short, gym clothes. He really doesn’t want to be here and starts debating if he should just skip the class all together and roam the halls instead, his father shouldn’t be coherent enough to remember any call from the school and his brother isn’t listed as a contact so there wouldn’t be any consequences at home.

In the end he scrapped that idea and went anyway, with his jacket tied around his waist because for some ungodly reason the girls uniform has extremely short white shorts (seriously though why) and just stands by the wall waiting for tubs to get out, his attention migrating to his phone planning on texting him when his attention was drawn to the timer sent earlier that now read

{</7H:47M:59S\>}

It was honestly setting his nerves a blaze, what was gonna happen in 7 hours [he thinks it’ll be around 5] was it something bad? Was this mystery person just trying to mess with him? Before he could spiral more h feels a tap on his shoulder and snaps his head over to the person now revealed to be tubbo, who is wearing a lopsided grin with a glint in his eyes that just screams ‘I did something and you wont know till you see it’ which is never good for the adults grey hair, or, on occasion, other peoples hair. “what did you do?” tommy says with a groan shaking his head and burying his face in his hands "whatever do you mean dear theseus" tubbo says with a fauxe innocence drowning his voice hands hidden behind his back all while avoiding eye contact. Tommy slowly looks behind tubbo to spot another student running around yelling about a bee in their hair. In a monotone voice tommy askes “so you didn’t unleash a bee on the kid behind you” all he gains in response was tubbo whistling and swaying on his heel, looking soley at the speaker that looks like it stopped working in 1933 causing a sigh and fond voice mumbling “beeboy” tubbo’s whispered “dam straight” not going unnoticed by the former

.

.

.

The class ended up canceled once the teacher realized there was more than one bee

12:30PM

{</4H47M29S\>}

Tommy and tubbo sat in Mr. Halo’s class during lunch [again] and are going on about a bunch of things ranging from assignments to what they hopes for lunch that day to what show they want to watch Mr. Halo joins in occasionally to add his two cents while grading what he has too grade tommy has no idea, I mean it’s not like he gives out assignments.. actually he teach home ec [one other than tommy’s sadly] so he probably does never mind.

As tommy and tubbo are throwing away their trays because class will start in maybe 5 minutes tubbo decides to make an apparent concern known in form of a whisper “you okay toms you didn’t really eat much today” tommy paused to look at tubbo “yeah just not hungry” he stats whispering just as loud and smiling a toothy smile

5:17PM

{</0H0M50S\>}

Tommy hadn’t really been there, mentally he means, for the rest of the day, and he knows he’ll have to go down for dinner eventually, if not to eat then to cook, but he cant, he doesn’t know why but he cant get up from his desk staring at the timer waiting for it to go off. Time didn’t quell, quill? stop his anxiety from rising I mean what is gonna happen? Will it be something bad? Is it just tubbo or wilburs idea of a prank?

10 he’s panicking too much

9 but what if he’s right and its something bad

8 should he have made sure they had the right number?

7 it is probably just a prank

6 or just there to freak him out

5 which would be very rude

4 maybe he can ignore it?

3 he probably cant

2 oh prime he should’ve told tubbo about this

1..

DING

UNKNOWN NUMBER

[IMAGE-FROM-WINDOW1]

[IMAGE-FROM-WINDOW2]

[IMAGE-PARK]

[IMAGE-SCHOOL]

[IMAGE-STORE]

[VIDEO-WALKING-HOME]

[VIDEO-WINDOWVIEW-COOKING]

[IMAGE-SLEEPING]

[IMAGE-ENGLISH-READING]

[VIDEO-CHANGING-GYM-PARTIALBLOCK]

.

.

.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

[random-person-soyeah]

Hospital friends (and others)

Shopping in red and orange (with glass on the ground and a bottle in your hand)

Shitty,

That's how one would describe Tommy's Sunday morning. First thing he sees as soon as he opens his eyes is his older brother Wilbur just standing over him and staring, I don't even think he was blinking, which is, like, really concerning! How does he do that!? Why does he do that?! And no Phil, I'm not being overdramatic! He's creepy!! We got off topic anyway after that he happened to fall down the THREE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!! WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE SO MANY STAIRS! Then his cereal was stale, and the milk was spoiled. He had to do a bucket load of dishes cause Wilbur forgot to do his last night, THEN he had to water the plants WHICH ISN'T EVEN HIS FUCKING CHORE! On Top of that he realized that they didn’t have any more pads only AFTER he took his off So he had to send phil to get them for him and he comes back almost two hours layer WITHOUT ANY, wilbur literally dragged him out of the bathroom where phil told him he was being over dramatic and refused to go get any more pads, then like thirty minutes later phil yells at him because barely any blood got onto the couch and made him SUPER SCRUB THE ENTIRE COUCH! them go to the store without changing to get pads on his own,

which is where he is now at 11:05 in the personal care aisle wearing soaked through pajama pants and only a jacket to cover it buying pads and ranting to tubbo on the phone about all the shit that's been happening, mainly the 10 page history essay to tomorrow that he hadn't even started yet, but oh well, he’ll cross that bridge when he gets there for now he has bigger things to worry about, namely how to pay. He was to preoccupied being shoved out of the door to remember to grab his wallet from upstairs, I mean he could always just not pay but it feels wrong to try, and damn near impossible especially with one of the employees watching him like a hawk, and he refuses to give in and call his family for help, they probably wouldn't anyway! They’d probably view it as some kind of ‘teaching moment’ so that sucks then a hand landed on his shoulder and tommy totally didn’t damn near jumped out of his own skin with how startled he’d been at the sudden contact that’d be craaaaaaaaazzzyyyyyyy…. but before he could react a voice distracts him “do you need any help sir?” the red-headed girl who looked his age maybe a year or two older asked some of her fiery red hair tucked behind her green eyes soft and questioning “Ah- no, thank you though” at that the worker tilts her head ever so slightly and politely smiles before speaking again “you've been standing there looking over the products and talking for almost 25 minutes now” oh he didn't realize that it’d been that long “yeah sorry just- figuring things out” he replied a little to sheepish for his like but oh well. “You don't have money on you, do you?” the worker askes tone still gentle, her smile never leaving her face tommy shrinks in on himself looking down at the ground and shakes his head prepared to be kicked out but instead of doing that the nice worker with red hair instead she pulls out ten dollars and presses it into his palm turning and walking away before either can say anything.

The rest of his trip was very uneventful, however coming home was not, he walked home with the familiar feeling of eyes that have been following him all week- hell maybe month – he was starting to get creeped out - ! And the second he opened the door a bottle flew right by his head. Never a good sign. Looking over he sees wilbur, clearly drunk and mumbling about one thing or another, no one really knows but he was obviously upset, and phil was nowhere in sight, hell his car wasn’t even in the driveway, so now, as always, its tommy’s problem. Its not like he could just leave him alone either the phil would yell at HIM for the mess and not wil, although now that I think about it, I don’t think phil has ever yelled at wil for his drunken fueled messes, but that is neither here nor there, it looks like tommy will ha-

Smash, crack

Well shit

[random-person-soyeah]

Any name ideas for the next chapter?

[random-person-soyeah]

I hate using word but I refuse to stop 😅😭

[random-person-soyeah]

Fanart I made

☺️