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[read42]

He will bring balance. 🤌🏼

[read42]

I sigh, my legs falling freely softly swaying, as I sit on the desk contemplating my life or the lack thereof. Vader looks at me silently and speaks up, "what is bothering you, my precious star?" I look at him wondering if he could be serious.

"My life has been stolen" I reply.

Vader looks at me coldly "No I have brought you here to this palace and provided you with wealth and luxury" he pauses glancing around, "look at all the beautiful things we have here".

I scoff, "beautiful things? What about my freedom? What about that or love? REAL love."

"My dear wife, my love for you is true. You are a rare beauty, and I will take care of you. Your freedom must be sacrificed for you to understand my desire to keep you safe."

He approaches me and puts his arm around my shoulders.

"Do you not love me?" He questions.

I laugh loudly causing him to look at me in anger.

"No. Not at all. You are psychotic" I smile sarcastically.

He smiles coldly. "There is no need for harsh words" he pauses.

"I have given you a privileged life, and you will learn to love me in time. Now, enough sadness, no more tears."

I scoff for a second time. "I will not shed tears over the likes of you."

"My little star, your defiance does not entertain me. Do you not understand the consequences of your actions?"

He walks in front of you now, his stature towering over me.

"I will not be talked to like I am some common pest. I will be loved and appreciated."

"Careful you sound desperate." I say snidely.

"My star, you must understand it is your place to make me happy, to please me." He leans down close to me, his face is just inches from my own, his breath fanning on my neck.

"I am a Sith Lord. I am not to be disappointed."

"A shame because you certainly disappoint me my lord" I hiss out.

He grips my chin tightly and looks into my eyes and for a split second, I can feel his anger. He takes his other hand and smacks me across the face, his voice cold and calm.

"My darling little star, I do not take these insults from you lightly."

I grunt in pain at the impact.

"I am not to be defied." He says

his expression softening a touch as he looks at me, his breath and face close to mine.

"Star please do not make me punish you again." I shiver in slight fear.

"I hate you" I say venom in my words.

he smiles and caresses my hand, his expression now seemingly showing real care or something similar to it.

"How could you ever say that to me? After all that I have given you?"

"Your crazy do you understand this? You are crazy." I spat out at him.

"My precious little star, you must learn to respect to me. I have been far too generous with you, and you have taken advantage. No more." He grabs me and lifts me up to his eye-level, his breath inches away from my face.

"What are you going to do?" I question him

He looks me dead in the eyes and I swear I can see in his mind, he's trying to decide what to do and is contemplating different cruel punishments, I'm sure of it.

"I... I will punish you, my love. But I will do it only because I love you dearly, otherwise I would never."

I laugh dryly, "You do not love me. This is obsession".

Vader smiles again, his expression changing from one of care to one of sadistic amusement, his eyes looking through me with pleasure and amusement

"My star, you are right. In fact I do not love you, I desire you. After all, the feeling of possession drives me more than the feeling of loving another."

his eyes assess me up and down whilst staring at me with clear lust in his eyes

"You're sick" I whimper slowly inching back

He leans down to me and whispers....his lips right next to my ear, "I am, aren't I? Oh how I love it."

His tone is dark, his smile evil, "and now, my love, it is punishment time." he smirks

"No wait!" I all but scream.

I'm pinned down to the wall behind me and he moves in much closer then before as if he was about to give me a kiss. His breathing is shallow and he is looking at me with some type of hunger

"No use trying to beg my little star." he whispers "your protests arouse me. Now, I am going to show you what a punishment is like."

"You can pretend all you want Vader... but I will never be her..."

The expression on his face turns from amusement and lust, to anger and frustration.

"Yes, I know, my dear. I will never have the real Padmè and the love she felt for me. You are nothing to me but a sad replacement that I will now have the pleasure to abuse."

"She'd be disgusted and so disappointed" I say trying to play on his emotions. He doesn't bat an eyelash at you, "I can't replace her and you know it!" I begin to panic.

"Oh, don't worry, my dear. I do not intend to make you into her. But, because you do remind me of her so much, I will remind myself of her through you." his grip on me tightens, he brings his lips a centimeter away from my own.

My heart thunders in my chest.. "what if I can learn to love you?!" I start trying to weasel my way out of this one.

"My dear, you do not need to learn to love me. I am your husband, and you may not have any choice in this matter. You will love me, or I will teach you to." his eyes scan up and down the length of my body, his breath heavy and shallow. His grip is very tight.

"Or rather...make you love me."

I knew I was screwed.

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And just like that, I close a chapter of my life that seemed to have been words too long.

Sometimes when I look back, it seems as though I was a whole different person back then, truthfully I never thought I’d come this far.

Here I am.

I survived.

Everything’s ok.

I made it.

I’m proud of myself.

Never again will I let another rip my freedom from underneath me.

Never again will I feel that amount of pain caused by another.

It may be hard but I promise you it’s worth it.

Choose your own peace and freedom.

Break those chains.

[read42]

I am struggling with my thoughts, my head VS my heart and I have for awhile; Which will win?

Empathy sucks but then again, so do I.

Help me love myself more and them a little less.

I want to be free like a bird soaring through the sky,

Not stuck in my own head, wishing for a miracle.

Give me strength.

A letter to me from me.