robotsdeservebetter - Tumblr blog

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“Renaissance painting, renaissance painting”… You guys don’t understand how far back the history goes, renaissance is way older than what you call renaissance style

[robotsdeservebetter]

my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today

[robotsdeservebetter]

interested in sex the same way you can be a sports fan without ever playing a single sport

*reading absolute filth and humming thoughtfully* fascinating.

[robotsdeservebetter]

I think I understand know what it means to be queer. Being met with misunderstanding and mistreatment when you try to communicate to other people about how your perception of love is different from the norm, seeing how the closest people aren’t even trying to understand, wanting to hear a single genuine word of apology among a swarm of excuses.

[robotsdeservebetter]

Someone left a thread of hate comments. A thread. A lot of short messages.

I reported them as spam HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[robotsdeservebetter]

Well, in the end there’s always one reassuring thought: this will end. There will be comfort. I just have to get there.

For most of my conscious life I was a confused person, most probably hetero, but with a sprinkle of weirdness which is loving smut and hating the idea of being touched sexually, terrified when someone had romantic interest in me.

For about 48 hours I was a confident aegosexual.

Right now I can’t let go of a single conversation that keeps me in thoughts about whether am I a real asexual person or I just want to be something so bad I took the first label that kind of resonated with me and I’m still the confused weird hetero.

[robotsdeservebetter]

For most of my conscious life I was a confused person, most probably hetero, but with a sprinkle of weirdness which is loving smut and hating the idea of being touched sexually, terrified when someone had romantic interest in me.

For about 48 hours I was a confident aegosexual.

Right now I can’t let go of a single conversation that keeps me in thoughts about whether am I a real asexual person or I just want to be something so bad I took the first label that kind of resonated with me and I’m still the confused weird hetero.

[robotsdeservebetter]

I dunno, sometimes it feels much better to have a neutral word to describe a neutral reality rather than being defaulted to "gay" at best and "frigid bitch" at worst

[robotsdeservebetter]

YOU WIN

Surprise face reveal, just for the joke.

A blank version can be found below the fold.

Go ahead, be funnier than me on my own post.

[robotsdeservebetter]

I just learned the terms aegoromantic and aegosexual, and they fit me 100%.

I despise looking in the normal aroace, aromantic, and asexual tags because they're filled with posts about hatred for shipping, which is the thing I find most comforting in my life.

I don't fit in with most aroaces because of my love for fictional relationships, and it bothers me that I can't look at a majority of posts about my own orientation without getting upset. But now I'm exclusively using the aego tags when searching. I've found my people. 🥰

When telling the average person what my orientation is, I'll still say aroace, and even that's confusing for some people. But to be more specific, I'm aegoromantic aegosexual. I don't want a relationship or sex for myself, but imagining fictional characters together makes me extremely happy.

I also like that I can use one flag that shows the asexual and aromantic ones together, because I'm not a fan of the aroace one, but adore the individual ones. (Not sure which of these is more accurate or if it matters.)

If you're someone on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrum who doesn't relate to this, please be nice or just ignore! You probably wanna block someone like me anyway, whose blog is revolved around shipping.

But we're all valid members of the community and deserve to find exactly where we fit in. I'm hoping this post will help others like me who weren't aware of these terms and may want to use them.

You can be completely against romance and/or sex for yourself while still enjoying shipping, romantic songs, Valentine's Day, etc. ♥️

[robotsdeservebetter]

Yikes

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Yeah, hi, so,

I have a better idea:

✨Let aroace characters be aroace✨ challenge 2024 [impossible]

[robotsdeservebetter]

I love you too 🤍

Horny asexuals you have my sympathy and respect

Asexuals who look at horny posting and think "real" I love you guys

Non-horny asexuals you have my sympathy and respect

Asexuals who look at anything sex related and gag I love you guys

All asexuals you have my sympathy and respect

Asexuals who just exist I love you guys

[robotsdeservebetter]

Arousal and Attraction: How They Coexist with Asexuality

I haven’t posted anything informational in a while, and I’m working on some bigger posts, so I thought I would make a post about these topics as I’ve been thinking a bit about it recently. I will be discussing arousal in the sexual context, making distinctions between the different types of sexual arousal, talking about attraction, and explaining why arousal is not the same as attraction all with a sprinkle of asexuality. One of the motivations for this post was to explain how one can be asexual but also experience arousal and sexual attraction; I wanted to talk about these topics in an asexual context. Obviously, disclaimer if you’re uncomfortable reading about this type of thing. I don’t say anything very graphic, but if it makes you too uncomfortable, please don’t read. I am also by no means an expert. I just read some stuff and know some things and want to communicate it to y’all. Without further ado, let’s dive in.

Arousal

Now, arousal in psychology refers to more than sexual kind, namely a physiological reaction to any stimulus, but this post will be focusing on sexual arousal and is meant anytime I use the word arousal.

Arousal can be split into two kind of arousal: physiological arousal and subjective arousal. Physiological arousal is self-explanatory; someone becomes warmer, their heart starts to race, and blood flow to their genitalia increases amongst other things in order to prepare for sex. This type of arousal is regulated by the autonomic and somatic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system deals with automatic functions, and the somatic nervous system deals with both voluntary and involuntary functions meaning that physiological arousal is uncontrolled and involuntary.

Subjective arousal on the other hand deals more with the mental and psychological aspect of arousal. This is when one’s mind and emotions are positively engaged in sexual activity.

Sexual attraction

Sexual attraction on the other hand is most simply defined as actively wanting to have sex when a specific person. It differs from libido or sex drive which is the general hunger for sex. Someone may feel sexual attraction for a variety of reasons, but they’re taking sexual interest in a specific person.

Arousal versus attraction

Arousal and sexual attraction are not the same; arousal is a physical or mental response to a stimulus, getting turned on whereas sexual attraction took is not merely feeling sexually excited but wanting to have sex with a specific person because they are drawn towards them. It is entirely possible to get turned on by someone and have a physical response but not experience attraction and vice versa. This is called arousal non-concordance.

I also want to make a quick note—sexual arousal and attraction are not the same as sexual desire which is motivation and want to have sex. Being aroused doesn’t mean wanting sex, and even if you were sexually attracted to someone, that doesn’t necessarily mean you actually desire to have sex with them.

Asexuality, arousal, and attraction

Someone can be asexual and be aroused. The definition of asexual is someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. Arousal is not the same as sexual attraction.

Using the argument of arousal in the physical sense against asexuality does not work as physiological arousal can be completely disconnected from the mental experience. Our bodies are programmed to behave a certain way to certain things and circumstances even if we feel very differently about the matter. Just because asexual people or anyone for that matter experience certain bodily reactions does not mean they’re enjoying an experience, are experiencing sexual attraction or want sex. This argument demonstrates a lack of understanding of asexuality, attraction, and arousal.

Furthermore, if someone experiences sexual attraction, that doesn’t nullify their asexuality. Being asexual is defined as experiencing little to no sexual attraction. That definition allows wiggle room for those who are demisexual, fraysexual, graysexual, whatever. Experiencing sexual attraction still falls under the umbrella of asexuality.

I hope you were able to learn something from this and it didn’t feel too disconnected! It’s my wish that this helps people to better understand these terms, exactly what they mean, and how asexuality intersects with these topics! I would definitely encourage researching anything talked about here more on your own if it interests you, but I have linked some resources and articles covering what I’ve discussed here in more detail.

Resources:

American Psychological Association definition of sexual arousal

NCBI Understanding Arousal

AVEN Defining Arousal vs attraction

itsbido Sexual arousal vs. attraction: what’s the difference?

Embrace Sexual Wellness, LLC. Arousal Non-Concordance: It’s More Common Than You Would Think

AVEN: The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions subforum post regarding arousal non-concordance and asexuality

The truth about unwanted arousal Emily Nagoski TED Talk

AVEN post on the Frequently Asked Questions Thread about what sexual attraction took is and more

Sex Positive Psychology: Sexual Desire and Arousal - Same or Different?

[robotsdeservebetter]

What is the whole celebrity crushes thing?! Like, are people being fr when they’re wanting to kiss/marry/ I don’t even wanna know these people who they’ve never met?!?

I was talking about how I don’t want to ever kiss anyone, and my art teacher asked if I would kiss this one musician I REALLY, REALLY like, and everyone was surprised when I said I wouldn’t kiss even him if given the opportunity. Like, he’s gorgeous, amazingly talented, and a sweet person, but that doesn’t mean I want to kiss him?!? That’s kinda weird….

So yeah. Celebrity crushes.

[robotsdeservebetter]

Being aroace is so cool, but so, so hard sometimes. Watching all the persons you hold dear finding *their* person. Grieving the idea of an allo relationship. Realizing that, maybe, somehow, you're the second choice fo everyone. Because friends are great, but **lovers** are the goal in our society.

Most of the time, i am sooo happy to be aroace. And then, when im alone in bed, at 3 am, i find myself crying by fear of being alone.

And I think it's normal. It's grieving a certain way of thinking. And it's hard, especially when you were raised this way, and that everyone keeps doubting your identity.

So yeah. Shout-out to all the aroace people, wanting a deeper connection, without wanting romantic love.

I love y'all

[robotsdeservebetter]

interested in sex the same way you can be a sports fan without ever playing a single sport

*reading absolute filth and humming thoughtfully* fascinating.