reimaybe

[reimaybe]

🎧: ‘cause you have to — lany

“wait for me, okay?”

those were the last words you heard from sae. honestly, it seemed like he wanted to say more, but he held back. with a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure his parents weren’t watching, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead before walking away. you could’ve sworn his ears were tinged pink.

rin nudged you with a smirk, the kind that screamed mischief. “i saw that,” he muttered under his breath, grinning annoyingly. you rolled your eyes in response, brushing off his teasing.

still, those unsaid words lingered in your mind. you hoped they were what you thought they were. the three words that would have secured his spot in your future, the spot next to your bed, and the spot on your left ring finger. but even without saying them, you felt like you were already his. that kiss said enough.

a few years. that’s not too bad, right?

your relationship with sae during his early months in spain was great. though he wasn’t the type to communicate much, you could tell that he was actually trying. every few days, you’d get a call from him. one time, when you asked why he always opted to call instead of text, he simply responded, “typing is annoying.” in truth however, he just wanted to hear your voice.

but as the months passed, the calls grew less frequent. rin complained (and teased) especially, since you were the only one sae kept in touch with. you bribed rin with the popsicle sae used to buy to shut him up, and he immediately stopped sulking.

the turning point in your relationship came about a year after sae left. the calls turned into texts, reserved only for special occasions.

sae: happy birthday

[name]: i miss you

he left you on read, no response. after that, sae stopped reaching out entirely. your attempts to contact him went unanswered. you were his, but was he still yours?

no. was he ever yours to begin with?

in the three years without sae, you often felt like something was missing. the ache was subtle but constant. those years were especially hard: dealing with your studies, fending off a few persistent suitors, and enduring rin's teenage phase. honestly, you managed just fine. rin was great for scaring off suitors with a single glare, and you threw yourself into studying as a distraction. but the hardest part, the part you could never quite get used to, was the feeling of longing for someone halfway across the world.

once, you even tried to let someone else in, to open your heart just a little. and then you saw one of sae's interviews—calm, stoic, untouchable. that was all it took to slam your heart shut again. you felt sorry for the person you'd rejected, but not as sorry as you felt for yourself. you knew how pathetic it was to yearn for someone who probably didn’t even think of you.

now, at seventeen, you’re packing your life into boxes, shoving them into the back of a car. you hug your parents goodbye as they tearfully remind you to call often (which brought a dagger to your heart as you remember a specific someone), their voices cracking with pride and sadness. you’re not just leaving for university. you’re leaving behind everything—this house, this town, and the memories that haunted you.

and then, in a heartbeat, everything changed.

as you pulled out of the driveway, your thoughts consumed by all that you were leaving behind, the world outside blurred into an indistinct haze. a momentary distraction—a glance at your phone, a message from sae.

sae: i'm here. can we talk?

your heart dropped. why was he here, now of all times? you couldn't help but feel a spark of hope. you believed that he loved you—at least, the younger sae did. a part of you longed to believe that he still loved you like he did back then.

you loved him in that spring, and as much as you hated to admit it, you still loved him in this winter. but what about him? doubts began to creep in. maybe you had outgrown each other. maybe sae had outgrown you. maybe you’d become a distraction to him, dead weight—nothing but a reminder of a past he could no longer hold on to. perhaps this was just his way of giving you closure.

the questions lingered in your mind: “did you only love me because of that kiss? did you only love me because of the promises you made? does some part of you feel like you owe it to the boy you used to be? do you only love me ‘cause you have to?”

the screech of tires, the crunch of metal against metal, and then the darkness swallowed you whole. in those final moments, as the realization of what was happening crashed over you, the last remnants of sae’s voice echoed in your mind, blending with the chaos of the moment. you had been ready to leave it all behind, but now, it seemed, the goodbyes you gave would be your last.

“i’ll leave you two alone,” rin whispers, taking one last glance at your tombstone before walking away.

“sorry,” sae whispers. though there are a million things he wants to say, that's all he’s able to let out. afraid that if he talks any more, his facade will break down, and the carefully constructed walls he built around his heart will shatter under the weight of his grief. he wishes he could have been the one to love you more. he clenches his fists, feeling the sting of unshed tears burning at the corners of his eyes.

it hurts to know he will never hear your voice again, never be able to kiss your forehead again, and the crushing weight of it all leaves him hollow. a shell of the person he used to be, forever haunted by the knowledge that he let you slip away when he should have fought to keep you close.

“i'll take my leave now,” he whispers to rin, hands in his pockets with the coldest expression rin has ever seen.

the younger itoshi wanted to say something. fight in your stead for all the pain his elder brother had caused you, but he understood that causing a scene here wouldn’t be good.

plus, the tears on sae's face spoke enough.

[reimaybe]

🎧: paper rings — taylor swift

“i could never marry someone who doesn’t like dogs,” you spoke casually as your fingers spammed random keys while playing some random obby on roblox. yoichi, whose head was resting lazily on your shoulder, barely reacted; still half-lost in exhaustion from his last match.

“what if they’re allergic?” he mumbled.

“you’re not allergic to dogs,” you replied, glancing at him briefly before focusing back on the screen.

truthfully, yoichi hadn’t fully processed what you were saying, too tired to connect the dots. but when you paused the game and turned to him with a slight pout, he blinked, processing what you had said earlier.

“oh! i get it,” he said, a laugh escaping his lips as the pieces clicked.

you rolled your eyes, pushing him lightly. “okay, whatever, yoichi. get off me.”

you bit your lip, trying to suppress a smile—you were supposed to be sulking, after all—but the way his laugh grew louder made it impossible.

“alright, my turn to say something random,” he said, pulling you closer despite your half-hearted protests.

“will you marry me?,” he asked, a teasing grin spreading across his face.

“with what, paper rings? cut the crap.” you scoffed, hoping that he wouldn't notice the way your ears were flushed red.

his eyes lit up as he glanced around your dorm, spotting a pile of papers in the corner. “do you want to?”

you couldn’t help but laugh, the sound filling the small room and making his smile widen. “let me finish college first, yoichi.”

“deal,” he said, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your temple. “but after that, i’m holding you to it.”

years later, yoichi still finds himself smiling at the memory. it had been three years since you graduated college, and today was the championship match for the world cup–a long time dream of his, and with you by his side every step of the way.

after a hard-fought battle, the final whistle blew, and victory was theirs. as the crowd erupted in cheers, yoichi searched for you, his heart racing. when he finally spotted your teary-eyed face, all the pressure lifted from his shoulders.

without a word, you threw your arms around him, burying your face in his shoulder as cameras flashed, reporters rushed towards you two, and the field erupted in cheers.

still holding you tightly, yoichi whispered, “there’s something i need to ask you.”

your brow furrowed with curiosity as he knelt on the grass, pulling out a small velvet box. “remember when we joked about getting married?” he said, a smile breaking across his face.

your hands flew to your mouth in shock, and your eyes widened, the moment feeling surreal.

“will you marry me?”

[reimaybe]

🎧: cherry flavoured — the neighbourhood

in all honesty, rin didn’t even really like cherries.

cherry keychains, cherry-flavored drinks, cherry lip balms, cherry-red lips… what? he blinked at the thought, his face now dusted with a light cherry-red hue.

the only reason a person as aloof and reclusive as him was dealing with something so ‘lukewarm’ was because you insisted on it. for instance, when he mentioned that his bangs were getting in the way while playing soccer, you were quick to offer a cherry hair clip as a solution.

to say the least, the school’s populace of girls were dismayed to see the introverted, aloof, and good-looking itoshi rin playing soccer with a cute cherry-red clip, a stark contrast to the way he destructively played the sport.

by halftime, rin approached you, all sulky.

“can i take this off now?” he grumbled.

you laughed. “no. you look cute.”

from the corner of your eye, you noticed a good number of girls sighing in defeat as they looked at you two. what could that be about?

rin rolled his eyes playfully. “okay, whatever. you’re lucky i like you.”

“...what?”

“what?” and with that, rin hurriedly ran away to join his team huddle.

you could have sworn his ears were tinged with a hint of red. your hand covered your mouth as you held back a smile, your cheeks flushing a soft cherry color.

[reimaybe]

🎧: ocean eyes — billie eilish

“do you like me?”

it’s been about a minute since sae asked you that question. the silence enveloping you both. your mind raced as you sat near the edge, legs dangling over the water.

you reluctantly looked at the boy beside you, still munching on the popsicle you both had bought earlier at the convenience store.

“you’re staring,” sae mutters, his teal eyes looking back at you with intent.

the same teal eyes you’ve been seeing everytime you close your eyes. the same teal eyes you’ve been dreaming of since you both first met. the same teal eyes that always reminded you of the ocean. you’d do anything to drown in them forever.

it was around five pm, the sunset dusting the sky with hues of orange and pink. you have both just been staring at each other for a while, taking in each other’s company.

“so, do you?” sae asks.

“maybe,” you say with a soft laugh. “if you keep looking at me like that.”

“looking at you like what?”

“like you could love me.” you reply, almost a little too fast—your true feelings slipping out for just a second.

sae’s expression didn’t change much—his face always a picture of calm—but there was a flicker of something in his teal eyes, something you couldn’t quite place.

“is that a confession?” he asked, his voice even but his gaze sharp.

you hesitated, your heart pounding in your chest. “and if it is?

he looked into the distance for a moment, his lips tugging into the faintest hint of a smirk “you shouldn’t fall for me, you know.”

“i think it’s too late for that, sae,” you reply sarcastically.

“i’m flying to spain tomorrow,” he said, almost hesitating. “i don’t know when i’ll be back.”

you nodded, your chest tightening. “i know,” you admitted. “rin told me.”

there was a brief silence, broken only by the sound of his popsicle stick being thrown into the ocean. “so, what do you want me to do?” he asked.

“what?” you blinked, not understanding.

“if you want me to go, i’ll go,” he said sternly. “and if you want me to stay, then i’ll stay.”

the weight of his words pressed against your chest, but you shook your head, a small, bittersweet smile tugging at your lips. “sae, this is your dream,” you emphasized. “this is everything you’ve been working for. i can’t ask you to give that up for me.”

“don’t you want me to stay?”

“i do,” you confessed, your voice cracking slightly. “i really do. but your future is important.”

“you’re important too,” he countered, the rawness in his tone surprising you.

with a sudden rush of courage, you entangled your hand with his. “i’ll always be here, waiting for you, sae,” you said, your voice steady despite the ache in your chest. “but this? it can’t wait.”

the sunset cast long shadows over both of you, the golden light catching in his teal eyes as he stared at you. the silence that followed felt like it stretched on forever.

“okay,” he murmured, almost to himself. “but don’t forget about me.”

you smiled through the tears threatening to spill. “i couldn’t, even if i tried.”

[reimaybe]

I’M TIRED OF SMUT, I WANT TOOTH ACHING FLUFF AND HEART SHATTERING ANGST.