redstripedrooster

[redstripedrooster]

She never existed

She might have been me

But she was never real

She was a facade you see

She lived in my skin

Used my muscles and bones

My organs were hers

The body for him and her were clones

You mourn her death

While she begs to be seen

He pushes her down

Knowing she was a costume for Halloween

He climbs to the surface

Trying so hard to get out

Yet you still see her

While inside he does loudly shout

There was a time

When she was all you knew

So I understand

Why you think he isn’t true

However, dear

What I need you to hear

Is that in this current time

Only he is near

For she has run

Far far away

Leaving only remnants behind

In what is his body today

I wish you could see

The mirrored reflection

Of which I see

It’s him who is my body’s perfection

The goal is freedom

From her chains

As he breaks free

Into new domains

I am him

I was never her

I know it’s misleading

But we always were

Him.

[redstripedrooster]

Transgender day of visibility!! I am finally able to be somewhat visible in my life. I am excited for the future of the trans community and for all the joy the community brings to those like me.

[redstripedrooster]

I still exist and my gender has been quite the journey in my absence from this platform. Currently trying to find myself and where I fit in on the gender spectrum. Connect with me if you’re trans masc like I am.

[redstripedrooster]

#literally

Trans allyship leaving y’all’s body the moment a trans man has a unique relationship with masculinity/manhood and doesn’t want to look like a cis man

[redstripedrooster]

Hey I’m still alive just so y’all know I’m lots has changed - i think I’m non-binary now

[redstripedrooster]

At the this low point when I was slumped over on the toilet at the old dive bar I've spent countless nights in googling "how to be happy" on my phone and choking back tears, I felt words roll through my brain as a near physical stabbing penetrated my soul. Sweat had beaded upon my forehead and my back felt as though I had laid in a barely filled bathtub. Forcing a smile on my face become the hardest task, occupying increasingly more energy and burning the creases on my cheeks.

I wrapped my lips around the plastic stick in my pocket, allowing the nicotine into my lungs. The sacrifice of brain cells took no toll on my emotional drive as I craved the filling of of all my dopamine receptors.

I listened in to the giggles and fake chatter beyond these 3 metal stall walls. Witnessing women create bonds with their new best friend whose name they won't remember in the morning. Love and lust being discussed with cheers and disgust.

My thumbs were stiff and my toes were shimmering with TV static. I felt my neck strain as I bit down on the fat of my lip poking between my teeth and pulsating my tongue against the roof of my mouth.

Then I stood up. Fear flushed as toilet did and the chatters stopped as I stepped beyond the door. A dozen white crop tops and leggings stared as I washed my hands. Classic prey and predator, each afraid and confused by the other. Neither I nor them felt as though I belonged there, yet where else was I to go?

[redstripedrooster]

Happy trans day of visibility!

Even though I am still not able to be fully visible in my life, I am certainly thankful for the opportunities I do have to be at lest a little visible.

[redstripedrooster]

I just LOVE pretending to be someone im not all the time every day

It's just great to have people think your a girl and shit when you aren't, so much fun

#SARCASM

[redstripedrooster]

Its pride month but i dont have any pride.....

[redstripedrooster]

“i can’t do that because of my religious beliefs”

okay

“you can’t do that because of my religious beliefs”

not okay

[redstripedrooster]

Microwaves? Heck no! We only use oven-baked Applewood Smoked bacon on the Baconator.

[redstripedrooster]

The Fosters Writers: Let's drag 6 months worth of tv time over the course of 4 years.

Also The Fosters Writers: Okay that was fun, now let's have everything happen all at once on the same day in one of the season finales.

[redstripedrooster]

Why do i love this wendys commercial so much wow

When we make the Baconator, we do it right. That’s why all six strips of bacon are applewood-smoked.

[redstripedrooster]

Just a friendly reminder that not all trans men want to be seen as helpless, soft, fragile little boys that need to be coddled and protected at all costs and just want to be seen as…men. Just men.

[redstripedrooster]

Why do the good things have to come to an end but the bad things don't?

[redstripedrooster]

Things They Didn't Put on Your Informed Consent Sheet (Written by a man at his 1-year T-versary)

You’re going to fucking stink to high heaven. That’s puberty. Get a good deodorant, shave your armpits or become a hermit. Even then, you’ll still probably stink.

Right around 3-6 months on T, you’re going to be in itchy, unbearable agony as your new hair grows in. I scratched so badly that I had welts and blisters that scarred. I’d scratch in my sleep. It never stopped. It was brutal. Hydrocortisone cream and anti-itch powders will help. Avoid having your skin damp for prolonged periods. Avoid excessive heat. Don’t wear spandex. Compression clothing such as tight boxer-briefs or binders will make it worse. Crying like a little baby does not help, but you will doubtlessly try this, no matter how manly you think you are. We are all little babies during this time.

Binding causes scars under your arms and on your shoulders. It also causes acne. Cystic acne.

T promotes muscle growth and fat loss… and hunger. If you make bad food choices, you will gain weight, no matter how much you think T is a magic weight loss potion. It is not a magic weight loss potion. On that note, you will gain weight. Muscle weighs more than fat. I dropped 3 clothing sizes but gained 30 pounds in weight. 

Your genitals will hurt. Your dick is going to rub against your underwear or packer if it’s not properly positioned under your skin. You will master the awkward cowboy walk to the bathroom to fix it in a way that draws the least attention. Crying like a little baby does not help, but you will probably do it anyway.

One day, you’re going to wake up and the first thing out of your mouth will sound so unrecognizable that you think you’ve switched bodies with someone else. It’ll be like going from Avril Lavigne to Morgan Freeman overnight. At least, that’s what it will feel like to you. Crying like a little baby is acceptable when this happens.

Everything causes acne. Even your acne meds. You can’t fix it. All you can do is live with it until your hormones stop going haywire.

Some lucky transmen experience temporary uterine insanity. That is, your uterus goes insane and starts cramping randomly. Some endocrinologists theorize that it’s due to the muscles increasing in size from the testosterone so rapidly that they cut off their own blood supply. The pain level from this ranges from “a bear on PCP ate my toe off” and “I just took a shotgun shell full of lemon and rock salt to my external genitalia.” Crying like a little baby does not fix it, but you will do it. You will probably have random bleeding, painful intercourse and lower body weakness. Go to your doctor. Get pain medication. Try to avoid getting addicted to the pain medication. Don’t send nudes of yourself to Pizza Hut when high on the pain medication (as I have done).

Sometimes your voice will break completely in half and you can sing baritone AND soprano. This is great at parties. It gets even greater when you’re drunk.

Drinking before a blood test will mess up your results and may lead your endocrinologist to change your T dose when it’s not necessary.

100mg/week is not the gold standard magic-making dose. That’s where most endocrinologists put you until you figure out the best dose for yourself, with blood tests to monitor your levels so you don’t make your heart explode. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less. It’s trial and error. Don’t inject T into a vein. That’s really stupid. Crying like a baby will not help. You’ll probably hurt yourself and look like a giant idiot in the ER.

You will mess up your injections frequently. Golf-ball sized swellings, redness and heat can be common even without infections. Sometimes it will hurt so much that you can’t even walk, sit down, masturbate or shit without being in horrible agony. Cry and move on. Biofreeze will be your best friend. Note: wash your hands after applying Biofreeze, especially before you attempt to use the restroom. Ibuprofen helps with the pain better than tylenol and is less likely to make your liver turn black.

People who don’t know you well, such as your favorite barista or your pharmacist, will stop recognizing you at some point. This is normal. Use it advantageously. 

T will change your emotional responses to things. A lot of people think that it makes you angry and this is not always true. You may have stronger emotional reactions to things. You may have less strong reactions to things. You may get sad where you once got angry, and vice-versa. This is normal. Adapt. If someone tells you that you’re being an asshole, listen to them. It’s also appropriate to tell them to go fuck themselves.

Your informed consent sheet will tell you that your genitals will be drier than the Sahara in the summer. This is not always true. In fact, sometimes the opposite can happen and it’ll be quite swampy. Learn to adapt. Or get Summer’s Eve. Sadly, they don’t make it in Axe scents.

If you’re under 21, it’s possible that you might get taller. Remember the growing pains you used to get as a child? Now imagine those but 500% worse. That’s what it will feel like. You will also have to relearn your spatial relationships with the surrounding world. You will be awkward and clumsy. You will knock things over and be in a constant state of bruised.

You will be less iron deficient on T if you stop menstruating. If you have iron-deficiency anemia, it may clear up entirely.

The copper IUD contraceptive Paraguard can cause your periods to come back. Transgender men looking for an IUD are encouraged to choose Mirena, which is infused with progesterone. Progesterone-only hormonal contraceptives such as Depo-Provera, Implanon/Nexapro, the morning after pill and some daily oral contraceptives are less likely to interfere with your HRT but will likely worsen your acne, cause weight gain and affect your moods. If you are under 25, are on T and have Mirena placed, it is likely your body will reject it. This is very painful and it’d probably be less painful if you stuck both of your feet into a bear trap. You will cry like a little baby. You will also throw up and shit yourself.

Do not attempt to STP while intoxicated. If cis guys can’t control their urine streams while intoxicated, you sure as hell can’t.

And just to piss you off: Testosterone therapy is a subjective experience. No matter how much you can prepare yourself for the changes, you’ll be surprised by what’s happening to you. After you start T, it’s likely you’ll feel lost. You spent a lot of time and mental effort getting to this point and now there’s not much to do but wait. At some point, your changes will slow down. Some day, you’re going to wake up with a beard and not remember the time you didn’t have one. And neither will anyone else. So just be and stop worrying.