realityremedy

[realityremedy]

[realityremedy]

[realityremedy]

I have an idea to try and help myself cope with my situation by using my art skills.

Right now, the only way out of this hell I can see is getting a job and getting money for our own place. But it's all such a long slog. Even getting a job is proving to be a challenge, and then I have to save up. It feels like I'll never get there. It feels hopeless.

But maybe thinking about it like a story can help. I can even draw a comic?

I'm a traveller who's been separated from my party. I find myself trapped in a spiderweb in a cave, something like Shelob in LOTR.

I'm the healer/herbalist of the party so I don't have much in the way of weapons. I have some small degree of offensive magic capabilities, but my hands are bound by the spiderweb.

I'm going to have to struggle to get out. Every time I apply for a job, that's me flailing and struggling, trying to get free. Some of the fine threads of the web snap. It's not much, but it's progress. I just have to keep going.

If I get a job, I've managed to free a hand and I'm on the way to reaching the knife in my belt, which will make the task a little easier.

I'm not alone, though. My partner is with me. So she got trapped, too. She's also struggling. She's trying to get out.

I just have to keep struggling. It's an uphill battle, but all I can do is keep trying.

[realityremedy]

Why does she have to snap and take out her anger on us all the goddamn time?

She twisted her ankle and yelled and snapped at my wife for suggesting the hospital. And I would give her some leeway because she was in pain but I'm SO fucking worn down from having her shitty moods taken out on us Every. Single. Day.

I am so tired of us being the object of her anger. I'm so sick of the way I feel all the time. I'm sick of biting my tongue all the time and keeping it in. I'm sick of being angry.

I don't like the person I've become because she was hurt and I just... I don't care anymore. I was just mad.

I don't want to live here anymore. But there's no way I can escape for MONTHS at least.

I don't want to be dependent on weed but it's all I can do not to turn to worse coping mechanisms. If I still had a car I'd sleep in it.

I need out of here now. I want to cry because I know it's not possible.

[realityremedy]

Had a funny phone call recently. Normally I don't really answer my phone, but I've started applying for jobs, so I decided I should stop ignoring phone calls for the moment. (For context, I'm a trans man and my name has been legally changed everywhere for like...6 or 7 years?)

I picked up and the person on the other end was like "Hello is this [birthname]?"

And I paused for a moment because:

1) I didn't know what exactly the truthful answer to that was. Because like...technically no? That's not my name anymore. But I guess I am the person they're trying to reach? I don't know.

2) I didn't know who this was and if it was wise to even be honest with my answer.

But when I make snap decisions I'm usually honest without really thinking. So I was like

".... Well I haven't gone by that name in over a decade but... technically yes. How can I help you?"

There was a brief silence... and then they hung up. Lol

I think they thought I was fucking with them, but I was being honest. It was actually really funny.

[realityremedy]

My MIL and I cannot get along, but I can't get out of here yet. I don't know when I'll be able to.

I am miserable and depressed as fuck. I don't like what this has made me. I'm bitter and unhappy and really angry all the time. I get in these spirals where I just sit and spin in my head about how angry I am and revisit all the things she's done to piss me off.

I miss how kind and patient I used to be. I hope I can get that back when I escape.

It's so hard to hold on some days. I'm so tired of going to bed dreading waking up because I have to deal with her again. I don't want to go to sleep because then my time away from her ends.

I would sell an organ if it meant we could move out of here right now.

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Unbelievably dire.. how did we get here

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fat bugs *lunges at you*

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as someone who has gone long stretches without electricity, let alone an internet connection

BACK UP YOUR WORK---YES, EVEN PHYSICAL COPIES. HAVE OFFLINE RESOURCES. KEEP YOUR LANDLINE. CARRY CASH. DON'T GET IMPORTANT APPLIANCES THAT RUN ON WIFI. LEARN TO READ A PAPER MAP

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lets hear it for transgenderism and faggotry. can I get a round of applause for transgenderism and faggotry

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no lie i genuinely believe brands are so behind the pleather movement bc they can just buy cheap plastic sell it as expensive 'vegan leather' and be ready for you to return in a couple years to buy another 'vegan peeta approved™ leather jacket' bc they last like 5 minutes compared to the way leather lasts decades all the while you can pat yourself and coorporate's back for being sutainable all the while pvc (what some fake leather products are made of) has been labeled the single most environmentally damaging type of plastic and while there are non pvc fake leathers such as pu leather... its not like thats much better producing plastic pollutes and the second your pleather clothes start to breakdown (which happens much faster than you think) theyll wound up on landfills for at least a 100 years...

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what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen

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front facing egrets making me lose control of everything

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happy glorious 25th of may