rosadraws

[rosadraws]

Jafar! Get! A! Grip!

[35mm Film Reel scan]

[rosadraws]

James, my little doll. You just go outside and you call. . .

[rosadraws]

"Ecstatic..."

[rosadraws]

Normally when these are posted I never have the time/energy to read it or spread my thoughts on it (working night shifts are so fun!!), so I think from now on I will post a reblog when I first read it and then give my thoughts on a later date😭

Okay first of all, the amazement I felt when I got a notification that a new part posted with MY ARTWORK on it already made my day, so thank you @onesentencemusings! If you didn’t say that you posted this somewhat unfinished I wouldn’t have been able to tell because your writing is that good💖

I am so happy Nomad and Al are finally together! AFTER 13 PARTS OF ANTICIPATION IT IS NOW HAPPENING!!! In all seriousness, I think the wait was entirely worth it. Seeing their dynamic, how Aladdin got some of his mannerisms (him sliding the apple on his arm being a characteristic he got from Nomad was not surprising), and their cute banter was all so fun to read! I cannot wait for her to get caught up with Aladdin, and I wonder how differently she will see him once she learns that he will soon be sultan once he marries Jasmine (omg also don’t get me started with Jasmine, I cannot wait to see her interact with Nomad! I think they will like each other).

Oh boy, and to finally read Jafar and Aladdin in the same scene was so exciting too! Having Jafar stay in the background seething with rage at the mere sight of him is only making me anticipated for what will be happening in the future. Nomad can only be quiet about Jafar for so long, so it is bound to be happening soon!

Great job on this chapter! Do not stress yourself with the next part, just let your creative juices flow naturally and do not let yourself be overwhelmed by the work. Whatever you will produce, I can assure you, people will LOVE❤️

Return of Jafar - Rewrite (Pt 13)

Art by @rosadraws

(Part 1)

The loud panic of the bazaar crowd was dotted with terrified gasps and screams. A mother climbed onto a stand, knocking a good amount of pots off the table as she desperately tried to get her child off the ground. The cobra looked up at the two humans and gave them a hiss. The tiny child started crying and buried their face into their mother’s dress.

That was them controlled. Mitr scanned the last bits of the human pack not yet scattered. On the far side of the road, a younger male human was grabbing a plank. Danger. But he was trained for this. He stood tall and still as the man ran up. Wait for the human.

The younger male human froze as the cobra met his eyes. It gave a long deep hiss. Its coffin-shaped head opened to sport two sharp curved fangs. The beast had no fear. In fact, the man’s slight hesitation emboldened it.

The man swung the board down hard. The serpent threw itself backwards just away from the blow before launching at the man’s sleeves. The very slight snag of the snake grabbing his robe made the man drop his weapon and flee to the alleys. Mirt stood tall, proud. Mother taught him well. He would always do well by Mother.

--

Jafar found himself watching the woman sprint up and down the abandoned marketplace, stuffing this and that into her bag. The amount of times his long scraggly beard was woven in and out of his fingers as he thought only strengthened its greasy twisted stylings. She had most of the bazaar to herself. People could see her but with a cobra on a mission to one side and a ‘mad’ bactrian camel to the other, no one dared even try to get close to her. Assuming both creatures held the line, she’d get away cleanly.

The nomad wasn’t just irritating; she was smart. Cunning even. Meaning she would be just as annoying to her enemies as she was to him. Jafar already knew what he wanted out of her, and he would have it, but still… a faint hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Jafar’s lips. If he was a less ambitious man…

“Gweh! Guh!”

Jafar glanced to the side and sighed. 

Iago was flying out of a vendor’s abandoned stall, exceptionally slowly, with a coin bag almost as big as himself weighing him down. “Hey, big guy!” The bird said, straining to stay in the air. “Help me out here! I got a bad back! Give me a hand!” With a smirk, Jafar turned to the bird and started tapping the back of one hand with the other, in a quiet polite applause. “Oh, you’re a riot, ya know that!” Iago snapped. “You oughta just quit this genie gig and go into stand-up, you’re so funny!”

Jafar’s smile sunk away but he held out his hand. The bird dropped the weighty sack of money in the hand with an exhausted gasp before pathetically flapping to his partner’s shoulder. “In due time, my friend.” Jafar said. “In due time. We must have patience.” 

Iago dropped down on Jafar’s shoulder, panting. “Yeah, yeah, I caught that nice-guy routine in the alley. That means you have a plan.” He gave one final big groan before slowly getting to his feet. “But what plan could ya possibly have? ‘Cause unless I misheard something, your master is the mother of the guy we want to kill!”

“Yesss.” Jafar hissed, grinning. “I assure you, Iago. We will have our revenge, one even sweeter than if the… constraints of my current predicament weren’t so unfortunate.” He looked at the woman again. She stood in the middle of the road, turning in place, looking around rather frantically. After a moment of searching, the woman dashed off again.

Jafar idly caressed the large bag of money. The cruelty of fate turning even a pleasant windfall like free money into a meaningless gesture. He could make far more gold than there was on the entire planet. He could make everything he desired a reality. Yet even the thought of doing so caused the gold cuffs to tighten in warning. 

“All we need do is see the pieces walk into place and then I, I shall take my rightful place as Ruler of AAAH!”

Jafar was nearly thrown off balance as Nomad spun the man around to face her. “Hey, have you seen any meat stands around? I’m trying to get pork for my curry.” She looked around Jafar to the crowd held back by Balavaan’s mad camel act.

“Pork?” Jafar said with disgust. “It’s filthy meat from a filthy animal; why would you want that?”

Nomad looked at him in confusion before her eyes widened and she hit her forehead with a hand. “Gah, I forgot Muslims don’t eat pig!” She looked up and down the roads again for a moment before she snapped her fingers. ”I saw some goat, I can use that instead!” In a hurry, she grabbed Jafar’s wrist and started dragging him up the road. “Come help me.”

“I! Refuse!” Jafar managed to yank his arm out of his master’s grab. He saw the woman roll her eyes before continuing walking away at a hurried pace. “I may owe you… certain obligations,” Jafar stated as he followed. “But I don’t owe you any free labor. If you want my help stealing things, use a wish.”

Nomad scoffed. “Then don’t steal for me.” As she hurried by a fruit stand, she picked up an apple from a basket and held it up. “Steal because you can.” She half turned to Jafar, walking sideways as she spoke. “Come on, genie. Haven’t you ever wondered what it feels like to be able to break the rules?” She gently tossed the apple and hit it with her elbow, sending it flying straight into Jafar’s free hand. She bumped Jafar with her hip before sprinting off into a nearby building.

Jafar levitated the bag of money in the air with hardly a thought before holding the apple with both hands. She was right; he did miss breaking rules. Bribing the guards to do his dirty work, blackmailing others in the Sultan’s council when they started looking too hard into his out-of-palace activities. It was necessary, true, but it was a specific precious thrill to the matter, to hold that power over others.

There was no bargaining or bribing with this curse. His obedience was mandatory, through and through. Even mild missteps brought sudden unpleasant reactions out of his shackles. The mere thought of refusal got punished. 

The question was why did she care? He was her slave. She made him call her master. Surely, she’d want him subservient, quiet, miserable. Was it a trick? A test? What answer was she looking for?

Was she looking for an answer?

After a moment’s pause, Jafar took a bite of the apple and turned back to go grab another.

------------

Aladdin grabbed a stall’s awning support and half-stood on the counter. The uneasy crowd seemed to be slowly shuffling away as the two-humped camel thrashed about in the narrow road. The camel stood still long enough to rear up and kick forward with a hoof. Its reins were old worn ropes dyed a pale purple.

It was her!

Aladdin grinned before gently picking Abu off his shoulder and setting him on Jasmine’s back. “Watch her back for me, buddy.”

Abu chirped as he gave a tiny salute. He swiftly moved to Jasmine’s shoulder and started striking kung fu poses, with enthusiastic squeaks and squawks.

Jasmine giggled. “My hero.” She scratched under the monkey’s chin.

Aladdin climbed on top of the awning and started jumping from one stall roof to the next. He jumped down next to the camel, giving the beast a fright. After backing up a bit, the camel made another gurgling bellow before rearing up again.

Aladdin put his hands up and backed up a little “Whoa whoa whoa, Balavaan. It’s me!” The young man said, calmly. The camel stood down, but kept one leg up still ready to kick. It shook its wild poof of long fur off of its eyes and stared Aladdin down. “You know me, buddy. Remember?” Aladdin gave a quick whistle, a low note rising up to a high one.

The camel’s ears perked up instantly and it marched forward blindly. Aladdin laughed as the camel pinned him between a fish stand and the beast’s own fluffy neck. “Yeah, you’re absolutely Balavaan.” Aladdin just barely managed to squeeze out from the camel and grabbed the reins laying on the saddle. Two clicks of the young man’s tongue made Balavaan lay down, legs tucked under its massive body.

The crowd that had stayed to watch ‘‘ooh’ed and ‘aww’ed, with a few people starting an applause. Aladdin bashfully looked away and put a hand on the back of his neck. “Hey, it’s fine. Not a big deal. Just a camel that… got spooked or something.”

Balavaan looked up at the young man with one eye. There was a red thing on the human’s head.

“Look, the important thing is no one got hurt.”

Balavaan wanted the red thing.

“Now did anyone see someone with this camel before it went nuts?”

Balavaan stretched his neck up and started sniffing Aladdin’s hair.

Aladdin pushed the camel’s head away and centered his undersized fez back onto his head. “A woman maybe? Wearing a lot of blue and green?” 

Balavaan took a mouthful of black hair and pulled down.

“Looks about-- AAAAHHHHHHH!”

---

Only the light peeking through the shuttered windows and a single clay oil lamp lit up the butcher’s shop. A lot more flies in here than most would care for but Nomad didn’t have time to be a snob. 

She took a whiff of one of the hanging chunks of meat and made an ugly face. That was rotting. She quickly moved to a much drier looking chunk of meat. That was aging. She quickly pulled a kunai from her satchel and started slicing off a generous portion of the cut.

Halfway done, a loud male scream came from down the main road. It was to her right. That was Balavaan’s side. She rolled her eyes. “There’s the idiot trying to be a hero.” She muttered. She quickly lopped off a good bit of meat and wrapped it in her cleanest rag before shoving it in her bag.

---

Mango. Banana. Pear. Jafar reached for an orange and willed away the peel before taking a bite and tossing the rest onto the counter. Iago hopped out of the way just in time to not get hit. The parrot pulled the half orange closer and took another bite of an already half-eaten mango. Somehow, Jafar made even free food feel demeaning. Taking everything just to make the bird eat his scraps. 

The pair both jumped slightly as a pained yell rang out in the distance. “Yeesh, someone get stabbed?” Iago asked. He took off high in the sky and flapped down the road towards the yell. 

The crowd by the camel was much smaller now, and people were even filtering through side streets and alleys to get back into the marketplace. “Uh-oh. Guess Mama’s gotta get a move on.” The parrot muttered to himself. A young man pushed the camel’s head away and turned to a very sympathetic woman. “Ok, it’s some kid with a purple vest and a tiny red fez.” Iago moved in a little closer. The young man brushed the side of the woman’s headscarf away and gave a quick but loving kiss on her cheek. “And some broad way outta his league?” A tiny monkey hopped on the woman’s shoulder and gave the man a few gentle pats on the hair where the camel bit him. “Hang on, purple vest, fez, hot lady, and a monkey dressed exactly like him?!” Iago had a long gasp of realization and raced away.

Jafar looked up from the fruit displays just in time for Iago to crash into his chest. “No murder, I assume?” The man peeled the ruffled macaw off his tunic. Iago squirmed in Jafar’s grip, squawking, screeching and thrashing about like… well, like an animal. Jafar tightened his grip. “I taught you Arabic for a reason. Use your words.”

Iago choked a bit before yanking a wing out of Jafar’s fist and pointing to the far side of the marketplace. “Aladdin!”

Jafar’s hand clenched even tighter as the man gasped. “Aladdin? Here?!” Jafar’s form vanished into a red mist that quickly wormed through the stall. Iago gave a short yell before he saved himself from a drop. The bird growled and followed the mist towards the edge of the market.

Jafar reformed by a stall and ducked slightly behind a pile of cheap fabric. Through the small trickle of people getting back to the market, one stood out; the young well-built urchin that caused all of Jafar’s suffering. “Aladdin…” Jafar growled lowly.

“Ya know, if you’re gonna keep doing this hocus pocus stuff so much,” Iago flapped over to his partner, “ya gotta start letting me know when you’re gonna stop being solid.”

“Hush.” Jafar snapped under his breath.

“I’m just saying; a nod, a wink, anything! ‘Cause--” 

“YOU!” A gravelly voice shouted over the crowd, making Iago flinch. A large man in a guard’s uniform pushed aggressively through the crowd. Without another word, the guard grabbed Aladdin by the shirt and practically heaved the smaller man off the ground. 

“Hey, Razoul.” Iago chuckled. “Maybe we don’t need to do anything after all.” 

“Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop!” Nomad ran past Jafar, throwing something in his face as she raced by. “Here, hold this! Plop, plop. Plop, plop, plop!”

Jafar could barely blink before the cobra now in his hand flared out its hood with a mighty hiss. Jafar frowned. “I’m afraid not.” He said rather boredly before dropping the snake on the table top. Mitr coiled up and spat at Iago standing on the genie’s shoulder.

“Oh come on. This again?” Iago whimpered as he backed away. “We’re both animal sidekicks here! Can’t we have an understanding?” The cobra lashed forward. Iago jumped back with a yelp and dug under Jafar’s neck scarf for cover.

Nomad pulled her green hood further down over her face as she ran up to the guard. “Nobel sir, thank you so much for stopping my camel.” She pulled one of the guard’s hands off Aladdin and started shaking it. “I swear, I don’t have a clue how Bubbie got outta control,” Razoul slowly lowered Aladdin to the ground, his focus solely on the lady. ”But thankfully, a big strong handsome man like you was able to help me.”

 “It was a cobra!” An elderly woman dressed in dark brown robes yelled, whacking Razoul on the back with her cane. “Some fat guy knocked me down screaming and crying about it!”

“Cobra?” Aladdin glanced into the green hood. The woman inside was a darker, slightly older woman with a large stone medallion pinning her cape together around her neck. “Mama?” He whispered.

“This city needs more people li--” The woman paused to glance at Aladdin. “Like you?” Aladdin smiled and tipped his tiny faded red fez. The hooded woman gasped under her breath. “Monkey?” Her eyes grew wide as she looked back to the guard.

Oh right, she’d still think Aladdin was a streetrat. Aladdin gave her a kind smile and gently took her hand. “No, no, mom, it’s gonna be ok.” He put his other hand on her’s and gave a comforting squeeze. “We’ll be fine.”

Nomad quickly patted her camel on the shoulder, bidding Balavaan to stand. “Well, I won’t insult you with my presence any further.” She said quickly, flashing a smile at the guard. “I’ll just be on my way. Allah smile upon you!”

“You’re just gonna let her get away, ya knucklehead?” The elderly lady bonked Razoul on the head with her walking stick. “That one in the hood was running all over the empty market! Highly suspicious!”

----

The camera slowly zooms in on a small brick hut nestled against the shore of an oasis cradled among the dunes. “The cost of blue dyes these days is just getting out of hand honestly.” The young woman shook her head, taking a seat on a wicker couch.

The rocking chair creaked as Genie leaned back nodding. He took another sip of mint tea before adding, “Well, not to brag but,” He patted his wide but huggably soft blue chest. “I never had a problem with not having enough blue in my life…” He leaned onto the chair’s arm with a cheeky fake pout. “Honestly, it’s brass I coulda done with less of.”

The woman smiled as she reached over to touch her husband’s knee. “Of all the people you’ve brought home for jumping in your cart, this one’s my favorite.”

The cart driver chuckled. “And you said bringing home strangers was a bad idea.”

Genie shrugged a bit bashful. “What can I say? I’m just a social guy.” Genie looks away, a bit bashfully, before noticing you. “What. Oh, I get it. Someone said ‘suspicious’ so you’re here for an Among Us joke.” Genie leans in a bit closer. “You think I’d do that? Well, let me tell you what, buddy; I got class! I got standards! And more importantly--!” Genie leaned back in his chair with a shrug “I’m gonna do it later, so there.” He took another swig of his tea with a smile. “The Author’s also hoping to squeeze in an ‘I’ve come to make an announcement’ bit eventually too so stay tuned for that.”

--

Nomad pushed Balavaan to subtly block half the marketplace road with his broad body before starting to step away. Aladdin held her hand tighter and gently pulled her back. “Mom, I promise,” He looked into her eyes. “We. Will. Be. Fine.”

“Kid, we gotta go now!” Nomad whispered frantically. 

“Yeah, I saw her too!” Another man pushed past Jasmine to speak. “She was running all over, grabbing things!”

“If this is that cobra routine of yours again, just give back what you took.” Aladdin said.

“You know that never works!” Nomad growled through gritted teeth.

“Oh, did she!” Razoul tore Aladdin away from Nomad and grabbed the woman’s chin in his big meaty hand. He wouldn’t dare undress a woman’s head but his furious experienced eyes could still make out details in the shadow of her hood; a squarish face, wild dark hair… and a discolored slant running across her cheek to the bridge of her nose. His tongue instantly went to his missing upper right molar. “Yoooooou.”

“Meeee.” Nomad nervously grinned, hand slinking into the bag hidden under her cape. Her hands found a triangular glass bottle. Perfect! 

“Ohh-ho-ho-ho.” Razoul growled with a wide wicked grin. ”I’m going to enjoy making you suffer, vermin!” The guard put two fingers in his mouth and gave a loud ear-piercing whistle.

Aladdin grabbed part of Razoul’s shirt. “Hey, let her go, she’s with--!”

Nomad held the red glass vial high before smashing it on the ground. The area flashed like a bolt of lightning as a thick dark red cloud rushed out like a tide bursting through a broken dam. She yanked her camel’s reins forwards to cut off the rest of the road. Nomad grabbed her staff out of her pack and grabbed Aladdin’s arm. “Let’s go!”

Iago gulped as Nomad and Aladdin took off into an alley. “Hey, what’s gonna happen to you if your master ends up in jail?”

Jafar paused. ‘A genie without a Master goes back in their lamp’. Yes, Iago was still an option but the woman! She was too perfect for his plan. Nothing he could do alone, even if he was freed, would compare. He growled. Yet again, she was making things hard for him. “After her.” Jafar’s form vanished into its usual blood-red mist.

“Wait!” Iago launched out of Jafar’s cloud and clung desperately to the heavy sack on the stall table. “The money!”

Somehow the faceless red cloud managed a scowl before it quickly twirled around the coin bag. The bag vanished in a poof and reappeared, tied securely to Balavaan’s saddle. “Happy?” The cloud growled

“Perfectly so.” Iago grinned, waving back at the inmaterial Jafar with a bow. “After you, good sir.”

Razoul choked on some of the red clouds as he beat back the smoke. “I KNEW IT!” He saw Jasmine and quickly jabbed a finger at the thieves running away. “ONCE A THIEF ALWAYS A THIEF! You can deny my blade no longer!” With his bellows, he ripped his sword out of its scabbard and waved at the other approaching guards. “Today we kill that streetrat!”

“What?!” Jasmine gasped.

“Ah-wah-den!” Abu squawked, grabbing his head in a panic.

“Don’t you dare- HEY!” Jasmine grunted as other guards pushed her further and further back into the crowd. The large hairy camel groaned when the group of men started trying to shove him aside before whacking his large neck into them. Jasmine hid a quiet laugh behind her hand as the guards tumbled over each other. Razoul barked out some crass words Jasmine had no interest in repeating before the gang of guards started squeezing around the bull camel.

Something moved over head. Jasmine looked up and saw a red bird of some kind with a bellow of smoke trailing behind. The strange bird quickly crossed the market and took off down the alley where Aladdin was dragged. Odd.

-

“This way!” Nomad nearly slipped on the dirt before sprinting around a hard turn. 

Aladdin took the turn much better and caught up to the woman quickly. “You know, I’m glad you’re back, Mama,” He gasped as he ran, “But I had that under control back there.”

“You kidding, kid?!” Nomad looked behind them. The mob of guards crashed into the wall before scrambling to chase after them. “Remember what I told you? Never talk to guards! You--”

There was a wicked laugh from the end of the alley. Razoul jogged into view, blocking the running pair. Nomad’s medallion glowed slightly and the woman yanked her staff to the side. The sand under the guard’s feet slid from under him, dragging his legs suddenly and forcefully apart. 

The large man’s eyes filled with tears as the strain on a very sensitive part near his hips ripped through him. He bent over to put his hands on the aching area, just in time for Nomad to step on his shoulder and launch over him. 

“Always stay, one jump ahead of the guard-dogs.”

Aladdin ran up the wall to hop around Razoul with a smile. “Right, just grab, and then we run!”

“Don’t work, cause stealing’s much more fun.” Nomad took a blind turn down the shady narrow alleys between buildings. 

“Yeah, I remember.” Aladdin laughed. “One jump, to get to your freedom.”

“One leap to flee with style!” Nomad blinked and barely skidded to a stop in time to avoid running into a brick wall. She peeked behind her. Aladdin jogged up and held his hands out for an answer. Nomad gave a nervous laugh, patting the wall. “Admittedly, it’s… heh, been a bit of a while.”

“Ya think?” Aladdin laughed. A rough bellowing voice got both Nomad and Aladdin’s attention. Some guards helped the captain up from his painful split, while others hopped around in pursuit. 

Nomad double checked the height of the wall. Not that high. “Time for uppies, kid.” She bent down a bit and put her hands together on her knee.

With a nod, Aladdin dashed back down the alley towards the guards before sprinting fast back towards Nomad. With full speed, he launched upward with Nomad’s boost and caught the edge of the building. The young man hauled himself to the roof and watched. 

Nomad quickly tied her cape around herself and grabbed her staff in her mouth before taking a similar run, just barely a couple feet from the chasing guards. She ran up the wall a few feet and grabbed Aladdin’s outheld arm. Aladdin quickly put everything he had into pulling the woman upward and got her onto the roof just as the guard’s reached the dead end.

Razoul shoved his way to the front of the gang of guards and growled. “You won’t get away with this so easy, streetrat!” He shook his fist at the pair.

Nomad shuffled to the edge of the roof and took a seat. “Aw, your mother’s hummus is runny, ya drooling mongrel.”

“Gah!? No one makes fun of my mother’s hummus and lives!” Razoul thrust his sword towards them before turning and shoving his men away. “Find a way up there! NOW!”

Nomad watched the crowd of guards file away into the main road. “And they say people are supposed to calm down with age.” Nomad kicked her feet.

“Who could say that after meeting you?” Aladdin laughed. “Never met anyone that can get under people’s skin like you.”

Nomad clicked her tongue, smiling at the young man. “How are you such a sweet-talker and still don’t have a girl?”

Aladdin chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well… actually…”

“THERE!” 

Both turned around with a jump as Razoul’s voice came somewhere behind. The sound of feet beating on stone steps got closer. The ridiculously tall turbans of the guard’s peaked over the roof as the wearer’s stormed in closer. 

Aladdin jogged around Nomad and pointed to the next roof in the city’s sea of buildings. “One more jump?”

Nomad hopped to her feet, grinning. “Always, kid.”

---------

Author's Note: Tomorrow, I'm heading off to my BF's for a few weeks and while this scene isn't 'done' done, it felt complete enough to post. I feel bad I'm not updating as fast as I used to but the chapters are longer so hopefully what I put out is worth the wait.

--

(Part 12)

(Part 14)

[rosadraws]

Happy let Papyrus say fuck day!

[rosadraws]

Now... I wanna know.

Now, when Jasmine found out Aladdin was actually Prince Ali for the first time and got upset at him--

Why didn't she ask how he was alive?!

Jafar had told her that he sentenced him to death by beheading, no?

And the Sultan didn't let Aladdin out, considering he said, "Discuss sentencing with me before doing so!" Which meant he would let this one slide

So Aladdin was technically never let out

During the time with the Genie, she thought he was already dead or still in prison

So the more logical and canon reaction from her would be "You're alive?!" or "How'd you get out?" When she realized it was him all along.

And his excuse would've made no sense either because of his time in jail

So after his excuse, it would've been more suspicious!

So, according to this, Aladdin being in jail was forgotten.

[rosadraws]

Return of Jafar - Rewrite (Pt 13)

Art by @rosadraws

(Part 1)

The loud panic of the bazaar crowd was dotted with terrified gasps and screams. A mother climbed onto a stand, knocking a good amount of pots off the table as she desperately tried to get her child off the ground. The cobra looked up at the two humans and gave them a hiss. The tiny child started crying and buried their face into their mother’s dress.

That was them controlled. Mitr scanned the last bits of the human pack not yet scattered. On the far side of the road, a younger male human was grabbing a plank. Danger. But he was trained for this. He stood tall and still as the man ran up. Wait for the human.

The younger male human froze as the cobra met his eyes. It gave a long deep hiss. Its coffin-shaped head opened to sport two sharp curved fangs. The beast had no fear. In fact, the man’s slight hesitation emboldened it.

The man swung the board down hard. The serpent threw itself backwards just away from the blow before launching at the man’s sleeves. The very slight snag of the snake grabbing his robe made the man drop his weapon and flee to the alleys. Mirt stood tall, proud. Mother taught him well. He would always do well by Mother.

--

Jafar found himself watching the woman sprint up and down the abandoned marketplace, stuffing this and that into her bag. The amount of times his long scraggly beard was woven in and out of his fingers as he thought only strengthened its greasy twisted stylings. She had most of the bazaar to herself. People could see her but with a cobra on a mission to one side and a ‘mad’ bactrian camel to the other, no one dared even try to get close to her. Assuming both creatures held the line, she’d get away cleanly.

The nomad wasn’t just irritating; she was smart. Cunning even. Meaning she would be just as annoying to her enemies as she was to him. Jafar already knew what he wanted out of her, and he would have it, but still… a faint hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Jafar’s lips. If he was a less ambitious man…

“Gweh! Guh!”

Jafar glanced to the side and sighed. 

Iago was flying out of a vendor’s abandoned stall, exceptionally slowly, with a coin bag almost as big as himself weighing him down. “Hey, big guy!” The bird said, straining to stay in the air. “Help me out here! I got a bad back! Give me a hand!” With a smirk, Jafar turned to the bird and started tapping the back of one hand with the other, in a quiet polite applause. “Oh, you’re a riot, ya know that!” Iago snapped. “You oughta just quit this genie gig and go into stand-up, you’re so funny!”

Jafar’s smile sunk away but he held out his hand. The bird dropped the weighty sack of money in the hand with an exhausted gasp before pathetically flapping to his partner’s shoulder. “In due time, my friend.” Jafar said. “In due time. We must have patience.” 

Iago dropped down on Jafar’s shoulder, panting. “Yeah, yeah, I caught that nice-guy routine in the alley. That means you have a plan.” He gave one final big groan before slowly getting to his feet. “But what plan could ya possibly have? ‘Cause unless I misheard something, your master is the mother of the guy we want to kill!”

“Yesss.” Jafar hissed, grinning. “I assure you, Iago. We will have our revenge, one even sweeter than if the… constraints of my current predicament weren’t so unfortunate.” He looked at the woman again. She stood in the middle of the road, turning in place, looking around rather frantically. After a moment of searching, the woman dashed off again.

Jafar idly caressed the large bag of money. The cruelty of fate turning even a pleasant windfall like free money into a meaningless gesture. He could make far more gold than there was on the entire planet. He could make everything he desired a reality. Yet even the thought of doing so caused the gold cuffs to tighten in warning. 

“All we need do is see the pieces walk into place and then I, I shall take my rightful place as Ruler of AAAH!”

Jafar was nearly thrown off balance as Nomad spun the man around to face her. “Hey, have you seen any meat stands around? I’m trying to get pork for my curry.” She looked around Jafar to the crowd held back by Balavaan’s mad camel act.

“Pork?” Jafar said with disgust. “It’s filthy meat from a filthy animal; why would you want that?”

Nomad looked at him in confusion before her eyes widened and she hit her forehead with a hand. “Gah, I forgot Muslims don’t eat pig!” She looked up and down the roads again for a moment before she snapped her fingers. ”I saw some goat, I can use that instead!” In a hurry, she grabbed Jafar’s wrist and started dragging him up the road. “Come help me.”

“I! Refuse!” Jafar managed to yank his arm out of his master’s grab. He saw the woman roll her eyes before continuing walking away at a hurried pace. “I may owe you… certain obligations,” Jafar stated as he followed. “But I don’t owe you any free labor. If you want my help stealing things, use a wish.”

Nomad scoffed. “Then don’t steal for me.” As she hurried by a fruit stand, she picked up an apple from a basket and held it up. “Steal because you can.” She half turned to Jafar, walking sideways as she spoke. “Come on, genie. Haven’t you ever wondered what it feels like to be able to break the rules?” She gently tossed the apple and hit it with her elbow, sending it flying straight into Jafar’s free hand. She bumped Jafar with her hip before sprinting off into a nearby building.

Jafar levitated the bag of money in the air with hardly a thought before holding the apple with both hands. She was right; he did miss breaking rules. Bribing the guards to do his dirty work, blackmailing others in the Sultan’s council when they started looking too hard into his out-of-palace activities. It was necessary, true, but it was a specific precious thrill to the matter, to hold that power over others.

There was no bargaining or bribing with this curse. His obedience was mandatory, through and through. Even mild missteps brought sudden unpleasant reactions out of his shackles. The mere thought of refusal got punished. 

The question was why did she care? He was her slave. She made him call her master. Surely, she’d want him subservient, quiet, miserable. Was it a trick? A test? What answer was she looking for?

Was she looking for an answer?

After a moment’s pause, Jafar took a bite of the apple and turned back to go grab another.

------------

Aladdin grabbed a stall’s awning support and half-stood on the counter. The uneasy crowd seemed to be slowly shuffling away as the two-humped camel thrashed about in the narrow road. The camel stood still long enough to rear up and kick forward with a hoof. Its reins were old worn ropes dyed a pale purple.

It was her!

Aladdin grinned before gently picking Abu off his shoulder and setting him on Jasmine’s back. “Watch her back for me, buddy.”

Abu chirped as he gave a tiny salute. He swiftly moved to Jasmine’s shoulder and started striking kung fu poses, with enthusiastic squeaks and squawks.

Jasmine giggled. “My hero.” She scratched under the monkey’s chin.

Aladdin climbed on top of the awning and started jumping from one stall roof to the next. He jumped down next to the camel, giving the beast a fright. After backing up a bit, the camel made another gurgling bellow before rearing up again.

Aladdin put his hands up and backed up a little “Whoa whoa whoa, Balavaan. It’s me!” The young man said, calmly. The camel stood down, but kept one leg up still ready to kick. It shook its wild poof of long fur off of its eyes and stared Aladdin down. “You know me, buddy. Remember?” Aladdin gave a quick whistle, a low note rising up to a high one.

The camel’s ears perked up instantly and it marched forward blindly. Aladdin laughed as the camel pinned him between a fish stand and the beast’s own fluffy neck. “Yeah, you’re absolutely Balavaan.” Aladdin just barely managed to squeeze out from the camel and grabbed the reins laying on the saddle. Two clicks of the young man’s tongue made Balavaan lay down, legs tucked under its massive body.

The crowd that had stayed to watch ‘‘ooh’ed and ‘aww’ed, with a few people starting an applause. Aladdin bashfully looked away and put a hand on the back of his neck. “Hey, it’s fine. Not a big deal. Just a camel that… got spooked or something.”

Balavaan looked up at the young man with one eye. There was a red thing on the human’s head.

“Look, the important thing is no one got hurt.”

Balavaan wanted the red thing.

“Now did anyone see someone with this camel before it went nuts?”

Balavaan stretched his neck up and started sniffing Aladdin’s hair.

Aladdin pushed the camel’s head away and centered his undersized fez back onto his head. “A woman maybe? Wearing a lot of blue and green?” 

Balavaan took a mouthful of black hair and pulled down.

“Looks about-- AAAAHHHHHHH!”

---

Only the light peeking through the shuttered windows and a single clay oil lamp lit up the butcher’s shop. A lot more flies in here than most would care for but Nomad didn’t have time to be a snob. 

She took a whiff of one of the hanging chunks of meat and made an ugly face. That was rotting. She quickly moved to a much drier looking chunk of meat. That was aging. She quickly pulled a kunai from her satchel and started slicing off a generous portion of the cut.

Halfway done, a loud male scream came from down the main road. It was to her right. That was Balavaan’s side. She rolled her eyes. “There’s the idiot trying to be a hero.” She muttered. She quickly lopped off a good bit of meat and wrapped it in her cleanest rag before shoving it in her bag.

---

Mango. Banana. Pear. Jafar reached for an orange and willed away the peel before taking a bite and tossing the rest onto the counter. Iago hopped out of the way just in time to not get hit. The parrot pulled the half orange closer and took another bite of an already half-eaten mango. Somehow, Jafar made even free food feel demeaning. Taking everything just to make the bird eat his scraps. 

The pair both jumped slightly as a pained yell rang out in the distance. “Yeesh, someone get stabbed?” Iago asked. He took off high in the sky and flapped down the road towards the yell. 

The crowd by the camel was much smaller now, and people were even filtering through side streets and alleys to get back into the marketplace. “Uh-oh. Guess Mama’s gotta get a move on.” The parrot muttered to himself. A young man pushed the camel’s head away and turned to a very sympathetic woman. “Ok, it’s some kid with a purple vest and a tiny red fez.” Iago moved in a little closer. The young man brushed the side of the woman’s headscarf away and gave a quick but loving kiss on her cheek. “And some broad way outta his league?” A tiny monkey hopped on the woman’s shoulder and gave the man a few gentle pats on the hair where the camel bit him. “Hang on, purple vest, fez, hot lady, and a monkey dressed exactly like him?!” Iago had a long gasp of realization and raced away.

Jafar looked up from the fruit displays just in time for Iago to crash into his chest. “No murder, I assume?” The man peeled the ruffled macaw off his tunic. Iago squirmed in Jafar’s grip, squawking, screeching and thrashing about like… well, like an animal. Jafar tightened his grip. “I taught you Arabic for a reason. Use your words.”

Iago choked a bit before yanking a wing out of Jafar’s fist and pointing to the far side of the marketplace. “Aladdin!”

Jafar’s hand clenched even tighter as the man gasped. “Aladdin? Here?!” Jafar’s form vanished into a red mist that quickly wormed through the stall. Iago gave a short yell before he saved himself from a drop. The bird growled and followed the mist towards the edge of the market.

Jafar reformed by a stall and ducked slightly behind a pile of cheap fabric. Through the small trickle of people getting back to the market, one stood out; the young well-built urchin that caused all of Jafar’s suffering. “Aladdin…” Jafar growled lowly.

“Ya know, if you’re gonna keep doing this hocus pocus stuff so much,” Iago flapped over to his partner, “ya gotta start letting me know when you’re gonna stop being solid.”

“Hush.” Jafar snapped under his breath.

“I’m just saying; a nod, a wink, anything! ‘Cause--” 

“YOU!” A gravelly voice shouted over the crowd, making Iago flinch. A large man in a guard’s uniform pushed aggressively through the crowd. Without another word, the guard grabbed Aladdin by the shirt and practically heaved the smaller man off the ground. 

“Hey, Razoul.” Iago chuckled. “Maybe we don’t need to do anything after all.” 

“Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop!” Nomad ran past Jafar, throwing something in his face as she raced by. “Here, hold this! Plop, plop. Plop, plop, plop!”

Jafar could barely blink before the cobra now in his hand flared out its hood with a mighty hiss. Jafar frowned. “I’m afraid not.” He said rather boredly before dropping the snake on the table top. Mitr coiled up and spat at Iago standing on the genie’s shoulder.

“Oh come on. This again?” Iago whimpered as he backed away. “We’re both animal sidekicks here! Can’t we have an understanding?” The cobra lashed forward. Iago jumped back with a yelp and dug under Jafar’s neck scarf for cover.

Nomad pulled her green hood further down over her face as she ran up to the guard. “Nobel sir, thank you so much for stopping my camel.” She pulled one of the guard’s hands off Aladdin and started shaking it. “I swear, I don’t have a clue how Bubbie got outta control,” Razoul slowly lowered Aladdin to the ground, his focus solely on the lady. ”But thankfully, a big strong handsome man like you was able to help me.”

 “It was a cobra!” An elderly woman dressed in dark brown robes yelled, whacking Razoul on the back with her cane. “Some fat guy knocked me down screaming and crying about it!”

“Cobra?” Aladdin glanced into the green hood. The woman inside was a darker, slightly older woman with a large stone medallion pinning her cape together around her neck. “Mama?” He whispered.

“This city needs more people li--” The woman paused to glance at Aladdin. “Like you?” Aladdin smiled and tipped his tiny faded red fez. The hooded woman gasped under her breath. “Monkey?” Her eyes grew wide as she looked back to the guard.

Oh right, she’d still think Aladdin was a streetrat. Aladdin gave her a kind smile and gently took her hand. “No, no, mom, it’s gonna be ok.” He put his other hand on her’s and gave a comforting squeeze. “We’ll be fine.”

Nomad quickly patted her camel on the shoulder, bidding Balavaan to stand. “Well, I won’t insult you with my presence any further.” She said quickly, flashing a smile at the guard. “I’ll just be on my way. Allah smile upon you!”

“You’re just gonna let her get away, ya knucklehead?” The elderly lady bonked Razoul on the head with her walking stick. “That one in the hood was running all over the empty market! Highly suspicious!”

----

The camera slowly zooms in on a small brick hut nestled against the shore of an oasis cradled among the dunes. “The cost of blue dyes these days is just getting out of hand honestly.” The young woman shook her head, taking a seat on a wicker couch.

The rocking chair creaked as Genie leaned back nodding. He took another sip of mint tea before adding, “Well, not to brag but,” He patted his wide but huggably soft blue chest. “I never had a problem with not having enough blue in my life…” He leaned onto the chair’s arm with a cheeky fake pout. “Honestly, it’s brass I coulda done with less of.”

The woman smiled as she reached over to touch her husband’s knee. “Of all the people you’ve brought home for jumping in your cart, this one’s my favorite.”

The cart driver chuckled. “And you said bringing home strangers was a bad idea.”

Genie shrugged a bit bashful. “What can I say? I’m just a social guy.” Genie looks away, a bit bashfully, before noticing you. “What. Oh, I get it. Someone said ‘suspicious’ so you’re here for an Among Us joke.” Genie leans in a bit closer. “You think I’d do that? Well, let me tell you what, buddy; I got class! I got standards! And more importantly--!” Genie leaned back in his chair with a shrug “I’m gonna do it later, so there.” He took another swig of his tea with a smile. “The Author’s also hoping to squeeze in an ‘I’ve come to make an announcement’ bit eventually too so stay tuned for that.”

--

Nomad pushed Balavaan to subtly block half the marketplace road with his broad body before starting to step away. Aladdin held her hand tighter and gently pulled her back. “Mom, I promise,” He looked into her eyes. “We. Will. Be. Fine.”

“Kid, we gotta go now!” Nomad whispered frantically. 

“Yeah, I saw her too!” Another man pushed past Jasmine to speak. “She was running all over, grabbing things!”

“If this is that cobra routine of yours again, just give back what you took.” Aladdin said.

“You know that never works!” Nomad growled through gritted teeth.

“Oh, did she!” Razoul tore Aladdin away from Nomad and grabbed the woman’s chin in his big meaty hand. He wouldn’t dare undress a woman’s head but his furious experienced eyes could still make out details in the shadow of her hood; a squarish face, wild dark hair… and a discolored slant running across her cheek to the bridge of her nose. His tongue instantly went to his missing upper right molar. “Yoooooou.”

“Meeee.” Nomad nervously grinned, hand slinking into the bag hidden under her cape. Her hands found a triangular glass bottle. Perfect! 

“Ohh-ho-ho-ho.” Razoul growled with a wide wicked grin. ”I’m going to enjoy making you suffer, vermin!” The guard put two fingers in his mouth and gave a loud ear-piercing whistle.

Aladdin grabbed part of Razoul’s shirt. “Hey, let her go, she’s with--!”

Nomad held the red glass vial high before smashing it on the ground. The area flashed like a bolt of lightning as a thick dark red cloud rushed out like a tide bursting through a broken dam. She yanked her camel’s reins forwards to cut off the rest of the road. Nomad grabbed her staff out of her pack and grabbed Aladdin’s arm. “Let’s go!”

Iago gulped as Nomad and Aladdin took off into an alley. “Hey, what’s gonna happen to you if your master ends up in jail?”

Jafar paused. ‘A genie without a Master goes back in their lamp’. Yes, Iago was still an option but the woman! She was too perfect for his plan. Nothing he could do alone, even if he was freed, would compare. He growled. Yet again, she was making things hard for him. “After her.” Jafar’s form vanished into its usual blood-red mist.

“Wait!” Iago launched out of Jafar’s cloud and clung desperately to the heavy sack on the stall table. “The money!”

Somehow the faceless red cloud managed a scowl before it quickly twirled around the coin bag. The bag vanished in a poof and reappeared, tied securely to Balavaan’s saddle. “Happy?” The cloud growled

“Perfectly so.” Iago grinned, waving back at the inmaterial Jafar with a bow. “After you, good sir.”

Razoul choked on some of the red clouds as he beat back the smoke. “I KNEW IT!” He saw Jasmine and quickly jabbed a finger at the thieves running away. “ONCE A THIEF ALWAYS A THIEF! You can deny my blade no longer!” With his bellows, he ripped his sword out of its scabbard and waved at the other approaching guards. “Today we kill that streetrat!”

“What?!” Jasmine gasped.

“Ah-wah-den!” Abu squawked, grabbing his head in a panic.

“Don’t you dare- HEY!” Jasmine grunted as other guards pushed her further and further back into the crowd. The large hairy camel groaned when the group of men started trying to shove him aside before whacking his large neck into them. Jasmine hid a quiet laugh behind her hand as the guards tumbled over each other. Razoul barked out some crass words Jasmine had no interest in repeating before the gang of guards started squeezing around the bull camel.

Something moved over head. Jasmine looked up and saw a red bird of some kind with a bellow of smoke trailing behind. The strange bird quickly crossed the market and took off down the alley where Aladdin was dragged. Odd.

-

“This way!” Nomad nearly slipped on the dirt before sprinting around a hard turn. 

Aladdin took the turn much better and caught up to the woman quickly. “You know, I’m glad you’re back, Mama,” He gasped as he ran, “But I had that under control back there.”

“You kidding, kid?!” Nomad looked behind them. The mob of guards crashed into the wall before scrambling to chase after them. “Remember what I told you? Never talk to guards! You--”

There was a wicked laugh from the end of the alley. Razoul jogged into view, blocking the running pair. Nomad’s medallion glowed slightly and the woman yanked her staff to the side. The sand under the guard’s feet slid from under him, dragging his legs suddenly and forcefully apart. 

The large man’s eyes filled with tears as the strain on a very sensitive part near his hips ripped through him. He bent over to put his hands on the aching area, just in time for Nomad to step on his shoulder and launch over him. 

“Always stay, one jump ahead of the guard-dogs.”

Aladdin ran up the wall to hop around Razoul with a smile. “Right, just grab, and then we run!”

“Don’t work, cause stealing’s much more fun.” Nomad took a blind turn down the shady narrow alleys between buildings. 

“Yeah, I remember.” Aladdin laughed. “One jump, to get to your freedom.”

“One leap to flee with style!” Nomad blinked and barely skidded to a stop in time to avoid running into a brick wall. She peeked behind her. Aladdin jogged up and held his hands out for an answer. Nomad gave a nervous laugh, patting the wall. “Admittedly, it’s… heh, been a bit of a while.”

“Ya think?” Aladdin laughed. A rough bellowing voice got both Nomad and Aladdin’s attention. Some guards helped the captain up from his painful split, while others hopped around in pursuit. 

Nomad double checked the height of the wall. Not that high. “Time for uppies, kid.” She bent down a bit and put her hands together on her knee.

With a nod, Aladdin dashed back down the alley towards the guards before sprinting fast back towards Nomad. With full speed, he launched upward with Nomad’s boost and caught the edge of the building. The young man hauled himself to the roof and watched. 

Nomad quickly tied her cape around herself and grabbed her staff in her mouth before taking a similar run, just barely a couple feet from the chasing guards. She ran up the wall a few feet and grabbed Aladdin’s outheld arm. Aladdin quickly put everything he had into pulling the woman upward and got her onto the roof just as the guard’s reached the dead end.

Razoul shoved his way to the front of the gang of guards and growled. “You won’t get away with this so easy, streetrat!” He shook his fist at the pair.

Nomad shuffled to the edge of the roof and took a seat. “Aw, your mother’s hummus is runny, ya drooling mongrel.”

“Gah!? No one makes fun of my mother’s hummus and lives!” Razoul thrust his sword towards them before turning and shoving his men away. “Find a way up there! NOW!”

Nomad watched the crowd of guards file away into the main road. “And they say people are supposed to calm down with age.” Nomad kicked her feet.

“Who could say that after meeting you?” Aladdin laughed. “Never met anyone that can get under people’s skin like you.”

Nomad clicked her tongue, smiling at the young man. “How are you such a sweet-talker and still don’t have a girl?”

Aladdin chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well… actually…”

“THERE!” 

Both turned around with a jump as Razoul’s voice came somewhere behind. The sound of feet beating on stone steps got closer. The ridiculously tall turbans of the guard’s peaked over the roof as the wearer’s stormed in closer. 

Aladdin jogged around Nomad and pointed to the next roof in the city’s sea of buildings. “One more jump?”

Nomad hopped to her feet, grinning. “Always, kid.”

---------

Author's Note: Tomorrow, I'm heading off to my BF's for a few weeks and while this scene isn't 'done' done, it felt complete enough to post. I feel bad I'm not updating as fast as I used to but the chapters are longer so hopefully what I put out is worth the wait.

--

(Part 12)

(Part 14)

[rosadraws]

It's Not Over Yet (Villains Lair) — PattyCake Productions music video

The baddies are back! In the wake of the revelations in the first season finale, our cadre of villains consider their options. Is there another way to achieve their goal? Can they exact revenge on their betrayers at the same time? Schemes are hatched and rivalries reinforced, but only time will tell if the remaining conspirators can cooperate long enough to see it through.

Details:

title: Villains Lair – s.2, ep.1 – It’s Not Over Yet

performers: Michelle Knight (Evil Queen); Alejandra Martinez (Maleficient); Navid Nowakhtar (Jafar); Andrea Stack Dunn (Lady Tremaine); Tiffany Trilli (Cruella De Vil); T. Robert Pigott (Captain Hook); Russell Warner (Frollo); Helaina Waze (Mother Goethel); Jaimz Dillman (Queen of Hearts); E. Michael Evans (Gaston); Brianna Fogden (Drizella Tremaine); Victoria Brandano (Anastasia Tremaine); Emoni Wilkins (Ursula); Hannah Juliano, Randi Solomon, & Tony Wakim (featured vocals)

written & arranged by: Layne Stein & Tony Wakim

screenplay by: James Keaton, Tony Wakim, & Layne Stein

release date: 24 September 2021

My favorite bits:

the music box style intro setting the dark fairy tale mood

each villain brooding in their own space as they lick their wounds from the reveal of Ursula and Facilier's betrayal

the transition from Maleficent's flames to Jafar's swirling sparks 🔥✨

the disgruntled growl in the Queen of Hearts's ♫ "waiting" ♫

everyone finally joining together for the end of the chorus

Lady Tremaine sparking the new plan to ally with Hades

introducing the new McGuffin for the season in the form of the black cauldron

Maleficent needling the Evil Queen over the source and veracity of her information

dividing the group into distraction and extraction crews, and both sides trying to foist Cruella off on each other

passing the melody of the final chorus from character to character until they reach the final line of unison

Trivia:

A full year and a half passed between the end of the first season and the start of the second. That was partly due to the usual challenges of scheduling such a large cast, but it was compounded by the need to keep them all safe in the midst of the pandemic.

In the weeks leading up to the premiere, the producers and cast members hosted a series of donate-a-thon livestreams to help raise funds for the rest of the season.

This episode was filmed in a former Victoria's Secret storefront space in the Oviedo Mall while the actual PattyCake studio on the other end of the building was receiving repairs and improvements.

While they were filming the episode, the gang also captured vignettes for the season 2 trailer, including teasers of Prince Hans from Frozen and Hades from Hercules. The latter is only seen in silhouette*, which probably indicates that they hadn't actually cast that role yet. * (and might be Eli from VoicePlay? That certainly looks like his noggin and mannerisms.)

A reporter from the Orlando Sentinel had shadowed Layne and Tony during filming and wrote a nice profile of them as scrappy creative artists and local businesspeople.

The streaming audio track seamlessly omits the middle dialogue portion.

[rosadraws]

I have been debating for the longest time whether I am ace or not. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!?

Jafar is the main thing that kept me from realizing I was asexual for like 4 years. The grip he had on my hormonal teenage brain was relentless. I never developed genuine sexual attraction to him or anyone else during that time but I was so down bad I thought I was automatically disqualified

[rosadraws]

🌱🌱🌱

[rosadraws]

Yes KING!!!

Also, I must say I find it so ironic how a guy is trying to sound more masculine by imitating a what is probably one of the most feminine Disney men. I could NOT blame you for wanting to sound like Jafar though, that is a voice any man or woman would adore!😍

Transition update

My voice is steadily dropping, but I really need to work on actually speaking like a guy. I keep defaulting to my old voice, and it just sounds too female (and it also makes me reach too high, where I just voice crack nonstop).

In that vein, I just discovered a way to reliably access my chest voice, and it's by imitating Jafar! 🤣

Would not mind sounding like Mr. Guyliner for the rest of my life! *cackles*

[rosadraws]

Suddenly remembered about Papyrus… had a strong urge to draw him because it’s been awhile since the last time …✍️

Drawing his emotions IS SO FUNNY his skull is so expressive???? Just adore him

THE GREATEST PAPYRUS DOODLES

Of course how can i ever forget about tumblr sexyman

Bro fell asleep after nice bed story time <333

I love Undertale so much it’s literally one of my favourite games… I Can’t even play genocide because i love all of them too much

Also nooo… my exams are biting meee….. I hope i will…. Survive….

[rosadraws]

ALAS, POOR PAPYRUS!

[rosadraws]

Captain Hook & Mr. Smee

[rosadraws]

I got bored at work so I decided to draw this man in my notebook. For drawing him from memory, I don’t think I did half bad (surprisingly).

I guess being sleep deprived helps one in some sectors😁👍🏻

[rosadraws]

Hey can I tell you guys something really stupid and horny that I can't get out of my head whenever I see certain shots of Jafar in Aladdin

[rosadraws]

New Customer - Pt 3 (Poll #2)

[Reposted with edited ending better suited to 'Cursed Cafe's tone]

(Part 1)

---

“I’m not sure what that is.”

“Suh-shy!” Captain Hook declared. “I’ve been getting it in the little clear boxes at the grocery store for my luncheons. A wonderful reminder of the sea whilst I pursue me passions on land!” 

The Potionista looked at Nomad standing next to Hook. The woman in yellow shrugged. “Hey don’t look at me. I’ve traveled across all Asia and I never heard of ‘suh-shy’.”

“Then you be a bigger con than I, me dear.” Hook shook his gold hook at the woman. “For suh-shy, I've been told, is Japanese cuisine.” 

“Japan-- Wait, are you talking about Sushi?” Potionista asked.

Nomad covered her eyes with her hands.

“Sue-she?” Hook twirled the tip of his mustache around his hook. “Hardly seems like the proper pronunciation.”

“Question:” Nomad put her hands down. “Can you read?”

Hook gasped in offense and stepped up to the woman. “Madam, you insult me! I’ll have you know before me pirate days, I went to the prestigious Eton College!”

Nomad smirked. “‘Went’ as in ‘you studied there’ or ‘went’ as in ‘hopped the fence to ogle the ladies’?”

“Eton is a boys school!” The pirate took a hooked swipe at the woman, who just managed to duck in time.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Potionista raised their voice. “No fighting!” 

“Oh, my apologies.” Nomad’s grin got bigger. “Did you hop the fence to ogle the boys… sailor.” She flopped her wrist limply at the captain. 

As Hook pulled back his hook again, the Potionista quickly leaned over the counter to grab the prosthetic. Both patron and employee froze and the Potionista saw a very distinct level of seething outrage happening behind Hook’s large stern eyes. The Potionista gently pushed Hook’s hook down. Now to think of something that would give the world’s most incorrigible pirate captain something to think about. 

… 

Thinking was hard; just say something. “I’ll ban you.”

The captain took a very deep breath, still staring the employee in the eyes, before throwing his head back in a hardy laugh. He pulled his hook from the Potionista and grinned. “Bold, me bucko, very bold. Normally, I’d never allow this kind of insubordination but...” The captain glanced at his spot in the back of the cafe. The true-blue pirate flag posted to the bathroom door. “You’ve helped me sail rather rough seas and I’ve forgiven me first mate for worse, I suppose.” Hook gave the slightest of waves and the smallest head bow. “I shall abide… for now.” With that, the captain returned to his landline phone in the back and started dialing numbers.

Nomad stepped up to the counter with an eye roll. “You don’t have to stick your neck out for me, ya know.” She said, “I’m a big girl, I can do my own hair and everything.” She pulled her short smooth swoop of a ponytail around her neck to show it off.

“I kinda have to if you keep going around making people angry like that.” The employee wiped down the counter. “I’ve had enough fighting in this job already, from some people.” The employee looked at Jafar and Maleficent, neither of which even noticed the slightly raised tone of voice from behind the counter.

Nomad scoffed and put her hands on her hips. “Bubbie, if I’m not making someone mad by just existing, I’m not leading a life worth living. People being mad means you’re challenging their world. And that’s the first step to changing minds.”

The Potionista did agree with the sentiment, but this kinda crowd had a habit of disagreeing destructively. “Well, maybe you can change minds elsewhere once in a while.”

“I’m about to! Which is what I need your help with.” The woman smiled. “I need one of those Beasty potions or whatever they’re called. Something to make me part-animal for a bit.”

“You need to be part animal?” The employee asked. “What for?”

Nomad shrugged. “I set up my charity and Jafar and Cruella’s donations helped me kickstart the basics but I need influence and word of mouth to get the camel really running. And I found the perfect targets!” She clapped her hands together. After a moment, she started glaring at the Potionista, batting her eyes in an obnoxiously fast manner.

Oh, she wanted to be asked.

The Potionista sighed and unscrewed the cap of their water bottle “Who’d you find?” They smiled before taking a sip.

“Furries!”

The employee’s gut reaction made them choke on their water, spitting a tiny amount of it on the counter. They gulped what was in their mouth down and coughed for a moment. “Furries?!”

Nomad grabbed the wash rag and wiped the counter down. “Absolutely! I spent all last night researching them.”

The Potionista had a heavy inhale and put their head in a head. They leaned on the counter as they exhaled. “Hoo boy.”

“Get this; It’s a huge community that’s not only well-connected to each other, but in businesses. There’s furries all over; media corporations, tech giants, financial pillars, everything! And with all the conventions and ‘peripherals’ they have, they all got disposable income.” Nomad leaned onto the counter. “Do you know how much one of those full-body costumes they have costs? Five thousand dollars!”

The Potionista tucked their water bottle away. “Oh yeah, the really good ones are super expensive and you gotta be really careful about dirt and sweat. It’s a lotta work.” The employee saw Nomad give her a confused look. “Uh, so I’ve been told. Uh, heard, I mean.”

Nomad shook her head. “Sure, bubbie. Anyways, I’m gonna infiltrate a big con they got going on downtown and I need to blend in. And since I am absolutely not spending thousands on a costume for just one day, I need a potion. So, chop chop. Uh, please.”

“Uh, sure. Coming right up.” 

The Potionista flipped open the potion book and flipped to the Savage Shake potion. She’s gonna use this to meet furries. The thought made the employee hit their forehead with the edge of the book. In went the ingredients, about a minute of boiling, she’s going to use this to meet furries, and the Potionista slid the finished brew to the sorceress without making eye contact.

Nomad finished the drink in one fast swig and turned the glass upside down on the counter. A sudden poof of magic enveloped her and quickly fell away. Maybe actually wanting the potion made the effect stronger because Nomad was a lot more changed than the other times the Potionista had ‘accidentally’ switched orders on villains that were being too demanding.

Rather than adding a simple fluffy squirrel tail, the potion gave Nomad a long elegant lion tail ending with a reddish-brown poof of fur. Her hands were now broader, paw-like and tipped with claws. Her ears were wider and rounder and even her skin turned a tawny color instead of its usually deep tan.

The woman’s exclamation at her transformation came out more like a growl than a gasp. But she was smiling, relaxed, extending her new claws in admiration. Despite that, the employee could see a lot of the villains giving them a glare. The Potionista just pointed at Nomad. Not their fault, not this time.

Nomad’s new tail flicked forward so she could see it. “Nice. So, do I look like a furry?”

The Potionista cringed slightly. “Yes, yes you do.”

“Good! Then I’m off!” With a pounce-like spring in her step, Nomad charged out the front door into the city.

“No taking pictures or hugging without express permission!” The Potionista called out after the woman. The glares of the other villains took a much more confused look. “Uh… it’s… just ‘cause it’s rude, ya know?” The employee shrugged nervously. “I assume.”

Cruella watched Nomad leave before scoffing. “Here’s hoping she causes as much chaos for those ‘furries’ as she does here. Any group of people willingly wearing neon green and pink together on fake fur deserves all the suffering they can get…”

-----

“All hands! I have an announcement!” The pirate captain bellowed most proudly.

“You wear a wig.” Nomad said, mouth half full of yakisoba. 

Hook frowned. “No. I-”

“You have worn wigs.”

“No! I-”

“You will be wearing wigs.”

“Woman! You will be quiet or else you shall taste me six pounders!”

Nomad dropped her takeout box on the free chair next to her and dug deep into her hiking backpack. She soon pulled out a teal bowling ball with gold flakes on the surface and held it above her head. “How about you eat my eleven-pounder!”

The Potionista leaned far over the counter, pointing at Nomad. “You throw that, you’re banned for life!”

The woman scowled and dropped the bowling ball on her table. “Tyrant.” She muttered.

Hook held his big bold nose up with a sneer before clearing his throat. “The first preview of my rewrite is in two days and I have generously decided to let the patrons of this establishment vie for a coveted seat to the dawn of Broadway’s new era!”

Immediately, every other patron in the cafe turned away, aggressively avoiding any level of eye contact, even more so than they normally did. Well, if they weren’t interested... “I’d love to go, captain.” The Potionista said with a smile. “If it’s after hours, of course.”

“Tis, my friend.” The pirate nodded. “I shall save you a seat. Why, if all goes well, I may even be persuaded to give a backstage tour, hmm?” There was a rare earnest nature about the captain’s mood, one the employee wanted to reward.

“And here I thought it’d be too much just asking for an autograph.” 

The captain held his head high, with a small chuckle and a rare beaming smiling.

“Is it still an authentic pirate story?”

The captain looked behind him to see Nomad standing next to him, thankfully without the bowling ball. Hook sneered. “Of course, it’s authentic, woman! I am a pirate; this tale is me own story!”

Plus a boat-load of lies, the employee worded silently behind a swig of their water bottle. 

“Besides what care have you for theater, drifter?”

The woman shrugged. “My dad told me lots of stories about his run-ins with pirates when I was growing up but he lied about everything so I was wondering if I’d actually learn about real pirates from the show.”

Hook’s posture shifted, relaxing ever so slightly. “Run-ins? Your father is a sailor?”

“Big merchant sailor from what I remember. Had a whole bunch of boats shipping cargo from everywhere.”

Hook started leaning in, a wicked grin sneaking across his face. “Oh, did he now? Do tell, m’dear.”

Nomad looked away, frowning. “What’s to tell? He’s chartered to sail for a bunch of bourgeoisie who’s whos that are too dumb and useless to sail and get their precious fancy whatevers themselves.”

“And where, pray tell, does he dock, may I ask?”

The Potionista knew what was going on. “Ok, captain, let’s not pry. She’s doesn’t--”

“I can give you a list of his usual ports if you want; doesn’t matter to me.” The woman shrugged again before marching to her backpack in the back. “The only reason I keep track is to not be in town when he is.”

“Um!” The employee leaned over the counter. “He’s a pirate!” They quickly looked to Hook with a hand up. “I’m not judging, ok? I’m just saying.” They looked back to Nomad. “And pirates and merchant sailors meeting on the high seas usually go only one way.” 

Captain Hook had a low evil chuckle, nodding. Nomad came back with a tiny notepad and ripped out one of the papers. Hook snatched the tiny list from the woman’s hand almost as fast as she waved it his way.

“But--” The employee sputtered. “That’s your father!”

“And he never did a good thing for me.” The woman growled. “In fact…” Nomad pulled Hook in close, breaking the man’s concentration on the list. “If you sink that evil codger, I’ll give you a little something from my own nest egg as a bounty. Something special from the desert, something I doubt many other seamen would be able to get their… hooks into.”

Hook glared and pushed into the woman. “You dare think me some mercenary for hire?”

Nomad pushed back. “I’m just saying, bring me his stupid fancy hat and I’ll give you some treasure. Easy.”

Hook shifted his weight to brace against the woman more. “Treasure by your standards, woman, or treasure by mine?”

Nomad growled and started trying to push Hook back with her shoulder. “I’ll get you gold, if you wanna be such a shallow vapid--!”

The shoulders of the two patrons slipped off each other and the pair’s heads crashed into each other before both fell to the ground. The Potionista looked over the counter as the rest of the cafe broke out into laughter. “You guys ok?”

“Fantastic.” Nomad rubbed her aching head. “I love concussions. Got a collection of em.”

With a fair bit of wobble in his movement, Hook managed to haul himself back to his feet with the counter rather quickly. “One of those…” The captain hooked into the counter as he suddenly started falling backwards. After a moment, he straightened up, looking slightly more dignified. “One of those ‘poof-away’ potions, Mister Sm-- I mean, Potionista. I must return to me ship at once!”

“Do not hunt down other patron’s fathers.” The employee said pathetically. “I can’t believe I have to say this.”

“I do not tell you how to run your ship!” Hook said, with a very slight drift off balance. “Do not ask me how I run mine. Besides…” Hook glanced at the woman still sitting on the ground. “She did only ask for a sunken ship and a hat.”

“I can hear you, ya wobble-legged bilge rat.” The woman grumbled.

The potionista sighed and started rubbing their temple. “Just steal the hat, ok?”

Hook gave a very neutral grunt in response, but the grin on his face was still evident. “Fine.” The employee sighed. Molten Candle Wax, Unfiltered Chaos, brew, fancy glass. The potionista kept their hand on the glass, even as Hook reached for it. “Just the hat.”

Hook scoffed and pulled the glass away. “What kind of savage cad do you take me for?”

“A pirate.”

The bluntness in the employee’s tone made the captain chuckle. “I always forget you are smarter than you look, my friend.” The man took a strong full swig of the glass and set it down before vanishing in a cloud of blue magic.

Nomad’s arm slapped onto the counter, and with an unhappy groan the woman finally stood back up. “Ya know, Barkeep, if you’re gonna be an insufferable goody-goody, maybe you should be the one running the charity.”

The employee set the glass into the powerwasher in the back. “Does that mean the… convention didn’t go well for you?”

Nomad stood up a bit straighter though still holding the counter for balance. “No, it went great. Met a lot of people with a lot to say on issues I can take care of to start making a name for myself.”

“Dare I ask?”

“Well, animal rights and protections of course… Because some people like fur more when it’s on the animal it comes from!” Nomad glared at Cruella.

The fashionist just made a disgusted noise, not even bothering to look up from her sketches.

“Yeah, they remembered you, bubbie. Nasty old-”

“What else did they talk about?” The potionista said, slightly raising their voice.

“Something called Hostile Architecture.”

“Hostile architecture?” The employee jumped from the Evil Queen’s sudden appearance at the counter. Her majesty had a very rare faint smile as she drew ever so slightly closer to the other woman. “Go on.”

“It’s like those metal bars they put in the middle of benches to keep people from laying down on ‘em or having concrete walls be slanted on the top so people can’t sit on them.” She shook her head frowning. “It’s just a bunch of wasted money meant to punish the homeless for having nothing at the cost of everyone being more miserable.”

“How interesting.” The queen purred. “You can grant public amenities designed to be nearly useless and there would be no revolts from the masses if you claim it will harm their own lessers?”

“Exactly! Just look at Yen-Sid Plaza by the docks.” Nomad waved at the door. “A huge open public space for people to hang out in after going to the beach or the boardwalk but there’s no places to sit or lay down so there’s no reason to go there. It’s just a huge slab of concrete with a big weird abstract fountain in the center.” 

The Queen glanced away, still smiling, and silently returned to her seat on the inside balcony.

“You could have food trucks, local vendors filling the whole place daily and get a huge community going but noooo, Shiva forbid we let people just exist.” A strange breeze swept across the counter as the woman huffed. 

“Soooo,” The potionista tapped their fingers on the counter. “Am I going to be getting involved in this or are you just venting?”

“I can take care of it, easy; I just worry about using my magic in public.” Nomad crossed her arms and looked away, looking more worried now than angry. “When people see real magic out in the open, they start wanting it for themselves. They’re savages.”

“That’s not true. No one bothers Ursula or Maleficent about their magic.”

“They have a reputation. They’re naturally intimidating.” Nomad shook her head. “I don’t look like anyone, so no one cares what they do to me.”

She didn’t look like anyone? The Potionista looked Nomad over again. Long-sleeve shirt with a two-hump camel on it. Brown-red pants. Big chunky silver bracelet on her right arm. Long-strap leather satchel with a tiny black lamp keychain. Wild curly dark brown hair held back by a yellow headband with a stone medallion on it. A tiny smooth swoop of a ponytail. And a green hoodie tied around her neck by the hood strings.

“You kinda look like a kooky aunt that’s always up to ten different new things everytime they show up to the family reunion.” The potionista eventually answered.

Nomad gave a single loud laugh before smiling. “I guess I am, aren’t I?” Her smile returned and she looked back at the employee. “Still not intimidating but better than nothing I guess.”

Hmm, what to do, what to do? They should probably try to sell Nomad a potion for the sake of the business… But so rarely did these people actually pay and Nomad mentioned not actually having money at all. On the other hand, the book never never talked about payments and really the Potionista just liked helping.

“If you’re still worried about people seeing you use magic, we have an invisibility potion that can hide you.” Hang on, was this aiding and abetting? 

“Yes! Give me that!”

This was probably aiding and abetting. Actually, this whole job was aiding and abetting. But if they helped Cruella get a flying car, what was activist-related destruction of public property in comparison? 

Coppered Water and Luminequeces into the brewer, then the fancy glass and the employee slid the potion across the counter to the woman. She downed the black brew in a fast swig and swiftly vanished in a cloud of black smoke. “No witch hunts today, bubbie! HahahahaaaAAAAAAAH!” 

Half of Cruella’s coat suddenly flew open, making the bony woman inside gasp in utter offense. Right after, Maleficent’s selfie stick got knocked down by an unseen force. The sorceress breathed an angry plum of green fire just as the cafe door was kicked open while Nomad giggled out into the street.

“Pardon me, dearie…” 

The Potionista turned to see Ursula leaning on the rim of her tub, looking ever so slightly concerned. It couldn’t have been for Nomad, right?

“Do Land Folk really… hunt witches?” The mer-woman said with a grimace.

“I don’t think humans have done witch hunts regularly for like 400 years.”

Ursula smiled widely and instantly relaxed. “Oh good! Good.” She slid down deeper into her tub. “Not that I was worried, mind you, but one can never be too careful these days when you’re--”

“A fish out of water?” The employee butted in, smiling.

Usrula’s smile vanished. “Ha. Ha. Ha.” She said sarcastically. “Tooooo funny. Ya come up with that one all by yourself, angelfish?” She shook her head and returned her attention to her orb. “Land folk only have one joke, I swear.”

----

“WHERE IS THAT SCURVY WENCH?!” 

The Potionista fumbled a bit before successfully catching their phone. They looked up through the purple haze of the new day in the cafe to see Hook wide-eyed, teeth-gritted and sword in hand. The employee’s eyes immediately went to Nomad’s sitting on her table, egg sandwich in hand.

Hook grabbed the stair railing and swung his sword at Nomad’s seat. The woman bolted towards Ursula’s tub and ducked behind the fake tree pillar.

“Captain, we talked about the sword!” The Potionista begged. “Not this early! Come on!”

“Yeah, I just woke up too! What’s going on?” Nomad peeked around the column only to instantly pull back. The pirate’s sword cut into the pillar, forcing a nearby Ursula to duck. The blade cleaved the sand illusion in the tree truck revealing the true support beam underneath very briefly. “You shall pay for your treachery with your blood, you vile vagrant!” Hook tried to pull his sword out but found the blade stuck in the beam. Ursula took the opportunity to hop out of her tub and scuttle to the far end of the counter.

“Treachery? Do you know how little that narrows what I did to you down? I make people like you mad for breakfast. ” Nomad glanced at her sandwich. “And…also during breakfast I guess.”

The captain braced a foot against the pole and gave his sword a few good yanks. The blade soon cut back out of the support beam and the force sent Hook stumbling backwards into the seat of an open chair. The pirate quickly jumped back to his feet with stomp and poised both himself and his blade perfectly upright. He quickly shifted into a strong fighting stance, sword pointed at Nomad. “En Garde!” 

Nomad put her sandwich down on the end of the stair railing and held her right hand out. A blue cloud of cold mist formed from her hand and flowed outward before solidifying into a bat. The mist twirled around the bat, conjuring a serpentine ornament made of mismatched scrap metal coiled around the shaft. She put the bat over her shoulder and braced herself. “Batter up!”

“Guys, can we not do this?” The employee raised their voice. “We just opened!”

Hook charged forward with a yell. Nomad swung her bat, beating the blade away. Hook spun about from the impact and swung his sword towards the woman’s other side. The metals of the bat and the blade clanged loud from the impact. The captain furiously pushed forward with fervent slashes, slowly driving his defending target into the back of the cafe.

The woman could see the front of the building slowly getting further away. There wouldn’t be much building left behind her. Hook knew how to handle a sword. She hardly knew how to fight. She never needed to learn. She always had her tricks. She smirked. She always had her tricks. 

Nomad braced her bat with both hands and took the full force blow, catching the blade against the metal snake. Nomad leaned in and spat a black puff of smoke before shoving the blade away.

Hook blindly swiped at a bit of yellow he saw dashing through the cloud with his hook. “Stand and fight, you coward!” He snarled, waving the smoke away.

“Coward?” Nomad grinned. “No one calls me a coward and lies! I mean lives!” Just stay in the open. Just have to keep moving. She backed up closer to the front as Hook caught sight of her.

Hook charged with a snarl, sword held back for another swing. Nomad quickly tapped Cruella on her shoulder as she ducked around a column. The fashion mogul just barely glanced up from her papers before screaming. In an instant, she snatched the end table in front of her and held it up, just in time to block the very tip of the blade. As Hook hurried after Nomad around the pillair, Cruella looked at the long single scratch mark on the table. “You tacky tactless boat-man!” She screeched. “This was hand-carved mahogany and you ruined it!!” The woman threw the end table to the ground in disgust and started pouting.

Gaston let out a high pitch squeal as he dove to the ground, just missing the sword slicing the cushions of his window-side couch. Jafar quickly bolted from his own seat nearby, ducking back momentarily to grab his umbrella cane, before scurrying off for the far back of the cafe.

Nomad hopped from the couch to the top of Jafar’s chair and stepped down to the table, Hook following close after. Metal clashed, sparks flew. The dueling patrons slowly ducked over and around the back line of seating and tables back towards the stairs again.

“You can’t run forever, woman!” Hook declared. “There’s nowhere you can go that I can’t follow!”

As Nomad stepped down from a chair head onto the table she always sat, she held a hand out to her backpack. A small trickle of sand flowed out of the nooks and pockets of the bag into her palm. “Wanna bet?”

The Evil Queen glared at both parties, now undeservedly close to her majesty, before silently and gracefully walking down the steps to join the others by the counter.

Nomad tossed the sand behind her onto the Queen’s now abandoned table. She beat back Hook’s blade hard and climbed over the railing to stand on the lone one-person table. 

Hook quickly vaulted the railing and jumped on the one-legged table too. He made a powerful blow down that Nomad blocked with her bat. Nomad made a strong effort to shove the man back over the railing but the pirate quickly braced himself and started pushing the woman back again. As the woman’s feet left the table, the trail of sand slid off and frozen in mid-air behind her. The sand solidified under the woman as Hook stepped closer to the edge of the table.

“I have you now, y-WAAAH!” The table tipped over under Hook’s weight and the pirate crashed chin-first into the stairs. Nomad stood mid-air as the man crumpled, rolling down the half-flight of stairs and pathetically flopped to a stop on the ground floor. Hook blinked through his dazed state to see the small table roll off the balcony and start bouncing down the stairs. The captain only had enough time to give a sad tiny pathetic little ‘no’ before the table slammed its full weight into his face.

The rest of the patron’s ‘ooo’ed before they started chuckling to themselves. The Potionista leaned over the counter as close as they could get. “Oh geez, is he alive? Someone check on him!”

“I’m on it.” Nomad slid down the railing and knelt next to the fallen captain. “Yoo-hoo, sailor.” She patted his shoulder before pinching his big nose. “You good in there?” She gently smacked both sides of Hook’s head as a thoughtless dazed smile spread across his slackjaw face. “Aw, Cap’n’s gone nappin’.”

The pirate started blinking before he started limply trying to sit up on his own. “Huh?! Uh, yes, yes…” He said in a daze. “I ssssuppose… your shavesss do relax me so, Mister Smee-heehee.” 

Nomad pointed at Hook with a laugh and looked at the Potionista. “I like him; he’s silly.”

“Oh thank goodness, he’s ok.” The employee sighed. The slurring swordsman threw an arm around Nomad’s shoulders and pulled himself partially upward. He made an attempt to hook his prosthetic around the railing, but missed, slipped off the woman and slammed back to the ground instead. “Well… he’s alive…”

Seeing the early day’s excitement was winding down, most of the patrons returned to their usual place, outside of the Queen who was clearly waiting for the peasants to get out of the way.

“Up you go, sailor.” Nomad pulled the man half-upright by the sweater tied around his neck. She hooked his prosthetic onto the railing for support and shoved the rest of the man high enough for him to shakily stand up. “And with all the grace of a newly birthed camel, he is on his feet, ladies and gentlemen.” Nomad declared before standing up too.

“What did you do to him, Nomad.” The employee kept their eye on Hook. Once Nomad stepped up to the counter, the Queen breezed past and made her way back up the stairs, nearly knocking a weak and shaky Hook off the railing as she went.

Nomad looked around before shrugging. “You just saw it, Barkeep. Don’t know what to tell ya.”

“You sent me on a mission of death!” The captain pointed at Nomad before clutching the railing in a panic as his legs fell underneath him. “Your father! No ship had he but a floating fortress! And his crew naught but fire-eaters and mystics!”

“Huh, thought he’d have traded out the fire-eaters by now.” She turned back to Hook, smiling. “Hey, did he do that thing where he shoots fireworks at his enemies to burn their sails?”

“Yes, he shot fireworks at me and nearly burned me sails!” Hook snapped back in a rather biting tone.

“Nomad, you should have warned him about that stuff.” The Potionista sighed.

Nomad threw her hands up in an even bigger shrug. “I said my father was privately hired by a bunch of rich losers to ship their most expensive imports. What part of any of that would make you think he’d be an easy target?”

“I will not stand--” Hook’s legs buckled under him for just a moment before the man forced himself upward. “I will not stand for this affront on me person! My sword! Where is me sword!?” 

The Potionista glanced at the rapier on the higher level of the staircase. Thankfully, Hook was only looking at the ground where he fell. Had to get this calmed down quickly. “No more swords, captain. You two need to talk this out like adults.”

Nomad stuck her tongue out, making a fart noise.

The employee waved Hook to the counter and looked at Nomad. “We start with an apology.” 

Nomad crossed her arms and looked away towards the door. 

“We’re waiting.”

“Yeah Hook, we’re waiting.” Nomad smirked.

Before the angry pirate could sputter out a response, the employee butted in. “No. You started this so you apologize first.” 

The woman scoffed. “You’re always after me for things.”

“Because you’re the one always causing problems.” And you’re about the only one that actually seems to listen. “Now apologize.”

The woman rolled her eyes but still looked at the captain. “I’m sorry… you weren’t good enough t--”

“No. Do it right.”

“UGH! Fine! I’m sorry I tricked you.” The woman huffed. 

The Captain scoffed and pouted even harder. “Apologies don’t fix the cannonball holes in me quarters, woman, nor make right your attempt on me person!”

“Well, I wasn’t trying to kill you!” She answered. “I thought my dad woulda been too old by now to still be able to put up a fight…” Her head shook back and forth for a moment before her angry expression dropped into something more genuine, “And I honestly thought you’d could do it, if you got the jump on him with my trade route plans.”

Hook was still pouting but his posture shifted. A little less aggressive with a raised eyebrow.

 “But hey,” Nomad continued, “you’re here which means you might be the only pirate that ever got a few shots on my old man and lived to talk about it. That’s something.”

A small but proud smile snuck onto Hook’s face. He put his hook behind his back and put his hand on his chest. “I was rather remarkably composed when that vessel came into view, if I do say so me’self.”

“And, if it’s any consolation, I’ve never met a man that takes a table to the head like you just did.” Nomad chuckled. “Trust me, when I hit a man with furniture, they tend to stay down. Yet here you are, on your feet already.”

“Well, me dear, I didn’t become captain simply because I am overtly dashing in the hat.” The captain beamed. “I earned every ounce of my station by me own strength and cunning.” 

“And yet I know men twice your age that can’t even manage to steal half as much glory.” The woman glanced in Jafar’s direction.

The Potionista couldn’t help but smile. They weren’t just not fighting, they seemed to be getting along! They wished they could congratulate them on the friendship but considering how Hook and Cruella reacted to being called friends, it’d probably be best to not call attention to the bond. Just let it be and enjoy it from a distance.

“Hey,” Nomad gave the counter a slap, bringing the Potionista back to reality. “If ya give me one of those poof-away potions, I’ll go fetch a reward for Hook for being a good sport.”

“On it!” The employee ducked down behind the counter and grabbed the recipe book. Anything to help people get along.

“Oh ho ho. Now see here!” The pirate shook his hook at the woman. “I see what you’re doing, little lady. Buttering me up and then hightailing it for the hills, are we?”

“Hey, if I don’t come back with something for you, I’ll never be able to come back at all, right?” The woman leaned in closer to the man. “And I still need a few things for my plans. So don’t worry, sailor, I’ll be back.” She pinched the very tip of the man’s mustache and gave it a very quick little twist.

The man pulled back from the touch, however his brief flash of irritation gave way to a vague sense of confusion. He started twirling the tip of his mustache with a mild glare as the potionista set the Teletonic in front of Nomad. “Be back soon.” The employee chirped.

The woman took a quick sip of the brew and vanished in a cloud. The potionista saw Hook’s gaze lingering on the magic mist quickly fading away. The pirate leaned on the counter, gave the other patrons a suspicious glance and started speaking quietly.

“Say, have I ever spoken of anyone like that… ‘Nomad’ before?”

The employee looked at the other patrons too. Like always, they seemed more than content pretending none of the others existed whatsoever. But this was still the closest the worker would ever get to having a secret bartender conversation like in the movies so they leaned in and spoke softly too.

“Like Nomad how?”

“I’ve been overcome with the most confounding sense of deja-vu.” The pirate shook his head. “Something about a green-wearing free spirit dueling me whilst using gold dust to fly about and evade me seems so… familiar.”

The employee instantly tried very hard to not show any change in expression.

“It’s the most blasted thing. It seems so… natural. So typical. As if this ‘green spirit’ is so unspokenly innate and integral to who I am that the realization that this being is no longer in me life makes me feel… incomplete in some strange way I’ve never felt before.” The man scratched his head with the side of his hook. “And yet for the life of me, I cannot imagine what this spirit could possibly be or even come from.”

Peter Pan. He was thinking of Peter Pan. But he couldn’t think of Peter Pan. On day one, the employee saw just how even hearing the name used to drive the pirate mad. But now with his rewrite nearing debut, all of Hook’s hard work would get wasted if he fell into old habits now. They couldn’t let him remember.

Besides, what they were going to say wasn’t really a lie. Assumedly.

“Well, you know, I read an article that said Deja-Vu isn’t actually your brain remembering some hyper-specific event in your past.” The Potionista said with a poker face. The captain put his hook on his chin, pondering. “It’s actually your brain realizing it’s never been in a scenario like the one you’re in and is just making you feel like you have experience so you stay calm.” 

Hook slowly started nodding. He was buying it. “Aye. Aye, the brain can play tricks on one’s self.” He leaned in closer. “Take it from a man that’s drunk seawater after being left adrift for five days.” He shook his head with a grimace. “Madness.”

Another cloud formed besides the two people talking and Hook was quick to back away. Nomad formed out of the cloud, potion glass in one hand, the other hand balancing a rather sizable turquoise chest wrapped in criss-crossing gold leaf on her shoulder. She dropped the chest on the counter and pushed it towards Hook. 

The pirate stuck his hook in the lockhole and threw the lid open. There was a nice pile of gold coins inside but they seemed haphazardly thrown over another smaller wood box and some dark brown bottle laid at the bottom of the chest. Hook examined one of the coins and gave it a quick bite. “Ah, very good.” The man dropped the coin and pulled out the wood box. “Now what be this.” 

“It’s my father’s private brand.” Nomad watched Hook open the box. 

The Potionista saw a picture on the lid and turned their head as far sideways as they could. Oh, it was a big sail ship… probably didn’t need to nearly tip over trying to look at it. Very pretty, though. Looked expensive.

Hook smiled eagerly and pulled out a thick well-wrapped cigar. He delicately dragged the smoke under his nose and gave a satisfied sigh. “An excellent wear, me dear, but sadly I’ve given up this particular vice.” He tapped his throat with the cigar. “Need to save me pipes for me show, you know.”

“Well, that’s why I put this in.” She pulled out the bottle and handed it to Hook. “Also my father’s brand.”

The pirate effortlessly hooked the bottle cork out and took a swig. After a moment to consider the flavor profit, Hook gave a sharp exhale and grinned. “Oh, most excellent.” He recorked the bottle and set it back in the chest. “I suppose this might just settle our affairs for now, madam.”

“Might?” Nomad said, strangely without her usual conniving smirk. “Oh, that’ll come back to haunt me if I don’t fix it. Wanna do lunch?”

“What?”

“Or breakfast, I guess. Time is just vibes to me.”

The Potionista leaned over the counter. “Look, I’m glad you two are getting along now but he did just try to kill you. Are you sure, Nomad?”

The woman smiled. “As a famous pirate once said ‘You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest; honestly, it’s the honest ones you need to look out for’. As long as I know he’s out to get me, he can’t catch me off guard.” She tapped the side of her head smugly.

“Ah, clever girl.” Hook said with a grin. “Very wise, that pirate.”

“That sounds like awful advice.” The employee stated. “And a bad life policy in general.”

Nomad started bouncing in place, shifting her weight from one side to the other. “Besides, all that fighting got me too worked up to just sit around here all day. So how ‘bout it, sailor? I know a place on the boardwalk that you might like.”

After a bit of a pause, Hook shrugged and smiled. “If you’re paying, I’d be a fool to refuse.”

“The only thing I ever pay for is a gym membership so I can shower.” Nomad stated. “I’ll just let you know when it’s time to run.”

“Wait, are you homeless?” The employee gasped.

“Madam, I accept your bargain!”

Nomad pulled the pirate close and took a swig of the Teletonic. Hook hurriedly grabbed the big chest from the counter before disappearing with the woman in a puff of smoke.

The employee took a step back. Nomad had been homeless this whole time and never said anything? On one hand, it felt like it almost should have been obvious; she didn’t call herself ‘Renter’ or ‘Land Owner’. On the other hand, the Potionista assumed with how social the woman was that there was at least a little friendship between them. The other villains scolded the employee when they sneakily swapped potions for better or worse but still kept them rather involved in their plans. 

Cruella knew they didn’t really care for the fashion drama but still spilled every ounce of gossip, libel and slander that came to her. Jafar openly turned his ear-pod volume up when the employee started talking about the damages of crypto but still proudly announced every symposium and stream about Wyshcoin to them. Even Maleficent would put down her selfie stick to answer the apparently-obvious questions about magic the employee had. 

Why did Nomad not talk about this before? 

----

The Evil Queen took a long steady graceful drink of her potion and vanished in a cloud of smoke.  “Counter’s open!” The Potionista called out, collecting the old heavy coins the monarch left behind. There were a couple sets of footsteps approaching as the employee tossed the coins into the cash register.

On one side of the front counter was Nomad, thankfully looking no worse for wear, taking a drink out of zero sugar Four Loki. On the other side was Hook, standing proud as usual, although the employee couldn’t help but notice a neat little seagull feather sticking out of the pirate’s knitted cap. 

“Alright, who’s first?” The Potionista smiled.

The two looked at each other before Hook stepped up. “On the contrary, me bucko, the lady and I are together.” He answered.

“You two are dating?!”

“What!” Nomad stepped back from the counter.

“Perish the thought!” Hook said utterly offended.

“Seriously?!”

“Poppycock!”

“Look, kid,” Nomad put a hand to her head. “We had fun yesterday but don’t go being parasocial on us. We just walked around and had a long lazy lunch together. Don’t think about it too hard.”

“And I, I feasted on the flesh of me greatest enemy!” Hook dramatically thrusted his hook in the air.

“Uhhhhhh…” The employee was afraid to ask.

“Behold!” Hook dug through his pants pocket and thrusted his prize in the employee’s face. It was a small plastic figure of an alligator that had clearly been stabbed all over multiple times and had its eyes clawed, or more likely hooked, out. The front left leg even seemed to have been bitten off and forcefully replaced with the point of a toothpick.

“You… ate a plastic crocodile?” The potionista said, confused.

“Technically it’s an alligator,” Nomad added “and it came with those fancy overpriced drinks at the restaurant. But yeah, I wanted him to try the fried gator bites there to make him happy.”

“And now that I, too, know the taste of my most enduring enemy, I see now the source of his persistence.” Hook grinned wickedly, staring down the tiny mangled toy held in his hook. “I, too, now hungry for his flesh. And on his day of reckoning, when that wretched beast lays slain at my feet, me and my men shall feast like never before! And we shall feast knowing that Captain James Hook cannot be conquered or defeated by even the most unnatural, savage, loathsome beasts Nature ever devised against Man!”

The potionista nervously glanced at Nomad. The woman shrugged. “Yeah, he liked ‘em.”

“Uh-huh…” The employee took a second. Hook was still looking rather intense. No, ‘manic’ was a much more accurate word. The Potionista took a few side-steps away from Hook and towards Nomad. “So, how can I help you.” There probably wasn’t any helping Hook in this state of mind.

“I need a potion to turn me into a pirate captain like Hook.” Nomad stated.

“Oooookay. Is there a reason?”

Nomad rolled her eyes. “No, I just thought it’d be fun.” She sighed before continuing. “We were at the beach and we found a crowd of sea lions on the beach. It was nice until I saw a bunch of them had old motor blade wounds on their backs.”

“Oh no! That’s awful! Poor things!”

“Ugh, damaged goods.” Cruella muttered. “Just put the blighters out of my misery if they can’t be used.”

“Too true, dear.” Ursula added. She gave a long dramatic sigh, sinking sadly into her tub. “Why, I had the most beautiful sealskin cape back in Atlantica. Made me feel like the creme of the coral. Oh, how I miss it.”

“Anyway!” Nomad raised her voice. “Me and Hook got to talking and we struck a bargain; He helps me make the beaches safer for the wildlife and I use my illusions to take his show up a notch.”

“Aw, of course I’ll help! Gotta look out for wildlife… but I still don’t know why you need to be a pirate captain for that.”

“Beacauuuuuuse!” Nomad clapped her hands together, grinning widely. “We’re gonna pillage the docks and steal all the boat motors!”

“What?” 

“Hook’s gonna let me borrow his crew for a night and we’re gonna steal every motor we can find so nothing can hurt the animals anymore. Then some volunteers I found open a sail shop so people will buy sails to replace the motors, for a little extra income.”

“Wait, is this about animals or money?”

Nomad scoffed. “The animals but we just so happen to also be making money. I just need to be a true pirate captain so the crew stays in line and don’t do anything worse than steal.” The woman clapped her hands together. “Come oooon. You must have something that can help me.”

The Potionista sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.” They dipped down behind the counter and flipped open the potion book.

As usual, the book seemed to flip through itself before settling on a never-before-seen page. The potion on the top was a bold red drink in a tall thin glass with a white swirly feather draped so eloquently over the rim. “Skill! Precision! Cunning! Boldness! Fantastic mustaches (where applicable)! Liquid leadership has a name and it’s the ‘Captain’s Bluster’!”

The other potion was shown in a small glass shaped like a cannonball. The liquid inside seemed layered, white, blue, white, blue, white, blue with a dull red form filling the small bottleneck to the rim. “Tame inner and outer seas with a steady (metaphorical) hand and a kind heart that has seen it all and still stays true. ‘First Mate’s Mule’.”

What to do, what to do…

------

Repost Note: After a bit of reflecting I felt the old chapter was way too intense for what the game it's set it and decided to delete it. If you're reading this I thank you for giving my story another chance. For those that didn't, I don't blame them.

Original Author's Note: This chapter took a while (it single-handedly doubled the length of the fic so far) but it also gave me a great appreciation for Captain Hook that I didn't have before. Looking up the original movie for character references and even finding this wonderfully done retrospective on Hook's entire career under Disney made me realize why this seemingly simple old school villain is always a part of Disney Villain group shots and media like this game. He's just THAT good.

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(Part 2)

(Part 4)