regalastor

[regalastor]

Paul Mescal will debut as a guest host on Saturday Night Live, on December 7

[regalastor]

Amor in ea Purissima Est (III)

Lucius Verus Aurelius x fem!OC

summary: Anna reconsiders her future when Lucius’ lies are revealed.

author's notes: Thank you all so much for the feedback and continued support! Please leave comments and let me know what you think! This part is shorter in hopes of a longer part IV (I went back to work this week and have been drowning a bit). Lots of canon divergence is present in this fic! 

warnings: attempted violence, discussions of abuse and loss of loved ones. not all themes are tagged. rating: 18+ 

part I - https://www.tumblr.com/regalastor/772223672271372288/amor-in-ea-purissima-est?source=share 

part II - https://www.tumblr.com/regalastor/772432627132186624/amor-in-ea-purissima-est-pt-ii?source=share

Once Lucius returned to the palace after seeing Anna home from the market, he was quick to make his way to the healer’s quarters. 

“Good evening, Caesar,” Ravi greeted. Lucius didn’t bother with formalities or greetings.

“I need you to write to Anna and offer her a position here, working with you,” He stated and Ravi looked at him for a moment before nodding.

“As you wish. She is good at what she does,” Ravi agreed. “Any details I should include to match your story?�� Lucius’ lips tugged upwards slightly. 

“Only that you thought of her after I mentioned meeting a young healer.”

“And what does she think of the emperor pursuing her?” Ravi asked, and Lucius let out a deep breath.

“She thinks I am a Praetorian,” He admitted. Ravi looked up at him with a slightly shocked expression.

“Forgive me, but what do you think will happen when she begins her work here and learns who you are?” Lucius ran his hands over his face.

“I have not solved that problem yet, but I will,” Lucius assured, looking around the room. He did feel guilty for allowing her to believe the lie he was insinuating, though he had technically never told her what he did at the palace. “Thank you, Ravi. Will you let me know when you receive a response?” Ravi nodded.

“Of course, Caesar,” Lucius inclined his head towards his friend before bidding him goodnight and heading back towards the main floor of the palace. Just over a week passed before Ravi informed Lucius that he had met with Anna, and that she had agreed to work at the palace. He had been relieved beyond all measure, but now he had to come up with a solution to fix the problem of his falsehood towards her, without scaring her off. 

Anna’s first day at the palace was overwhelming, yet it went quite well. She thoroughly enjoyed working with Ravi and the consistent hours, better pay, and the environment was peaceful. No one had bothered her, or even spoken to her out of turn. She felt respected and valued. She had hoped that she would see Lucius during her work, but she had yet to even see a glimpse of him.

“The guard who encouraged me to come here, Lucius, do you know him well?” Anna asked Ravi after a few days with no sightings of the handsome warrior. She knew it was an invasive question, but she couldn’t help her curiosity. Ravi seemed slightly surprised by her question, and he remained silent for a moment before answering.

“Yes, I suppose I do. He is stoic, and reserved, but thoughtful and strong and has an empathetic soul,” Ravi said truthfully. Anna smiled softly at the description. “He seemed rather taken with you.” Anna’s cheeks burned at the comment. 

“Apparently not. I thought I would see him once I arrived, but it has been nearly a week,” She told him. The man nodded, but waited a few moments before responding. 

“Perhaps he does not want you to think he is being overly insistent on garnering your attention.” Anna laughed a little at his comment, but changed the subject after that. 

Another week later, Anna found herself seated in the garden, picking herbs and pulling the leaves apart carefully in order to make a new salve. She was enjoying this job, and having access to every supply and piece of equipment needed was a nice perk. 

“Should a woman as beautiful as you be pulling weeds?” A voice asked from behind Anna, making her look up confused. She shielded her eyes to see the man speaking to her. He was dressed in a worker’s clothes, but he had groomer’s boots on. She sent him a polite smile before turning back to her work. 

“It is not weeds,” She said softly, reaching up to show the man the leaves she was pulling off of the plant. He hummed watching as she continued her work. 

“What is your name? I have not seen you before.”

“Anna, I am Ravi’s assistant,” She didn’t look up at him, as she was focused on not tearing the stem in her hand. 

“And, Ravi’s assistant, do you believe it is proper to ignore those trying to speak to you?” He asked, moving to block the sun out of her face, his presence now making her feel small and trapped. Panic rose in her chest as she looked up at him, and she tried to breathe through her nose to keep her chest from rising and falling dramatically. 

“Forgive me, I was not trying to ignore you,” She assured, hoping deference would make him leave her alone. “I will be expected to return soon,” She stood up and held the basket loosely in front of her. 

“I am sure you could remain for a few moments,” The man looked her up and down; her stomach flipped with nausea. Anna shook her head and took a step backwards.

“I should not be late, Ravi will be waiting-“ 

“Let him wait then, such a beauty needs to be admired,” He reached forward and gripped her wrist. Anna froze as he tugged her close to him, the basket of leaves falling from her hands. “You cannot just be a healer, not with a face like this,” His hand gripped her chin and tilted her head up to face him. She closed her eyes tightly, utterly horrified by the tears beginning to burn in her eyes. 

“Please let me go,” She whispered, her voice sounding much weaker and smaller than she would have preferred. 

“I-“ The man started to say but was interrupted by a force pulling him backwards, his grip on Anna dropping immediately as he turned to face his assailant, only to be knocked to the ground by the blow of a fist. Anna covered her mouth with her hands as she stumbled backwards, nearly tripping over her skirts. She quickly wiped her eyes and looked to the person standing above her attacker. Lucius. Lucius stepped over the man still on the ground, who was cradling his own jaw, and placed a gentle hand on her face. He wiped her tears with his thumb and looked into her eyes as if he was assessing the damage done.

“I am fine,” She whispered, still staring into his deep blue eyes. He nodded at her, brushing some of her loose hairs from her face, nothing but adoration in his eyes. Anna heard commotion coming towards the and Lucius closed his eyes for a second.

“Please forgive me, Anna,” He said to her before dropping his hands from her face and turning around. He reached down and grabbed the man by his collar before pulling him to his feet.

“Caesar!” A guard called and Anna stepped back. Who were these guards calling to? There were no other people in the garden. 

“I want to deal with him later, is that understood?” Lucius said, shoving the man towards two of the guards. They both bowed slightly and took a hold of the man. Another one of the guards looked over to Anna, as if he wanted to speak to her, but Lucius held up a hand, and the guard stopped obediently. “I will handle this,” Lucius said, the remaining guards bowing.

“Yes, Caesar,” They said before turning and leaving Anna and Lucius in the garden. Anna felt like she was going to throw up. Lucius turned around to look at Anna; her jaw was tightly clenched, and her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist as if she was trying to comfort and protect herself at the same time. Her eyes were fixed on the ground and her head was bowed slightly. 

“Anna,” Lucius said quietly, stepping towards her. She took a step back; once again, he could see she was shaking. “Anna, please forgive me, I was not trying to deceive-“ 

“There is nothing to apologize for, your grace,” His stomach dropped at the title. Lucius shook his head.

“Please do not-“ 

“I am sorry, your grace, for my lack of awareness,” Anna swallowed her anxiety. “I must return to my work, if you will allow it, my lord,” She still didn’t look at him.

“Anna, you know you may do as you please here,” Lucius said quietly.

“Thank you, Caesar,” She murmured before bobbing a curtsy and all but running past him into the palace. Once she was out of his view, she pressed herself into the nearest wall and crumbled to her knees. 

Anna could not believe this was happening—she had been dreaming of the new emperor of Rome every night when she closed her eyes. Part of her wanted to run away and never show her face in Rome again, but another part of her wanted to confront Lucius for his deception. She did not think that he intentionally deceived her, after all he had never told her he was a guard, he just let her assume it. She also did not think that Lucius meant to humiliate her, and yet she felt sick to her stomach knowing she had been manipulated in such a a way. Her instincts had been right when they warned her against him, but she was too dumbfounded by his attractiveness and kindness to flesh out her own anxieties. She cried on the floor of the palace for a while before she carefully stood up and went back down to the healer’s quarters. 

“There you are, I was worried you had gotten lost,” Ravi said upon hearing Anna come in. He looked up at her and paused his work. He could tell she had been crying.

“Did you know?” She asked him quietly, he didn’t need to have her clarify what she meant. 

“Yes. I knew him first as a gladiator,” Ravi explained and Anna shook her head covering her face with her hands. “I understand your anger, truly, but I do not believe the emperor had any ill intent. Words are not his strong suit, and he demonstrates care through action,” Anna did not reply and instead busied herself with finishing one of her current salves. “Does this knowledge lessen your affection for him?” Ravi asked after a moment; Anna stilled her hands, but did not respond. “The emperor has no desire to make a political match, he is only after love and companionship. Whether or not you admit it to yourself, you are interested in those things as well. It is your choice to admit to these desires, but either way, if you did have any affections for him, are they now lessened because of his title?” Anna still did not answer, but the question weighed heavy on her mind. She did not speak again, except for when necessary for work purposes, the rest of the day. She escaped the palace quickly that evening and made it to her home without seeing another soul. 

As she sat in her courtyard after dinner, watching as Cato played alone, she began to question her own feelings. She thought about what it would be like to accept Lucius; if he even really wanted her for more than a physical relationship. She thought about the idea of having more children, of getting remarried, and she found her heart was not full of dread, but rather hope. 

[regalastor]

Amor in ea Purissima Est (pt. II)

Lucius Verus Aurelius x fem!OC 

summary: Lucius sets out to find Anna, even though he has no idea what to do once he finds her. 

author's notes: Thank you all so much for the positive feedback and part 2 requests! Please leave comments and let me know what you think! Also, I am planning on continuing this series if it keeps garnering support! Lots of canon divergence is present in this fic!

warnings: discussions of violence (implied attempted SA but very vague), abuse, and loss of a spouse. rating: 18+ (eventually). 

part I - https://www.tumblr.com/regalastor/772223672271372288/amor-in-ea-purissima-est?source=share

As Lucius sat on the lonely balcony staring into the dimly lit city, and daydreaming about Anna, he could not help but wonder who she was, who her people were, and what had happened to Cato's father?

“You seem thoughtful,” Lucilla said, walking onto the balcony. Lucius took a sip of the wine in his glass.

“Do you know the familial name of Evander?” Lucilla thought for a moment, taking a seat in the chair next to her son. 

“I knew of a Decius Evander once, he was a prominent merchant in the city, his son took over his trade when he died, and then I think the son died too. But that is all I have heard of the name.” Lucius looked over at his mother at her words, and Lucilla noticed at Lucius’ intrigued expression. “May I ask what brought about this line of questioning?” Lucius stared at the cup in his hand for a moment. 

 “I met a woman today in the Capital market,” He explained, ignoring the way his mother sat up slightly, clearly excited by his words. “I found her son. He saw the guard and became distracted, and then he found himself separated from her and nearly run over by a carriage,” Lucius swirled his wine once before taking a sip. 

“And you helped him find her?” Lucilla asked and Lucius nodded. 

“She was,” He took a deep breath. “Absolutely beautiful,” He admitted. “And the boy, Cato, was clever and brave. He told me his father died when he was too young to hold a sword, and he could not have been older than six or so. His mother’s name is Anna Evander.” Lucilla couldn’t help but smile at his words. She had not seen him even remotely interested in any of the women he had meant since ascending the throne; she didn’t care if the girl was a servant or an outsider or a princess, she just wanted her son to be happy. 

“You do know you have the ability to find her at your fingertips, yes?” Lucius shook his head and leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees.

“She was so frightened of me, and she did not even know who I was. Tracking her down would certainly not make her feel any more at peace,” Lucius explained and Lucilla nodded, her eyes softening. 

“If she is a widow, with a young son, and as beautiful as you say, I am sure she experienced her fair share of entitled men trying to stake a claim on her.” Lucius sucked in a sharp breath at the thought.

“Cato said she was a healer; that she makes medicines and sells them.” 

“Oh,” Lucilla thought for a moment before a light clicked in her eyes. “Yes, I think she is the daughter-in-law of Decius. His son, I forget his name, married a Gaul, I think, he met on one of his adventures and brought her back here,” Lucilla mused. “If she sells medicines, you should speak to Ravi, he may know her.” Since Lucius’ ascent to the throne, Ravi had become one of the healers within the palace. Lucius trusted him and knew he could be tasked with seeing to their house. Lucius knew his mother’s idea of finding Anna was probably wise, but he was still rather anxious about the whole encounter, and what the possibilities of pursuing Anna could mean. Would she even be interested in him? Or in getting married at all? Or worse, what if she felt pressured to accept his attention because she was scared of him, or because of his title? Lucilla noticed her son’s pensive expression and reached over to gently place a hand on his shoulder. 

“Just consider your options, I only want to see you happy,” She said gently before leaving him alone with his thoughts. Lucius stayed on the balcony a while longer before heading to bed. Once he fell asleep, he was greeted with Anna’s blue eyes in his dreams, and when he awoke, he knew he would have to figure out some way to see her again without scaring her off. When Lucius went to the Capital a few days later, he could not help but keep his eyes peeled for a glimpse of Anna’s golden hair, or Cato running loose once again. After failing in his mission, Lucius swallowed his nerves and traversed to the healer’s quarters. 

“Good evening, Caesar,” Ravi said with a curt bow when he saw Lucius walk in. Lucius rolled his eyes at the formality but accepted the gesture nonetheless.

“I have a favor to ask, I suppose,” Lucius said, walking over to one of the tables covered in herbs. He leaned onto the side of it as he watched his friend work.

“If it is in my power,” Ravi assured, eyeing Lucius’ odd behavior. It was odd to see the young man so unsure of himself; he almost seemed nervous. 

“There is a woman,” Ravi almost dropped the container in his hands. “I met her at the Capital market. She sells medicines and things, so I assume she is some type of healer,” Lucius crossed his arms over his chest. “Her name is Anna Evander, my mother thinks she is a foreigner who married a merchant, but he has since died. Do you know her?” Ravi set down the work in his hands and thought for a moment. 

“The young Saxon woman?” He asked, and Lucius blinked at him. “Many women who deal in medicines use false names to protect themselves. In case someone ever wants to accuse them of evil sorcery or incantations,” Ravi explained with a small smile tugging at his lips, as if he couldn’t help but scoff at the idea. “This woman, you call Anna, she is short, with a small nose, very light hair, and a young son, yes?” Lucius nodded at the description. “Yes, I know her as Andswaru. She is very talented, very smart.” 

“What else do you know about her?” Lucius asked, intrigued by what Ravi had said. 

“I do not seem to know too much more than you, Caesar. I know she is a Saxon, from southern Scandinavia, I believe, but you are right, her husband was a merchant and met her on a trading excursion. He stayed with her in the north for nearly a year, where they were married, but then they returned here, and soon after she had their son. Her husband died around two years ago, which is when she first appeared amongst the healers of the city. She is young and beautiful and kind, and has had to fight for her life ever since Cassian died,” Ravi sighed deeply, as if he was thinking of all of her hardships. Lucius ran a hand over his face and tried to absorb all of the information he had learned. 

“Where could I find her, if I wanted to?” 

“She lives close to Caelimontium Hill, I believe, and she sells at markets all across town, primarily the Forum market and the Serapis market, but also to individual houses.”

“Ours included?” Lucius asked, and Ravi shook his head no. 

“No, she does not often make such large orders. She works on her own,” Ravi thought for a moment. “But, she does supply women’s goods to some of the Senator’s wives.” Lucius nodded to himself.

“Thank you, Ravi, truly,” Lucius said, reaching out to clasp his friend’s hand.

“I hope you find what you are looking for,” Lucius sent him one more nod before leaving his workshop. The next day, Lucius found himself loitering near the Serapis market, looking much more like a Praetorian than an emperor. He wandered around for nearly an hour before running a hand through his hair in frustration. This was pointless; he should either grow up and find her properly, or move on, not linger around her places of work until he caught a glimpse of her. Lucius was about to leave the market when he felt someone beside him. He turned and looked down, his breath catching at the sight of a familiar little boy staring at his sword. Cato looked up at him with big brown eyes and smiled happily.

“Do you remember me, dominus Lucius?” Cato asked curiously, with a slight edge of caution to his voice, as his face tilted upwards so he could look at the taller man. 

“How could I ever forget?” Lucius assured before kneeling down to meet his eyes better. “Are you lost again?” Cato shook his head and pointed to his left, Lucius’ heart sped up as he could finally see Anna’s icy, yet somehow still slightly golden, blonde hair, neatly braided down her back. When Lucius looked back to Cato, he could tell something was bothering him, or at least commanding his attention, and he was looking at Lucius as if he was deciding whether or not to trust him. “Would you like to ask me something?” Cato stared at him for a moment before nodding. Lucius waited. 

“Can-can I have a sword?” Cato asked after a moment and Lucius schooled his features to remain neutral. 

“I do not think you could lift one on your own,” Lucius admitted and Cato huffed slightly. He looked over to his mother again. “What do you need with a sword?” Cato shrugged, but when Lucius reached out and placed a hand on his arm, the boy's lip immediately began to quiver. Something was very wrong indeed. “Cato, has something happened?” The little boy stared at the ground before nodding. 

“I”m not supposed to say,” He whispered, his eyes still fixed on the dirt. 

“I will not tell another soul, I promise.” The boy seemed to contemplate Lucius’ words for a moment before taking a deep breath, though he still did not look up. 

“Many people scare my mama,” He said quietly. “They follow her, and grab her, and don’t listen to her when she tells them to leave,” He whispered to the emperor. Lucius clenched his jaw tightly, his hands balling into fists.

“Do you know these people?” Cato shrugged.

“Some of them,” He looked around cautiously.

“Are they all men?” Lucius asked, and the boy nodded. “Are they dressed like me?” Cato shook his head no. He pointed to one of the Colosseum guards—a gladiator handler.

“A few dress like him.” Rage bubbled in Lucius’ stomach. “And them,” Cato pointed to some of the vendors—averagely dressed working Romans. 

“I see,” Lucius said quietly. He didn’t really know what to say in this scenario. All he wanted to do was to grab both Anna and Cato and carry them back to the palace with him, but he knew that would not go over well and was a very impractical decision. 

“But, then-” Cato started, but paused for a second, and then shook his head, as if he was unable to get the words out. 

“Cato?” Anna said cautiously as she approached the boy. Lucius stood up quickly and met Anna’s eyes. Her lips parted when she saw him; she recognized him, but was utterly confused as to how and why this guard was here, so far from the Capital. “Hello, sir,” She greeted, lowering her head slightly.

“Ave, domina,” Lucius greeted politely, inclining his head towards her. He flinched when he felt Cato grab onto his weapons belt, as if to remind him of his presence. Anna stared at him, clearly waiting for an explanation of what was happening. “I was passing through and ran into your son,” Lucius said before licking his lips. He wanted to confront her about what the boy had said, but he also did not want to betray the child’s trust. Then, an idea swept through his mind. “Well, I was not only passing through, I was looking for you,” He saw Anna tense. “The healer of the palace, Ravi, you may know him, needs a new assistant,” Anna relaxed a little at the mention of her acquaintance’s name. “I mentioned I met a young medicine maker and her son, he figured it was you, and thought that you may want the position,” Lucius explained. He knew it was a completely half-assed explanation, and completely untrue, but maybe, just maybe, she would be willing to consider it, and then at least she would be under his protection. Anna stared at him cautiously for a moment longer.

“Why did Ravi not come to me himself?”

“He was going to, but I had business out this way, and he said I could find you here,” Lucius lied. Anna looked to her son, who was still tightly holding on to Lucius’ belt. Something about this man was different, she could feel it, and even if he didn’t realize it, Cato could sense it too. 

“Tell Ravi I will consider it, but I would like to speak to him first. He knows where to find me,” She stated softly. 

“I will inform him,” Lucius promised. “May I escort you somewhere?” Anna blinked for a moment. Her brain was screaming at her to say no, but her heart, and her gut, assured her of the opposite.

“We are heading home to Caelimontium, if that is not too far,” Lucius shook his head no. 

“Not at all.”

“Now can Lucius stay for dinner?” Cato asked, running up to his mother. Anna breathed a laugh before looking at Lucius again. Her gaze was intentional and deep, like she was trying to see into his soul. 

“No, not this time,” She brushed some of Cato’s hair out of his face before nodding for Lucius to follow as she began to walk out of the marketplace. Once they had escaped the crowd, Cato began telling Lucius all about how he was responsible for helping his Nonna with her vegetable garden. Anna let the boy talk and had to bite back her smile at all of the questions Lucius asked and how intently he seemed to be listening. 

After her husband died, Anna desperately had wanted to go home, but the guilt of leaving her mother-in-law, Leila, alone and helpless was too much to bear so she stayed in Rome. Leila had suggested that Anna remarry more times than she could count, and she knew it was the wise decision, but settling for someone who she did not care for felt like giving up, and she had not been that desperate yet. It quickly became apparent to Anna that a woman alone in Rome was just waiting to be hurt, and so she began to fight. She put up every wall she could, stayed with others constantly, and fought off every man and his advances. But recently, the harassment and attention of random men has been getting worse. She had nearly been attacked on her way home a few days ago; she had barely made it in her door before collapsing onto the floor in tears, fear and anxiety and anger racking her body as her child watched from the sitting room. Now, here was this man, this strong, attractive, and seemingly kind and honest man, placed before her by the gods, and she was still frozen in fear. She would love to work at the palace, to know that her workplace was secure and that she could safely bring Cato along, but something about the situation felt odd. Yes, she did know Ravi, but very little, and she was still confused as to why he didn’t just write to her, or ask her at the healer’s gallery last week. She knew she should be on high alert around this handsome stranger, but the way he had cared for her, and more importantly for Cato, had stunned her and made her let her guard down. Lucius’ deep and smooth voice brought her out of her thoughts. 

“I’m sorry, what?” She asked him, her cheeks heating up slightly when she realized he had been speaking to her.

“I didn't mean to startle you earlier, with my presence in the market,” Lucius said, falling back to walk in step with her. She shook her head. 

“No, no, it is not your fault,” She smiled softly. “How long have you been at the palace?” She asked after a moment of silence.

“Not long, less than a year,” Lucius admitted. “How long have you been making medicines?” 

“I do not remember a specific time when I started, I only remember copying my mother, until I learned to create what was needed on my own,” Anna sighed lightly at the memory. “I picked it up rather quickly, and took over most of her work by the time I was eleven.” 

“How old are you now?” Lucius asked, immediately regretting the question. It was too personal and too heavy with expectation. “Forgive me, I only meant-”

“Three and twenty,” She interrupted his apology. “And you?” She asked, a teasing lilt to her voice. Lucius’ lips pulled up slightly. 

“Eight and twenty,” He informed her, and she nodded with a small smile. 

“You seem perfectly Roman, are you?” Lucius kept his reaction minimal, only offering a slight laugh as a response.

“Yes, I am,” He told her. “But you are not.” 

“No, I am from Scandinavia. I moved here after I married my late husband, Cassian,” Anna looked forward towards Cato. 

“Cato told me that he died when he was young, I am sorry,” Anna’s eyes widened slightly. Cato never talked about his father, but then again, he had only been a little older than three when he died, so she was surprised to hear he had told this to a stranger. 

“Yes, me too,” Anna looked over at Lucius. He was so handsome, and clearly intelligent and capable, she couldn’t hold back her own curiosity at his marital status. “Are you married?” Lucius took a deep breath.

“I was, my wife was killed over a year and a half ago,” Anna’s jaw almost dropped. 

“I am so sorry,” She said softly. 

“Me too,” He repeated her earlier sentiment back to her. 

“Do you have any children?” She asked, and Lucius shook his head no in response. 

“Is Cato your only child?” Anna nodded. “He’s rather remarkable,” Lucius said with a soft smile. 

“I think so, but thank you for saying it.” They fell into a natural silence after that as they walked along the road. 

“Look, look!” Cato said, pointing to the horses coming down the road. Lucius reached out and pulled Cato into his side before carefully placing a hand on Anna’s upper back and guiding her out of the road. He didn’t notice the red that crawled up her cheeks at the gesture. Lucius tensed when he realized the riders were soldiers, but they were dressed in average working clothes. They quickly came to a halt upon seeing him, despite the look he was giving them to keep going. 

“Cae-” “Ave, riders, are you lost?” Lucius asked, interrupting them before they could address him. The soldiers shared a look before looking back at the emperor. “If you continue on this road you will be in the city center,” He explained, glaring daggers at them and all but gesturing for them to ignore him.

“Yes, Cae-” “Sir, thank you for the assistance, ave, dominus,” The other soldier interrupted, clearly understanding that Lucius wanted them to leave him be. The guards continued down the road. Cato went back to zigzagging around the road, but Anna was shaking, her hand pressed into her chest as she tried to slow her breathing. She was frozen to her spot. 

“Anna?” Lucius asked, and her eyes quickly snapped back to his.

“I-” She tried to speak, but paused to take a few deep breaths. “I’m sorry, I should not overreact. They meant no harm,” Lucius shook his head.

“Please do not apologize,” He assured. “Is there anything I can do?” He offered, and she shook her head no. They dropped the conversation until they reached her home. It was a nice home at the entrance of the Caelimontium region, with a gate and gardens in the front, blocking the view of the courtyard. 

 “Accept Ravi’s offer and work in the palace, please,” Lucius blurted once Cato was inside the house. Anna stared at him for a minute before nodding. 

“I will speak with him about it,” Anna assured him. 

“Good evening then, Anna.”

“Good evening, Lucius, thank you for the escort,” She smiled at him and he returned the expression before heading off down the road he came from. Anna watched him walk away for a few moments and allowed herself to imagine what dinner would have been like if he had stayed.

[regalastor]

GLADIATOR II 2024, dir. Ridley Scott

[regalastor]

Paul Mescal Talks Horses with Greg Williams | Hollywood Authentic

[regalastor]

Amor in ea Purissima Est

Lucius Verus Aurelius x fem!OC

summary: Lucius makes a new friend who causes him to reflect on his own loneliness.

author's notes: This is my first time posting my writing in years, so I would love any and all feedback! I would love to continue this story if people are interested. Lots of canon divergence is present in this fic!

warnings: discussions that hint at violence, abuse, and loss of a spouse. rating: 18+ (eventually).

It was only just over six months since Lucius’ ascension to the throne before women were being thrown at him by his mother. They had spoken at length about the loss of his wife, and his old life, but as time went on, she became more insistent that he not only needed an heir, but also he needed a companion. He knew she did not only mean the physicality of a relationship, but the trust and comfort provided by a partner. He had met with the women she’d asked him to, and sat at tables with noble families, but he had been painfully uninterested. His mother had accused him of being difficult only for the sake of disagreeing with her, and part of him wondered if that was true, but either way, he remained uninterested in his options. 

“What did you not like about her?” His mother asked one day after yet another social gathering had ended. Lucius knew she was referring to his newly appointed general’s daughter; with whom he had spoken to at great length. 

“It was not that I did not like her,” He thought about his words for a moment. “I have been in love, I know what it is supposed to feel like, and I will not settle for less.” Lucilla demonstrated her agreement by placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

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Lucius grabbed the arm of the young boy and yanked him backwards, nearly knocking him off of his feet, just in time for the child to evade being run over by a carriage. The streets near the Senate building were always bustling and he could often make it through without many people noticing him at all, but it was rare to see a child wandering around this part of the city alone.  

“Eyes forward around here,” Lucius said, helping the child to stand up straight. The boy blinked up at him a few times, and Lucius could tell his eyes were beginning to water. He couldn't have been older than six years old, and his chest ached a little, he hadn’t intended to scare the boy. “What are you doing here alone?” Lucius asked, looking around for any sign of parents. 

“I am not alone,” The boy huffed slightly, making Lucius’ lips turn upward a little at his attitude—the boy clearly had no idea who he was, but that did not bother him in the slightest. “My mother was with me, and she told me to stay close, but then I saw-” The child’s eyes drifted towards the Praetorian Guard that was stationed outside the senate. 

“The Praetorian?” Lucius asked, and the little boy nodded, his ears turning red as if he were being scolded for his disobedience. “What is your name?” 

“Cato.”

“I am Lucius,” Lucius offered the child his hand; the boy shook his hand strongly, making Lucius smile slightly once again. “Come,” He gestured towards the guards, making Cato’s eyes widen. As Lucius approached the guards, Cato still a step behind him, he shook his head slightly, hoping they would get the hint not to bow, or frighten the boy. Cato looked at the tall soldiers, who were still standing at attention, with adoration in his eyes as he examined their swords and armor. “Have you ever held a sword?” Lucius asked the boy, and he shook his head. 

“My father died when I was too little,” He shrugged, looking up at Lucius for a moment. The emperor reached out his hand and was quickly handed his own sword; he knelt down and held it in front of the boy, carefully keeping his hand away from the blade. While Lucius had never had kids himself, he was a part of a community for most of his life and therefore surrounded by children. 

“This sword was my grandfather’s and then my father’s and now it is mine,” Lucius explained, watching as the little boy took in every detail of the golden hilt. 

“Are you a gladiator?” Cato asked after a moment, and Lucius sucked in a breath at the memories.

“Once, yes, but now my purpose has changed,” He said gently. Cato’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What could be more important?” 

“You, your family, your friends, the people of Rome. I have sworn to protect them and to help them all with all of my strength and power, and I intend to do so,” Lucius said, he realized he was talking too broadly and in too grand of a manner for the boy to understand, but Cato nodded along nonetheless, acting as if he was fully in on the meaning of the conversation. 

“I want to be a warrior,” Cato said after a moment. “I want to protect my mother,” He said resolutely. Lucius smiled at him. 

“I want to protect my mother as well,” He agreed. “We should find your mother before she worries too much about your safety,” Lucius took the sheath from the guard and wrapped it around his waist before sliding his sword into its proper place. Lucius sent the Praetorian a nod in a silent instruction to stay put. “Do you know where she may be?” Lucius asked Cato; the boy thought for a moment before nodding. He reached out and pulled on Lucius’ hand, a gesture that made the emperor’s jaw drop slightly, but one he accepted nonetheless. 

“She makes medicine and stuff, and then we bring it here to sell it,” Cato explained, weaving through the crowd. Some people turned to look at Lucius, but in the clothes of a warrior, and with his hand in this little boy’s, it was very unlikely that anyone would recognize him. Lucius just followed and kept an eye on the little boy as he searched the crowds for his mother, after a while of his pulling on women’s skirts and then being disappointed by the face that looked down at him, Lucius decided to pick him up, in hopes of helping his see amongst the crowd. So, they continued wandering around the market, with Cato on Lucius’ hip as he looked around wildly for his mother. 

“Mama!” Cato yelped and quickly attempted to squirm out of Lucius’ grip, causing the emperor to quickly put the boy on his feet. Cato gripped Lucius’ hand again and pulled him through the crowd. Soon, Cato was throwing himself at the legs of a woman, she all but fell down as she held him against her. She pressed her cheek to his head, and it was obvious she was crying. She must have been so scared, all the while her son was playing with swords and making new friends. Lucius shifted on his feet; he knew he should leave them, but he also felt uncomfortable leaving the child alone without explaining himself, or at least greeting the woman. 

“Never, ever, do that again! How dare you run off like that?” The woman cupped Cato’s face in her hands and she ran her thumbs over his cheeks and flattened his hair like she was assuring herself that he was really in front of her and alright. Lucius could fully see her face now. She was younger than he had expected, with lightly tanned skin, light blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. Her lips were plump and her face was defined, yet soft at the same time. She was stunning, and something about her made his heart beat faster.

“I’m sorry, mama, I didn’t mean to,” Cato said earnestly, and the woman sucked in a deep breath like she was trying to remain calm and not lose her patience with him. “I saw the soldiers,” The boy turned slightly and pointed at Lucius. “And got distracted,” The woman looked at him for a second before her eyes widened and she stood up quickly. She spun Cato around and pulled his back into her front, her arm wrapping around his chest protectively. 

“I am so sorry, sir, if he disturbed the peace. I can promise you he is not a defiant boy, he just-” Lucius realized she thought he was Praetorian—-someone who could act violently with no justification. She was scared her son was in trouble.

“Please,” Lucius interrupted her, and he held out a hand in front of him, in what he hoped was a gesture of peace. “He has done no harm, nor is he in any trouble,” He assured the women. Her grip on Cato loosened a little. “He nearly wandered into the road, and then I helped him find you.” The woman swallowed once, still clearly assessing him. She seemed so frightened, so tense, and Lucius wondered what Cato was so adamant about protecting his mother from. 

“Thank you for your help, truly,” She spoke softly. Lucius inclined his head in her direction. 

“Lucius is my friend,” Cato said looking up at his mother. The woman smiled a little at that, but her eyes still seemed panicked. 

“I see,” She slowly released her grip on her son fully, allowing him to stand in between the two adults. She stared at Lucius for a moment, and her heart began to beat faster as their blue eyes met. Something about him felt familiar, but that feeling of recognition was overtaken by her attraction to him. He was tan, tall, and muscular, with short, chocolate-colored, wavy brown hair and deep blue eyes. His nose was perfectly Roman, his beard was short and well-kept, and his lips were full and pink. “Well, we should be going,” She said after a moment, realizing she had most certainly been staring at him for too long. She didn’t seem to notice that he was staring back at her in order to admire her beauty as well. 

“Can Lucius come to dinner?” Cato asked and the woman’s cheeks flushed. 

“No, Cato, he-” The woman looked to Lucius for help. 

“You are very kind to invite me,” Lucius assured. “But, I think your mother needs your help, and I have to go back to work,” He squatted down so that he was closer to eye-level with the child. He placed a hand on his little shoulder. “Protect your mother, and be strong, and you will be a warrior,” He said to the boy and Cato nodded resolutely. 

“Thank you, again,” The woman said once he stood back up to his full height. 

“May I ask your name?” Lucius asked just as she took Cato’s hand to guide him away. 

“Anna Evander,” She smiled softly. The family name sounded vaguely familiar, but he did not recognize her. 

“I am at your service, domina,” He smiled gently at her. She smiled back once more before guiding her son away. 

That night, as Lucius sat on one of the many balconies in the palace, alone, all he could think about was Anna, and that maybe, he did not have to be sitting alone.

[regalastor]

I haven’t seen this posted yet but it gave me chills. (Credit to grable424 on YouTube)

[regalastor]

me to marvel: 

[regalastor]

captain america: civil war → spider-man: homecoming → avengers: infinity war 

[regalastor]

inspired by Marry Me by Thomas Rhett

Tom knew this was a terrible idea, but here he was walking up the steps of the chapel next to Harrison as an usher handed him the happy couple’s welcome cards. From the moment he got the invitation he told himself he wouldn’t go, but none-the-less when he had actually told her he wasn’t coming her eyes had filled with sadness and he’d quickly retracted his statement in hopes of making her eyes sparkle again as they normally did. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he followed Harrison and Emily through the crowd of people in the church to find a seat. He looked around the church his heart beating faster as he laid eyes on him, the one that was taking his Y/N away, and he looked at the deep red roses, the ivory and gold drapes decorating the walls and pews making him sigh softly. He looked down at his feet trying to keep his eyes from burning before he quickly shot up and told his friends he’d be back in a second before he all but ran out of the church wandering around to the back of the venue walking towards a pond covered in weeping willows. He watched his breath mix with the cold air as he exhaled walking towards the icy pond. If he hadn’t been so terribly heart broken at the moment he would’ve taken pictures, but he couldn’t think of that at the moment so he walked closer to the water sitting down on one the benches crying into his hands. The love of his life was about to get married, she was about to be married, A/N was going to get married. The thought alone made him choke on his own sobs, he wished more than anything he would’ve told her how much he loved her, and how desperately he wanted to be the one she was going to spend the rest of her life with. He wasn’t sure how long he cried but he was interrupted by the sound of cracking leaves and another person’s sobs. He quickly looked over only to see Y/N leaning against the stonewall of the church closest to him in that white dress, her vale placed perfectly on her head. He looked at his watch and realized she was supposed to be walking down the aisle right now. He watched as she covered her mouth with one of her hands trying to conceal her cries, Tom looked at her in shock for a minute before standing up and walking closer to her wiping his eyes.

“Y/N,” He said softly making her jump slightly but she visibly relaxed when she saw it was him walking towards her like a prince coming to save her from the nightmare she couldn’t wake up from. He didn’t say anything as he moved to stand in front of her looking at her with tears burning in his own eyes. He’d be lying if he said he’d never imagined her in a wedding dress, and even though it wasn’t under these circumstances, she looked even more beautiful than he could’ve ever imagined. He licked his lips before shrugging off his suit jacket and placing it on her bare shoulders as he realized how cold she probably was. She stared at him for a minute letting a few more tears slip down her cheeks as she reached out and gently placed her hand on his cheek running her thumb over his cheekbones smiling softly at him as more tears fell from her eyes. He carefully brought his own hand up to cover her small one that rested on his face caressing her soft skin softly before reaching out with his other hand and carefully slipping it around her waist. “You look so-“ He shook his head softly in disbelief “Absolutely stunning,” He whispered and the sincerity in his eyes made her lips part in shock as she finally realized what that strange emotion that was always swirling in his eyes whenever he looked at her was.

“Tom,” She whispered her hand beginning to shake as she began crying once again.

“Y/N please d-“ He started softly but he was cut off whenever she reached up and pressed her lips against his. He was quick to cup her face his other hand and she moved her hands to his hair running her fingers through his curls like he’d dreamed she would so many times before. She didn’t know a kiss could feel like that, she thought she knew what butterflies felt like but that feeling she had just experienced for the first time was unlike anything she’d ever felt and she never wanted it to end. After a few moments Tom felt himself getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen so he reluctantly pulled away from her “Don’t marry him,” He finished making her look up at him through teary eyes. “Y/N I should’ve told you so long ago, but I love you so much, I’m so desperately in love with you. I have been since we were eighteen and we almost kissed on that rooftop before you told me you were dating him. Y/N I love you more than I thought it was possible to love someone and I’ve tried so hard to get over you I swear but I-I can’t it’s impossible because it’s you. You’re my person, you’re the person I’m supposed to be with and I’m sorry I just now have to balls to tell you this but it’s so true and if you don’t love me back I understand and I just want you to be happy but if you think at all that you might love me back then I’m begging you please don’t marry him.” He ranted making her smile up at him contrary to the tears leaking furiously through her eyes. She threw her arms around his neck holding him as close to her as possible.

“I’m so in love with you, I love you so fucking much Tom,” She said softly into his neck making his eyes widen as he quickly broke away and held her face between his hands searching her eyes for reassurance. “I always have,” She whispered making a few tears drop from his eyes. “I love you so much,” She repeated making him smile wider than he thought possible before picking her up in a hug twirling her around happily making her laugh into her neck smiling happily. She’d loved Tom since she was sixteen and he asked her to their school’s formal because she didn’t have a date, she’d dreamed so many times that this was their wedding not hers and Daniel’s and here she was about to run out on her wedding alone but instead ran straight into the arms of the true love her life. “God I love you so much,” She murmured making him kiss her cheek repeatedly.

“You have no idea how much I love you Y/N,” He assured as he set her down carefully before placing a hand on the back of her neck and pressing their lips together in the most passionate and love filled kiss either of them had ever experienced. They both smiled like idiots as they finally kissed realizing they were in the arms of their soul mate, only breaking away after it had transformed into a heated moment between the two as their teeth clashed slightly and their tongues wrapped around each other in every way possible. “What are you going to do now love?” Tom asked carefully not wanting to send her into a panic attack but the realization that their was a church full of people waiting for her to walk down the aisle began pressing on his mind.

“I’m not going in there,” She stated taking her vail off of her head and rolling it up into a ball making him smile brightly at her as she took of her engagement ring and held it in her hand. “I’ll mail it to him,” She smiled slipping it into Tom’s pants pocket.

“Tom are you-“ A voice called out making both of them look up to see Harrison rounding the corner. “Oh shit Y/N they’re all freaking out in there,” Harrison said seeing Y/N standing with his best friend. He looked between them realizing Tom’s hands were on her waist and how close they were standing. “No way,” He smiled brightly covering his face with his hands hiding his gigantic smile and the tears welling in his own eyes. “Oh my god you guys!” He exclaimed happily running towards them pulling them both into a bit of a group hug. “Fucking finally! Fate is real! True love exists!” He yelled loudly hugging them both tightly. “What the fuck are you going to do?” He asked breaking their hug. Y/N looked at Tom for a second before looking back at Harrison and reaching back into Tom’s pocket making Harrison scrunch his face up in disgust and look away afraid of what she was doing.

“You get to be a messenger,” She stated making Harrison shake his head no and glare at her. “Tell him I’m sorry and I’ll be in touch,” She said handing him her engagement ring before grabbing Tom’s hand and running away from Harrison towards the parking lot as the couple got ready to make a break for Tom’s car and get the hell out of there.

“What? No! Y/N!” Harrison yelled in anger but he couldn’t help the smile tugging on his lips as he watched them disappear from view. He smiled happily walking back into the chapel bracing himself for the awkward interaction as he walked up to Daniel who was chewing on his nails nervously as Y/N’s parents stood next to him with worry etched on their faces. He didn’t say anything just opened his hand Y/N’s showed him the ring. “She said she’d be in touch when she’s ready and she’s sorry,” He said making Daniel look at him in shock. “Good day now,” He smiled walking away quickly grabbing Emily’s and making a beeline out of the church and hopping into one of the cabs as they’d come in Tom’s car and he’d clearly taken it. He was right, Tom and Y/N were long gone driving off down the streets of London finally able to start their lives together.

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let me know what you guys think! and if you have requests or blurbs I’ll look at them!