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tiktok is so funny a video will say "tell me your most unhinged fave fanfic tags in the comments" and ppl will be like "omg dont hate me but....dacryphilia 🫣" girl first of all men crying gets everyone hard Second of all

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Red being the colour of danger, of violence, of anger, of sin and of immortality. But also, red being the colour of love and desire and sacrifice. Red being the hero’s cape, the very thing which marks him as the hero.

Green being the colour of safety, of harmony, of growth, of peace and of rebirth. But also, green being the colour of villains and flickering lights in a dark alleyway and acid. Green, even though it often represents nature, too bright, becomes poison.

(let’s not forget they’re complementary colours)

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We never really talked about it but The Ugly Ducking that grew up to be a beautiful swan was still probably pretty fugly from a duck’s perspective

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To all tomarry fic writers, can y’all make a story where harry and tom are married, but when the story starts, tom got into a magical accident (maybe someone attacked him idk?), and he lost his memories, but healers are like urm its just a side effect it will come back eventually. And tom and harry goes home, and tom is kinda inlove with his husband, but then he starts to realize their married life sucks cuz its just an arranged marriage, like they sleep in separate bedroom and his husband is lowkey scared of him but still takes care of him so he’s determined to make his husband fall in love with him, and harry is just confused cuz tom whose aloof and cold just started being nice to him???? And harry is like aight it’s just a side effect I’m not gonna fall for it. Also like can we make it that harry’s parents (yes, they’re alive) made the arrangement and Harry kinda just thinks Tom was in it for the money or like the connection or something ( like he charmed Harry’s parents or smthing ) and harry who kinda already had a crush on him since Hogwarts but was never notice cuz he was like a 3rd year or smthing and tom was a dashing popular senior, agreed. And towards the end it can all be revealed that Tom already loves him this whole time (cliche) and like idk?? I just want that angst with good happy ending. I want amnesia tom being flirty, charismatic and so out of character from his usual self to make harry fall for him.

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This Week (x3) in Tomarrymort (22 April – 17 May 2025)

Some lovely fics completed over the last few weeks. Added some thoughts below on why I highly recommend checking them out! 

Splitting this post up into 2 parts because it got so long. Sorry, I know I said I would not let this get to 4 weeks again between posts (or 3.5 weeks in this case...), but I lagged for a bit, and the updates burning a hole in my inbox piled up 😭 So on the the one hand, I apologize that it's in 2 parts, but on the other hand, isn't it so amazing what our ship produced in just over 3 weeks? 🤗🥰🤍

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Tomarrymort Completed Must Reads 

⭐ you speak of the devil (like he's not your friend) by @amuria (M, 137k, complete)

Harry finds a Horcrux the summer before his sixth year. A deal is struck. (Or, when Harry wakes a seventeen-year-old Tom Riddle from the Gaunt's Ring, it is to a world where his future self has achieved none of their goals except one. Harry is proof that he's a great wizard after all.)

Why you should read it: This is a snappy, fast-paced, and super fun longfic featuring Harry and one of the horcruxes (the Ring horcrux in this case) teaming up to hunt down the other horcruxes. Harry’s snark had me laughing out loud in literally every chapter, and I love fics featuring Tom in Harry’s time. I can definitely see this fic becoming one of the classics of the ship. 

⭐ paint your eyes with sunsets by @boyneptunee (T, 7k, complete)

Tom Riddle moves to a new building. Harry Potter is his new neighbour. That's it, that's the story. Or: Modern!Au where Tom moves to a new apartment building where he more or less gets himself a boyfriend and a family. Oh, and there's also a cat. OR: A stray cat gets adopted by an entire building. Chaos ensues.

Why you should read it: Humorous modern AU with adorable slice-of-life scenes between Harry and Tom and their adopted cat. 

⭐ Hogwarts Valley by @aitafrog @chaos-bear @cindle-writes @curioushabitforarivergod @known-concepts Lytri @take-the-unknow-road-now @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger @tommarvoloriddlesdiary @valkyrie-chemist (M, 17k, complete)

Hogwarts Valley— a cozy life-sim where players rebuild a magical village, befriend quirky townsfolk, and maybe even find true love. You’ve just started getting into the game, and like all hyper fixations, it’s taken you to tumblr dot com—but what’s this? A post catches your eye; you don’t remember a “forest beast” in your play-through… but now that they mention it, one of your favorite characters, Harry Potter, has been acting a little odd. Maybe you can figure out why?

Why you should read it: This is one of the most creative pieces of meta I’ve ever seen in the Tomarry ship. It’s less a traditional fic, per se, and more a social media commentary/collage, comprised of creatively formatted posts about a Hogwarts-meets-Stardew-Valley style game, with a Harrymort love story at its center 🤍 If you’ve ever played Stardew Valley or dreamed about romancing a farmer like Harry, you need to run to read this!

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Tomarrymort One-Shot Must Reads 

One Shot | growing pains by @curioushabitforarivergod

One Shot | An Alley & Anal by @known-concepts

One Shot | The Thing Is by @chaos-bear

One Shot | A wild ride by @sri-verse

One Shot | boys will be boys by @cindle-writes

One Shot | anchor by @1300marshall

One Shot | ... I can explain by @l-archiduchesse

One Shot | Small white flowers by @chaos-bear

One Shot | with a slip of the moon in his hair (nerves) by @curioushabitforarivergod

One Shot | Die Alive by @katsitting

One Shot | wrong cauldron by @cindle-writes

One Shot | Love You to Death (Just Like a Fool) by @allthesmilesxo

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(continued in Part 2...)

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my bff drew tomarry for me again, thx u!!! @Kamarik21647007 💘💘💖💖💖💖 poor Harry, he's doomed and he's already resigned! Tomcat can't resist eating him 🤭🐱🐍🐱🐍🐱

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here’s your not so gentle reminder harry’s not piteously pathetic at potions. here’s a refresher:

fifth year, he sat for his owls and scored an exceeds expectations. not an acceptable, or poor, or dreadful, or troll (an ee in owls most probably equals a >75 in gcse o’s during the 90s)

he didn’t duplicate hermione, shrink her, and sneak her into the exam hall to pluck answers off her brain. he didn’t scribble a cheat sheet a la fa mulan on his arm

fifth year he has yet to clap eyes on the half-blood prince’s notes

as always, he didn’t feel confident about his answers/abilities, but he bloody exceeded expectations

he got into newts potions, a class of only twelve students

so harry got an ee, ron got an ee, maybe everyone else got an oustanding. or maybe only half a dozen got outstanding, and the rest exceeds expectations.

it still means the entirety of hufflepuff sixth years aren’t promising potioneers except ernie macmillan. poor boy probably tutors the others in the common room. all of the slytherin sixth years, excluding four, are absolutely worse off than harry and ron at potions. ravenclaw sixth years are shamefully inadequate at potions too, aside from four students.

harry’s not a marvel at potions. he doesn’t enjoy potions. but he’s good at potions, he’s capable enough. he isn’t blowing up cauldrons every month, that’s seamus. he can differentiate the ingredients. he knows how to cut, dice, chop, and stir. the spirit of sixteen year old severus snape didn’t possess him via the pages to help him brew his elixirs and essences in slughorn’s class. harry deciphered snape’s spidery, crammed annotations and executed them perfectly.

i’m bloody tired of these rancid ‘harry sucks so bad at potions except when he’s got the prince or hermione’s help’ takes.

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blushing is so stupid you're literally my blood wtf. obey me

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Tips for writing those gala scenes, from someone who goes to them occasionally:

Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.

You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.

When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.

A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)

Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)

The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.

Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.

Members of the press generally aren’t allowed to freely circulate at nicer galas/events without a very good reason. When they do, they need to identify themselves before talking with someone.

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harry can be brash and loud, quiet and cunning, or sunshine and smiles, i literally don’t give a flying fuck

what i DO want, is people to keep that feral quality harry has.

brash and loud!harry who is practically foaming at the mouth to grab someone by the collar and defend whatever cause he believes in; spitting cuss words and hexes all the while

quiet and cunning!harry who follows the people he dislikes into empty hallways and leaves with bloody fists and a grin on his face; wand still in its holster

sunshine!harry who wraps others in tight hugs only to get closer access to their necks, ripping the tender flesh apart with his bare teeth; smiling wide to show red stained canines

you could make harry the embodiment of all that is good and holy, but as long as he fucks shit up to get there

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Tom/Voldemort surprised Harry for Valentine’s day

a valentine for @valkyrie-chemist 💌

For once, Harry was excited for Valentine’s Day. 

His pen pal, whom he’d never met in person, would be visiting Hogsmeade, and the two were to meet for dinner. It was his first real date, though they’d never called it a “date” explicitly in their letters – but what else could a Valentine’s Day candlelit dinner reservation mean?

The spot behind the Shrieking Shack where they’d agreed to meet was quite remote, and Harry shifted nervously from foot to foot as he waited, internally praying that he wouldn’t be stood up.

Of course, instead of having the stereotypical V-Day trauma of getting ghosted, he found himself being forcefully apparated to Malfoy Manor by Voldemort himself, which was far more traumatic. 

And though he’d heard Voldemort’s evil monologues time and time again, this time was just heartbreaking - finding out that the pen pal he thought had understood him and liked him was just Voldemort with an entrapment scheme actually brought him to tears, and he couldn’t stop his eyes from welling up.

After making a dramatic twirl to face Harry, Voldemort stopped mid-sentence. “Are you…crying?”

Harry sniffed, frustrated. “I liked my pen pal. We were going to go on a date. Of course I’m upset that it was just you trying to trick me the whole time. Worst surprise ever.”

Voldemort’s paper-white cheeks slowly reddened. “You…liked him? You thought it was a date?”

Harry nodded, looking wretched.

After a moment’s hesitation, Voldemort held his wand to Harry’s forehead. Harry braced himself for the horrible pain of his Cruciatus, disarmed and defenseless. 

“Obliviate.”

**

Harry shifted nervously from foot to foot as he waited, internally praying that he wouldn’t be stood up.

“Harry?” said a voice from behind him, and Harry turned around with a pleased smile. It was a wonderful surprise – his pen pal hadn’t stood him up, after all.

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Soulmates as a horror concept.

You WILL love this person. It doesn't matter who you loved before; any feelings you had, any promises you made, they will become inconsequential as soon as you lock eyes with the stranger Fate has picked for you.

There's no way to stop it.

There's no way to say "no."

You will meet someone and with a single glance, both of you will become someone new, someone who's now bound to this stranger whether you like it or not, want it or not.

Trapped in a dance together until the day you die.

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yeah I will never be over that part in deathly hallows when harry visits godric’s hollow and thinks about what it would have been like to grow up there with his parents and by the time he gets to their grave he feels so much grief and despair that not only do we get a rare on-the-page cry but he wishes he was sleeping under the snow with them

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Do you think Harry would swear or has sworn? Such a niche question, but trying to realistic write him swearing is such a mixed basket. On the one hand, I don't really picture him doing it, even under extreme distress. But I can also imagine him letting out a light swear if he's having a bad day and has a minor inconvenience

I 100% believe Harry swears. This post ended up being a little longer since I kinda went off and detailed how a bunch of characters in HP swear, not just Harry.

Sometimes, characters are shown to "swear" on page:

“Blimey,” said Ron weakly. (CoS)

“Blimey, it is!” said Ron quietly (OotP)

“What in the name of Merlin are you doing?” said Ron (OotP)

“Why the hell,” panted Ron (DH)

“I’ll join you when hell freezes over,” said Neville. (DH)

“Merlin’s beard,” Moody [Barty] whispered (GoF)

“Merlin’s beard,” said Mr. Weasley wonderingly (OotP)

“Harry, what the hell’s going on?” asked Bill (DH)

“Blasted thing,” Snape was saying. (PS)

("Blimey" and "blasted" are here since they were considered mild swear words when they became part of the language like "gosh" and "darn". "Merlin's beard" is kinda like saying "Jesus Christ" which was also considered a mild swear, even if no one really considers most of the above swears by today's standards).

The above is done when the swears are (very) light and something that you could print in a children's book. But sometimes, characters swearing is censored in the books:

Dean swore loudly. (CoS)

Thankfully, Snape sneezed at almost exactly the moment Ron swore. (CoS)

Ron dropped several boxes, swore, and made a rude hand gesture at Fred that was unfortunately spotted by Mrs. Weasley, who had chosen that moment to appear. (HBP)

and Lee swore so badly that Professor McGonagall tried to tug the magical megaphone away from him (PoA)

The lift clattered into view and they hurried inside. Every time it stopped Mr. Weasley cursed furiously and pummelled the number nine button. (OotP)

When that happens, I assume the swears are ones JKR couldn't get away with in a children's/YA book series. Like: "fuck" or "shit".

(Molly calling Bellatrix "bitch" is the only harsher swear word not censored in the books)

When Harry swears, it's sometimes not censored:

“She doesn’t love me,” said Harry at once. “She doesn’t give a damn — ” (OotP)

“And he didn’t think my mother was worth a damn either,” said Harry (HBP)

“Why not?” asked Harry. “Let’s get rid of the damn thing, it’s been months — ” (DH)

“Where the hell have you been?” Harry shouted. (DH)

But often enough, Harry's cursing is censored:

Harry swore under his breath (OotP)

Harry swore and turned away. (OotP)

Harry swore at the top of his voice, spinning on the spot to see where Mundungus had gone. (HBP)

Harry swore. Someone screamed. (HBP)

So, to me, this suggests Harry says "fuck" or British stuff like "sod off". He 100% does use harsher swears, and it's in character for him to do so. He swears under his breath when shit goes badly or he finds himself in a situation he really doesn't want to be in. He swears loudly when Mandungus escapes him, so when he's really angry, he can go and shout a proper F-bomb. Let Harry say "fuck", his life sucks and he deserves it.

Ron also swears sometimes harsher swears than "hell" or "bloody hell" but he does so more rarely than Harry and when things are really bad. Usually, he goes for lighter stuff like: "Merlin", "hell", or "blimey".

Hermione doesn't swear except for the "Merlin's pants" comment in DH which was clearly meant to be "Merlin's balls" but JKR got censored by her editors and one time she says "damn" in DH. Hermione doesn't even use light swears like "Merlin", "damn" or "hell". She, just, doesn't swear until DH, and even then only twice. Like, her most extreme for the majority of the books is going: "oh my", "oh my god", or "oh my goodness". Hermione is the only member in the Golden Trio that doesn't swear:

“Oh, my — ” Hermione grabbed Harry’s arm. (PoA)

“Oh my goodness,” said Hermione suddenly (PoA)

“Oh gosh, I forgot!” said Hermione (OotP)

“Oh my ...” Harry heard Hermione squeal, terrified, beside him. (OotP)

“Today?” shrieked Hermione. “Today? But why didn’t you — oh my God — you should have said — ” (HBP)

“Oh my — !” shrieked Hermione, as she and Ron caught up with Harry (DH)

I went a bit off track, but theses are some characters and how they swear that I found while searching this:

Harry, Dean & Lee: swear in profanities that need to be censored ("fuck", "shit", "sodding hell") often and sprinkle lighter swears ("hell", "damn") in there. Harry uses "damn" relatively often.

Ron, the twins, Bill & Arthur: use mostly light swears ("hell", "bloody", "blasted") but use some harsher swears ("fuck", "shit") when needed (and Molly isn't looking).

(I assume Ginny is in this above category too, but I only found her saying "damn" once)

Neville, Dumbledore, Hagrid & Snape (at least, when we see him): use only light swears such as "hell", "blasted" or "Merlin" and its derivatives.

Molly: Doesn't really swear except that one time (calling Bellatrix a bitch).

Hermione & Luna: never use profanities unless really at their limit. Don't even use light swears or "Merlin" and its derivatives. Hermione says: "oh my god" or "oh my goodness", Luna says: "oh, no".

Lupin doesn't swear anywhere on-page either.

Surprisingly I couldn't find any mention of Sirius swearing, not even light stuff (like "Merlin's beard"). I guess he really was raised to have proper manners. Or maybe he's actively censoring himself in front of Harry to be a good rule model.

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You know, it's funny, holly wood is actually quite pale, and yew is usually a caramel color, so that means Harry's wand was stained, and Tom's wand was bleached. Their natural wandwood colors are swapped.

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I think in the same way there's a 90/10 rule with horror and comedy (horror works best when it's 90% horror and 10% comedy and vice versa) there's a 90/10 rule for some relationships in fiction that's like. Wholesome and fucked up. A good friendship is at its most compelling when it's also 10% a bit fucked up. Fucked up relationship is at its most compelling when there's at least 10% of something actually sweet and substantive within. Do you get me

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no more cold and calculating i want warm and calculating. i want characters who use deductive reasoning to figure out whether their friend would like a wool or cotton quilt based off of their lifestyle, career, hobbies, and habits. i want "your nails are often chipped because you work for a law firm as a typist for this company which notoriously underbudgets their IT department, so ive bought you a keyboard cover that will not only prevent manicure damage but is also sensory friendly because I know you dislike certain clicking noises". i want characters who figure out their friends entire schedules and social battery levels just by examining who only use that info to know when the best time is to hang out with them. i want characters who create elaborate, supervillain level schemes just to get their hands on some collectible they know their best friend wants. most of all i want characters who do not use intelligence and reasoning skills as a reason to be cruel but as a means to be kind