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renereneo · 4 days

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NEW “WOVEN BY TIME” CHAPTER IS OUT NOW!!

had fun drawing chosoyuki’s outfits in the uni era 🥺🩷 stay tuned for more pieces hehe!!!!!

and again im having so much fun doing this collab with @writersblockave i love sharing many ideas about this wonderful work and future collabs!! STAY TUNEDDD

and ofc SUPPORT HER WORK!!!!!! SHES SO TALENTED!!! 🗣️🗣️

(and heres a lil gift for mari heehee)

𝐰𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨𝐲𝐮𝐤𝐢 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

⇠ previous chapter

story summary: Choso and Yuki meet when they are seven, and they become best friends. They grow up together, and, at some point, the feelings that Choso has for Yuki become… not very best friend-like. As life brings them together and pushes them apart, Choso will always know that Yuki will forever be his first love—and perhaps his only love.

chapter summary: Yuki calls Choso at 3 a.m. and Choso goes to a club.

pairing: choso/yuki

wc: 4,4k

tags: pining, angst and feels

a/n: @renereneo made a beautiful drawing of choso and yuki during their early days that you can check out here! this story is also available on ao3.

2004 | Nineteen years old

Despite the closed doors and windows and the fact that it was over 1 a.m., Choso could still hear the party roaring outside his room. It seemed like he was the only one stuck with a professor hell-bent on making first-year students fail at every chance he got.

He sighed as he tried to focus once more on learning Programming Fundamentals, his eyes straining behind his glasses. The small desk in his room was cluttered with open textbooks and his Dell laptop, and the walls were covered in sticky notes with code snippets and other reminders. Other than the desk, the small dorm room was comprised of a single bed and a drawer for storage. He tried to decorate the walls with band posters, but, again, it was mostly yellow sticky notes.

Choso couldn’t really complain. He had it good for a first-year Computer Science student at the Tokyo Institute of Technology—at least he didn’t have to share his room, and the dormitory was close enough to the campus that he could walk to his classes.

Though he had every intention of sharing an apartment with Yuki in the first year—and every year after that for the rest of their lives, actually—but those plans went down the drain when Yuki told him four months ago that her application to the Tokyo Institute of Technology didn’t get approved.

Choso knew there was a chance that would happen since Yuki was not as interested in or exactly good with technology and the similar courses that the university provided, but it still pained him when she told him she was going to Hokkaido University instead to study International Business.

He didn’t even know she had applied to a different university, much less one with a campus in Sapporo, and if he had known, he would’ve followed her there. The university name mattered very little in comparison to the love he felt for Yuki and how much he missed her.

Even as he tried to focus on studying, his eyes gravitated to the pile of letters stacked on the corner of his desk. It was the only organized section of his room at this point, and probably because he didn’t touch it very often.

When Yuki first moved away to Sapporo a year ago, they would write letters to each other constantly. It was Yuki’s idea, despite Choso saying they could do the same with emails and not have to pay for stamps and wait days for the letters to arrive. It didn’t matter; Yuki wanted the novelty of exchanging letters with a loved one, and Yuki got what Yuki wanted.

The letters mainly were just them talking about their week, embellished with a few love declarations now and then, and maybe an attached item they found that reminded them of each other; Yuki had once sent a receipt for a movie rental of Titanic and Choso sent her a keychain of the Tokyo Tower he bought one day at a convenience store.

Even with the letters, Choso would still call her at least twice a week, much to his parent's demise due to the high price of long-distance calls. They would spend hours on the phone as Yuki ranted about all the things she missed in Tokyo and all the new stuff she found exciting and nice in Sapporo.

But it got harder once they got into university. Their parents weren’t paying for the long, expensive phone calls anymore, and they had to pay off their allowance—most of which went to just surviving in university, away from home. Their schedules weren’t meeting, and even when they tried to schedule a call at a day and time that worked for both, it seemed like something always came along and got in their way. A party, assignments, exams, Yuki’s nosey roommate.

As Choso stared at the pile of letters from Yuki, he realized that it had been over a month since they last talked on the phone or had any contact whatsoever. The last letter she sent was about how she was struggling with the Business Mathematics class and how she wished he was there to help her with the assignments as he had with their math homework throughout their entire lives.

He had sent her a letter back at the time, telling her that he could still try to teach her over email or the phone.

He never got a reply.

Choso shook his head, trying to disperse his thoughts from Yuki as he looked back at the open page of Programming 101, but failing to absorb any information when all he could think about was how much he missed her.

It took him another hour and a half to get through just ten pages of the book, and even then, he couldn’t really say he fully memorized all the knowledge. But when the clock struck 3 a.m., he was interrupted not by his thoughts but by the ringtone of his cell phone, buzzing at the corner of his desk.

Yuki, it read on the Nokia display. Choso arched his eyebrows at the sight of her calling him. First, because it was usually him calling her, and even that hadn’t happened in over a month. Secondly, because it was the middle of the night, and he couldn’t possibly imagine why Yuki was calling him at 3 a.m.

“Yuki?” Choso picked up the call, already alarmed, and took off his glasses.

“Choso! Hey! I thought you wouldn’t pick up,” she giggled at the other end of the line, and her voice was slurred.

Choso could tell immediately that she was drunk, but it was not the buzzing alcohol in her speech that sent a jolt through his body. It felt like he had forgotten what she sounded like after not hearing her voice for a month, yet when she spoke, she still sounded exactly like what he pictured in his mind.

“Of course I would pick up, Yuki… Is everything okay? It’s really late. Are you at a party?” he tried to shake off the feelings emerging from hearing Yuki’s voice and instead focused on the matter at hand—Yuki calling him drunk in the middle of the night.

“You know, I just realized… the stars here don’t look the same as in Tokyo. Do you remember when we would go up to the roof of my house to look at the stars?” she asked, every sentence punctuated by a drunk giggle, ignoring his questions.

“I do. They don’t look the same because you’re looking at them from a different part of the world,” Choso chewed on his bottom lip anxiously. “Are you okay, Yuki? Where are you?”

There was no background noise at her end of the phone call, and it only worried Choso more.

“I’m fine! Just walking back to my dorm from a party. I wanted to hear your voice,” she said, this time without laughing, though her voice was still groggy from the alcohol. “I miss you, Choso.”

Choso closed his eyes at that, her words squeezing and slicing his heart. Still, he had to focus on Yuki’s safety, something rather difficult to do when she was calling him from the other side of the country.

“I miss you too, Yuki.… Can you tell me where you are? I’ll call you a cab to get you home,” he asked, promptly looking up phone numbers of taxi services in Sapporo on his laptop’s browser.

Yuki chuckled lowly. “No, it’s fine. I like walking at night. Gives me time to think. Makes me think of us.”

Choso sighed, at a loss and not knowing what to do. He didn’t know Yuki’s location, and it was not like he could call a cab service and ask them to look around for a tall, blonde, 19-year-old drunk girl roaming the streets of Sapporo. Plus, he didn’t want to hang up on her to even try to do that, either, but knowing she was walking alone in the middle of the night worried him to no end.

“Yuki, please be careful. Let me call a cab for you, it’s really late,” he tried to ignore her last sentence, and the way it stirred barely buried feelings in his heart.

“I saw this couple at the party tonight, and the girl was making the guy down shots of tequila. Each time, he would say they probably had enough for the night, but when she refilled his cup, he would drink it with her—reminded me of us,” she chuckled, ignoring Choso’s plea for her safety. He bit the inside of his cheek at her words, his body aching with longing and both real and made-up memories. “And then, on my walk, I passed by this convenience store, and they had takoyaki Umaibo, the one you would always buy for our movie marathons.”

Choso swallowed and licked his lips, making the executive decision that since she was not going to tell him where she was so he could call her a cab, he might as well keep her on the line until she got home so he’d know she was safe. “Sounds like a regular night for us back then.”

“Right! And… There was this song playing at the party, and I couldn’t tell exactly which one it was, but it had that beat—like the one you used to hum while we studied,” she said, repeating the hum, and Choso recognized it immediately.

“Drive by Incubus,” he said.

“Yeah, that one,” Yuki said, and he could almost picture her smiling as she said it. “I keep seeing you everywhere. It’s probably because I love you. That’s a sign of love, right?”

Choso’s breath got stuck in his throat. Love. She still loved him. Even when they were still talking and exchanging letters frequently, they had abandoned the term a while ago. Choso couldn’t even remember the last time they said ‘I love you’ to each other.

Yet there she was, at 3 a.m., after a month of silence and a year of distance, and her heart still echoed his.

“I feel so dumb sometimes,” she sighed, and Choso blinked, snapping out of his trance.

“Dumb? Why?”

“I wasted so much time without recognizing my feelings for you. I should’ve known since that New Year’s kiss, but it felt so overwhelming then—seeing how you felt for me and thinking I could not correspond, not in the same way.” Her voice is lower now, though her words are still slurred. “Then you started dating Mayumi, and, I don’t know, it was weird. Felt weird.”

Choso breathed in deeply. Maybe he shouldn’t have prodded about her true feelings about their past when she was clearly drunk, but he couldn’t help himself. “Why did it feel weird, Yuki?”

“I don’t know—well, I do now, but back then, I couldn’t understand why I felt like that, why I felt jealous of you when we were just friends. But it just felt weird to know that you were in love with another girl,” she mumbled. “Which was shitty of me, considering that I didn’t even acknowledge that I was in love with you back then as well. I just wanted you all to myself, one way or the other.”

“I wasn’t—I never loved Mayumi, Yuki,” Choso sighed, leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling. “I broke up with her because I was still in love with you.”

There was a beat of silence in the line, and Choso wondered for a second if the call dropped. But before he could check it, Yuki said, her voice barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry if I got in the way of you loving someone else, then. Maybe it would be easier… Would’ve been easier if you were in love with Mayumi and still dating her. At least she’s not on the other side of the country.”

Choso’s heart dropped further at Yuki’s words, but he couldn’t deny that they carried some truth. “Maybe. But I guess we’ll never know. It’s always been you for me, Yuki.”

It was the truth, and it was so true that it hurt. He had spent the last month trying to move on, to get over her. Hell, he had been doing it since she told him she was going to the Hokkaido University, and Choso figured they wouldn’t see each other again for a long time—if ever.

“It’s always been you for me as well,” she said, and after an awkward beat stretched on the line as neither knew what to say, she chuckled lowly, though her laugh lacked any true joy. “I’m sorry. I’m really drunk and calling you in the middle of the night to relive these things and… I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Yuki. You can call me any time,” Choso said with a sigh.

She could, really, and he would always love hearing from her, but hearing her voice again didn’t lessen the ache in his heart. It only made it worse, and he didn’t even think that was possible. To have her voice whispering in his ear, to feel like he could turn his face and see her once more, only to remember that she was still on the other side of the country and not in his bedroom.

“I… Yeah. You too,” she said. “Anyway, I’m in my dorm now. I’ll let you go to sleep. I should probably get some as well.”

“Okay,” Choso agreed, even though he had no plans of going to sleep, nor did he want the call to end. He didn’t know when he would hear from her next and if her confession about still being in love with him would matter at all to her sober mind in the morning. Still, he couldn’t stay on the phone with her forever. “Goodnight, Yuki.”

“Goodnight, Choso. Sleep well.”

She hung up the call, and it took Choso a couple of seconds after hearing the line drop to finally lower his cell phone from his ear. His eyes drifted from the ceiling and down to his arm. He was still holding the cell phone in his right hand, and right below sat his tattoo. The first and only one he had ever gotten at the time.

35.7036°N, 139.5804°E, it read in small letters, tattooed on his right wrist. The coordinates pinpointed a spot between Choso and Yuki’s houses back in Kichijoji, the neighborhood they grew up in. Their home until Yuki’s family moved to Sapporo, and Choso left to move to his current dorm.

The tattoo was Yuki’s idea. A month after she moved to Sapporo, in 2003, one year ago, she told him they should get matching tattoos, much to their parent’s complaints and refusal to pay for it. Choso wasn’t too sure if he wanted to spend his allowance on a tattoo, and his parents were constantly telling him that he would never get a job if he had any ink on his body.

But Yuki insisted, and he gave in. Plus, he liked the idea of being able to look at something in his body and be reminded of her in her absence until they started going to university together. He couldn’t possibly know at the time that Yuki would stay in Sapporo and that he would remain apart from her, perhaps forever.

They had many ideas of what to get tattooed, from the cherry blossoms that would bloom in the spring in the Inokashira Park, the one close to their houses, to a constellation that could mark a moment they were star gazing together. Ultimately, when Yuki suggested the coordinates to their childhood street in Kichijoji, they both agreed it was the perfect tattoo—a reminder of where they spent their childhood and teenage years together, being each other’s many firsts. First friend, first kiss, first love, first time.

Maybe he would get another tattoo, but the matching one with Yuki would always be his first one—another one of the firsts they shared.

As Choso stared at the tattoo, his phone now off on his hand, and Yuki’s drunk confessions still ringing in his ears, he wondered if the old coordinates were all that there was to him and Yuki. A love that remained in the past, inked into his body forever, a source of pain that remained long after the needles of the tattoo gun were gone. If those coordinates were the only point at which their paths would ever cross in their lives, and if they were destined never to meet again, never add new numbers to their skin.

He wondered if he would ever be able to move on from her. To open his heart and love someone else.

He wondered if he even wanted to.

2005 | Twenty years old

Despite being positively drained from the draining combination of working as a software developer intern at a tech startup and studying Computer Science, Choso still accepted his friend's invitation to a club in the evening. They had a discount for uni students that night, and it was the first year Choso was able to go to a club due to his age, so he said yes to his friend.

A friend who was then making out with a girl against a wall, leaving Choso alone to his own devices as he didn’t know anyone else at the party. Sure, he recognized some people he had seen on campus before, even some classmates, but none that he actually felt comfortable starting a conversation with.

It seemed like that was the norm for Choso at parties.

He was bopping his head to the music, relieved to have shed the suit and tie he wore for his internship, and put on denim pants and a casual button-down shirt. Other than listening to pop songs that weren’t really his taste in music and pretending to be having a good time, all that Choso did was occasionally go refill his beer. He figured the night would be more bearable if he were drunk enough to appreciate the music and also to relax after a hard day at work and uni.

He was on his way back to his corner when a girl turned around and stumbled into him, the action making nearly all of his beer fall on the ground. Luckily, it didn’t go on either of their clothes, but she was still wide-eyed as she realized she had spilled a stranger’s drink.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” the girl yelled over the music.

Choso looked at her, shaking his head. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not, I—I’m sorry! Let me buy you another one,” she said.

“It’s really no problem,” Choso gave her a small smile. “I should slow down with the beers anyway.”

“No, I was on my way to get another one! Let me buy you one. Please,” she insisted.

Choso relented, nodding at the girl. She smiled at him as they made their way out of the dancing crowd to the bar. She ordered them two beers as they got to the bar counter, and Choso got a better chance to look at her, though he couldn’t discern much from her features between the club’s low lighting and his own intoxicated state of mind.

She was a bit shorter than him but still tall for the average girl. Her hair looked like it was jet-black, and part of it was up in an updo with straight-across bangs. She was wearing a brown boho-chic dress with a denim jacket, a long necklace, and hoop earrings.

“I’m Saki, by the way,” she looked at Choso with a smile. Her eyes were dark brown, her eyelids droopy—probably from the alcohol.

“Oh. I’m Choso,” he introduced himself back.

“Do you go to university around here?” Saki asked.

One of the bartenders delivered their beers, and Saki promptly paid for both of them. Still, even with the beer in her hand and her debt repaid, she made no move to go back to the dancefloor.

“Yeah. I study Computer Science at the Tokyo Institute of Technology,” Choso took a sip of his beer. “You?”

“Oh, me too! I mean, I go to the TIT as well. But I study Industrial Design,” she said with a smile. “Computer Science seems hard.”

“It’s… challenging, for sure,” Choso bit down on his bottom lip, wondering why she was making conversation with him when she seemed perfectly comfortable on the dance floor with a group of girls. “Not too bad, though. Do you like Industrial Design?”

“Mm-hmm,” she took a swing of her beer. “It’s fun. Classes are hard, but it’s still fun. I get to express my creative side more than I expected in a technology university.”

Choso nods as she talks, drinking a bit more of his beer. “Sounds nice. I don’t get to do a lot of creative work. But I’m not that creative anyway.”

“I’m sure you are,” Saki smiled at him. “There’s gotta be something you’re passionate about creatively.”

“I… No, I don’t think so,” he said. “Mostly just the typical Computer Science student.”

“What about tattoos? I see the numbers on your wrist. Do they have any meaning?”

Choso gulped, his eyes diverting to the coordinates inked into his wrist before looking back at Saki. “It’s, uh, it’s the coordinates to the street I grew up in.”

“That’s cute. A little reminder of where you came from,” she smiled.

A little reminder of a lot of things, actually, Choso thought.

“Yeah,” Choso cleared his throat. “Do you have any tattoos?”

“Not yet, but I’m thinking of getting a little camera somewhere,” she said. “Do you want other tattoos?”

“Maybe in the future… I don’t know. Feels like a big decision to make. Getting something in your body permanently,” Choso said, chewing on the inside of his bottom lip.

“Well, you made the decision before already, right? What’s the difference?”

“It’s…” Choso trailed off, his mind conjuring up images of Yuki that he tried to push away. “It’s different. Why a camera? You like photography?”

Saki started to tell Choso all about her endeavors with photography and being in the photography club at university. And when she ran out of things to talk about, she changed the topic, asking Choso more about his course and internship.

It was nice talking to her. Choso couldn’t remember the last time he had talked for that long to a girl. Well, there was Yuki, but he hadn’t spoken to her in over six months at that point. And though the memories that came with Saki asking about his tattoo were painful, he still managed to distract himself from them and just enjoy talking to a girl for the first time in a long time.

So much so that when Saki announced that her favorite song was playing, an upbeat one that Choso had never heard before, and dragged him to the dancefloor, he didn’t put up a fight. He danced, albeit awkwardly, with her. And when she laced her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss, he just followed his instincts and his drunk, hazy mind and kissed her back.

She had to leave soon after that, but not before giving her cell phone number to Choso.

Late at night, after getting back from the club and taking a shower, Choso lay in bed waiting for sleep to come. He stared at the display of his cell phone, seeing Saki’s number on it. Without thinking much about it, he sent her a text. An innocent hey, this is Choso. Hope you got home safely.

But when he closed the text message, he saw the list of the recent messages he had sent. A few people from university and a few from work. At the very bottom, Yuki.

His eyes went down slightly to stare at his tattoo. It had been six months since he last talked to Yuki. Six months without hearing her voice, without knowing what she had been up to, if she was happy in her university, if she got the internship position she was trying to get the last time they spoke.

His finger hovered over the call button for a few moments, but ultimately, he didn’t press it, resting the cell phone by his side on the bed. He did want to know how she was doing. What she had been up to, and all the other things. He missed her. A lot. As he thought back to how he felt when she first moved to Sapporo and stayed there for university, he remembers missing her so much that it physically pained him to think of her.

He still missed her, but the pain was just a dull ache now. A soreness in his muscles. Maybe he was healing, after all.

Yuki would forever be his first love. But, perhaps, unlike with Mayumi, his girlfriend in high school, now there was space in his heart for someone else. Someone that wasn’t on the other side of the country, someone that he hadn’t spoken to in six months.

For the first time in a long time, Choso looked at his heart and saw something other than despair. For once, he had hope.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #chosoyuki #choso kamo #choso #jjk choso #tsukumo yuki #yuki tsukumo #jjk fanfic #yuki #IM SO HALPY TO DO COLLABS WITH AMAZING PEOPLE 🥺#PLEASE SUPPORT HER WORK!!!!

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renereneo · 4 days

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CHAPTER 2 IS OUT NOW!!!!!

𝐰𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨𝐲𝐮𝐤𝐢 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨

⇠ previous chapter

chapter summary: Choso and Yuki go to their first party. Choso tries to move on and fails. Distance becomes a foe for the first time.

pairing: choso/yuki

wc: 6,9k

tags: loss of virginity, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex

a/n: @renereneo made a beautiful drawing of choso and yuki during their early days that you can check out here! this story is also available on ao3.

2001 | Sixteen years old

It was the first time Choso and Yuki were spending New Year’s Eve outside their houses. For most of their lives, they spent it separately, each with their own families, but for the last three years, Yuki would usually tag along with Choso’s family and spend it with them, whether at home or a relative’s house.

After Yuki convinced Choso to do so, they begged to spend the previous New Year’s Eve at a party that one of their classmates was throwing. The change from 2000 to 2001 had many people convinced that the world would end, and, as a result, people wanted to party hard on what could be their last day alive.

Their families said no, so Yuki once again watched the fireworks with Choso’s family.

This year, though, they were sixteen. Not adults by any means, but they figured something had to change with the significant age. Yuki convinced Choso to beg to his parents again to go to a party, even though Choso had no actual desire to go to the party. He would much rather stay home than mingle with classmates he barely talked to. But Yuki gets what Yuki wants—maybe not from her parents, but always from Choso.

Their parents allowed it this time. After cautionary tales of alcohol-induced comas and how weed opens the doors for other drugs, Choso and Yuki skedaddled off their houses, going to a party for the first time in their lives.

Choso wasn’t oblivious to Yuki's short dress, either. He had never seen her wear something like that, but again, this was the first party they were going to. She had even dove into some makeup, and, all in all, she looked like a completely different person from the usual tomboy-ish girl Choso was used to.

Not different in a bad way, though. Just different.

At some point in the last few years, Choso had his own growth spurt, and though he was taller than he was at thirteen, Yuki was still taller than him. When he knocked on her door, she had heels on and was towering over him. After a few minutes with them on, though, she quickly realized how uncomfortable they were and opted for a pair of flats instead.

The party was… something.

Choso could recognize some faces in the crowd—people from school—but he wasn’t close to any of them. He was only friends with Yuki—his only friend, his best friend.

Yuki was a bit closer to some of the other people in their class, though she wouldn’t necessarily say they were friends, but close enough to strike up some conversation as they danced.

All of that to say that whenever Yuki chose to go dance with the girls from their class, Choso leaned on a wall next to a table where the alcoholic drinks were sitting, entirely alone.

He watched her dance and laugh as he sipped on a drink that tasted more like soda than like vodka—he supposed since that was the first time he was drinking vodka. He kept a trained gaze on her as she moved her body as the music dictated and tried to ignore all the thoughts he was having that did not align with watching your best friend dance.

But he couldn’t help it when he saw a boy who couldn’t be much older than them approach her on the dance floor, leaning in to whisper something in her ear that made her laugh. Even though he tried to stay neutral, as a best friend should, Choso’s blood was boiling at the sight.

When Yuki kept talking to the man and eventually started to dance with him, Choso gritted his teeth and swallowed the rest of the drink in his cup, turning to the table for a refill.

There wasn’t anything he could do about it. At that point, he was well aware that he had been in love with Yuki for years. And even though they would sometimes kiss—more often than not with Yuki justifying that they were just practicing —Yuki did not show a single sign that she reciprocated his feelings. Not that he ever told her about them either, too afraid of rejection and too afraid of losing his best friend.

So they remained best friends, and he had no right to be jealous of her. To demand all her attention to himself. But he was very aware that Yuki never had a boyfriend, and not only had he been the first guy to kiss her—he was the only guy that had ever kissed her.

As he watched her sway on the dancefloor with the other man, he selfishly hoped it would stay that way.

Choso went to the bathroom then, and when he returned, the countdown to the new year had begun. There was still a minute left, and he realized Yuki would probably mark the beginning of 2002 by kissing that guy on the dancefloor.

The thought made him want to remain in the bathroom until the clock turned, but he returned to the common area anyway.

“Choso! I was looking for you!” Yuki appeared before him, quickly making her way through the crowd and to him.

With a quick glance, he noticed that her hair was still in place and that her red lipstick was not smudged. She could’ve been to the bathroom to fix herself up, sure, but Choso chose to believe that she had not kissed the man. It soothed an ache that he didn’t even know why existed.

“I just went to the bathroom. You were dancing, I didn’t want to interrupt you,” Choso said as she got closer.

“I thought I would have to spend the turn of the year alone for a second there, I couldn’t find you!” Yuki laughed. She was clearly tipsy, and so was Choso. So much for all of their parents’ warnings against drinking alcohol.

“You weren’t alone,” Choso let it slip away from his lips before he could realize what he was saying. He hoped Yuki didn’t hear it over the music or that she wouldn’t comment on it.

She did hear it. Her eyes narrowed at him as she smirked and grabbed his arm, lacing it with her own and turning to stay by his side, looking out to the stage where the countdown was announced.

“Yeah, but I still wanted to be with you, dummy,” she said before looking ahead, waiting for the countdown to end and for the fireworks to pop out in the sky.

Choso didn’t look away from her, not even as people screamed through the last ten seconds of the year, and Yuki did the same, with her arm still laced around his. Not even when everyone yelled “Happy New Year!” and the sky lit up with fireworks.

In fact, when Yuki glanced from the sky at Choso, he was still looking at her. The smile on her face dropped a bit at his serious stare, and when his hand rose up to her cheek, her eyes wavered slightly.

He didn’t waste any more time before kissing her, pumped by the liquid courage that a few cups of vodka with soda gave him. At that point, they were just two people in a sea of other couples kissing each other, all celebrating the new year. No one could tell that their kiss was unlike all the others they had shared before—it wasn’t shy, tame, leaning on the idea that they were doing it just for practice. It was heated and desperate as if they had been waiting for years to kiss each other like that, and maybe they were.

Their tongues danced with each other as Choso’s hands went to the small of her back, pulling her against him. Yuki’s hands tugged at his hair. He bit down on her bottom lip and felt her scratch the nape of his neck.

When they finally parted their kiss, their breathing heavy, they realized everyone else had stopped kissing a while ago. They were back at dancing or cheering their drinks with each other. The only ones still wrapped in each other’s arms were Choso and Yuki.

As their eyes connected, Choso had a lot that he wanted to say, needed to say, yet the words were lost in his throat as he struggled to breathe. He hoped Yuki could read his mind for once so he wouldn’t need to say it out loud.

She stared deeply into his eyes, her cheeks flushed and her face betraying the amount of confusion that was going on inside her mind at that point.

She didn’t know what to do or what to say. Whenever they had kissed before, she had somewhat initiated it every time. It was she who asked him to kiss her so she wouldn’t be the only one in class who hadn’t kissed a boy yet, and it was her pestering him every time since, pausing their video game matches and saying they should practice so they would be good kissers whenever they got a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Most of the time, she was just bored and found that kissing Choso was an excellent way to pass the time.

This time, though, it was all him. And it was nothing like the other times they had kissed before. Just for starters, they were in the middle of a party, not tucked away into their houses, kissing in secret in her bedroom or his as they spent the weekend together.

And the look on Choso’s face… Yuki did not know how to interpret it. Actually, she did, and when the thought that Choso wanted to kiss her more than just for practice settled in , she pulled away from his embrace, letting her hands fall from his neck to her sides.

His hands fell too back to his sides as well, and he cleared his throat and shoved them into his pockets as Yuki looked away.

For once, Yuki was rendered speechless. At the realization that Choso liked her more than just as friends, at the realization that their kiss ignited something in her that she could not and did not want to name.

“I’m… gonna go to the bathroom,” she finally spoke up. Not in the mood to dance anymore and recognizing that their curfew was approaching, she added, “Then we can… go home.”

Choso only nodded. As Yuki walked away, he leaned against a wall, tossing his head back and hitting it softly against the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed. Had he just ruined their friendship with a stupid New Year’s kiss?

Time will tell, but from Yuki’s expression and the way she ran off to the bathroom, Choso realized he had just experienced rejection for the first time in his life. And, man, that hurt like hell.

2002 | Seventeen years old

“This is not working,” Choso told her, his elbows on his thighs as he held his hands clasped together. He owed it to her to at least look her in the eyes while he said that, so he kept himself from looking down at the floor. “I’m sorry. It’s just not going to work out.”

Mayumi had tears in her eyes, but her expression portrayed fury, not sadness. “Why not?”

As Choso stared at the girl he had been dating for the past four months, he opened his mouth to try to justify why he was breaking up with her. When he couldn’t come up with a reasonable explanation, even after rehearsing this conversation in his mind countless times, he shut his lips again.

“It’s because of her, isn’t it?” Mayumi asked.

“Her?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. Her. Yuki,” she stared at him, waiting for his answer or for his face to betray his feelings.

Mayumi, indeed, wasn’t dumb. She had moved into town that year, joining Choso and Yuki’s class in high school. She had noticed Choso from the first day, and with that came, of course, Yuki. After inquiring with some other people from their class, they informed her that Choso and Yuki had been friends since they were kids, and everyone kind of thought that they were dating.

So Mayumi was nothing short of surprised when Choso got partnered up with her in a school project and, through a stuttering mess of words as they built a collage for the class, asked if she wanted to go out with him sometime.

Mayumi thought he was nice, handsome, and a gentleman. She liked him plenty, but she did not appreciate that Yuki would butt her head into any opportunity she could get to get between the two of them.

Yuki would show up at his house unannounced when Mayumi was over and invite herself to watch whatever movie they had rented, sitting in the middle of them. The three of them would sit together during lunch, and Mayumi somehow felt like the third wheel, even though she was the one dating Choso. She would try to schedule dates with Choso, only to be reminded by him that sorry, can’t do that day, I told Yuki I would hang out with her that day.

While he had told her they were only friends, and Mayumi tried her best not to be jealous of the blonde girl while she fell for Choso, she was all too aware that there was no space in his heart for her. It was already taken by someone else—by his blonde, bombshell best friend.

“So?” Mayumi pressed further.

Choso could only stare at her with his mouth ajar, but no words came out. He couldn’t deny it, but he couldn’t confirm it either. When he finally spoke, it was to say, “I’m sorry.”

She took a deep breath before getting up from his bed and walking toward his bedroom door. “Well, hope you are happy with her. God knows you both are in love with each other, so just get over yourselves and admit it already.”

Choso looked up at her, feeling like an asshole and like he was having his heart broken again, even if it was him inflicting the pain this time.

“She doesn’t… We are not in love,” was all he could muster, even if it was the last thing Mayumi wanted or needed to hear at that point.

“God, Choso,” she shook her head and opened the door. “Goodbye.”

She slammed the door shut before he could say it back or before he could say anything else. Not that he had anything else to say to soothe her pain, but he felt like he had handled that in the worst way possible.

Laying in his bed, Choso shut his eyes and mentally slapped himself on the face for being a dick to the nicest girl he’s ever met.

Truthfully, after the New Year’s kiss and Yuki’s rejection, he thought it would be best to move on. That maybe finding someone else could help him erase his feelings for Yuki, and they could stay friends that way. They never talked about that kiss or how they felt, but he noticed that Yuki didn’t try to kiss him again for training purposes after that night.

So he went on, he tried to go on, to move on from Yuki.

And Mayumi, indeed, was nice. He liked her, liked spending time with her. Liked kissing her and doing all the other things with her. But she wasn’t Yuki. No one would ever be Yuki.

As if she heard his thoughts, Choso’s door opened slightly, and Yuki popped her head in with a frown. Looking at her from his bed, Choso sighed. She was both the first and the last person he wanted to see at that moment.

“You don’t knock anymore?” Choso asked. “You could be walking into something you do not want to see.”

“I just saw Mayumi leaving your house while crying, so I thought I would check up on you,” Yuki walked into the room and closed the door behind her, even though Choso did not invite her in. Crossing more unspoken boundaries, she sat next to him on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”

“Just… Wasn’t working out,” Choso chose to stare at the ceiling instead of at Yuki.

He knew if she pushed, if she asked, he would give in and tell her exactly why it wasn’t working. He would always give in to Yuki.

She knew that as well, but she didn’t ask. Instead, she ran her fingers through the strands of his hair, pushing them off his face, and slid her finger through the black plaster over the bridge of his nose—his feeble attempt at hiding a colossal pimple that was growing there.

When he looked at her, she gave him a small smile, which conveyed all the pity she felt for him at that moment. “Wanna watch some movies and eat ice cream straight from the tub?”

He chuckled, and she pulled her hand away from his face. “Do you get all your knowledge about breakups from teen romcoms?”

“Well, it seems like solid advice,” she shrugged. “It’s not like ice cream would damage your heart any further.”

Choso wanted to tell her that his heart had been broken since that New Year’s kiss and that Mayumi had nothing to do with that. He never loved her, not in the slightest. The only girl he had ever loved was sitting in his bed, offering him a shoulder to cry on when he had no more tears left to spare.

“Ice cream sounds good,” was what he said instead, making Yuki’s smile grow wider.

He would do anything to see Yuki smile.

“Oh, Choso?”

“Hm?” he hummed.

“The black-plaster-on-the-nose look suits you. You should keep it.”

2003 | Eighteen years old

A drop of sweat ran down the back of Choso’s neck as he carried the boxes from Yuki’s bedroom to the living room downstairs. Instead of focusing on the fact that Yuki was moving away because her dad got a job offer across the country in Sapporo, he helped her pack her stuff until her bedroom, where they had so many shared memories throughout the last decade, was completely bare apart from her bed and the one book she had not packed away so she could read it on the trip.

Yuki had told him about the move whenever her parents told her about it—two months prior. She was distraught, and it was the first time Choso saw Yuki cry. Well, excluding the time she had fallen from her bike when they were eight years old and scraped her knees badly on the asphalt.

He hugged her and told her it would be okay, that she would like the new city and make new friends there. His words did very little to soothe his own heartache.

They were in their last year of high school, and while they had applied to the same university in Tokyo, it still pained Choso to know that she would be away for at least one semester.

Now, though, as Choso hauled the heavy boxes down the stairs, she only had one day left as his neighbor. She had cried all her tears out that day, two months prior, and swore to herself that she wouldn’t shed another. Her last memories in the house she grew up in would be happy ones, and she would cling to Choso until she was forced to leave. She couldn’t imagine a life without her best friend living next door. But she wouldn’t cry about it on their last night together.

Instead, she ordered pizza while her parents were away for the night at her grandparents’ house, storing things they couldn’t take on the trip across the country. Choso and Yuki ate slices of pizza while watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which they had rented earlier, just like they would on any typical day.

As the credits rolled, Yuki looked at Choso. They were bundled together under a throw blanket, and his jaw was set as if he was trying to memorize every name listed in the credits.

“Choso,” she called his name.

“Mm?” he did not look her way.

“You… You’ll call me, right?”

He looked at her then. Her voice was so small and fragile that he almost didn’t recognize it coming from her.

He felt all the muscles in his body relax as his eyes connected with hers, and he let a breath out. “Of course I will, Yuki.”

“Every day?”

“I think my parents would kill me if they saw that on the phone bill,” he chuckled, making Yuki smile weakly. “But I will call as often as I can.”

Yuki bit the inside of her cheek. “It’s going to be weird not living next to you.”

Choso felt his heart break just a little more at her words. “It will. It’s like I don’t even remember a time when you were not by my side.”

“Well, it’s because it’s very nice to be by your side,” Yuki laughed lowly, nuzzling into his arm, lying her cheek on his shoulder. Her hands were gripping his forearm, and her legs were bent at the knee, with her thighs lying on top of his.

Choso chuckled, his hand on her knee and drawing mindless patterns with his thumb on her skin.

They could stay like that for the rest of the night, and Choso would be satisfied. He would be happy that his last memories with Yuki before she moved were of her cuddled up to his side, with her head on his shoulder.

And they did stay like that for a while, so long that Choso thought she might have fallen asleep.

But she hadn’t. She turned her head so her chin was on Choso’s shoulder, and he could feel her eyes roaming around his face and her breath hitting his cheek. It took every bit of strength for him not to turn his face to hers and kiss her then and there.

But when her hand slowly raised to his face, forcing him to look at her, his resolve all but shattered. With her big brown eyes staring up at him and her cheeks painted with a hint of pink, she closed the already small space between them and pressed her lips against his.

Choso wasn’t taken by surprise, yet he let out a breath of relief when their lips touched. His hand squeezed her knee when she licked his bottom lip, making him meet her tongue in a dance that was so familiar that it was almost like it was rehearsed.

It had been too long—almost two years since their last kiss. And Yuki was leaving the next day. Choso felt the urge to get reacquainted with every inch of her skin, which he had been denied for the last two years.

His hand slid down her thigh as she pulled him closer by his neck, and not for a second their lips parted ways. He squeezed her bare thigh and was taken by the utmost surprise when Yuki parted her legs, moved to get on top of him, and straddled his hips.

She kept kissing him, her lips desperate and needy for his. But when she rolled her hips against his, Choso grabbed her waist, making her stop her movements.

“Yuki…” He pulled back slightly, but she dove down with her lips, kissing his jaw and his neck. “Yuki, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing, Choso?” Yuki replied by biting his ear lobe and making him moan lowly. When she tried to move her hips against his again, his firm grip stopped her. She pulled away enough to look at him in the eyes with a slight pout on her face. “You don’t want me?”

“That’s not—fuck, Yuki, you know I want you,” Choso sighed, leaning his head back on the couch and squeezing his eyes shut. “You know how badly I want you.”

“What’s the matter, then? I want you too,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him closer until she rested her forehead against his.

Choso wanted to tell her that she didn’t want him in the way that he wanted her, that she would leave the next morning, and that any of this would only bring him more pain afterward.

“I want you to be my first, Choso,” she said lowly, her breath hitting his lips. “It’s only right. You were always my first—my first friend, my first kiss.”

Choso closed his eyes, breathing heavily as he felt like his heart was ready to jump out of his ribcage.

“My first love,” she added in a whisper, and Choso’s eyes flew open at her words.

He pulled his face back a little, only to be able to properly look her in the eyes to assert if she was being serious. “You loved me?”

“No,” she said, a small smile tugging on the corners of her lips. “Love. Present tense.”

Choso felt like his heart was being pulled in all directions at once. He had waited so long to hear that from her, but hearing it now, the night before she moved away, made his heart ache instead of soothing it.

“You love me too, right?” Yuki asked when he said nothing back, her hands sliding down his shoulders to his chest.

Even if he chose to deny it, she could probably feel his heart going a thousand miles per hour under the palm of her hand.

“Of course—God, Yuki, of course, I love you,” his head fell to her shoulder, unable to look her in the eyes as he finally spoke out loud the words that had been on his mind for so long. “I’ve loved you since our first kiss and probably before that as well. I’ve loved you all along.”

Her fingers threaded through his hair, scratching his scalp softly. After a beat of silence, she tugged his head up from her shoulder and kissed him softly.

“Take me, Choso,” she whispered against her lips. “I’m yours already anyway.”

Her words hit him like a hammer, decimating whatever was left of his heart, but he still shook his head slightly. “You’re leaving in the morning, Yuki.”

She hugged him tighter by the neck, their lips still connected, as she pressed her torso against his. “Then give me something nice to remember you by.”

Choso could only take so much, and if he had learned anything from the decade he had known Yuki, it was that, in every situation, no matter the situation, he would always give in to her.

He let his hands fall from her waist to her hips, and when she kissed him again, he kissed her back with desperation. Desperation to touch her where he had never touched her before, to leave his mark on her body, to be with her so deeply that he would be able to think back to it after she had left and still feel her against his body.

Yuki’s hands traveled to his hair, undoing his ponytail and tugging on it as their tongues met at a pace they had never experienced with each other before. Without his grip keeping her in place, she rocked her hips slowly against his, making him groan against her tongue and squeeze her hips.

Choso lowered his hands to cup her butt cheeks, very aware that they were threading on uncharted waters and expecting Yuki to pull away and say she changed her mind at any movement of his.

She didn’t, though, and instead, she moved her hips again, pressing them harder against Choso’s, making all his blood rush to his cock, and his pants undeniably tight.

He was still hesitant, still thinking about the fact that Yuki would leave in the morning, but she seemed much more preoccupied with running her hands all over his torso, and sliding one under his shirt, feeling his muscles contract and relax under her touch.

She parted their kiss for once, their breathing heavy as Yuki leaned slightly away. “Should we go to my bedroom?”

Choso wanted to say no. He really did, but between hearing that his feelings for Yuki were corresponded for the first time and his raging boner pressing against her thigh, all he could do was nod at the blonde girl who got off his lap and took his hand on hers, tugging him out of the couch and up the stairs.

They soon entered the bedroom, now bare except for Yuki’s bed, and Yuki immediately turned around as Choso closed the door, kissing him deeply, her hands going down his torso and under his shirt. He parted their kiss to pull his shirt off, letting it fall to the floor, and Yuki did the same to hers, staying only in her cotton pajama shorts and her underwear.

Her chest was still covered by her bra, but this was still a new sight for Choso. Even if he had seen her wearing bikinis during the summer before, there was something completely different – and extremely arousing – about the fact that she was undressing for him, in the privacy of her bedroom.

She walked backward to the bed, and Choso followed her until she lay down on her pillow. He climbed on top of her, supporting himself with an arm beside her head, before kissing her once again. Yuki’s hands explored his torso and back, and Choso traveled his hand slowly from her hip to her ribcage, right under her bra.

He ran his thumb over her bra, feeling her perked nipple under it, and pressing down on it slightly, making Yuki moan lowly. She arched her back and unclasped her bra, and Choso removed it from her body, sighing shakily at the sight of her bare tits.

His lips dove down, kissing her neck, her collarbone, and the top of her chest before he swirled his tongue around one of her nipples while massaging her other tit with his free hand. Yuki moaned as his tongue flicked her perked bud, before his lips closed around it, sucking on it gently.

She whimpered in pleasure, and her hands lowered through the sides of Choso’s body, her fingers hooking around the waistband of his sweatpants. She tugged it down slightly, and Choso’s hand lowered to cup her cunt over her shorts, massaging it slowly as his tongue still worked against her nipples. A low gasp left Yuki’s lips as Choso pressed down on her clit, still over her clothes.

Her hips moved against his hand, eager for more contact, more pleasure. Yuki’s low moans and whimpers sounded like heaven to Choso, and he raised his hand slightly, only to slide it under Yuki’s shorts, touching her over her panties now. He could feel how wet she was, even over her underwear, and they got damper with each move of Choso’s fingers against her.

“Choso, more,” she moaned, and he obliged, sliding the fabric of her panties to the side to meet her warm, wet slit.

Choso let out a shaky breath, raising his lips to meet hers again as he slid his finger up and down, smearing her arousal around before starting to rub small circles against her clit. Even though Yuki had barely touched him, he was rock-hard under his sweatpants from hearing her moan and feeling how wet she was for him. For him. He might have been dreaming, he probably was, there was no way this was real.

Yuki kissed him back, her tongue touching his as moans flew out of her lips and into his. Carefully and slowly, Choso slid his middle finger inside her, feeling her tight, virgin cunt squeeze and relax around him.

“Fuck, Yuki,” he breathes out, every second that passed making it harder for him to hold himself back. He has wanted and dreamed about this for too long, and as much as part of him wants to enjoy every second of it and take his time, he’s also desperate. Desperate to feel her around him, to see the faces and hear the noises she will make when he’s inside her.

His thumb pressed against her clit, and he moved both fingers slowly, not wanting to overwhelm her. She still whimpered into his mouth and tugged his sweatpants down, making his hard cock slap up into his abs.

“Choso, please,” Yuki whimpered. Her hand was slightly shaky as it wrapped around him, her movements untrained and slow, scared that she would hurt him if she moved any faster or rougher.

Choso grunted at her touch, getting more desperate by the second. He knew what she was asking of him, and he sat up on his knees, taking his hand off her shorts to slide both them and her panties down her legs and off her body. He took his sweatpants off as well, letting both of their clothes fall to the ground.

As he was on his knees, he stared down at Yuki, lying in bed. Her eyes were so bright they were almost sparkling, her cheeks were flushed, and her lips were bright pink and plump from the kissing. Her nipples were perked, and her legs parted for him, allowing him to take a look at her glistening cunt.

Choso shook his head slightly before looking back into her eyes. If he stared at her body for too long, he would cum even before he lost his virginity and took hers.

Yuki reached out to her bedside table, opened the drawer, and fished a condom from inside. She handed it to Choso, who arched an eyebrow at the fact that Yuki had condoms stashed in her drawer.

“What? My mom gave it to me,” Yuki smiled, though her cheeks were still flushed. “Better to be prepared, right? That’s what she told me.”

Choso chuckled, shaking his head slightly before ripping the packaging and sliding the condom on. He looked back at Yuki, who was biting her bottom lip, a slight smile still gracing her features. Choso licked his lips, leaning over her again, supporting himself with an arm on the side of her head.

“Are you sure?” Choso asked, looking deep into her eyes, searching for any insecurities or second thoughts.

Ever-so-slightly, Yuki nodded, her lip still between her teeth. “Yeah, I am. Though you’ll have to guide me a bit, because I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Huh?” Choso furrowed his brows a bit. “What makes you think I know what I’m doing?”

Yuki tilted her head a bit in confusion, looking into his eyes.

“I thought you had done this already,” she said, chuckling lowly. “With Mayumi, I guess, or someone else.”

“I haven’t,” Choso told her. He had done a few things with Mayumi while they were dating in the previous year, but they never went all the way, never touched all the bases. “Does that make you change your mind?”

Yuki gave him a smirk. “No. I don’t care that you are a virgin, Choso. So am I.”

Choso nodded slightly, still searching in her eyes for any signs that she might not want to do this, even if he was desperate to do it.

“Come on,” Yuki’s hands caressed his back, bringing him a bit closer. “Take me, Choso. We’ll be each other’s firsts.”

That settled it, and Choso dipped his head down to kiss her once again. Their kiss was slow and passionate, their tongues intertwining at a calm pace as Choso grabbed his cock, angling the tip against Yuki’s entrance. As he pressed in slowly and carefully, a small gasp left Yuki’s lips, making Choso open his eyes to take in her expression.

Her lips were parted, and her eyebrows furrowed, yet her eyes were still shining at his.

“Does it hurt? Do you want me to stop?” Choso asked, even though the feeling of her warm, tight cunt around the tip of his cock was the best he’s ever felt in his life.

She shook her head, her hands flat on his back. “No, just go slow.”

He nodded, sliding more of his length inside her slowly, as gentle as he could be. There were little whimpers flying out of Yuki’s lips, and her nails dug into Choso’s back, but she didn’t stop him. She heard from other girls that losing your virginity can be painful, but that the pain fades away after a while. She just had to stick through the aching part to get to the pleasurable one.

As Choso finally bottomed out inside Yuki, he let out a shaky moan, dropping his head into her shoulder. He stayed still inside her, feeling her slowly relax around him as she grew used to the sensation.

“You can move,” Yuki said after a few moments of silence and stillness.

Choso raised his head to look at her. “Are you in pain?”

“It’s fine,” Yuki responded immediately, but under Choso’s analytical gaze, she licked her bottom lip before adding, “It’s… bearable.”

Choso moved his hips slightly, sliding slowly out of her, before filling her up again. “Tell me if it gets too much and if you want me to stop.”

Yuki gave him a little smile and a nod, even though her face was still twisted in a hint of pain. He kissed her again, keeping his pace slow, even if all he wanted was to drive fast and harsh thrusts into her. He wouldn’t, he never would, he would never hurt Yuki.

Gradually, the little whimpers of pain coming from Yuki’s lips turned into low moans of pleasure, and her fingers scratched his back.

“Faster,” she mumbled against his lips, and he complied, speeding up his movements, his free hand going to Yuki’s thigh. She hiked her leg around his waist, her heel pressing into the small of his back. She moaned more loudly, feeling him go deeper.

“Fuck, Yuki,” Choso breathed out, his hand leaving her thigh to go to where their bodies met, rubbing small circles on her clit with his index and middle finger.

Choso had, indeed, very little clue about what he was doing, but what he was certain of was that he would not last for long, and he wanted Yuki to experience as much pleasure as she could. And after fingering Mayumi maybe two or three times in the past, he had a vague idea of how to please a woman, even if it was just with his fingers and the bare knowledge of how to find the clit.

“Oh, fuck,” Yuki moaned, her nails digging into his back as she tried to process the high influx of all sorts of pleasure she was experiencing for the first time. The little bit of pain she was feeling before was now long forgotten as Choso teased her clit roughly and fast.

It was all too new; the feeling of Choso inside her, the feeling of his fingers on her clit, the lewd sounds that they were making. It didn’t take long for Yuki’s pleasure to build up into a tight coil on her lower stomach, bound to snap at any moment.

“Oh, God, Choso,” Yuki whimpered the second before she felt herself be swept over by her orgasm, making her arch her back, her eyes roll back, and her lips fall open in a silent scream.

She was tight enough before, but with her orgasm washing over her, Yuki’s cunt contracted and relaxed repeatedly around Choso’s cock, making him grunt and speed up his movements in a desperate effort, not trying to hold back anymore. His fingers left Yuki’s clit and laced with hers, and he pressed their intertwined hands against the bed, next to her head, as his hips stuttered against hers and he came undone into the condom.

His thrusts became sloppy and messy – well, messier – as he came, and Yuki’s pulsing walls milked every last bit of his cum. He dropped his forehead to her shoulder, trying to regulate his breathing as she did the same.

Her hand was still intertwined with his and pressed against the bed, and she used her free one to slowly caress his back with a light touch. She pressed a kiss to his neck as she managed to breathe calmly again.

Choso raised his head to kiss her lips, and she kissed him back. A slow, calm, and passionate kiss, as if they had all the time in the world to stay kissing each other, even as Yuki’s departure to the other side of the country approached them with large, looming steps.

They only had a few hours left as neighbors. As best friends. As lovers.

“I love you,” Choso whispered against her lips, and she smiled a bit.

“I love you too, Choso,” she whispered back as if it were a secret. “I’m going to miss you like hell.”

Choso pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes. Hers were glistening with tears, and he wished he could kiss all her worries away.

“I’ll miss you too,” he said, his lips hovering over hers. “It’s only for a few months. Then we’re off to college, and we’ll be together again.”

Yuki nodded, tilting her head up to kiss him again. “We will. We will be together forever.”

#chosoyuki #choso #yuki #yuki tsukumo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #chosoyuki fic #fanart #chosoyuki fanart #jjk fic #jjk fanart #SUPPORT HERRRRRRR SHES SO TALENTED

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renereneo · 5 days

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𝐰𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨𝐲𝐮𝐤𝐢 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞

synopsis: Choso and Yuki meet when they are seven, and they become best friends. They grow up together, and, at some point, the feelings that Choso has for Yuki become… not very best friend-like. As life brings them together and pushes them apart, Choso will always know that Yuki will forever be his first love—and perhaps his only love.

pairing: choso/yuki

chapter wc: 3k

tags: no curses au, childhood friends, first love, angst, fluff, pining, friends to lovers, eventual smut, eventual happy ending

a/n: this fic was inspired by intrinsic warmth by @thatdesklamp! it can also be found on ao3. each scene takes place in the same date in different years. the date for this story is September 28th.

1992 | Seven years old

The seven-year-old Yuki did not abide by the rules of the playground. She thought the rules imposed by the teachers and her classmates were dumb. Yuki, standing almighty with her blonde hair tied up into a ponytail that had once been high on her head when her mom dressed her up for school, didn’t play by anyone’s rules other than her own.

Which is why, after much arguing with her classmates about how exactly sandcastles should be built, she ended up alone on the swings, watching them play from afar, not willing to give in to their stupid rules.

Her eyes wandered around, seeing one of the young kids from her class sitting alone at the very edge of the sandbox with his legs crossed. He wasn’t building a castle, more so stacking up the sand with no particular design in mind. He had dark hair tied up into pigtails and dark eyes, and Yuki knew very little about him other than that he didn’t usually play with the other kids. Whether that was from his preference or not, she did not know. She remembered her teacher would try to get him to play with the rest of the class, but he always ended up leaving when the teacher looked away, and resuming his activities alone.

She approached him. “Oi, kid. What’s your name?”

He looked up at Yuki with a frown. They had been in the same class for three years at this point, and she didn’t know his name.

“Choso,” he replied.

“I’m Yuki,” she beamed a grin at him, displaying one of her missing front teeth.

“I know.”

Yuki didn’t have time to feel bad for not knowing the kid’s name previously. She had much more pressing matters at hand: building a proper sandcastle, one that was done perfectly by her rules, not her classmates.

“If you’re building a sandcastle, you’re doing it wrong.”

She half expected him to tell her that he wasn’t interested in her input and that he would build whatever he wanted in the way that he wanted.

“Show me how to do it, then,” was what Choso said instead.

Yuki’s smile grew wider. There was finally someone in this playground with half a brain to know that she knew the right way to do things.

That was just the first sandcastle they built. And whenever Yuki changed the rules of tag or hide-and-seek in the middle of the game so she could win every time, Choso didn’t complain. He didn’t care about winning, and he enjoyed having a friend. As loud and obnoxious and bossy as she was, she was his friend.

1995 | Ten years old

Turning ten years old wasn’t a big deal for most, but Yuki was excited about going into double digits. Choso had his birthday two months prior, on July 16th, and Yuki complained endlessly that it wasn’t fair that he got to turn ten before she did. During his birthday, she had a deep frown that wasn’t soothed by any birthday cake, and even though Choso questioned himself on why it was his fault that he was born a month before Yuki, he still apologized to her about it and promised he wouldn’t do it again—even if they both knew Choso couldn’t actually change his date of birth.

Well, now Yuki was ten, too, since her birthday on August 28th. They were both ten now, and Yuki wore the age with pride and told Choso they needed to start behaving like adults. Because that’s what they were now, adults. At ten years old.

“I don’t think you are an adult until like… eighteen,” Choso said, as they both sat in Yuki’s backyard. He wanted to draw with chalk on the driveway, but Yuki insisted that the activity was for children.

“Nonsense! We are adults now. We need to start preparing for the future.”

“And what do we need to do about the future?” Choso gave in, as he always did.

That got Yuki thinking. During her years alive, she had watched her parents wake up early to make her lunch, prepare her for school, drop her off, and go to work. Usually, her dad would pick her up from school and bring her home, but sometimes her mom did, and on some occasions, they were both too busy with work or something else, and a babysitter would come by. Truthfully, she imagined being an adult just meant having a job, getting married, and having kids. She didn’t quite know if that was what she wanted to do, but she thought that that was what she was supposed to do.

“Well, I’m not sure. I gather we’ll need to get married at some point and have babies,” she said, her nonchalant tone making Choso stare at her with wide eyes.

“We? Me and you? Why would we get married?” Choso asked, genuinely confused.

“It’s just how it’s supposed to go.” Yuki shrugged.

Choso continued to stare at her.

After they played for the first time in school three years ago, they found out they lived on the same street in Kichijoji, a suburb of Tokyo. They would often play at each other’s houses or in the street whenever they weren’t at school, sometimes going to the Inokashira Park to relish in the sunlight and play.

And while Choso knew that Yuki’s mind would often make twists and turns to arrive at the conclusion she wanted, he couldn’t fathom why she was telling him that they would get married in the future. Sure, Yuki had no other friends, and neither did he. But marriage is for grown-ups – not those who are ten years old like Yuki wanted to believe.

While he contemplated the thought of getting married to Yuki in the far, far future, he realized he wasn’t opposed to the idea. Sure, he had no clue what being married entailed, other than what he had observed from his parents. But he liked Yuki, she was his best friend. Surely being married to her wouldn’t be so bad.

Yuki soon changed the subject – she did that often, as if her mind wasn’t capable of staying on track for longer than a few minutes – but Choso kept thinking about getting married to Yuki in the future for a long time. Even when he went home, he took note of how his parents interacted and tried to picture him and Yuki in their places.

Usually, when his parents would kiss in front of him, Choso would twist his nose in disgust. But when they did it that night, while Choso was still picturing him and Yuki as a married couple, his cheeks became slightly flushed.

1998 | Thirteen years old

Yuki rented a movie for the night, inviting Choso over since her parents were away on a trip. At thirteen, Yuki had proven to be responsible and independent enough so her parents didn’t need to hire a babysitter to watch over her. Although she knew how to cook a few things, they still told her to order food, afraid she might leave the stove on and cause an accident.

She didn’t mind that at all, much less when she and Choso ate slices of pizza and watched Titanic on her TV.

The movie was surely not for thirteen-year-old kids, but the guy in charge of the checkout at the movie rental place did not care in the slightest.

When Rose and Jack kissed, Choso felt his cheeks burn. That happened often through the last few years, and he realized it was because he had grown from finding kissing a vomit-inducing thought to something he actually wanted to do.

As he glanced quickly at Yuki and back at the screen before she noticed, he realized she wasn’t as entranced by the scene in the movie as he was. Well, at least it didn’t seem like it.

When the movie ended, Yuki laughed at Choso's tears at the sad story, and they both ate another slice of pizza as the tape rewinds.

Yuki was the one to break the silence. “Choso, have you ever kissed a girl?”

Nearly choking on his pizza, he did the best he could to swallow the piece before looking at her.

“You know I haven’t,” he said, trying to gauge her intentions by her expression, yet coming up with nothing. She looked deep in thought, her half-eaten slice of pizza still in her hand.

“Well, no, I didn’t. How would I know?”

“I would’ve told you if I had,” Choso shrugged. After a beat of silence, he summoned enough courage to speak again. “Have you?”

Yuki snapped out of her train of thought at his question, looking at him. “No, I haven’t.”

Choso nodded slowly, not sure of where the conversation was going or how it even started. “Ah. Okay.”

“Some of the girls in our class have. They talk about it all the time.”

“What do they say about it?”

“I don’t know. How nice it feels. They give each other advice on how to kiss—or how to kiss better. Where to put your hands, how to move your tongue,” Yuki crinkled her nose at the thought.

“What’s with the face?” Choso chuckled lowly at her disgust.

“Sounds gross, doesn’t it? I don’t think it must feel as nice as they say. Do you think it would feel nice?”

With her light brown, wide eyes staring at him, Choso could only think that yes, he does think it would feel nice to kiss her lips, to touch her tongue with his, to lay his hands on her and have her touch him as well. He didn’t know how any of it worked, but he was sure that kissing Yuki would feel, indeed, very nice.

“I don’t know,” he said instead. “Probably does. Everyone does it. If it didn’t feel nice, they wouldn’t do it.”

Yuki hummed, deep in thought again. Choso observed her face, having to look slightly up at her due to her recent growth spurt, trying to read what was going on in her mind. Even though he was used to Yuki telling him about her every thought without him prompting her to do so, he imagined there was more inside her brain that she didn’t broadcast to her best friend.

Her face lit up, her eyebrows arching, as she looked at Choso again. “We should kiss!”

He was halfway through taking another bite of pizza, but he immediately retracted. “What?”

“We should kiss. So we can see if it’s nice or not,” she explained matter-of-factly.

Choso shook his head slowly, even though the suggestion made him blush. “We’re friends. You’re supposed to kiss your boyfriend or girlfriend, not your friend.”

Yuki scoffed. “Boyfriend? You are a boy who is my friend, what’s the difference?”

“There are a lot of differences.”

Yuki rolled her eyes, scooting closer on the couch to Choso. “Come on, Choso. I don’t want to be the last girl in class who hasn’t kissed a boy yet.”

“Get a boyfriend then,” Choso said, feeling very overwhelmed at her proximity and the subject at hand.

“I don’t want a boyfriend!”

Choso sighed. “Yuki.”

“Choso.” She parroted him. “You said it must feel nice, right? Let’s find out. Kiss me.”

Choso sighed once more before looking back at Yuki. Despite what she was asking of him, she didn’t look embarrassed in the slightest. Which was to be expected. Yuki never gets embarrassed.

But he expected to at least see her cheeks flushed. That was what he was looking for when he looked at her face. He didn’t find that, but he saw her bright eyes looking back at him, and her pink lips pressed into a pout as she pleaded to him.

So he gave in. Again. As he always does when it comes to Yuki ever since she approached him, spitting her rules on how to build a sandcastle.

Instead of saying anything else, he slowly leaned his head towards hers. That was the first moment he saw her look surprised. Yuki didn’t actually expect him to give in, but she should’ve.

After a second of surprise, she closed her eyes and leaned her head forward slightly. Choso glanced at her expression for a second, looking at her relaxed face and puckered lips ever so quickly before closing his eyes as well and pressing his lips to hers.

It did, indeed, feel nice. And it felt even nicer as Choso tried to pull away, but Yuki’s hand flew to his shoulder and she pressed her lips against his again.

Neither of them was really sure what to do—what they were supposed to do. Yuki had listened to the girls in her class talk about it plenty, so she followed both their advice and her instinct and parted her lips slightly.

Choso followed suit, parting his lips and meeting Yuki’s tongue with slow, shy movements. He wasn’t sure where he could put his hands, as Yuki still held his shoulder, so one of his hands went to the middle of her back.

All in all, it was a confusion of shaky hands and shy movements, but not a bad first kiss. Well, neither of them had kissed anyone else, so there wasn’t much to compare to, but still.

As they did part their kiss, Choso’s eyelids fluttered open. This time, he did see Yuki’s cheeks blush with a light hue of pink.

They both stared at each other for a while, not sure what to do or say.

As usual, Yuki broke the silence.

“That felt nice,” she said, though her tone lacked the confidence it usually carried. “Didn’t it?”

Choso cleared his throat, looking away. “Mm-hmm.”

“Well, you were right, I can see why people do it.”

He nodded ever so slightly, looking at the TV screen, even though nothing was playing on it.

They remained in silence, eating the rest of the pizza, while Choso’s mind replayed their kiss repeatedly. They remained in silence until the pizza box was empty, and Choso helped Yuki clean up the living room of their napkins and cups.

It was weird, being in silence for that long. As quiet as Choso was, Yuki was the complete opposite, always streaming her thoughts and asking Choso questions. At the very least, it was awkward that she couldn’t find the words to fill the silence between them.

When it was time for Choso to go back home, he thought about how he wanted to kiss her again—how, in fact, he wished they had never stopped kissing since that first moment.

But things were awkward enough as they were after the first kiss, so he just said goodbye as they reached her door.

At that point, after years of being friends, he should be used to Yuki surprising him.

Nevertheless, when Yuki pulled him by his face and pressed her lips against his again, he was nothing short of shocked at her actions.

He quickly got over it to kiss her back, again unsure of where he should place his hands, and simply letting them fall to her waist.

Yuki pulled their kiss apart after a while, a slight smile on her lips as she wished him a good night, her cheeks slightly flushed again.

As Choso lay in bed that night, he touched the tip of his fingers to his lips, still being able to feel Yuki’s lips on his.

He had known he wanted to kiss Yuki for a while. He never thought he would actually be able to do it. But he did, and whenever he recalled the moments, his stomach felt funny. Not like he was going to throw up. A good kind of funny.

He recalled reading romance novels, where the protagonists said they felt butterflies in their stomachs when they thought of the one they love.

Love?

Love. Huh.

Choso hadn’t given it much thought before that. Yuki was his best friend. They had been best friends since they were seven. And, of course, he always felt affection for her—for his best friend.

But the so-called butterflies in his stomach made him rethink the affection he had for Yuki.

Before, he thought she was pretty, with her long blonde hair and big brown eyes. He thought she was funny, always saying the first thing that popped into her mind, not worried about what others would think of it. He even thought she was a bit annoying, always scheming and involving him in her plans even if he wanted nothing to do with them, always bossing him around. But he always went along with whatever she said because he couldn’t say no to Yuki when she stormed into the sandbox all those years ago, and he still couldn’t say no to her now when she asked him to kiss her.

Choso wasn’t very sure what were the prerequisites of loving someone. If there was a checklist he was supposed to look at to find out if he was in love with Yuki.

But he was pretty sure, based on the butterflies in his stomach and the way his brain would still short-circuit when he thought of those kisses, that he was, indeed, in love with Yuki.

As he sat with the realization, all he could think was: Fuck.

His parents would berate him if he said the word out loud, but they couldn’t hear it as he whispered it to himself in bed.

Thirteen-year-old Choso was overwhelmed. He didn’t know if Yuki felt a smidge of what he felt for her. They were best friends. Though her pulling him into a second kiss before he left her house could indicate that she felt something, it could also just mean that she enjoyed kissing him and wanted to do it again.

He didn’t want to ruin their friendship with feelings he didn’t understand. He locked them away in his brain and told his heart to stop beating so fast as he fell asleep—and even though he was repressing his new-found love for Yuki, his fingers still lingered on his lips, reminding him of their kiss.

They would go on to share many kisses after that, but that first night stayed ingrained in Choso’s mind as the day he realized Yuki was more than just his best friend—she was the love of his life. At the very least, she was his first love.

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