raspberrytorte-sosa

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

My Diary:

Hello friends, passerby’s, stalkers, and whatever little weirdo stumbled upon my page. This is an updated greeting as of, June 20th. I’ve deserted this diary for a while... read and dig through to know why but i’m am sorta kinda back.

Get to know me here and I shall the same to you. Ask me questions, read my crazy stories, and if you want to let’s make a community. Thus has become a safe spot for me so any other teenage girls just gliding their way through life and/or possible struggling with mental health, home lives, or just life in general (like actually) let’s help each other out. If you aren’t interested or do not like me simply don’t read.... why your stalking a diary of a young girl or someone you do not like is beyond me. Everything stated is based on a girls real life experience however may or may not be modified, so this cannot be used against me. (for legal reasoning... i have a very active imagination)

Welcome to my dumb little diary, dolls. (Bummer Summer Edition)

Little knows about me:

aquarius

coraline

dark psychology

fashionista

cherry blossoms

anime

unique

adhd amongst other things

all things abnormal, weird, unique

at least eighteen

i’m a weirdo…

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

I’m Coming Back?

Jeez April 20th, if i had any friends my distance from what’s now my favorite app would be frightening and for some on here who thought to check in ;) thx it kinda was lol.

I guess talking about my depression episode then going dark is kinda alarming to people?

But i think im coming back. I wanna redo this diary and really try and connect with people again. Even if its all online :)

see you soon, maybe,

sosanna.

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

Wait (My Indecisiveness)

i kinda wanna start over this blog.... or at least redesign and organize all my post and stuff...

ughhh why am i like this!!!!

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

I do not know many girls who commit self harm but sadly I do know a few

I do not know many girls who walked into a dark place of self destruction but sadly I do know a few

I do not know many girls who have lost any sense of what a good loving relationship is like but sadly I do know a few

I do not know many girls who have an unhealthy sense of what sex and sexuality should be but sadly I do know a few

I do not know many girls who entered the sad cycle of abusive relationships but sadly I do know a few.

What I also know is that every single one of them, before they went down that road, they were harmed, used, betrayed and abused by a man.

I will remind everyone that this world is absolutely FULL of good men but too many have lost how to recognize it or lost the courage to call out the bad ones. Find your Knight, a true one, I know they still exist.

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

Life Update

rearranged my room again... lol.

Actually i haven’t done that in two months more so three and for me that’s a record.

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

I love Tumblring in a different state, in front of a coffee shop, casually sipping and judging this who walk by while scrolling on depop looking for rare items…

This is my aesthetic.

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ima take my lil booty to bed now night night 🌙🌙👅

Micheal Jackson needs to be here I swear to goddddddddd

ITS NOT FAIR!!!

IM INFATUATED WITH A MAN GONE BEFORE I WAS CONSCIOUS THATS HOW YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE IS REAL!!!

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

Even if I don’t acknowledge, I’ll be the one in the group to continue to listen to your talking even when everyone else has moved passed your topic.

And if I move along with them, rest assured I’ll be the one to come back to our conversation later. Especially with my overthinking lol

“I notice you, I want to say. Even when no one else does, I do. I will.”

— David Levithan, Every Day

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

Women of all ages need to always remember that we need to not only support each other but we need to support each other in different ways. Some need advice about dating and others need advice about school and careers, some need advice about dealing with their past and others about their future. Some need girly advice and others need advice and how to be strong and fierce. Some need support because of self esteem issues and what could cause harm to it and what could cause harm to others around us. I see different fights for different females in so many ways and how we help each other can not be cookie cutter or a carbon copy of what we think works. It takes more because each wound is different, it takes patience because some wounds are deep and it takes understanding because each mind, heart and soul carries a different pain.

I love you all 🫶🫶

-B

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

Naked

can’t wait to have my own apartment so i can walk around in lingerie

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today is such a draggg.

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i want to be watching Coraline right now…..

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…. my freaking phones off again. Not totally being poor but being financially unstable is such a weird bridge.

How do I explain my family can afford a two story house but not my phone bill every month… or new clothes.

Living like i’m poor but always living under a roof that look like im well off. Very misleading. Sometimes I’d rather just be totally unfortunate. Even people i’ve know struggling down that path get new clothes or eat more meals a day than I…

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

my parents are arguing on the phone..lol

feels like the olden days :) :/

just like the good ole days

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

Just a lil poem I wrote, Not an inspired original, just original. was in the feels...

Spring has sprung and flowers are in bloom,

Inevitable, a must, I face a pending doom.

I don’t bloom like flowers and my weeds tend to rot, but I’ll hope one day I’ll bloom with all that I’ve got.

I don’t bloom like flowers,

Plant the seed and I stay still,

I’ve been under ground for so long, I can’t even grow against my will.

Im surrounded by darkness, the light so dim,

There’s a little hole so tempting, ‘I must break free’, a thought, just a whim.

I don’t know when I’ll bloom, I’m all alone waiting,

Months turn into years, suddenly I don’t know what I’m chasing.

The flowers bloom from within, I know that’s a saying,

But a saying isn’t reality, I’m just a seedling waiting.

I don’t bloom, I don’t grow, I’m not even a sprout, I think I should just let go.

My beautiful Cherry blossoms, how I admire,

The thought of seeing them some day, only keeping me going,

In hopes I’ll bloom just like them, who’s all knowing?

Ive been stuck, trapped, in a hollow, black, dull, hole for some time now. I often feel like a needle in a haystack. A seed with no water. A special seed lodged in soul, not fit for its growth. I’m surrounded by an environment not catered to my abilities. A chrysanthemum like me surrounded by roses appearing dull at first sight only due to my inability to shine when inevitably all I look is different.

I’m so stuck. I feel so behind. When’s my time to shine. I really feel like giving up guys. I don’t want to see another year of the same day again. I refuse. It sucks being so much light and either shining too bright or not being able to shine at all. Like i’m a spiraling, adhd monster who needs medicine.

I’ve outgrown mentally all I am physically, now i’m stuck in used skin I simply cannot peel.

Advice?

- Sosanna

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

Happy Birthday To My Favorite Naruto Girl: 💗 🌸

My Twinnem also Kushina ;)

My little Sakura blossom, My cherry girl happy birthday!!! I used to wanna BE Sakura when I was twelve lol!!

[raspberrytorte-sosa]

Going to Tennessee In A Few Weeks!?! possibly

Okay, get to know me real quick, when my family goes on a trip it’s for one of few reasons. (Skip to “questions” if you aren’t interested in extra talk)

Business trip, my mums business trips ofc

Spontaneous trip that happens once a year and we usual just go to Miami and stay in the exact same low rent but homey resort we always do.

The only time we go out of state is on business. Like wise my mother has business but we’re staying to sight see nonetheless. We did this about two years ago when we visited Charlotte. Ironic we moved to North Carolina a few months later spontaneously. Worst decision ever even though I love the state by itself better than the one I grew up in.

I’m excited all over though. As we know me, Sosanna loves travel and learning about new culture and I loveeee a road trip. Enough about myself now. Let’s talk the trip. Oh! I also forgot to mention, I don’t do trip like the usual teenage girl. If you’ve actually been paying attention to my get to know me post you’d know my adolescence hasn’t been the exact norm. I don’t have fancy or even new clothes to bring. I don’t own many jewelry. I don’t own makeup or even cute bags for my perfume. Only owing one real perfume that isn’t bath and body works. I pack of maybe four outfits solely for “vacationing” and add my day to day repeat outfits and call it a trip. I wish more than anything my wardrobe be expanded by now but unfortunately that isn’t the case for me or my life. Being a fashion designer and having a unique eye, you can only imagine the pain I go through with my very limited and bland closet. My Pinterest boards prove how unique and actually fashion oriented I am as opposed to most idk “influencers” who claim to be but then go on trip to Paris wearing the most bland beige outfits claiming to be fashion experts.

Anyway, i’m making a clothing vision board. I do this all the time, my outfits look nothing like what I want, but it’s fun to envision anyway! So let’s do it together!

My Ideal Aesthetic for this trip: Slouchy, Layered, Comfortable, Eye Catching, Flirty, Aesthetically Pleasing, Farmers daughter, Small town girl

Ex.

Questions:

Where to get flirty thigh high and fun sock?

Where to find cheap belts, scarves, cool style hats?

Where to find these styles now a days?

Thanks,

Sosa 💋